This OS is result of wrong effect that the latest promo had on my mind! So um... this is my version, it's a vague idea of what I want or as it is wish to see, But I know that CVs version would be better and dreamy and steamy and lot better in many ways than mine, after all it would have KP and DT enacting...
BTW did I tell you I am in love with KP! Before?
Anyways... I hope you'd like it!
[NOTE: Not proof-read oblige errors if any...]
Of Tears and Separation
OS
Sometimes fantasies are much better and brighter than the gray realities, it isn't that one stops living though, how may ever the reality stings but its how broken one finds themselves in-front of the harshness of it, that they find death more easy and happy alternative.
When, now she finally thinks about it, she feels herself stupid to even think about happiness in her life... how can she even dream of such a thing? Wasn't she supposed to be deprived of it? Whole her life she only wanted one thing from it... someone who would love her, and enough to make her forget all the pain and all the emptiness that she carried in herself, but how could she even dare to dream, when only thing that she was in existence was to bear the pain of loneliness.
When he had entered her life, quite dramatically, she had no choice, no alternative, she was broken woman who wanted nothing but love, that she had found in Ruhi, his daughter, whom he pointedly ignored, but for whose happiness he married her. She had no hopes and whatsoever with that relationship with him; he was nothing but father to her daughter, her Ruhi. But then, days passed, and things changed, and so did his nature and her outlook for him. He came to respect her, and she started expecting from him, and then Param fiasco happened, that surprisingly brought them closer, emotionally inspite of breaking them. They started to trust each other.
She had heard, that love was beyond all the wonders of the world, and when it happens, things around seems to change, the world turns a beautiful place full of supernatural wonders, and even, to the person in love, the love of their life seems to exist in everything that surrounds them, and the world seems to be the happiest place, and for her too it happened the same, and even more, for her love of life of all the time was infront of her, she lived in his house, in his room, she was his wife, mother of his child, she had known him most intimately, in his happiest moments, in fragile moments, in the moments when he was angry, when he was at his taunting best, and even when he would pointedly insult her infront of anyone and everyone.
She was there, when he cared, flirted with her, gifted her expensive things and when he pampered her by spending his time with her, talking about nothing in particular, smiling, teasing and flirting. She had seen his shy smile, as he would compliment her for her looks, and on being teased by his and her family members, and his generosity when he would treat her Amma like his own, or would take her side against his own parents and siblings, even against his own son, when he would choose her over his first ever love, why then things changed, why he started to wave her off? Why he started to deviate from her? Didn't he love her, like she thought he did?
***
"Ishita! Ishita!" he called her enraged, while as he saw her entering her room, with her divine smile, he faltered a bit and then said with more ferocity than ever, subduing all other feelings, "Did you touched my files?", to which she nodded uncertain and scared at his anger, and he blasted at her, ignoring the tears pooling her eyes, "Don't you dare touch my belongings, this is my room so keep your hands off! I won't spare you next time." And that said walked off.
His heart beating fast at the hurt he felt seeing her tears, her quivering lips, her breaking down, why this was so difficult? She didn't love him, he knew this, she just respected him as Ruhi's father, she had said that many times, or maybe she did liked him, but liking does nothing, it was just a small thing that would end soon, as he would walk away. Else how will he make her understand that living with him, in his, as Abhi said, complicated life with so many complicated chapters was not only very difficult to survive but also it would make her simple life with so many complexities... would she understand, if he would tell her, would she go away if he asks her to, for her own good? And he knew the answer, it would be a clear NO, she was too selfless to go away for her happiness. But how can he let herself consume in the venomous past of his, with no fault of hers, except that she was his second-wife. Would it be right for her, to hold her back and throw her in the well of anger and revenge infront of his past relations?
No matter how much he loved her, but still he would not hold her back, he can't do this to the most beautiful soul he had ever met, he can't let her experience all the rage of his ex and son. He would rather live alone without her, than to throw her in fire knowingly. And if it meant hurting her, then so be it, even if it would kill him inside he would do this, for her, for his love, his Jhansi Ki Rani.
