STAR CROSSED LOVE

STAR CROSSED LOVE ...

Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of Strength

He came .. He saw .. He shattered

She came .. She saw .. She scattered

Hello my fellow YHM lovers .. a week wrought with tremendous angst .. am sure all of us cried with the two star crossed lovers .. both finally finding the courage to say the words to themselves the magic words .. I love you ... but the irony of the situation .. both had never been further apart than then when they said those words ...

The courage came to fore finally ... she who always felt she was half a woman .. a woman who could not give her man an essential part of their love .. family .. today had managed to keep his family together .. she had gifted him his family .. she felt complete enuf to say the words .. I love you ...

He had finally let his passion take reign . he was on the verge of declaring himself ...he had fasted for her .. an ultimate reflection of his complete devotion towards her .. but fate decreed otherwise .. the words he wanted to hear the words he had promised her she would one day speak in his presence .. she did utter those words .. but wrapped in another man's arms .. speaking them to another ...

Here are some verses I had written about the breakdown of Raman . I would like to use those as a precursor to this post .. to set the mood ...

Every turn he took it spun around

Every step he took he slipped around

Every time he moved it came around

Life was but a series of betrayal ...

His track record in it was abysmal

The only recourse was bacchanal

Because an unloved man was his portrayal ...

He cried to the heavens above

He asked for a little love

She had come to him because of his little dove

but they had managed to create their own little cove

today that cove lay shattered

His heart & life lay scattered

He turned around & looked but he was alone

Well his past today had created its very own clone

Abandonment was his destiny he thought

When being in her arms was all he sought

He lay lost & dejected

Thinking yet again he was rejected

Note: ... I have got numerous PM's & in numerous discussions in the LU thread . the one thing that stood tall for me .. was the way the audience is taking sides .. this is my attempt to explain the scenario from both ends .. do read with an open mind. In a relation there is no right or wrong .. we all know in this one neither is to be blamed hence its called a MISUNDERSTANDING .. one which can be cleared, simply if both parties took courage into their hands & spoke the truth ...

The Buildup ...

He got up to a raging headache .. his head his mind his heart all throbbing to a painful tattoo .. the pain all over unbearable .. he walks & slumps himself on the dining table ... she brings a glass of lemonade for his hangover .. smiling joking .. laughing concern pouring out of every part of her ...

He pauses .. his heart beat stops .. his mind a vortex spins uncontrollably .. when she asks him. .. what should she wear to tonites celebrations ...

Should she match her clothes with him .. she wanted to be dressed as per his liking ... she wanted to be dressed like the ASIAN HEADS WIFE ought to ..

His heart which had started its staccato rhythm stopped .. the mind & heart were at war .. her smile & concern pulling at his heart strings .. her talk about matching dress codes pulling his mind into the quagmire of the past ...

He shouts .. he wants silence . he wants peace from all this whirlpool of thots circulating in his mind .. he goes away from there .. searching for peace ..

But his past follows him in his room .. the mind had managed to push the heart out of battle .. & had won the day .. his mind starts throwing images of the past at him .. days when matching dress codes were codes to ruin him .. the broken man starts finding pieces of himself scattered ... & looks into the mirror to patch himself up ..

He stares at himself in the mirror & says .. this RELATION was about RUHI .. & it would stay that way ..he drew strength from those words SIRF RUHI KE LIYE but still could not lie to himself .. he could not look in the mirror as he uttered the next words ..NOTHING ELSE MATTERED.. it mattered & he knew it .. his heart shattered lay in fragments all across him .. when he picked up the invite & vowed to himself .. he would teach his past & his present .. that he could not be relinquished ... he would rise victor ... he said this as he picked up the sign of his victory in his hands .. the invite which proclaimed him ASIAN BUSINESS GUILD HEAD ... yes he had won ... but was it a victory ..

HE walked into the party resplendent in white .. not a mark on his clothes which would reflect the blood stains on his heart .. when he is greeted by all .. he turns around .. this was a time for victory .. & he wanted to share it with her .. he turns around but she was not with him ...

This morning his woman was fairly dancing about his award .. the heart which was loosing the battle constantly with the mind .. held that thot close to his chest .. he wanted to believe her ... he wanted to hope .. he wanted to love ... but the reality was the rude awakening .. she was not by his side .. SHE HAD NOT REACHED HOME .. to WALK BY HIS SIDE ..

The bruised heart bled a bit more ... when he turned around to look & found himself alone .. yet again ...

She was excited for Raman ..he had finally reached the success from where he could leave his past behind ... she had secured his heart .. she had secured his family .. finally he could rest .. he was so high up .. that his past could not reach him .. she had finally got him ready to be JUST .. MERE RAMAN ...

in her quest to make him ready for her claim .. she lost time & she lost him .. her focus slipped on the tertiary ... had she paused .. she would know .. all he wanted to relinquish his past was .. HER STANDING TALL NEXT TO HIM ..

Were they both wrong in their thinking .. no she was out fighting his battle .. while he was standing all alone facing his biggest success till date ...

She comes swishing into the party along with her in laws .. resplendent in white .. the colour of purity .. the purity of her love & her heart shining in her eyes .. which were desperately seeking the man .. .her MAN .. When she found him standing talking to a few people ...

She stops & looks at him .. her heart taking him in .. he also wore white .. once again unconsciously they were of same mind .. but they did not even know that ...

Ek nadi ke dono jaise kinare hai .. saath saath rehna hai .. roothna manaa hai .. phir kaisi hai ladaai ...

She is about to go to him .. when her friend .. pops in front of her ... she stops to talk to him .. securing her husbands post .. she wanted to know if all was well & there was no chance of any embarrassment which would happen to her husband .. yet again while she was busy securing his position .. she distanced herself from him .. she lost time & she lost a bit more of him ..

He could feel her presence in the room .. he turned around & caught a glimpse of her .. she was looking ravishing in White .. yes they were of same mind tonight ...but the path between the two of them had an obstacle ... HIM .. he was also dressed in white .. he frowns .. looks away listening to the dignitaries droning on & on .. his mind on her & him .. he turns around once again .. & still finds them deep in discussion .. laughing & giggling .. he sees the man step close & touch his wife's hair .. he sees her shy giggle .. he sees them together ... the distance between them WAS HUGE ..

She had not come to the party with him & when she finally came to the party .. SHE WAS NOT WITH HIM .. she was not BY HIS SIDE .. but beside HIM ...

The bruised heart bled a little more ... when he turned around to look & found himself alone ... yet again ...

Minutes which seemed like hours passed by .. they had yet to exchange a word he was busy rubbing shoulders with esteemed colleagues & she stood on one side with her IN laws . .not wanting to intrude .. it was his day to shine . all she wanted to do was BASK in the glory of his success ...

