FF : Tere Mere Darmiyaan LAST PART pg-87 dt.10.10.14 - Page 64

Chapter 19

Nakusha ran down the stairs in search of him. She saw annay playing with his remote control car in the hall.

" annay, sahab ko dekha?"

" haan..thodi der pehle maamu bahar gaye the." He replied without taking his eyes off his toy car.

" kahan gaye hain?" she asked hurriedly. Annay's car banged against the pillar on hearing her question. He looked up and shot her a surprised look," woh kabhi bata kar jaate hain?" his answer made her sound silly, he was right. Her husband didn't have the habit of informing anyone of his whereabouts before leaving. She chewed on her lower lip in panic. He was so disturbed, in such a state, where could he go? Sprinting on her toes she rushed out of the house and saw kale standing at the gates. Perhaps he would know about him.

" sahab, kahan gaye hain kuch pata hai?" she asked while trying to catch her breath. He shook his head before answering," nahin kuch bataya nahin..bas gaadi nikali aur chale gaye." She twisted her face in disappointment. A part of her feared that he might have gone to that fighting ring to release his anger and anguish.

" kahin sahab phir gusse mein us jagah toh nahin chale gaye? ..tu mujhe wahan le kar chal..abhi." although he had promised not to harm himself and risk his life but still she didn't want to take any chances.

" vaheni , aap yahin ruko..main bhau ko lekar aata hoon." And hopped on to the jeep.

" nahin main bhi saath mein jayegi." She said in a firm tone, she couldn't stay back and wait for him to return, she had to go and look out for him.

" bhau ko nahin pasand aap aisi jagah jao..pichli baar woh mujhse bahut naraaz hue the ki main aapko wahan le gaya." He couldn't forget how his boss had blasted him for taking her to that bar and he was right. Such a place wasn't safe for women.

Before nakusha could argue he turned on the engine and assured her," vaheni aap chinta mat karo..main unhein doondh ke laoonga..unhein kuch nahin hone doonga."

Nakusha saw the jeep leaving the gates. She knew she could trust kaale and he would definitely find him but still she was restless. She couldn't afford to relax. What if as promised he didn't go there instead went somewhere else? Pressing her lips together she thought about it. Something crossed her mind and she left the house at once.

It was quite dark and deserted as she walked her way. The sky wasn't clear it was enveloped with dark clouds that rumbled loudly. The wind rustled up the trees. His old house wasn't that far but still it would take her another twenty minutes on foot to reach. The sound of the wind and the swaying of the trees that looked ghastly in the dark made the night eerie. The rumbling grew louder and louder and she felt a chill rise up by her spine, her throat tightened and her hair stood on end but she didn't stop and continued to stride. She had to find him. No matter what.

She heaved a heavy sigh in relief when she spotted his sedan at the gates. The lawn was empty, she furrowed her brows, then where was he? She approached the steps and found him right up, outside the door. Thank god, he was fine.

As she climbed up the stairs, she thought that today was probably one of the toughest days of his life, where the urge to draw blood and to inflict pain must have been the strongest but he didn't succumb to that urge. He didn't break his promise and that made her glad.

However when she reached the final step she saw the green bottle of alcohol in his hand. Leaning his head against the door he drowsily peered up at her. So she was there but..why?

Lowering herself she sat in front of him and leaned over to take the bottle from his hand but he jerked her hand aside and purposely took a long sip from the bottle.

" sahab aap yahan kya kar rahe ho...aur aapne toh kaha tha ki aap phir nahin peeyoge." She was disappointed and upset to see him again drowning himself in his sorrows. She tried to reach out for his bottle one more time but like before, this time too he pushed her hand away. Swaying his head to the left he knotted his brows in confusion. He had never promised her that he wouldn't drink again. Yes, that night on her insistence he didn't drink but that didn't mean he would never ever consume alcohol.

" maine aisa kuch nahin kaha tha." He straightened his head, looked right into her eyes and reminded her," haan tune zaroor kaha tha ki tu mujhe kabhi chod kar nahin jaayegi...toh phir kya hua?" She eyed him confusedly. His tone was accusing and hurt filled, she couldn't understand why was he saying all that, when did she leave him? in fact he left the house and came here without telling anyone.

He lowered his gaze and stared at his hand that she'd left then asked," meri tarah tujhe bhi mujhse nafrat hoti hai..kyunki main apni aayi ko maar daala." She closed her eyes in disbelief and shook her head in dismay. What happened that day was an accident. His mother was disturbed and in a state of shock. Any woman, any mother in her place would have been in that similar mental state. How else did he expect a mother to react who had remarried for her child's sake so that her child had a father in his life had ended up witnessing the same man sexually abusing her child? Her one decision had destroyed her son's life. As a mother she had failed to protect her child.

