Living in Truth

One recent incident made me think, how much truth do we have around us.

one of my friend lost her purse and she was frantic to tell about this to her husband. One of my friend lost her solitaire and was almost dead of fear to share it with her husband. Also one of my cousin lost a big money in stock market and never told his wife.

Why is this fear in husband and wife? I do see when a lady makes mistake, she gets scolding left & right where as husbands coverup their same mistakes as nothing. Such lies, should they be part of a married life? if we hode such things, then why is there a surprise when they cheat on each other as there was no fear already existing in the relationship.

Is it fair to live with such fear 😃

Originally posted by: Swar_Raj

One recent incident made me think, how much truth do we have around us.

one of my friend lost her purse and she was frantic to tell about this to her husband. One of my friend lost her solitaire and was almost dead of fear to share it with her husband. Also one of my cousin lost a big money in stock market and never told his wife.

Why is this fear in husband and wife? I do see when a lady makes mistake, she gets scolding left & right where as husbands coverup their same mistakes as nothing. Such lies, should they be part of a married life? if we hode such things, then why is there a surprise when they cheat on each other as there was no fear already existing in the relationship.

Is it fair to live with such fear 😃

hey! some people are just impossible and some others get stuck with them for the rest of their lives.. Fear and Hiding is not good though. I mean some day, the truth will come out anyway! My husband is very strict with certain things and I am an airhead with money matters. I'll order things and not cancel them ( like online deals 🤢🤢) and end up spending hundreds for no cause.. 2 examples- gevalia coffee and Kaboom cleaner 😭😭😭 I have these for a life time....
But I doubt hiding such behaviour gets one anywhere. I am much better off being yelled at and being made fun of rather than caught bluffing / caught hiding. It makes it worse i think.
if the spouse is absolutely impossible and will almost go for a kill for such trivia, then why is one with the spouse yet? Everybody makes mistakes, and everybody is allowed to, as long as it is not habitual gambling / alcohol / women or similar addictions behind the spouse's back 😛

Originally posted by: Swar_Raj

One recent incident made me think, how much truth do we have around us.

one of my friend lost her purse and she was frantic to tell about this to her husband. One of my friend lost her solitaire and was almost dead of fear to share it with her husband. Also one of my cousin lost a big money in stock market and never told his wife.

Why is this fear in husband and wife? I do see when a lady makes mistake, she gets scolding left & right where as husbands coverup their same mistakes as nothing. Such lies, should they be part of a married life? if we hode such things, then why is there a surprise when they cheat on each other as there was no fear already existing in the relationship.

Is it fair to live with such fear 😃

Fear is directly proportional to the extent of loss and the ability to redeem it...this applies to everything... 😊

For eg. how would you react if you have unknowingly ate something during pregnancy which led to birth defects.. all these situations warrant fear not courage to voice out... undoable things are worse...

Originally posted by: Swar_Raj

One recent incident made me think, how much truth do we have around us.

one of my friend lost her purse and she was frantic to tell about this to her husband. One of my friend lost her solitaire and was almost dead of fear to share it with her husband. Also one of my cousin lost a big money in stock market and never told his wife.

Why is this fear in husband and wife? I do see when a lady makes mistake, she gets scolding left & right where as husbands coverup their same mistakes as nothing. Such lies, should they be part of a married life? if we hode such things, then why is there a surprise when they cheat on each other as there was no fear already existing in the relationship.

Is it fair to live with such fear 😃

Very good topic Swarji. I feel sometimes the husband and wife donot know each other's true nature and temperament till much later. One of my Prof. at the Univ. had her daughter's wedding. She is Canadian and she actually lied to her husband about the cost of her own dress!!!! The husband is retired whereas she is working......... yet she had that fear that he would get mad if he knew how much she spent on her own dress.

At times husband and wife hide things from one another for fear of hurting eachother. I have heard wives sometimes say its best not to tell husbands trivial things just to avoid an argument.

Originally posted by: Swar_Raj

One recent incident made me think, how much truth do we have around us.

one of my friend lost her purse and she was frantic to tell about this to her husband. One of my friend lost her solitaire and was almost dead of fear to share it with her husband. Also one of my cousin lost a big money in stock market and never told his wife.

Why is this fear in husband and wife? I do see when a lady makes mistake, she gets scolding left & right where as husbands coverup their same mistakes as nothing. Such lies, should they be part of a married life? if we hode such things, then why is there a surprise when they cheat on each other as there was no fear already existing in the relationship.

Is it fair to live with such fear 😃

"Truth is the best policy..... i m beaten up to hell losing things in childhood by parents.... still every time i lose something i would tell them😛😆......

same with the spouse.... i would nt be comfortable hiding anything from spouse but i would definitely require her to be very matured and dont want her to react without using heart and brains😆...... so having brains is basic requirement and applying them is advanced requirement😉😆

About stock market........i always tell loosing story to my friends....otherwise party dheena padega daily... 😉 😆


My opinion Be open with your close ones...thats better for all...

Originally posted by: GUARDIAN ANGEL

At times husband and wife hide things from one another for fear of hurting eachother. I have heard wives sometimes say its best not to tell husbands trivial things just to avoid an argument.

Nice point Minali! I understand and agree with those wives as long as things are trivial. Losing money in stock and losing solitaire clearly not one of them 😊.. (unless if u married Bill Gates/Brad Pitt / Kobe Bryant/ similar)

Nice post Swar 😊

Fear never works for relationships. And I think its got something to do with the insecurity in a relationship as well. I mean, some wo/men might hide things jus to avoid an argument or unnecessary headaches, buh some do fear the consequences or the reactions to the act as well.

e.g. Depends on how I rate the act of losing money in stock myself, lets say thousands of dollars or pounds. For me it may seem like an unpardonable deed n I might think my hubby might see it in the same light. And then the insecurity creeps in, thinking, will I be forgiven? Pushing it a bit further...what if he calls it a day? Or what if he never trusts me with money ever again?! These thoughts are difficult to live with esp if accompanied by the fear of being judged too quickly by the spouse. I think it gets a tad bit more difficult, if the other person is extremely sensitive over these issues as well.

I think, as everyone said, there should be openness between couples and its easier if both are open minded, understanding and believe that its human to err and things can be sorted out.

Its to avoid confrontation and ugly scenes at home i believe....since for most of us home is a refuge and we want peace of mind once we are home...

Since everyone above has presented views supporting the debate, I venture to argue against.

Fear of husband and leads to hiding information from him often does stem from sometimes irrational behaviour from the spouse.

Eg given of losing a solitaire.... if the rebuke is only for losing a gift or losing a precious gift or an expensive gift, maybe there may not be any fear in confiding. But if the rebuke is followed by other abuses, both verbal and physical (not uncommon ) then sometimes, the wife may be prompted to keeping quiet on it and allowing nature to take its course... who knows when the loss would be discovered and who knows whether it would be discovered at all.

Should this be a part of married life? As long as it is on such issues, I say, it should be fine, as long as honesty and transperancy is maintained in every other facet of their relationship.

Hiding such small issues in the overall well being of the family seems to be a small price to pay...