She had a present for him .. the bracelet .. which she had bought for him .. which had started that huge fight between them .. he had apologized to her for the SHAQ .. so she finally wants to gift him with her gift of love ... tonite she was ready to lay herself bare to him .. she was ready to BIND HIM TO HER .. she was ready to put her MARK on him a mark which proclaimed him as hers .. & only hers .. MERE RAMAN ...

He stood in one end talking ... but his mind kept reflecting on his side which still remained empty .. he was in a room to celebrate his success .. but the hollow feeling was eating at him .. what was success when he did not have her standing next to him .. was it success or was it his loss he celebrated tonite .. was the thot that was hitting him at all junctures ...

When he felt a tug on his arms .. he turned around .. & FINALLY FOUND HER THERE .. BY HIS SIDE ... she was fiddling with his arms .. trying to fasten something in his arm .. they revert back to their only form of foreplay .. the nok jhok .. silent one this time .. but the familiarity of the same is a balm to his soul .. she was here right beside him .. they were back to their normal routine ..

She is caught out by the guests & he looks at her .. finally .. he simply by gesture asks her to join him ... his heart was in his eyes .. when he picks his wrist up to see the BRACELET

The world stops .. the shine of the bracelet blinding him .. the bracelet .. the one which started it all ... the bracelet which came before Mani to Manisha .. she had told him then it was for him ... it was this bracelet which had started his down ward spiral ... he had rejected it .. he had apologized as well to her ... & today his own apology was laughing at him ... He had not touched that bracelet .. but today it lay on his arm ... its shining visage laughing up at him .. he had really lost ... he needed no other sign or vindication ... he had lost .. that bracelet which he had thot was a token of her love .. today stood there laughing at him .. YES HE HAD LOST TODAY .. YES HE HAD COME SECOND TODAY ..

Nothing could've pushed that knife which was sticking in his back .. more than that bracelet which lay smirking at him from his wrist ...

What he had wanted was the love .. not the bracelet that day .. but he got the bracelet .. while the love rested with another ...

His heart firmly broke that moment .. it was over then .. the heart had lost to the mind completely ... he had lost .. the man who was to go on stage to talk about coming first .. was second ... & he knew that ... the irony of celebration crippled him ... it was strange he had to go on stage & talk about victory .. celebrate .. when he had lost .. when his life was totally shattered ...

The bruised heard bled a little more .. when he turned around to look he found her next to him .. but this time the distance was to big for him to cover ...

The Showdown ...

This was the state of Raman & Ishita ..that night .. one was celebrating winning .. winning her man .. one was celebrating loosing .. loosing his woman..

The woman sits on the chair facing the stage .. facing her future .. basking in the love .. basking in the glory .. basking in the times to come .. basking in the togetherness ...

He sits facing the crowd .. a distance away from all he knew & loved .. his success which he thought would be a balm to his soul .. today felt hollow .. cause even when he reached the top .. he stood there alone ...

Yes his life was an inspiration ... who celebrated & was awarded on being the looser .. tonite he did ...

He sits facing his destiny .. Ishita ... & there in the backdrop somewhere Shagun ... one sitting with Ashok one sitting with Mani .. & he stood there all alone .. yea the man with the mike had said he won that day ... ironical how it looked like the biggest loss to him ...

This was the man who took the mike ... this is the man who walked up to talk about success & the price of it ... someone had rightly said .. when u reach the top .. u realize ur alone ...

Tonight yet again the maker conveyed so much with just the clothes that the 3 people were wearing ...

Ishita in White & gold .. her glitter was in her purity .. her glitter was in her love .. there was only a hint of gold in the pure as snow white sari that ishita wore ...

Shagun in Black & Gold .. her glitter was blinding .. the glitter tried to hide the darkness ... her glitter tried to mask the dark as night soul ...

RAMAN ... was in White & darkish blue ... he was white showing his purity .. but there was a darkness to him as well .. but that darkness had the hint of lightness hence was blue . not black ... it could be dark .. or it could be the blue expanse of a sky or as deep as an ocean ...

A shattered man stands & faces a congregation out here to celebrate his success ... but the loser that he was .. stood facing his loss ... so instead of talking about victory .. he spoke about LOSS .. in the only way ACCEPTABLE during a celebration .. he made a celebration of his LOSS ...

His first lines are .. dreams get broken .. yes his dream had been broken .. not once but twice .. both times this man wanted only one thing .. a family he loved & who loved him .. but both times the woman .. chose more than him .. yes their motives were different ..

Shagun chose Ashok for power & money

Ishita chose raman's success over his feelings ... confused ... well yes she did .. she chose success for Raman & disregarded his feelings .. his feelings of distaste of the amount of time she associated with MANI .. she took help of a man who Raman despised ..& she did this all clandestinely ..did she ask him even once was SUCCESS IMPORTANT ...was HER LOVE important .. no she took the matters out of his hands .. Similar to how Shagun took matters out of his hands .. did she make Raman successful did she urge him to succeed nope she moved on ...

Yes Ishita's intentions were pure ... Shagun s were wrong ... but both of them disregarded the one thing Raman wanted .. LOVE ... this was always the man who stood next to Ashok & said .. I value my family over any award .. both the women in his life .. DID NOT GET THIS ABOUT HIM ...

YES he celebrated his loss on that platform that night ...

He stood on the platform & said ... Behind every successful man there is a woman .. & behind my success there is a woman as well .. MY WIFE .. pause MY EXWIFE .. SHAGUN ARORA ...

This man had just this morning stood in front of the mirror & said ... I will not leave ASHOK , MANI OR ISHITA .. & today he ticked the box on two of those people ..

Lets pause for a moment did he mention .. SHAGUN ARORA .. he never calls her Shagun Arora ... but tonite he did not want anyone to doubt who he was talking about .. there could be no misinterpretation .. he was talking about .. SHAGUN ARORA .. Mr. ASHOK KHANNA's fianc ... he very smartly & clearly .. highlighted ... the woman ASHOK KHANNA Was carrying on his arms ... HE WAS THERE FIRST .. he rubbed ASHOK KHANNA's nose .. U R A LOSER .. U R SECOND ... I was the FIRST ...

In case people dint get it .. HE pointed out to her .. & showed her sitting there with ASHOK KHANNA ... & then asked every one to clap for her ... another master piece by RAMAN KUMAR BHALLA .. businessman extraordinaire ... he categorically INSULTED The TRIO sitting there ... he .. celebrated their duplicity .. he highlighted their culpability .. he highlighted their infidelity ... he did all this with a clap on his hands .. & the congregation clapped with him .. each clap sounded like a million slaps ... in a gathering of businessmen .. he showed them clearly who was the CHEAT .. Who was not to be TRUSTED ... Raman Kumar Bhalla .. WON over his past that night ...

Stroke of amazing genius .. take the battle right to the doorstep of ur enemy ... rub their cheating & culpability in ... & what's more .. show them their PLACE .. The looser refused to loose tonite .. he wanted to WIN ... even while he lost his all

Is it any wonder only a few days back he was commended by this team of amazing businessmen on his STRATEGY ACCUMEN ...