The days after saw all the insults that he could throw at her, that she accepted, without a word, her tears and voices of painful sobs muffled in the cushions at every hour of every night told him her story of hurt, but he adamantly, in order to push her away from him did what he thought he could. Taunted her for his daughter, about her being incompetent in being a mother and a wife, pushed her away brutally by being insensitive, taking upon his shoulder, ten-times more hurt than she was bearing.
And then one day, he asked her to leave him and his daughter, "Just leave... now! I don't want to see you here, I don't really know why I even agreed to marry you... it was probably the hugest mistake that I ever made in my thirty-two years of existence!" and with that he slammed the door of his house, locking her out-side. Holding the knob tightly till his knuckles turned white, as a single tear tickled down his cheek, he stood motion-less against the wooden door, his soul sinking in dark, fear engulfing in his heart of being left alone, to cross the shadows of life without her, and a small sarcastic smile curving his lips of being successful in this accomplishment. May be now she would be away from all the pain of the shadows of his past that she was not entitled to, he thought and silently walked towards his room, while others stood silently, too shocked to even utter a single word.
***
"What he thinks he is doing? How can he accuse Ishu of such a thing? I thought he loved her... I really thought he loved her..." Mani said, his voice contained doubt and confusion and anguish.
"I am also not able to understand anything, I have full confidence that Raman loves her, I have observed them, and their relation and I can bet that I have never seen any couple so caring towards each other as them. Both love each other and I have zilch doubt on it, what I don't understand is, why he is pushing her away, why he is being insensitive?" Bala said, but more to himself than Mani who was sitting with him, in caf on evening. They both had decided to meet on coffee to discuss the presently changed equation between Raman and Ishita.
"Insensitive? No... he is being absurd in behaving like this with her... she is his wife, she has done so much for him, married him at first place just for his daughter... and gave every ounce of love and respect to him and his family... and even fell in love with him... HIM, I mean, when I first met him he looked nothing but a ranting jerk! I understand that recently I saw his caring side towards Ishu, but what he has done this time is not forgivable. I'll be disappointed with if she forgives him this time, easily." Mani said anguished.
"No Mani... I thing its something different this time... I know Raman, I have seen him, he never does anything without any proper reason, it's something more serious than it looks." Bala said, looking at one point pointedly.
"What do you mean by that?" Mani asked confused.
"Mani, Raman is a guy who has pride problems, and he seldom shares anything emotional with anyone, he is like a silent volcano, he dies from within so that the life around him lives on... happily. He would never take any step without any proper reason. He must be having his reasons." Bala said, deeply in thought.
"What do you mean by, he must be having his reasons, Darn with his reasons Bala! Its Ishu I am more worried about, she is not okay, I have never seen her like this, so broken, she looks like she is living dead... what greater reason he must have to turn my Ishu into a living dead? And even if he has any reason, I want to know... what it is!" Mani said anguished.
"He is not that easy...that if you are going to ask he would open his heart." Bala said little irritated at his idiotic talk.
"But I can't see her sad... she doesn't talk, doesn't come out of her room, just sits in her balcony and gaze at his', she doesn't even talk properly with Ruhi... What has he done to her?" Mani said tensed.
"Even I have never seen her like this... she must really be in love with him, deeply. Do you think Raman is okay, after her leaving the house?" Bala inquires.
"He must be... who knows? I knew it from the beginning that he was not good for my Ishu, bloody sadist!" Mani said anguished.
"I saw him the other day, while going to the repairing site of Akaash-Ganga colony, he was unrecognizable!" Bala said, while stirring sugar in his coffee.
"Must be happy after breaking her..." Mani snarled.
"No seriously! I couldn't recognized him, his disheveled appearance, his dressing sense long forgotten, and he was wearing a chappal instead of shoe!" Bala told, and took a small sip.
While Mani also took a small sip and looked outside and said lost, "We need to help them..."
Bala looked at him surprised, quirking his brow as if asking how?
