NEVER LET YOU GO.:
PART-21
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Randhir and sanyukta wore the most terrific expression on their faces.! What they read just then was something unexpected and unbelievable for them!
"sanyukta, relax, they survived!" randhir expressed confidence while he took the diary from her hands! "see, let's read,and i think you'll believe what i just said, then" he flipped the page.
...
6th may 2002
My mind stopped registering things almost, still i sensed someone helping me out and carrying me in their arms.. I heard people screaming and yelping around me.. It was just like a nightmare..
"niha.." i managed to mutter and as far as i could remember i heard people iterating "she's fine" and there after i completely lost my senses and i passed out. Couple of hours passed and i had no idea where i was, but there was tranquility prevailing there around. I tried to open my eyes but just couldn't i felt them so heavy...
"niha.." i managed to speak but my jaw line pained like hell, that my voice trailed off..
"vardhaan!.. Are you okay.." i felt a soft hand caressing my forehead. The voice was very low, low enough to identify...
"niha.." I mumbled trying hard to open my eyes.
"vartika" came the quivering voice.
"di! Niha..." i spoke up using the life of very last cell of my body
"she's fine vardhan! Just try to sleep, you are sedated! Don't get stressed out she said trying to make me stay calm But still the urge to see her never let me settle in peace, i tried to move my hands and legs but i couldn't even sense them, i gave up after few vain attempts when my body began to ache like hell.. and soon i was sedated again and so in matter of seconds, i slipped into kip.
8th may 2003
days passed after that night and the pain in my body began to ebb. I learnt that my left hand was fractured at 3 points and my left leg had undergone a tremendrous stress and was nearly broken,but still it was bandaged. Vartika was there, always, day and night by my side, my mom did visited me a couple of time, ofcourse my dad did too! even after seeing me at such condition, my dad didn't even care to come to me, he did visited me, but all the time he was just having a glance through the glass panned door!
Well, i never had issues with that cause niharika occupied the priority then!! How ever, vartika and my jiju never left me, not even for a second, i really owe a lot to my jiju, who came to my life just a year back, he just took care of me as if it had happened with his his own blood relation! Every now and then i kept on plying my jiju and vartika about niharika and they kept on iterating
"she's fine" all the time, but it doesn't seemed to be like that, if at all it's like that, she would had come to me at least for umpteen no.of times, ofcourse she never would had left me in such state! alone! I felt something unusual, as the days were rolling and i still hadn't had any account of hers! Most of the days were okay as i was sedated all the time for some medical reasons, but the nights turned the most worst nightmares for me! The sight of how our car hit the truck had never left my eyes! Day by day and minute by minute i was turning more restless, the urge to go to her, to see her was not letting me breathe at ease, after all it was only days back that she walked back to my life again!
3 days passed and she hadn't shown up yet! and her absence was scaring me, i don't even know what had happened to her! I just want to hear her, make sure that she's fine! That night, i was determined to do that! to call her home! Just that i could make sure she's fine!
It was around 12 am that vartika left home and my jiju came for night stay! But He soon fell asleep, and it's my time! I just made an attempt to sit on the bed on my own, and somehow i slowly got down the bed trying to stand, but as soon as my foot touched the floor i lost the control and collapsed down! I dragged the medicines tray on bed side table whilst trying to defend myself! With in fraction of seconds, i was on the floor with all the medicines scattered on the floor when the tray hit the floor with huge clang, and i screamed in pain. It made my jiju wake up with a jerk,
"vardhan, you okay! You need anything?" my jiju came running to me in panic.
"woh... Niharika..!" i managed to speak whilst he helped me to stand up!
"she's fine vardhan, safe at her home, see we can go to her tomarrow, and you just go to bed now" he was trying to convince but just then vartika barged into the room, inquiring about me! She too looked panicked,
"vartikaa??? You didn't go home??" i exclaimed, and the expression on her face changed.
"woh.. Nahein,... Mai..." she stammered, even jiju looked so jittery all of sudden! It made me feel some thing fishy
"what's wrong? What you are hiding from me?" i asked with a stern face
"hiding?? Why would we do that" they both stumbled on their words in unison!
