Posted:
A lot of people seem to have failed to understand the gravity of what Ali did. For starters he did NOT apologize.
As soon as Sonali upbraided him for touching her, ALi denied it but soon as her back was turned - he confessed to Upen and Karishma that he did indeed feel her up.
When Sonali came back and scolded Ali - he tried to say that you have kicked me so it's quits.
Then when Sonali went outside to talk to Praneet and others - the group inside realized that they will not be able to hush up the matter (till then Upen, Karishma and Diandra were laughing at Sonali alongwith Ali). Soon as the matter went out - these three switched their dialog and said that Ali was wrong.
Then Ali went outside and claimed that Sonali kept trying to flirt with him, so he was within his rights to "JOKE" with her. Again Praneet and Sonali - clearly told him that he was trying to wriggle out of the situation. Sonali then clearly said that far from flirting with Ali - she never even talked to him - which everyone agreed with.
Later Praneet warned Ali to stop harassing Sonali as he was constantly trying to bully her for tasks (which everyone was slacking on, but Ali was targeting only Sonali), and he even tried to talk rot to her about her friendship with Gautam etc. (trying to stop her from interacting with other guys). Praneet's exact words "Yeh sab thoda zyada ho raha hai"
Clearly this was NOT a case of a harmless joke. First and foremost - No Attempt To Touch A Woman Without Her Permission Is A Harmless Joke. Nothing justifies it - not your relationship, not her relationship with other people - NOTHING. If you think otherwise - you need to go and reassess your own value system. This really is NON-NEGOTIABLE, NON-JUSTIFIABLE, NON-EXCUSABLE, NON-FORGIVABLE, NON-ACCEPTABLE. It cannot be emphasized enough.
The sole judge of whether a touch was appropriate or inappropriate is the woman herself. If she's uncomfortable - it's not acceptable. The sole way to be safe from "false" accusation - Keep Your Hands to Yourself - plain and simple. If you did not touch her, she cannot complain that your touch was inappropriate. Really, it's not on a doctor's prescription that you go around touching women anywhere you please.
Coming to the excuses:
1. She's sharing her bed/blanket with other men: Operative word "OTHER" men. Even if a woman is a professional sex-worker, a man cannot go and MOLEST her. Yes, touching a woman without her permission IS INDEED MOLESTATION.
2. They are living in intimate setting, such things happen: Really? This setting is like our own homes, where we live with our male/female relatives. I would be very shocked indeed if such "things happen" within the confines of a family home.
3. He was only joking: He's older than 7. That means he's old enough to know what is a joke and what is not. The other day he created a ruckus when Gautam uttered a bad word against his sister during an argument. Today he's joking when it comes to other women?
4. He's apologized, let it rest: Really?! Like I proved above - he did NOT apologize, he tried to wriggle out of it. And when he realized that he could not get away with it, he tried to apologize. The way he shared the matter with Punit and others who did not know of his actions, also clearly showed that he did not feel guilty about what he had done. Then later when he was punished by BiggBoss, again his reaction showed that he was NOT AT ALL SORRY, and in fact he felt that he was being punished unnecessarily.
5. She's a DramaQueen/Sl*t/etc.: Did she get friendly with him and asked him to touch her and then created an issue? Was she even talking to him? How does her character come into the picture. Well for all of you here's a newsflash - the WOMAN is the VICTIM here. SHE has NOT done anything wrong here. SHE was not even talking to him. In fact, she was in Upen's bed, talking to Upen. What was the need for Ali to jump in there?
6. His punishment is too severe: No it is not. Before defending the man, think on - there are 84 cameras in the house, and any number of people around; despite all that - this man feels bold enough to molest the girl. How would he have behaved if he was NOT being watched constantly? Would a girl feel safe in the house with a man like that? I guess only a woman who's been at the receiving end of unwelcome advances can truly empathize with the victim here. In reality his just punishment should've been summary eviction.
Fact is ever since Ali came to the house - he's been trying to get friendly with the women and no one has given him any encouragement. He thought Sonali was the most vulnerable and he tried to first get close to her, then he tried to break her friendship with Gautam, when none of it worked he tried to bully he out of frustration. Today when he saw her talking to Upen and their comfort factor - he thought "chance maar lete hain" - but it blew up in his face.