"Look... I don't know okay, but I'd figure something out, but for that we need help, like serious help and help of many, we can't do this without the participation of their families..." Mani said and looked at Bala hopefully, leaning across the table whilst sitting.
"What is in your mind?" Bala asked curiously.
"First tell me who can we include, who would not blow off the cover?" Mani asked inquisitively.
"Don't worry about that... our family is full of talented actors, Toshi aunty is there Bhalla uncle, Amma, Appa, Mihir, Mihika, Vandu,and best of all Romi and even our little Ruhi and Shravu...and me and you ofcourse... So what's the plan?" Bala was the one now who leaned towards him from across the table in order to hear it with bated breath.
"No now... not like this... Can we meet somewhere? Um.. where Raman and Ishu would have no point of giving us a surprise visit?" Mani asked hopefully.
"Yeah... there is..." Bala said smiling broadly at him.
"Where?" Mani asked uncertain.
"Why? Your place ofcourse!" Bala said with a smirk.
Mani smiled and nodded in consent and said, "Okay then, I'll see you and all at my place."
***
"WHAT?" Raman almost shouted. This cannot be true, this cannot be happening, wasn't this he wanted? He wanted to push her away and now when she was actually moving away then this was right, and he can't let himself feel weak now. No! he has to stay strong, and he would.
"Papa... IshiMa is really going away with Mani uncle... please stop her, how would I live, what would happen to me? Mera kya hoga unke bina... please Papa... unhe rok lo..." Ruhi said whimpering.
Raman looked at her small shivering form, due to crying and then turned his face away and wiped his own tears away, so that she doesn't see them.
"Ruhi, beta... IshiMa will be happy there, she was not happy with me, and I promise, she would talk to you every day, she would skype you okay, and look, I'll be here, we'll play video games at night, that IshiMa never used to let you play na... and we'll go to movies and ..." Raman couldn't continue when Ruhi started.
"Papa, she was happy with me here, she was happy when you both used to fight, but now, she is sad, she is always sad, she doesn't even talk to me, she doesn't even look at my drawings, only looks at me when I talk about you... only talks to me to ask, how you are doing... she misses you Papa... Please call her back." Ruhi almost begged.
Raman was astound looking at his daughter, she was begging him to call her IShiMa back... how he could bring anything at her feet before having her even utter its name, and now she was begging and for her mother too... how could he tell her that he can't take her back, as it would just mean to push her in the darkness of his life, how could he be so selfish, all he wanted was her happiness, and then he even forgot about his daughter, the main part of their life, for whom he and she in first place had married the other!
It was when Ruhi was crying that Mrs. Bhalla and Simmi and Romi entered his room, "Ruhi Puttar, why are you asking him anything, he won't do anything, just because of himself he would even let the mother-daughter separate. But Raman", toshi ji said as she looked at him angrily, her eyes filled with tears, "you are doing no good in separating mother and daughter from each other, you are breaking both, and when you'd realize this mistake it would be too late..."
Raman looked at her and then at his daughter, her tear stricken face filled his heart with guilt, but what about her tears and her emotions, because of his family she was insulted countless times, he insulted and taunted her zillion of times, his brother in law tried to play with her self-respect, his ex-wife taunted her and insulted her, his son even sent her to jail... can he let that happen... what was her mistake? What can he do? But he can surely do one thing. He looked at his daughter and his family and came out of his home and knocked the adjacent flat door.
"Raman tum?" Appa said as he opened the door.
"I have come to meet Ishita... It's really urgent!" Raman said, as he looked around.
"Um... Ishu is in her room..." Appa said looking doubtfully at him.
"But you can't meet her... she doesn't want to see you..."Mani piped in.
Raman looked at her confused and then looked away and said coldly, "She still is my wife, and I can meet her, I don't need yours or anyone else's permission for that..." and walked towards her room beside the stair case.
He took a deep breath and looked at the wooden door and knocked twice, on getting no response he entered a very silent room, there she was sitting silently, and quite lost in white legging and kurta, looking outside the large window, he silently entered and closed the door behind but left it unlatched.