He spoke about Shagun .. he spoke about Infidelity .. he spoke about cheating .. he spoke about getting duped not once but twice ... he spoke about Shagun .. But he looked at ISHITA .. each word was directed at her .. while he celebrated winning over his past .. he looked at the loss of his dreams sitting right in front of him ... the one person who he thought would never lie or cheat . today she sat holding hands with another .. the woman who he had walked upto & asked only one thing .. WILL U HOLD MY HAND & PROMISE TO BE BY MY SIDE ...

Tonite from the time he came to the venue .. he was alone .. the promise to be by his side lay forgotten in her over zealousness to achieve success for him ... in her overzealousness to achieve what she thought he wanted ...

The question which raged in my mind .. how well did she know RAMAN KUMAR BHALLA.. would she only see Raavan or Ram .. or will she ever be able to see HAPPY as well ...

Then he spoke the words .. which defined this episode ... he said ...

I hope u will continue to support me ... because normally it happens .. when u have expectations from someone they normally leave you .. but that's not in my nature ... I will not leave you ...

GAME SET & MATCH .. no no not RAMAN ... but SONALI JAFFAR & RITU GOEL & RITU DEORA this scene this Misunderstanding .. this whole love story came a full circle on just one dialog ... to call this brilliant would be undermining the talent of the writers ... it was beyond those words ...

What is a Misunderstanding .. it is when 2 people do not have an understanding of what the other stands for ...

I have had numerous rounds of discussion on this forum on the word trust .. a lot of u have said this is about Raman & Ishita not trusting each other .. & I have argued that point & said its about these two not trusting themselves ... its about their insecurity ... & finally tonite the writer came out & spoke ..

What was this about .. the above dialogs ... it was about 2 people who have no clue about what the other person is all about .. look at how their low level of trust in themselves leads to a MISUNDERSTANDING ..

lets look at it from Raman's pov ... what's Raman's biggest problem .. he is insecure .. he has no trust on himself ... saying ... I WONT BE THE ONE WHO WILL LEAVE .. if u want out .. U NEED TO GO OUT .. I don't expect people to stay by me ... his words while defeatist .. had a hint of hope .. which was the reason he had that bracelet on his arms ... he asked for togetherness .. but he had no hope of getting it .. he was speaking to Ishita .. he was taking the battle to her doorstep firmly .. he who saw her sitting with Mani .. Mani whose hand covered her hand ... she sat on that table listening to her husbands speech with her hands in another man's ... he tells this woman .. I don't abandon .. if u want out .. u have to walk out

Lets look at Ishita's POV .. she heard success credit go to Shagun .. but what she also heard was ... I WILL NOT LEAVE .. even if u leave .. it takes her back .. he has not let go of his past .. even when his past has left him ... she thinks he is still holding on to his past ... today the tears on the pillow .. the drunken state .. all make sense to her .. yes he had achieved all he wanted to .. but according to her .. the one person for whom he had achieved this was NOT WITH HIM ...

What is Ishita's biggest problem .. she thinks she is half a woman .. someone unlovable & tonite she lost her love once again .. Shagun was the woman he loved .. Shagun was the woman who he could not leave .. even while he celebrated his success ... his only thot was Shagun

The story travelled another full circle tonite ... to come right where it started

Where he spoke about his insecurity .. she heard it as he was holding on to his past ... did these 2 not trust the other .. NAA they did not trust THEMSELVES .. they did not think .. LOVE WAS FOR THEM ...

Tonight was the first night of the MISUNDERSTANDING .. cause tonite the MU was complete ... they were firmly on 2 separate pages ...

What did the writer do tonite .. they took u back to the way this story started ... 2 people .. 2 broken souls .. hurt at the hands of love .. bruised & battered met ... the had no clue about the other .. they misunderstood each other ...they felt they had nothing in common with each other .. when the love of Ruhi joined them ... they realized they had common goals .. & that their lives were one ... just a few days into their marriage she tells him ... in our marriage there is love as well .. our love for Ruhi ... she had told him .. for a marriage .. love was the most important ingredient ...

Tonite the writer got u back to those 2 people ... both who believed the other did not love them .. they were In this marriage for their common love .. Ruhi ... but even then it was not true .. even now its not true .. they were in this together .. they were in this .. cause deep down even then when they did not know .. they were made for each other .. isiliye toh koi aur inke zindagi mein tik hi nahi saka ... & when two people are destined for each other ... Pyaar toh hona hi tha ...

ladies & gentlemen .. I give u the love story of 2 star crossed lovers ... will they meet HELL YA they will .. will they confess HELL YA they will ... but ... the 2 hearts which broke tonite ... will take time to patch up ... will a simple I love you suffice ... hmmm I think not ... the bruise needed a bigger balm .. the bruise needed a balm which absolved the problem of trusting themselves ...

Cause without trust in themselves ..they could never come out from behind the veils or the shadows ...

The BreakDown ...

She unraveled .. she broke a million pieces .. she was finished in one stroke .. all it took was one word .. SHAGUN .. & she was finished .. her heart lay shattered .. her love lay scattered .. her self .. she had no clue where she was ..

She tried to hide but the tears like any flowing water could not be stopped today .. today they had to flow .. today the emotions had to pour ..

She looked at her trusted friend .. who was berating Raman .. when she looked at him & said

Her love for him was pure .. it did not ask for any guarantees yes there were hopes .. but her love wanted him to be happy .. & Happy he was ... she took a deep breath & donned the veil she had left aside .. she took courage into her hands & repeated the familiar litany which she had spoken from day 1 .. Sirf Ruhi ke liye ..

Not able to hold herself in this place anymore . the mausoleum where her love was buried ... where her love was brutally murdered .. she ran out .. to find the one place where she did not need to hide ... the one place where she could show her love .. her one solace .. her work ... her worship .. her temple ...

But today the fates were truly conspiring against her .. even her temple of worship was closed for her .. she pushes her friend .. today there was only one solace for her .. her love .. but that love was brutally snatched from her .. she runs to her car .. & unravels ... it was over

When the words which run in her mind are .. SIRF RUHI KE LIYE .. yes this was what the relation was all about .. was it his fault that she had changed the status quo .. he was always clear .. he had never promised to love her .. he had never refuted his love for Shagun .. she wipes her tears .. vows to herself ... this time she would not break ... it was a sad day .. the love story before it started burned down in ashes ...

He sat with his trusted friend .. the one who never deserted him .. the one who listened to him & did not question back . the one who stood by him always .. His drink ... his trusted friend ..

when his eyes fall on the bracelet ... the dam bracelet .. the testament of his loss .. he wore the badge of loss in his arms .. his consolation prize he dint know if it was for the win ... or for the loss .. he snatches the bracelet & throws it away ... & drowns himself in his friend .. the tears which had run unchecked from her eyes finding their partner in his eyes ... his mind rushes back to all the moments they had spent .. the first time they met .. the way she stood upto him for ruhi .. the way she married him for RUHI ...