"okay fine then, i'll find it on my own", i tried to stand up again but my jiju prevented me from doing so!
"vardhan stop being mad, just forget about her" vartika said making stern face,
"forget?? How could you say that di? What do you actually mean to say?" i narrowed my eyes, they both fell silent!! There was a strong redolance of something unusual!
"please speak out!" i ranted! But nothing came in response! Hence i just made a dart to move and tried to stand up! But in no time i was tottering, screaming in pain!
"vardhan!" i felt my jiju's arm round my hip and another arm taking my arm around his shoulder, "let me help you!" he made me walk silently out of the room, once in corridor, he began to walk me towards the other end!. My heart was pounding all the time and i kept my fingers crossed iterating "she's okay" to myself for zillionth time,. While vartika followed us in tears!
My jiju ushered me carefully to a room in the corner, at the far other end of the corridor.. The room was well furnished and highly equipped...
glass doors were fixed to entrance letting to peep in through.. The doors
had big bold letters of ICU written in red on it... The very first sight of it sent chills down my spine and sweat formed crease on my fore head as we approached the room... and Vartika opened the door for us making a low
rustling sound but it seemed like nothing disturbing the person in there..
I entered in and a redolence of medicens emanated, i wondered why my jiju took me there, don't he know that i am searching for my niharika..
"Jiju.." i muttered but he didn't pay any heed to my words, he just escorted me towards the bed where a girl in blue robes with half of her body bandaged was sleeping peacefully.
"Jiju.. Niharika kaha hai" i prodded him, he silently pointed towards the girl
on bed saying "she's your niharika" I felt The floor under my feet diverging an like falling into deep abyss.. The intuition about her safety, that i was in till then, was not accepting his words, my heart refused to believe what my eyes saw...
I took another forward step just to have a clear account of the vague appearance of her.! Her head was bandaged,. Her waist long hair had no more existed, her face had all the bruises of glass pieces piercing her milkish white skin... whole left side of hers, her hand and leg were bandaged, and the oxygen mask tied around her head, and the needles pierced all over her hand,...! nothing seemed lively she was surrounded with loads of medical equipments, beeping restlessly,.. and some tubes running directly into her nostrils and mouth, her neck was collared..! She's neither moving nor opening her eyes!
Tears instantly rolled down my eyes on seeing her! I just couldn't belive my eyes! I felt a strong shudder in my spine! I couldn't see her in such state, however when i survived the accident she too must had survived, they should have mistaken! She was not niharika. that was the only thing my heart strongly corraborated, what i felt,
"she's not niharika!" i stepped back sternly! looking at vartika, my eyes were pleading her to say me that it's not her, but she stood there with both her hands fixed against her mouth trying hard to stop the flow of tears,
"she is not niharika" i turned to face my jiju but he too was near to be broken
"vardhaan try and understand! She is niharika! and she is injured Severly, her left was crushed totally, she had a total of 12 fractures in her hand and leg! and multiple clots, in her brain! She is not even in her senses! She's been like that from the past 4 days!! She is niharika! She is..." my jiju, fed up with me finally screamed at me in rage and agony!
"no she's not! You are lying. She is not niharika" i screamed and pushed my jiju aside as a result i fell down on the floor instantly, i completely lost control over myself and my heart sank every minute when i heard vartika iterating the fact that it was her... my jiju tried to make me stand... But i was in no stage to be cared.. My heart squeezed to the last drop of it's blood.
"she's not my niharika... Niharika.. niharikaaa!!! Where are you..." i kept on wailing and rapping the floor simultaneously till the duty nurse barged in and asked my di and jiju to take me out and i don't know how long i spent wailing... But i remember vartika and my jiju Carrying me to my room... Before i passed out.
I woke up to the disturbance of someone talking around me and i heard my jiju talking to doctor, most probably about my condition... I tried to sit on the bed whilst i heard the doctor's voice dreamily, saying that my condition had progressed a bit and i could walk with the help of crutches..
My jiju's face lit up on hearing to the doctors words... and he was still talking to him whilst i stood up and began to walk, staggering though.. Taking the support of wall and doors and finally reached to the icu where up to my knowledge niharika was being treated.. I quickly glanced through the glass panes and found vartika helping The duty nurse to change niharika to fresh robes...