Do we want to have sympathy for a person who is no better than a roadside romeo - I certainly don't.
As soon as Sonali upbraided him for touching her, ALi denied it but soon as her back was turned - he confessed to Upen and Karishma that he did indeed feel her up.
When Sonali came back and scolded Ali - he tried to say that you have kicked me so it's quits.
Then when Sonali went outside to talk to Praneet and others - the group inside realized that they will not be able to hush up the matter (till then Upen, Karishma and Diandra were laughing at Sonali alongwith Ali). Soon as the matter went out - these three switched their dialog and said that Ali was wrong.
Then Ali went outside and claimed that Sonali kept trying to flirt with him, so he was within his rights to "JOKE" with her. Again Praneet and Sonali - clearly told him that he was trying to wriggle out of the situation. Sonali then clearly said that far from flirting with Ali - she never even talked to him - which everyone agreed with.
Later Praneet warned Ali to stop harassing Sonali as he was constantly trying to bully her for tasks (which everyone was slacking on, but Ali was targeting only Sonali), and he even tried to talk rot to her about her friendship with Gautam etc. (trying to stop her from interacting with other guys). Praneet's exact words "Yeh sab thoda zyada ho raha hai"
Clearly this was NOT a case of a harmless joke. First and foremost - No Attempt To Touch A Woman Without Her Permission Is A Harmless Joke. Nothing justifies it - not your relationship, not her relationship with other people - NOTHING. If you think otherwise - you need to go and reassess your own value system. This really is NON-NEGOTIABLE, NON-JUSTIFIABLE, NON-EXCUSABLE, NON-FORGIVABLE, NON-ACCEPTABLE. It cannot be emphasized enough.
The sole judge of whether a touch was appropriate or inappropriate is the woman herself. If she's uncomfortable - it's not acceptable. The sole way to be safe from "false" accusation - Keep Your Hands to Yourself - plain and simple. If you did not touch her, she cannot complain that your touch was inappropriate. Really, it's not on a doctor's prescription that you go around touching women anywhere you please.
Coming to the excuses:
1. She's sharing her bed/blanket with other men: Operative word "OTHER" men. Even if a woman is a professional sex-worker, a man cannot go and MOLEST her. Yes, touching a woman without her permission IS INDEED MOLESTATION.
2. They are living in intimate setting, such things happen: Really? This setting is like our own homes, where we live with our male/female relatives. I would be very shocked indeed if such "things happen" within the confines of a family home.
3. He was only joking: He's older than 7. That means he's old enough to know what is a joke and what is not. The other day he created a ruckus when Gautam uttered a bad word against his sister during an argument. Today he's joking when it comes to other women?
4. He's apologized, let it rest: Really?! Like I proved above - he did NOT apologize, he tried to wriggle out of it. And when he realized that he could not get away with it, he tried to apologize. The way he shared the matter with Punit and others who did not know of his actions, also clearly showed that he did not feel guilty about what he had done. Then later when he was punished by BiggBoss, again his reaction showed that he was NOT AT ALL SORRY, and in fact he felt that he was being punished unnecessarily.
5. She's a DramaQueen/Sl*t/etc.: Did she get friendly with him and asked him to touch her and then created an issue? Was she even talking to him? How does her character come into the picture. Well for all of you here's a newsflash - the WOMAN is the VICTIM here. SHE has NOT done anything wrong here. SHE was not even talking to him. In fact, she was in Upen's bed, talking to Upen. What was the need for Ali to jump in there?
6. His punishment is too severe: No it is not. Before defending the man, think on - there are 84 cameras in the house, and any number of people around; despite all that - this man feels bold enough to molest the girl. How would he have behaved if he was NOT being watched constantly? Would a girl feel safe in the house with a man like that? I guess only a woman who's been at the receiving end of unwelcome advances can truly empathize with the victim here. In reality his just punishment should've been summary eviction.
Fact is ever since Ali came to the house - he's been trying to get friendly with the women and no one has given him any encouragement. He thought Sonali was the most vulnerable and he tried to first get close to her, then he tried to break her friendship with Gautam, when none of it worked he tried to bully he out of frustration. Today when he saw her talking to Upen and their comfort factor - he thought "chance maar lete hain" - but it blew up in his face.
Do we want to have sympathy for a person who is no better than a roadside romeo - I certainly don't.
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
CID