Yes it was about Ruhi ... she had only ever promised SIRF RUHI KE LIYE .. & she had not reneged on that promise .. he had changed the status quo ... he wanted more .. but he was unable to give more ... he realizes .. she was always true to her words ... she had given him the biggest gift .. his family & his RUHI ... he pauses ...

The word gift comes back to hit him ... this was a part of her .. which she had gifted him .. the only part of her he had ... so what if she dint love him .. her care was wrapped in that gift & he goes about finding the bracelet ... he realizes .. he had returned even the eye pack ... but this was the only thing he had which she had given him .. this was the only thing he had which was not .. SIRF RUHI KE LIYE .. this one was about HIM ... this gift was for Raman .. not for RUHI KE PAPA ... he manages to find the bracelet .. yes he recovered some part of his love at that moment .. the bruised heart found some solace .. he had atleast a part of her with him .. a part which she had willingly given him.. a part which no one could claim from him .. a part which was about just them ..

This post was about 2 star crossed lovers .. who walk the same path .. but are unaware. The party episode like the KC episode was a build up for the break down .. the second half of the MU .. while on KC the MU was about Raman this one was about Ishita ..

Today they both lie where they started off from ... SIRF RUHI KE LIYE .. was there any better way to remove this big barrier between them .. something which existed as a veil for over 9 months had to be given the respect of a track to be taken down .. KUDOS & A FIRM BOW DOWN TO THE WRITERS OF THE SHOW

I am not going to talk about the fire or the rest of the episode . the star crossed lovers deserve a post where atleast in the post no one intrudes .. THIS IS MY TRIBUTE TO THE LOVE STORY .. YHM ..

Good nite .. have no clue about the latter half of the post on todays episode .. have rambled in it .. but u know the drill when something touches me to this extent i loose coherence .. so please bear .. & will be around for any questions ...

Ruby let me start with reiterating just how astoundingly marvellous and awe-inspiring this post by you is!!! Truly, to say you are gifted would be an insult to the immense talent you have developed with your skills! Watching a show, reading a book, analysing other's words can all be done by many! But, like I have said more than a few times before, to interpret a piece of existing work and to bring out the hidden meaning of the spoken words and to do that - like THIS - in a convincing, gripping, spell binding, breathtaking keeping-the-essence-of-the-show-intact-without-futurepredicitions yet falling in love with the show all the more manner is TALENT EXTRAORDINAIRE!!👏👏👏

A BIG BIG bow down to you!!! Thank you for giving us the pleasure of reading this. I have absolutely no hopes or intentions of even trying to match what you've written but since you want me to, here I go with my thoughts!!😳

"Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears." -Rudyard Kipling, The Collected Works

So I was out for the weekend and missed the crucial Saturday episode! So obsessed was I, that while returning from our trip via road on Sunday night, I found myself frantically checking IF as soon as we entered the full signal area! My husband who has no interest/idea of any show I watch was perplexed and almost astonished a show could drive me so crazy! And there was the mistake he made! Cos the next 5 hours of our drive, all I spoke was about the show. Starting from the story, the characters, the actors, the forum and even these brilliant posts by you people he now knows every single aspect of YHM!!!

Reliving the show without watching it has its own advantages - it allows you to think back and reflect on things you may have ignored while getting absorbed in the visual aspects of a scene.. And I found myself pausing more than once to reflect on a few instances..

"In humans, the tragedy begins, not when there is misunderstanding about words, but when silence is not understood."

-Henry David Thoreau

There was a time when she heard a part of a phone conversation and misunderstood Raman to be more interested in his business than his daughter! (During Ruhi's toothache Raman's phonecall with Mihir). That was the beginning of her misconception of Raman.

There came a time much much later when he heard a part of a phone conversation and misunderstood Ishita to be in love with someone else! That was the beginning of his misconception of Ishita.

Ishita's biggest insecurity has been her inability to become a mother which led to her losing the most important person in her life! Raman's biggest insecurity has been his inability to receive love from the person he loves which led to him losing the most important person in his life! Ishita's yardstick of measuring Raman for a very long time has been how good/bad a father he is. Raman's yardstick of measuring Ishita for a very long time has been how good/bad she is at holding a family together! But now, those yardsticks have changed - Ishita knows Raman is a good father and cares for his daughter - what she wants to know now is whether he cares for HER? Raman knows Ishita can keep his family together and love his daughter - what he wants to know now is whether she can hold HIM together and love HIM?

"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love."

-Fyodor Dostoyevsky

There was a time when she hid from him a secret and lied repeatedly. He got angry then but didn't care enough to get hurt or hurt her in return. But a few days later, there also came a time when he could gauge her silence and understand something was troubling her but could never imagine that it could be as big as his own sister's husband trying to defame her modesty.

There was a time when he hid from her a secret and lied repeatedly. She got angry but also got hurt. She still stood against him for the truth! But a few days later, there also came a time when she knew and understood why he lied. She couldn't have ever suspected the reason to be as big as his 12 year old son being responsible for a near fatal accident.

Ishita and Raman have always kept secrets and quite often been confused about the motives of each other's actions but in the end when all veils have lifted, they have only ended up understanding the other a bit more.

"There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true."

-Unknown

It is often easy to see things as they appear. But appearances can be deceptive more often than not. All that glitters is not gold - Raman said. Strange, that he is unable to differentiate the fake from the real one himself. Through the past week, Raman has been fooled both ways. Not only did he believe what wasn't true - that Ishita could love someone else.. But he also refused to believe what is true - that he is capable of being loved and loved for what he is! But Ishita also has been fooled both ways. She believed what wasn't true - that Raman could be SO troubled about anything unrelated to himself and that he is still caught in his past.. But also refused to believe what is true - That his actions, words and even silence are screaming for her attention and LOVE!

Here are two people in STAR CROSSED LOVE - Raman and Ishita - so driven are they by their insecurities and misplaced trust in themselves and the other - that they refuse to emerge from behind their veils to face each other. They love each other so much that it hurts! They love each other so much that they hurt the other! They love each other so much that they can't trust themselves with it! They love each other so much that they can't trust each other with saying it! They love each other so much that they are willing to let go of their love for the others happiness! Ufff - the beauty and irony of it all!!!! Ishita loves him so much that all that matters is his happiness even if it means happiness by something/someone else. Raman loves her so much that all that matters is her happiness even if it means happiness by something/someone else.. I don't know but while writing now, I could only recollect this sher I heard recently from a friend..