Opening her eyes she gazed at her husband who blamed himself for all his miseries and wondered, did he have any idea how terribly guilty her mother must have felt at that point of time for bringing a monster in her son's life who had ruined her son's childhood? Maybe not, or maybe he did but didn't wish to acknowledge.

" sahab, aisa nahin hai..aapne apni aayi ko nahin maara." She urged him softly.

He smirked and shook his head, he didn't believe her and moreover he didn't wish to have her sympathy. He picked up the bottle and took another swig. She pursed her lips in annoyance, this alcohol wasn't improving his situation. She moved forward to snatch the bottle from his hand, he shoved her hand away and while doing so the bottle slipped from his hand and shattered on the steps. Infuriated he leapt toward her. She shuddered and moved back in response.

He squeezed his eyes shut and cursed himself for intimidating her. He didn't intend to scare her, it was an impulsive reaction but still he deeply regretted it. He placed his hand on her knee and rolled his head up and glanced at her in a pleading gesture that told he was sorry. How could he forget that something similar had happened in her past and she was still struggling to overcome her fears. Clenching his jaws he thought that he was a very selfish man who cared only about his grief and insecurities.

She held his hand that was on her knee, took it in both her hands and pressed it firmly before saying," barso pehle job hi hua usmein aapki koi galti nahin thi..woh ek haadsa tha..isliye khudh ko dosh dena chod do..na aapka kasoor than a aayi ka..kasoor sirf us insaan ka tha jisne aapke saath woh sab kiya." It was high time that he stopped punishing himself for someone else's misdeeds. She wasn't sure whether it was an accident or suicide but definitely it wasn't a murder.

Dutta gazed at those broken glass pieces for a long minute and then slowly shifted his gaze to look at her.

" nakku, andhar se main in kaanch ke tukdon se bhi zyaada toota hua hoon."

His words pierced through her heart and tears pricked the corners of her eyes. She flinched on seeing him so lost, vulnerable and...broken. She gulped the lump formed inside her throat and moved closer. She took his face in her hands and held him in that position so that she could really look at him. He didn't waver with his eyes. He was a brave man, no matter how much he denied. Life sucked at times but he hung in and didn't shrink away. He was a survivor and not a victim!

" sahab , aap toot nahin sakte aur nakku aapko kabhi tootne bhi nahin degi." She stressed on and meant each and every word that left her mouth. He couldn't break down. She wouldn't ever let him breakdown.

He dropped his head on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist. She hugged him close and held him in silence for a long time. She turned her face slightly and peered at him, his drowsy eyes were drooping. He needed rest and sitting on the stairs was surely not the ideal place to relax. He was drunk and sleepy, definitely not in a position to drive back home, also out side the wind was blowing violently, the sky was still overcast with dark clouds. There were occasional thunder bolts and flashes of lightening. She made him lean against the door then retrieved the key hidden under one of the pots and unlocked the door. Thereafter with much difficulty she pulled him up on his feet. With his one arm hung around her neck she held him by his waist and carefully entered the house. It was dark and with his heavy weight on her she thought that they both might topple over. But thankfully, they made it to a small bedroom without falling. Dutta swayed and dropped flat on the bed. He murmured something inaudible in his sleep. Nakusha thought of getting him a blanket but the room was quite dark making it hard for her to see anything clearly. She pressed the light buttons but they weren't working. Letting out a deep sigh she went out to get some candles. She managed to find the candles in the kitchen. Lighting them she brought them to the room and fixed them on the bedside table. She turned around to fetch something warm for him when he grabbed her wrist and yanked her down on the bed. He placed his head on her lap and murmured with eyes shut," yahin reh." She looked down at him and brushed his hair with her fingers. She was glad that he was safe and didn't do anything stupid. But what a day for him, spent most of it in his sleep. First it was bhang and now alcohol. She pressed her head against the headboard and closed her eyes.

In the middle of the night, dutta woke up and peered up at his wife who was asleep. Her one hand which he held firmly, rested on his heart and the other one dropped on her side. Glancing up at her he wondered, why couldn't he imagine his life without her? Why he feared to lose her? In the evening when she left his hand why it hurt him so much? And most importantly why was it so essential for him to be accepted by her? Was he really that deeply in love with her? His lips stretched in a smile as he raised his hand to tuck a loose strand behind her ear that was falling on her eye. Yes, he was completely in love with her.

