Living in Truth - Page 2

Originally posted by: greatmaratha

as long as honesty and transperancy is maintained in every other facet of their relationship.

Hiding such small issues in the overall well being of the family seems to be a small price to pay...

😊Very true....Well said....👏 👏

Originally posted by: greatmaratha

Since everyone above has presented views supporting the debate, I venture to argue against.

Fear of husband and leads to hiding information from him often does stem from sometimes irrational behaviour from the spouse.

Eg given of losing a solitaire.... if the rebuke is only for losing a gift or losing a precious gift or an expensive gift, maybe there may not be any fear in confiding. But if the rebuke is followed by other abuses, both verbal and physical (not uncommon ) then sometimes, the wife may be prompted to keeping quiet on it and allowing nature to take its course... who knows when the loss would be discovered and who knows whether it would be discovered at all.

Should this be a part of married life? As long as it is on such issues, I say, it should be fine, as long as honesty and transperancy is maintained in every other facet of their relationship.

Hiding such small issues in the overall well being of the family seems to be a small price to pay...

I agree completely.. We are not all married to the same person.. 😛 If sharing loss in the stock market or losing a wedding band (material stuff imo) is going to create a rippled affect on an otherwise calm married life it is ok to avoid sharing it. As long as the act is not done to harm the family in any way or violate commitment to the other it is not a big deal .. After all we all have learnt to hide things from parents when growing up.. I remember losing a new watch at the age of 13 at a school picnic and was petrified with anyone finding about it.. Well after a day everyone in the family found out and was lectured for years whenever I asked for something...😡

i have seen partners even lying on cost of big or small items even simple like clothes. To me lie is a lie. If you think this will creat rift or argument, then why bother or if you still wish to get it then just tell that you need it.
i hate when man yell at their spouse for any of their mistakes and worst is that they keep it alive in their arguments for long (And complain that women talk much 😆 ) most time reason for women that I see is that their hubby will not stop taunting them forever 😕

Originally posted by: Swar_Raj

i have seen partners even lying on cost of big or small items even simple like clothes. To me lie is a lie. If you think this will creat rift or argument, then why bother or if you still wish to get it then just tell that you need it.
i hate when man yell at their spouse for any of their mistakes and worst is that they keep it alive in their arguments for long (And complain that women talk much 😆 ) most time reason for women that I see is that their hubby will not stop taunting them forever 😕

dont know but it can be a way to shut the wife (rather than complaining tht they talk much)😉😆

Originally posted by: greatmaratha

Since everyone above has presented views supporting the debate, I venture to argue against.

Fear of husband and leads to hiding information from him often does stem from sometimes irrational behaviour from the spouse.

Eg given of losing a solitaire.... if the rebuke is only for losing a gift or losing a precious gift or an expensive gift, maybe there may not be any fear in confiding. But if the rebuke is followed by other abuses, both verbal and physical (not uncommon ) then sometimes, the wife may be prompted to keeping quiet on it and allowing nature to take its course... who knows when the loss would be discovered and who knows whether it would be discovered at all.

Should this be a part of married life? As long as it is on such issues, I say, it should be fine, as long as honesty and transperancy is maintained in every other facet of their relationship.

Hiding such small issues in the overall well being of the family seems to be a small price to pay...

I loved how you mentioned verbal and physical abuse. IMO, such spouses need to be dumped anyway whether you lost a solitaire / not 🤢.

But even when abuse is not involved, husband losing money in stocks and hiding it.. then continually doing the same.. won't remain a trivial matter. In fact, once he digs into retirement / education funds / equity even, over all well-being of the family could be affected in the long run. Losing one solitataire and hiding it.. must clearly not become a habit.
I don't object to hiding trivia.. but anything that makes significant dent in family income / savings.. is not trivial and will affect family life wven if hidden for a while. 😳

The fear may also be because they don't want to hurt their spouses... If it is something that will snatch night's sleep from one's spouse, better not tell them.

If I made a mistake but I think that I can manage to mend it before he finds out, I would prefer not telling him about it. But if it something that he may find in the future, or some irrepairable damage has been caused, of course, one should tell their spouse. The pain caused then might be more than what would have occured if they were informed in the right place by the right person.

Fearing your husband/wife because they will harass you emotionally or physically is just 🤢. As QT said, those people should not even be spouses if the case is such.

But hiding trivial matters is not a biggie and is fun sometimes. 😆

For example, my dad is a big food freak and my mom always gets angry when he brings various things when he comes back at night, as it ruins the dinner. So, he will wait till she goes of sight and then, give it to me and my bro. Then, my dad has this solemn face for dinner and mom finds out and she goes on a rampage with all health concerns and bla bla bla. But that little fear that my dad has makes it a fun evening for me and my brother. 😆

Originally posted by: rutumodi915

The fear may also be because they don't want to hurt their spouses... If it is something that will snatch night's sleep from one's spouse, better not tell them.

and sometimes, it is just the fear of looking stupid over and over 😆😆..
That reminds me of me lying to nalin about cancelling Gevalia coffee. When the next shipment arrived, i said.. "well, i restarted it sweety, just this once so that i can store 6 more for next 6 months". Come December, when i recieved a FORCED holiday collection with MINT coffee 😉 he smirked and asked me I had obviously started enjoying MINT coffee that i hated till a month ago, now that we have 6 packs to last for a year😉..
Then I confessed, came clean that I had never cancelled. Some things don't hide anyway and since they're trivial, it's okay I guess. I just play safe since I was caught with the ridiculous amount of mint coffee in my porch😆😆..

Originally posted by: Swar_Raj

One recent incident made me think, how much truth do we have around us.

one of my friend lost her purse and she was frantic to tell about this to her husband. One of my friend lost her solitaire and was almost dead of fear to share it with her husband. Also one of my cousin lost a big money in stock market and never told his wife.

Why is this fear in husband and wife? I do see when a lady makes mistake, she gets scolding left & right where as husbands coverup their same mistakes as nothing. Such lies, should they be part of a married life? if we hode such things, then why is there a surprise when they cheat on each other as there was no fear already existing in the relationship.

Is it fair to live with such fear 😃

May be the fear is out of the love and respect they have to their partners! May be they donot want to bother them!!!!