Shiddat-e-Dil Ka Aalam Toh Dekhiye,

Kya Dikhe Sitaare Zaraa Chand Toh Dekhiye

Sukoon - E - Zindagi Mein Na Mila Kabhi,

Ishq Kya Karte Zaraa Aashik Ko Dekhiye

Raasto Se Saamna Na Hua "Masroor"

Kya Milte Apne Zaraa Musafir Ko Dekhiye

Yun Woh Zamaana Behad Rangeen Tha,

Kya Dikhte Nazaare Zaraa Chehre Ko Dekhiye

Khayaal Toh Uska Har Waqt Aata Raha Kareeb,

Khwaab Kya Dhundte Zaraa Haqiqat Ko Dekhiye

Zubaan Se Sach Ikrar Hota Kyun Nahin,

Kaha Milti Wafaa Zaraa Bewafaa Ko Dekhiye...

Now, is when the journey gets intense. They have run away from their feelings for long, they have finally fallen in love with each other, they have confessed to themselves, they have misunderstood each and they have hurt each other. Now nothing more can be done. Now they will have to FACE each other. The one thing they have been running away from.. And WHAT a moment that will be. They will shout, scream, yell, cry, blame et al but in the end they will wipe each other's tears, they will heal each other's wounds, they will secure each other's insecurities and they will confess to each other their feelings!!! THEY WILL FINALLY BECOME ONE and they will know it!!!!! Sit tight guys cos it's the most exciting phase of the roller-coaster ride..

Will end now with a simple Shakespeare quote

"True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. "

-William Shakespeare

Thank you for the patient reading!

Much love

Bhuvana

PS: Thanks to google for a couple of these quotes.. Rest from memory but credit given :)

Kise poochu..

Hai aisa kyu?

Bejubaan saa ye jahaan hai

A woman in love finds the man who holds her heart lost, he is sinking, he is drowning, losing himself in an abyss - right before her eyes. She can see it all, she sees his pain, his misery, his anger...only she does not see the reason why all of it is happening; she cannot understand why is he there. She wants answers but she does not know who to ask them for she knows only one person and one person alone can answer her. Why is he crying alone at nights why is he so angry all the time, why did he need to drown himself again in that place he vowed to her he would never return; and she knows lest she ask he won't answer her. She is seeking the answers to her questions that lay within them. she need not look far for those answers they are all in front of her, all she needs to do is - look in his eyes, look at her mirror and she would see - he is crying for her, he is mourning the loss of something he thought had barely began...he is mourning them.

He wants answers as well to his questions - is he really so unlovable, is this how he is always meant to end? How could she, even she do this to him? Could she really do this to him? he wants his answers and they lie ironically within him - if he could trust himself enough he would have all his answers - by seeking his heart, by just voicing it to her what is bothering him.

Khushi ke pal

Kahaan dhoondu?

Benishaan sa waqt bhi yahaan hai

He had assumed he finally found bliss, nirvana when he found the one thing that eluded him in life - love. To him love is the most important thing in this world; it is the greatest joy there is - to give and to receive. He has given it forever, that is who he is, has forever been...only he didn't get it ever in return...in fact all that he gave - including himself - was ridiculed and rejected at the hands of a woman who felt - love may be something but it isn't everything. It doesn't feed you nor clothe you...it only is a momentary smile...is it any wonder they didn't work out? Nope. She aimed for the skies; he was content with what he had. She had ambitions and aspirations...he merely had love and dreams. When his love not only faced rejection - it was murdered and brutally at that- he vowed to lock his heart forever and thought throwing away the key would do the trick. He would be safe; he would be secure...only he never figured some locks could not stand the test of time. Some locks do not need keys at all to open...they just need a little shove, a little push and they give away.

He did not anticipate on that ever happening to him.

He never anticipated her.

She did that - with each move she made, she gave a little shove, a little push. The lock gave away and with that, the door was now ajar. When she cared for his daughter as if she were her own flesh and blood and gave her back to him...she made the first dent. When each time she helped him, saved him she shoved.

With each smile, each laughter that was hers, that she brought in his life...she could get the rusted hinges of the door left ajar to move.

When she cared for him and stood by him as he leaned on her, asked her to help him, be his strength the door was finally wide open and even before he could fathom what was happening - she was there, in that little chamber he thought no one would ever reach, no one could ever attain, no one would even look for let alone want it ..but she found her way to it and when she did...all he could know or understand was - she belonged there, like she was the one that was always awaited. She was the one meant to be his forever. Hence he spoke the words - no other people could every stay amidst us, could last long - how could they? They were not meant to be there at all. It was always her and him- them - that were to be the endgame; the beginning and end of everything.

He thought he had gained his happiness, his forever with her...only the tides changed or the fates - as he thinks. He thought once again the joke was on him and it was crueler this time. It was meaner this time - no one deserves this even once and here he was again there - for a second time - a reject, a discard.

He had set out to make it big, to make it to the top of the world six years ago...he had thought that reaching the zenith would be the biggest achievement of his life, he had presumed he would mock those who once laughed at him and that would be enough for him then, only now it didn't matter. Nothing could matter.

How could it?

His heart was beating again, worse it was bleeding again and the one who resuscitated him was the reason that made him wonder if he even wanted to be alive anymore.

The happiness that he set out for years ago was at his feet but to him it was nothing.

Jaane kitne labon pe gile hain

Zindagi se kayi faasle hain

He took on the spotlight and spoke his heart out for the world to hear.

She lashed out at anyone who crossed her path - stung by his words she did not care who came her way tonight...she wanted to lessen the pain she felt - she wanted to unload.

He spoke of betrayal and abandonment, of deception and illusions, of truth and lies.

She cried her heart out, yelled and questioned herself as she broke down and recalled no promises were broken, none were made after all...she spoke about resolution.

He took the refuge of the one thing he thought would be his partner for life - he sought to drown his sorrows even as his eyes finally shed the tears he vowed he would not shed. He thought of her and realized - she is not to blame if this is happening. He too is to blame. He admitted he never gave her what she deserved - what he knew he should have given to her; instead, she always drew the short end of the stick. How long was she supposed to make do with that? and even then he has gained - from her..she gave him his daughter back, she made his house a home...she gave him something of hers of her own free will tonight to cherish too...only he was too angry to realize it and threw it away only to chase it later.

He has realized he cannot have her in his life in the way he wants her so if this is the only piece of hers that he can have - he cannot lose that. She is distant from him in every which way there is - then so be it, he would hold onto the one piece of hers that was his and shall forever be his.

She sought refuge in the sanctity of her privacy outside her shrine in a car and broke down. She reminded herself no more expectations, nothing was to be seeked from now on from him. She gave it her all tonight and she ended up with nothing when in actuality she ended up precisely with what she asked of him the other night when he was at rest. She had asked him to give her all his pains...tonight he did just that and her heart tore into a million little pieces as that happened and she said - I became Raman Kumar Bhalla today.

He found himself holding onto the one piece of hers he could. She found herself molding into his mould.

They seeked each other and found each other - one in an inanimate object and the other in pain and heartache - yet they remained distant, in fact the chasm between them just yawned wider tonight.