Her face was away so all he could meet out was her body, it was almost a month since he had seen her, she never came out of her house, nor he had heard her melodious laughter nor her sweet voice that he had so many times complained had irritated him!
As he came close he called out her name to let her know of his presence, "Ishita..." and she almost immediately turned towards him, her eyes filled with unshed tears of hurt and separation and her from her lips escaped a faint sob, as the tears trailed down her alabaster cheeks, and her chest heaved quickly, her eyes went wide on acknowledging his presence, that were now surrounded by darkness that told the story of her not resting properly, while she looked at him like she was drowning him his presence, happily. Tracing his features with unabated breath, filling her lungs and heart and every senses with his memory.
While he was too shocked seeing her at her vulnerable best, her weak form, dark circles around her eyes, and her empty look. What has he done? He just wanted her to be away from that troublesome life with him, away from the devils of his past, away from hurt and insults that his past bestowed on her generously, but what is here that he was seeing. He had never seen her like this, so broken, so alone, so empty, his eyes filled with tears seeing her like that and he did what he could, he slumped down on his knees and looked at her ashamed of whatever damage he had done, "I am sorry... I am so sorry Ishita... please... Please forgive me..." he said in broken voice looking down, while keeping his palms on her knees, while he could hear her hiccups and all he heard from her was, "Why Raman?"
"Because... I wanted you to be happy, I was scared of keeping you in my life and see you hurting, because of my complicated past, you have experienced so many bads and worsts because of him and my family, my own son Adi sent you behind bars! I wanted to protect you from my past, even if that meant to push you away, to hurt you... I didn't want anything happen to you..." Raman said as he broke down in whimpers on ever word he uttered.
"Raman... I just want you by my side like you want me. Nothing else matters, no hurt and no insult matters if you are with me... seeing my life without you, however is like giving away myself to darkness of the other world. I am dead without you Raman. You don't know, but you are my heart-beats!" Ishita explained calmly.
"I am sorry Ishita... I didn't knew..." Raman said and looked in her eyes, that reflected nothing but purest form of love.
Ishita looked at him, who in turn was looking down at his hands that were kept on her knees playing with the fringe of her kurta, she smiled at him shyly and said, "By the way, I know that it was not the mistake of pharma, but you had kept it that day in the drawer..." and looked down at his fingers that momentarily stopped fidgeting and she could feel his surprised gaze fixed on her, as she could feel herself blushing profusely.
"How can you do this?" he asked, surpassing of what she thought he would say or rather tease. She looked at him inquisitively with her brow knotted in confusion. "How can you forgive someone who did the harshest to you... who insulted you pointedly infront of so many, who threw you out of house, not even bothering about how you would feel about it... how can you do this? Why are you so selfless Ishita? Here I don't even know how to ask you to return home and here you are forgiving and forgetting!" he said with amazement in his voice.
"What do you want me to do? To sit and sulk for rest of my life because my husband is a dumb man who doesn't even understand what I am trying to suggest? Yes I know... I should rather go to the Himalayas than to sit and wait for you to take some action!" she leaned back, resting against the wall.
"Wait... What? Dumb!!" he looked at her astonished at her accusation. He came on his knees alert and leaned towards her and held her hair back abruptly, causing her to yelp in pain, but that didn't made him loosen the grip, rather he slightly tightened it, making sure to not hurt her much, and jerked her head backwards and hissed, "Dumb han?" and leaned forward.
This was how the Iyers, Bhallas, Bala and family, Mani and Mihir and Mihika found them, others being slightly embarrassed, but Mrs. Iyer rapidly hopped forward in happiness her face crimson with blush and shy smile and said shyly, "Ayyoo...Ishu... Romba Romba!!!" and hid her face between her palms shyly while others giving a shy smile looked on, while Raman-Ishita looked at their crazy little family intruding in there would have been first kiss.
***
Okay guys that's it.
I am illiterate where Tamil is concerned, I don't know anything about it, but only the fact that I like it so much now... I hope to learn it some day.
Anyways... I hope you liked it...
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