Nakusha's eyelids flickered at his touch. She slowly opened her eyes and found her husband gazing at her. She let out a soft smile and tried to move her hand back that he was holding. He gripped it tightly and didn't let it go. Her smile widened and she shook her head at his stubbornness.

" tu mere jaise insaan ko bardaasht kaise kar sakti hai?"

Taken aback by his question she knotted her eyebrows for a brief minute before relaxing and answering him," main aapko aapke har rang main apnaa sakti hai." She teasingly eyed his colorful kurta but that was not what she meant and he understood but was still confused as to how she could put up with a man like him?

" kyun?"

She slowly turned her face away and quietly gazed at the burning candles, contemplating whether to tell him or not. Inhaling deeply she turned to look down at him and felt the bubble of her emotion rise up strong. She stared down at him for some time before replying," kyunki nakku aapse bahut pyar karti hai." In the silence she could feel her heart beating rapidly inside her chest. His eyes stilled on her and the grip on her hand loosened. He sat up and peered into her green eyes while asking," abhi bhi?" Even after knowing how dark and ugly his past was and what all he was subjected to, she still loved him?

Her eyes welled up seeing the uncertainty in his eyes. Pressing her lips firmly to prevent herself from crying she silently nodded her head. Yes, despite of all that had happened with him, she couldn't stop herself from loving him.

Without blinking an eye he pulled her into his arms and buried his face in the crook of her neck. He was important for her. She loved and accepted him the way he was. The power in that knowledge was life changing for him. She wound her arms around his back and shut her eyes as he pulled her tighter against him.

" nakku, tu meri zindagi ka sabse khoobsurat rang hai." He whispered near her ear. A lone tear trickled from her closed eye lid. Pulling back away from her arms, he cupped her face in hands and kissed her forehead.

" tu hamesha mere saath..mere pass rahegi?"

She coiled her fingers around his wrist, glanced deeply into his dark pools and said" haan..main humesha aapke pass rahegi." He pressed his forehead against hers and breathed out in relief. He wished to absorb each and every word of hers.

He lowered her to the mattress. His heart hammered inside his chest as he stretched out beside her and took her back into his arms. She was apprehensive, he could see that in her eyes but she wasn't intimidated. He slowly kissed the fluttering pulse at the base of her throat. She shivered at his touch and let out an audible sigh. He lifted his head and glanced down at her and her parted lips. She brought her hand and palmed his face. He dropped his head and covered her lips with his. Outside the storm subsided and it began raining heavily. The candle flames flickered hard before dying out and the room fell into darkness as two battered souls became one. Their love and their union illuminated the darkest corners of their hearts.

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The curtains in the room were thin and sunlight woke her only a few minutes after dawn. She left the bed and leaned against a window. He was fast asleep and she spent the next few minutes gazing at him from a distance. Her cheeks turned crimson as her heart filled with love for her husband. He had completed her. The thought made her smile.

And then suddenly from nowhere his words resonated in her ears.

"jis din tu mujhe yahaan nazar aayi... Mere saath... woh din is rishte ka aakhri din hoga."

Her heart sank on remembering his words. She had promised that she would always be by his side and would never leave him. But what if he left her? What if he regretted the night they spent together and threw her out of his life? This marriage was her life, what if he chose to end it? What if as said, he snapped all ties with her? The fear of losing him scared the living daylights out of her. Tears stung her eyes at the mere thought of seeing regret in his eyes.

Dutta squinted his sleepy eyes and stared at the other side of his bed. It was empty. He raised his head slightly and found her standing near the window. He didn't know why but he was relieved to see her. However she looked at him in anticipation. She was scared and insecure. She had no clue as to what was running in his mind. He was just a few steps away from her. She had a strong urge to rush into his arms and dispel her fear and insecurity however she stopped. If he wanted her then he needed to walk over here and show her how he felt. It would kill her if he didn't. Everyone had to follow their heart. She had and now it was his turn. He lifted a foot forward and parts inside her thudded when he stopped. She turned her back to him and closed her eyes. His words continued to echo in her ears. God, would he really end their relationship?

All of a sudden she felt something cold around her neck. Opening her eyes she looked down, it was the same gold chain. And he was clasping it from behind. Relief swept over her. His one gesture chased away all her doubts. He wanted her. He still wanted her. In a moment she felt stupid for thinking like that. She turned around and peered at him. He watched her with warmth and tenderness. Since that night, the chain had always been with him. He got it fixed but could never sum up the courage to tie it around her neck. Last time when he had done the same on their wedding, it was out of reluctance and devoid of all kinds of emotions. But now it was different. He wanted to show that he truly treasured this relationship and that they would be together forever!