Paseejte hai sapne kyun aankhon mein

Lakeere jab chhoote inn haathon se yun bewajah

He had set off on a journey with one hope - one dream in his mind, one goal alone - to conquer the world.

Tonight he did that yet again, he conquered and shone in white among the elite...only from where he stood none of that mattered anymore.

As he stood there today, all he felt was hollow. He realized he could change his appearance but not the man he is. He could change his status but not his desires. He could win the world but not the heart of the woman he fell in love with.

He could win against the world but not against his destiny. He could have everything else in this world but the dream he desired the most - the thing that reflects the wishes of the REAL Raman Kumar Bhalla.

He realized he could succeed in all walks of life - except the one where he wanted success the most - LOVE. It just wasn't in his destiny to have this dream materialize.

She dreamed to watch him at the apex of the world, not only because she thought he wanted it and deserved it, but also because to her he is deserves everything there is in this world. they say love is selfless, love is selfish too - and in this case both the sentiments stand correct. Her love was selfless enough that for his sake she ended up ignoring him unwittingly hurting him in the process and her love was selfish enough that she wanted to hear the thundering applause for him, knowing his success is for everyone to laud...but he is hers. That was her prize in all of this - him...she did not long for much - not appreciation, nor felicitation from his end...she just wanted the recognition - that he is hers and she is his thereby from him, the one thing that eluded her when he spoke a name that wasn't hers when he stood on that platform.

Her dreams were shattered the one she started to see because her heart longed for something that she thought was not meant to be hers - love, all because of him.

It was just a couple of days back she had had the initials of their names tattooed on the palms of her hands and had lovingly gazed at them - she had felt this is how things were meant to be always - they were meant to be - their names were always meant to unite. He was her destiny as she was his.

Tonight she questioned and wondered when her heart broke and concluded - he may be written in her destiny as she is in his, but her name isn't written on his heart while his has been etched across her veins, her very being...unaware of the truth that he belongs to her just as much as she belongs to him.

Jo bheji thi dua

Woh jaake aasmaan se yun takra gayi

Ki aa gayi hai laut ke sadaa

Ki aa gayi hai laut ke sadaa

Tonight they both cried - for each other and themselves - for what they considered they lost out on even before they truly could have had it in the first place.

Tonight they felt it was foolish of them to expect from each other more than they were promised in the first place, more than they bargained for when they set out for as they began this journey together.

Their minds reasoned and their tears stopped.

But their hearts still bleed as with each other they had dared do imagine something that they had given up on long before; with each other, because of each other though they found the courage to hope for more . They prayed that this time... their dreams not turn to ashes in their hands but alas, their prayers went unanswered - or so they think.

Saanson ne kahaan rukh mod liya

Koi raah nazar mein naa aaye

Their home burnt down tonight - on two levels - literally at that on both counts. She wept - privately once and openly the other time as she saw the place blazing; and he hid his tears from everyone in the open but in secrecy he had cried himself out tonight.

They felt suffocated tonight - they felt choked up because they had done something unimaginable when they came together - they LIVED. Tonight as they saw their world going down in ashes all they could do was be helpless spectators - bystanders...there was nothing that could be done...not until the fire was put out.

From here on, they do not know how to go on about, move ahead - without each other but even with each other, to hurt to hold on, too much in love to let go.

Dhadkan ne kahaan dil chhod diya

Kahaan chhode in jismon ne saaye

However, they cannot desert each other. they may not get what they seek...but they cannot let go. Love isn't what they promised each other, love isn't what they can have from each other but they made a promise alright - the one that got them together, the one that binds them forever with each other.

Finding a place in each other' heart might have been a failure, but they are a fixture now in each other' lives. The heart may have been crushed and deserted, rejected but they shall not ever walk away from the other - if all they can be, can have of each other are shadows - then so be it. They decided just as shadows never desert you neither would they abandon each other - and just as shadows are silent - so would they be as well when it comes to what they actually feel.

Yehi baar baar sochta hoon tanha main yahaan

Mere saath-saath chal raha hai yaadon ka dhuaan

He finds himself all alone once again - from where his journey with her began. Today his mind is clouded though - by memories, by his past - the memories he has of her and a past - of the life he had before her - that eclipses his life even now, that rules over his judgement, his thinking and his very existence even now etched deeply into the very fiber of his being.

He has to move out of this haze, clear his head and vision to find himself clearly...as only when he would be able to do that, would he be able to find her. She who is looking for him as well, who is seeking him out just as much...and once that happens they would find, learn...his dua, her dua - their dua has already been fulfilled.

Their dua was fulfilled the day they found each other.

This post of your' Ruby just touched a chord with me coupled with the writing, the performances and I couldnt help but recall the song that became the theme of my post. I was initally torn between this one and another - Tune Jo Na Kaha from New York but felt this was more apt..since it reflects the angst, the pain they BOTH feel rather than just one.

Am embedding a video of a cover of this song - cover because I find this one even more brillaint than the original I am absolutely in love with..if possible listen to it as you read my post...it just might help you connect more.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGErfAmSK9I[/YOUTUBE]

Fabulous post Ruby... My take on the same...

Everyone says love hurts...
But thats not true...!
LONELINESS HURTS...
REJECTION HURTS...
LOSING SOMEONE HURTS...
ENVY HURTS...
Everyone gets these things...confused with love
But in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pains and hurts...
and makes someone feel wonderful again...!
Love if its TRUE and REAL CAN 'NEVER HURT'...

Raman Kumar Bhalla has journeyed through the first line in the above mentioned quote... Among that huge crowd which was looking upon this man for he was, this man was silently shedding tears for what he was not... He saw himself as a man who was not capable of being loved by his soulmate... He was all alone... He was hurt...

When people around him accepted him as Asia's business head, he was sulking in the corner of his heart for that rejection that he had to face again... He got hurt...

When delegates spoke about all that he has gained in these 6 months and the heights to which he rose in these 6 months, he was engulfed by his worst fear of losing his rejuvenated life within a short span of 6 months... His soul got hurt...

When his family beamed with content on getting such a son, brother, brother-in-law, he envied his inability on becoming the man whom his wife loves... He emerged again...Nerdy Raman and his hurt soul...

Without his specs, his vision got blurred... He confused these feelings with his love for his wife... He convinced himself that love hurts... He decided to go back to his shell to let alpha male deal with this heartbreak... But, this poor soul needs to sail through the other lines to know that love can never hurt...

If Raman's state of mind can rip your heart, Ishita was nowhere less...

"Love is when you shed a tear and still want him,
it's when he ignores you and you still love him,
it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you,
when all you really do is cry."...!

Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla was in love. She was in love with her Raavan Kumar. ISHITA's love has always been pure, unconditional and undemanding... But, today, she was Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla...in a true sense... His better half who faltered at places, who is unable to figure out the mistake that she has committed but who's crazily in love...

Ishita's love which was as pure as a driven snow bit the dust...because of Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla's lie... She lied to her husband. Unknowingly, she played with his feelings... Few lines for Ishita...

"Never play with the feelings of others!
Because, you may win the game!
But, The risk is that you 'll surely loose the person for lifetime..."

She won this game... Her husband got the greatest honour but at the cost of losing the trust factor that was present between them. This is the second time that she's taking matters into her hand. First instance was when Raman sacrificed his presidentship for her license... Didn't Raman give her a clear message even after hiding behind their veil... You are the most prestigious trophy i have ever had... Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla failed to notice the same...

Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla drew a line to limit Ishita's unconditional love by drawing the "Ruhi ke liye" veil between them...once again. Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla demanded respect, expected to be acknowledged as Raman's wife against that Ishita who has always wanted to a low profile in each and every party...

But, her love outshone other flaws... Be it Ishita or Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla, at the end of the day, all that she wished was Raman's happiness...

When Ishita was busy entering into the shoes of Raman Kumar Bhalla, Raman Kumar Bhalla became Ishita for a few minutes during that monologue.

I bow my head before the sheer brilliance of writers who managed to hit the bull's eye after that uncalled disaster.

That's all. Forgive me for my mistakes that I have committed. For all other broken souls in the forum, this is for you...

When you believe someone deeply, Misunderstanding arises,
but don't feel for it ,
Because Some Misunderstandings are needed 4 good understanding...
This is life's secret...

PS: Thanks to Google for those lovely quotes...

Two people met for a reason, got married citing a reason but fell in love without any.

They started a journey together - understanding each other better, standing together during all their difficulties, sorting each other's problems, fulfilling the others wishes, making the other happy.

Both who were rejected and were lonely in life - felt they had found a place at last. Found a chance to be loved.

She came running in panic on hearing about his accident. She hugged him tight on seeing him hurt, yet safe. She showed what he meant to her.

He had a kept a fast for her- an indirect confession of his love. Her importance in his life.

Yet things went wrong..They understood what the other didn't tell, but did they understand what the other really wanted?

That day she came to know of the games that were being played with her husband's prestige. For her, his happiness was the most important thing in life.

She knew him enough to know that he would sacrifice the position for the family and his loved ones, like he did before

But she wanted to protect him.

She took her friend's help, met him secretly to plan. But unwittingly she made one huge mistake. She LIED. More than once.

Lies that cost them more than the gain they provided.

She ensured his position and prestige was intact. But his heart? She reopened all the wounds that the past had give him

In a bid to give him happiness, she overlooked where his happiness exactly lay.

With her. In her hands. In her strength. In her love.

She thought this will bring them closer; only to be distanced far apart. By her own doing.

He found out she was lying. Having clandestine meetings with Mani. He was scared, unsure of what was she doing and why?

His ex rubbed it in that he was not worthy of having anyone in his life. Not worthy of love. She stoke up his deepest fear, his insecurity.

He wanted to talk to her and get his doubts clarified once and for all.

He heard her say the words I love you, you are my Saviour, my HERO. The very words he wanted to hear from her.

He had told her one day she will tell him what her heart says.

But alas, she was saying it to someone else, in someone else's arms.

He was heartbroken again. Shattered once again.

He misunderstood she preferred someone else to him.

He stepped backwards, the steps that he had taken forward with her in love.

He found solace in a bar. Drunk and lost. Yet his heart told him, she loves Ruhi, his family. It was only him that she did not love.

He concluded that he was unlovable. He felt alone once again.

koi ye kaise bataaye ke, wo tanahaa kyon hai
wo jo apna tha wahee, aur kisi ka kyon hai
yahi duniyaan hain to phir, aisi ye duniya kyon hai
yahee hota hain to aakhir, yahee hota kyon hai?

Misunderstanding loomed large between them. She didn't realize. He didn't confirm

Mihir brought the news of the party kept in his honor. She was excited for him. She asked him what do I wear as the Head of the Guild's Wife

Would he have felt better if she had told -his wife- instead? She thought she was giving him the respect he deserved. He thought maybe the position cheered her. A position he got because he was recommended by her friend.

The misunderstanding increased. He erupted. She didn't know why.

He left alone without her. She was hurt, and still she didn't know why.

She dressed up for him, hoping he would appreciate, like he did before.

She entered the party, her eyes searching only for him, his back to her.

When he felt she was near, he turned, but his vision was marred by the man standing next to her in a conversation so deep that it seemed more important to her than him.

She saw him in white. Thought he was peaceful and happy. She didn't see his blues. The color of his deeply wounded heart wrapped tight by his hurt. A color that lives in the past, relating everything in the present and the future to experiences in the past.

She gifted him the bracelet, which he had thrown away earlier. Her gift of love. She had promised that she wouldn't abandon him. Ever. She tied the bracelet on his wrist - showing it. Proving her bond with him

But he only saw the glitter. Like the glitter on her sari. He didn't notice how pure she was under the glitter.

He took center stage to speak about his success. Yet he spoke about his loss. His being rejected twice. His being cheated twice.

He credited his ex for his success, his eyes on his ex, but his mind taunting and hinting his wife to understand.

She heard everything. But understood and remembered only one thing. Shagun Arora. A person more important to him than her.

His past was still between them and she would never be what she desired to be in his life.

Then why did she get a hope of being loved? Why did she feel desired? Her heart broke into a million pieces that night

She sat there feeling alone.

dil-e-barbaad se niklaa nahin, ab tak koi
ik loote ghar pe diyaa karata hai, dastak koi
aas jo toot gayee;phir se; bandhaataa kyon hai?

She heard his mothers doubt that something was troubling him. His pillow was wet with tears.

She didn't know why. She didn't understand that she was the reason behind it

She cradled his head in her hands that night. With love. She told him - Apna saare dard mujhe de do..Share with me. Tell me how you feel.

Its said that if you really ask something with all your heart and with the best intentions, God blesses you with it. And He did.

The heart break that he had a day before, she had it today.

The hopelessness and the feeling of loneliness that he had felt a day before, she felt it today

The feeling of being a reject, an unlovable - she felt it today

She underwent every emotion of his, just as she had asked.

The hearts were entwined yet there was a distance.

ik zara haath badha de to, pakad le daman
uske seene mein sama jaaye, humari dhadkan
itni kurbat hain to phir, faaslaa itnaa kyon hai?

She ran outside, screamed at every person whom she spoke to, preferred darkness to light and wanted to be left Alone.

At that moment she was Raman Bhalla. The hot headed one. A raging bull, hurting everyone in anger.

She decided she would maintain the status quo.. they were married only for Ruhi. Not to expect anything else in that relationship other than being Ruhi's parents

He sat with a drink, thinking about the moment when they first spoke and reminiscing all the love that she had for their daughter, for his family.

Reminding himself that she was in his life because of his daughter. Their daughter.

Chided himself for speaking to her like that. And quietly came to a misconclusion that she loved his daughter, his family. It was he who was a problem. He too would let that relationship be as is. No expectations.