Epilogue

Dutta sipped on his steaming hot black coffee and browsed through the morning newspaper. Occasionally he peered over the newspaper to check whether annay finished his breakfast or not. Annay was taking his own sweet time to add extra butter to his parantha. Dutta threw a glance at his loosely hung wrist watch and said," jaldi kar..school ke liye der ho rahi hai." Yes, finally after a lot of convincing by his wife he had decided to put annay in the nearby school on the sole condition that only he or nakusha would pick and drop annay to school. The horrors of his past were still fresh in his mind and would probably always be. The world out there is not perfect, it has both good and bad to offer us and we need to accept it the way it is. It was important for annay to grow up like any other kid, where dutta's ugly past didn't cast a shadow on his present and future. Nakusha insisted that the fear of falling shouldn't stop one from walking. If one continued to look behind then one would be unable to move ahead. He understood all that yet struggled to accept it. Stepping out of his past wasn't easy for him, but he was trying. And for that he shifted his focus from himself to annay. He didn't want to strangle annay's happiness with his fears. However at the same time he couldn't afford to be carefree. The thought of protecting and safeguarding his nephew would always remain on his mind. Both dutta and nakusha wanted to see the child grow independent and strong enough to face the world.

Bringing up the issue of child abuse wasn't easy for nakusha. Such topics aren't comfortable to discuss but nevertheless she did discuss it with annay. It was important for him to be cautious and aware. He needed to differentiate between good and bad touch. Also if god forbid someday, someone said or did something that made him uncomfortable then instead of keeping it to himself, he should at once share it with his uncle or aunt. She instilled the faith in the boy that he could fearlessly come and tell them anything and everything. He wasn't alone and they would always be there for him.

Dutta folded the paper and kept it aside. Annay, hurriedly started stuffing the remaining paratha in his mouth on seeing his uncle finish reading the paper.

" araam se." he told annay, fearing that he would choke if he ate so quickly. Annay furrowed his brows and threw him a confused look from behind his glasses. What was he supposed to do, go fast or slow? He couldn't do both at the same time. Dutta simply shook his head.

Both uncle and nephew stood up to leave, they were in the driveway when dutta while pulling open the car door spotted his wife in the garden. Like every morning she was feeding the pigeons. She looked innocent and pure like a dewdrop. Dutta watched her in silence, what would his life been had he not married her. In these two years she had brought significant change in his world. It had definitely changed for the better. Although it was still not picture perfect as his nightmares continued to haunt him but...now they were less frequent. He no longer felt stifled or captivated by his past because he had her in his present and in his future. Instead of running away or pushing aside those bitter memories, now he preferred to accept and confront them. And he did that not by holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand. However it certainly didn't mean that he quit drinking and became a teetotaler. He drank once in a while, not to mourn over what he lost but to enjoy what he had. As far as holding himself responsible for his mother's death was concerned, he still had mixed feelings. His mind and nakusha constantly told him that he was completely innocent and not at fault. But somewhere in his heart he wished he could do something to change all that had happened. He wished that his mother was still alive.

He continued to glance at her and thought, it would be foolish to expect his wounds to heal overnight but they were certainly healing. And that was because she was nursing them with her unconditional love and support.

Annay ran to her shouting," maami" and instantly encircled his arms around her waist, then planted a soft kiss on her baby bump. How could he leave without bidding goodbye to his brother/sister? The corners of dutta's lips stretched in a smile and nakusha grinned down at annay, she lovingly pinched his button nose. Knowing about her pregnancy had been the most beautiful moment of her life. She always dreamt of having a home and a family of her own. And now on seeing her dream coming true, she was ecstatic. Lifting her lashes she met his intense gaze and blushed profusely. They reached the point where a single glance was filled with enough meaning to make words largely superfluous.

They were two people, damaged by life, who had somehow found in each other what they needed to heal their scars. And that was a miracle. There was no other word for it.

Thanks a lot for reading, liking and supporting this story.

Rose.

I love happy ending...dutta & naku on family way...I will repeat you don't give it easy to your readers...this time ladka tha ya ladki...anay ka bhai ya Behan😆

I have loved all your stories...its difficult to accept no UD...but I want give up pleading ...so do others ...start a new one soon...plzzz

rose for a rose