He searched for the bracelet that he had thrown away; a bracelet which he said was of no emotional value. The price couldn't be evaluated. It was priceless.

That bracelet was his. He wanted to be tied to her. Even if it was through Ruhi. It was enough for him at that moment to not lose her.

That moment he was Ishita Bhalla. A person who considered every aspect before reacting. A person who would find fault with self before finding it in others.

The greatest irony of their love!

They want to be away from the other, but they didn't even know how much they had imbibed the other, in their heart and in their soul.

Can love be truer than this?

Both are shattered. Lost in their own rejection and loneliness. Both unable to understand what changed and why it changed.

tum masarrat ka kaho ya, ise gam ka rishta
kahete hain, pyaar ka rishta hain janam kaa rishta
hai janam kaa jo ye rishta to, badalata kyon hai?

If only for a moment they could swap their places and feel the other's hurt, they would have understood.

Both are together yet far apart and now the greatest distance between these two hearts is misunderstanding.

Both felt lonely and rejected.

And the reason for it is not Mani, Ashok or Shagun. Its themselves.

They trust each other yet they don't trust themselves. Trust themselves that they can be loved..

If only they would give themselves a chance to disprove it..accept that they can be loved.

This is the first time I'm actually penning something as analysis Ruby, you are completely free to tell me where I went wrong as I take you as the teacher of analysis here.😆

This is about the man who on the first glance shows you that Marriages are made to be broken. He had it ingrained in his mind, his heart. But then let us look at this this way.

-His past-

He was a man very much in love and had the purest and most generous heart. Until there was trouble in his paradise, he was shown as a fool. A fool who was made believe that he could not and had nothing to offer to make his wife happy, to bind her with him forever. That seed of belief was sowed so so deep inside his heart that no matter how much he tried, it reaped into a plant of sheer power, bitterness, and then distrust, and insecurity which he hide behind the veil of hostility.

Power-, a weapon, a shield to use as the driving force for revenge. To prove others? No to prove himself, that he CAN and IS capable of gaining everything he lacked - and was rejected for. Bitterness - for women who cheat, but then also for women who unknowingly try to weaken this plant (we'll come to that) , and for anything that reminds him of his past. Distrust and insecurity - of himself, of his old self (Happy Bhalla )

We've seen Raman crying at night, alone. As I said, he doesn't have it in him to handle any, even small, heartbreak - another rejection. Now when we are hurt or disappointed, don't we simply cut off from them, we grow bitter and indifferent - in front of them. But in reality, don't we just tear it all out once we cannot hold it anymore.. don't we sit and start thinking about everything that went wrong in our life and blame ourselves. That's the case here. He puts his wall but at the same time he goes a level down. He believes himself incable of giving out any happiness to other, he believes HE isn't worth loving. He has a low self-esteem post the betrayal of Shagun. Because he did give everything he had to her, to his family. As Mihir said, he could be of limited means, but out of the limited, he gave the maximum to her, her family and his family. Now for a man who gives out ALL HE HAS to someone but receives back a feeling of dissatisfaction, what will his conclusion be? That she was wrong and cheated on me? Nope. His conclusion is rather - I failed.. I was the one who had a lacuna... So he set out to prove himself- that he can be .

-A little forward-

Did the power, the success burn his insecurity? No. No power, no success, not enough praise can actually build a zero self esteem to a tower of self confidence, not even in 6 years. That, was and IS how deep his strong root of belief reached in his heart. You see a man who tolerates no nonsense in business, cannot withstand weakness, cannot allow a reason to laugh enter his mind. Why? He doesn't have it in him anymore to get carried away by emotion. That's his way of blocking himself (his emotional side/Happy), from others and above all from his real self- the nerd + the ALPHA which he made himself into post a heartbreak. Believe it or not, a person has two sides... one which he is when he is confined to his own lonely self, and one which he shows to his family, friends. We won't talk about the one he is for strangers right now.

As confusing this can be, Happy Bhalla is the one who loved with his heart and soul but got a solid punch from his own wife on his heart. That was enough to hide Happy Bhalla somewhere really deep,and bring out Raman Kumar Bhalla. The RKB who has a successful business going on, can use his authority anywhere, with anyone- almost. At first meeting, or after many more, anyone would feel RKB is an arrogant, powerful and rude person.

But in reality is RKB really powerful, arrogant and rude? No, but that's what he wants everyone to believe, that's what he choose to SHOW, but only to guard himself, his HB side. That's his defense mechanism.

But then come this woman who challenges not one but all his theories- Ishita. Ishita is another broken lady - incomplete. She comes and shows him what Happy knew- not all women are gold diggers... not all women cheat... money from all the world doesn't solve everything, but a little love and time can.

And his plant almost withered. His bitterness subsided, He falls in love, with her. But did his insecurity die? Did he start to trust himself? He trusted HER, no doubt there. But not himself. He still believes he isn't worth loving, that HE has something missing.

-Present-

As soon as Ishita tells him Mani is a HE and not a SHE, he is surprised. Now now, let's have a flashback. He spies on her, and goes to see who Mani is. Now of course, he didn't go there to catch her red-handed with her friend, or he wouldn't expect them to be lovey dovey there right? So why does he actually go there- To COMPARE himself with her friend. He looks at his reflection - his past - his other self. Now a CEO, rich and handsome needs confirmation that he is handsome and girls can fall for him ?! Yes.. He wants to tell HIMSELF that he does have something. A man needs affirmation on himself only when he doubts himself, when he thinks the opposite and wants to be contradicted.

Now that the seed is sowed again, and he sees his wife (again, someone close to his heart) lying on his face, hiding things from him. He sees history repeating. That despite giving his everything he is unable to make someone happy, love him. Again someone,- this time the lady who he thinks he couldn't please- tells him on his face- No one can stick by your side, you are not worth it. He faces rejection again. Now he resorts to his second veil- Sirf Ruhi ke liye. Why?

One he knows this was the reason he can keep her and his feelings away from him despite being in the same house. Second, he cannot leave her, and he won't be able to trust himself not to give out his feelings by his face, by his words. He knows once he confronts her, she will leave... didn't he see that when he was drunk. He avoids his worst fear from coming true by avoiding her. Did we see them (IshRa) alone after him witnessing the -ilu, hero fiasco- ? He used the darkness, his senseless state, his anger, his family and the crowd, only for one reason- to avoid her, to avoid being stated that HE is a failure.

His monologue yesterday and today showed his fear. He says I won't leave you, it's not my fitrat... He reflects on his actions and says what would happen if you would talk to her alone, he confronts himself. That he broke his home this way too. But he never says that SHE cheated, he says why would she not leave him, he always scolded her. AGAIN, he pin points his mistakes and where HE went wrong.

And I shall write more and on Ishita tomorrow. Too drunk with sleep and tiredness right now 🤢