I pressed my palm against the glass door thus opening it with low rustling sound,
"vardhaan!" vartika trudged towards me, "vardhaan...why did..." she began to speak, placing her palm on my shoulder, i jerked my shoulder and gestured her to stay silent.! I continued to walk towards the bed! She said nothing, with every step i made my heart was thumping, out of my chest, i really had no heart to see her, in such state still somehow! I reached her, she was like sleeping, just closed her eyes peacefully! So calm.!
"vardhaan.!" vartika came to me,
"shhh..! She's sleeping... Let her..." i muttered.. Vartika turned silent but I heard her sobbing softly!
"vardhaan! Why don't you understand! She's unconscious" she said
"di! No, she's just sleeping! She's even listening to us! See she would definitely ask us about this meaning less conversation of ours." i said sternly and turned to face niharika! "hai na niha?" i asked her caressing her cheeks!.. nothing came in response from her side!.. I felt vartika leaving giving an empty stare at me! But i didn't care! I slowly and carefully took niharika's palm into my hand, not disturbing the needles and began to tell her, what people were telling to me about her and asking her to make them false! Nothing, nothing came in response... My words were confined to single sided conversations!
Unlike the other days, she's not clutching my hands, chirping "choo chweet" to me! Tears filled my eyes! I so wanted her back, back lively, to life, back like old niharika, who always pulled my cheeks when she loved me! Who always complained about my unshaven beard, making puppy face! Who always snuggled in my arms saying "it feels safe!" i so wanted her back whom i spent countless evenings hand in hand! Who iterated "i hate you" to me when all she did was loving me! I spotted my tear drop which made it's way down, on her hand... I took her palm and gently kissed away the tear drop..! she was so fragile that even my could hurt her!
I was carefully placing her hand back, but it was then that something caught my eyes!!! Her mehendi.!!!. For some reason i felt like having a glance at her mehendi, i meticulously opened her fists.!! and my eyes welled up immediately when i saw the letter "v" written with mehendi on her palm! It killed me instantly! Every cell of mine was pointing out me then! How madly she's in love with me! and how rudely i avoided her!
"you shouldn't have chosen me niharika! I don't deserve you!!," i cried, i felt ashamed! Really i don't deserve her! Such an angel she is and then i..?? I just broke her heart! Made her suffer! Even then she was in such state just because of me! I should have drove safe!! Yes, it's my fault! "am sorry niharika..! am sorry..!" i cried resting my head on the bed
It was 6 in the morning that i woke up, my hand was still holding hers, difference is that she not holding me back... i smiled sadly staring at my hand in her hand, cause it remained me how carefully she used to hold my hand and intervene her fingers with mine when we used to spend mornings at terrace, a lone tear escaped from the corner of my eye!
"good morning baby! Now please open your eyes, i want to take you to terrace! It's been a long time na..." i caressed her cheeks, and it's as usual! Nothing came in response... I felt a deep twitch of pain in my heart, why she's not responding. Why she's not even opening her eyes
"niharika, please... Please, am begging you, please stop killing me and please open your eyes" i cried resting my head on her shoulder, my hand was still on her cheeks, and all of sudden i felt water droplets on my finger "uh!" i raised my head only to see tears forming streaks down her face! A ray of hope peeped into my heart,
"niharika..!.. niharika.." i began to tap her cheek gently,, she didn't even respond... and i continued my trails to wake her up, "niharika please open your eyes baby please!" i was crying..but everything was as it was like before! Her tears stopped flowing..and with every passing second i began to loose the hope..
"please niharika please..." i shook her a bit, screaming at her! But she still was the same, lying in the bed, closing her eyes
"i know, i had hurt you, i am ready if you want me to punish! But this is not the way! Niharika! Are you listening! Am talking to you!" i was screaming like a maniac! But she didn't even bother to move her finger at least!
"fine! You won't talk to me right? Then i won't talk to you till you yourself talk to me!" i ended my one sided conversation and slowly walked out of the room, wiping the incassent flow of my tears.I entered my room, trying to be so normal just that i don't want my di to see me crying! and i don't want to see her crying! But as soon as i entered the room, the sight of my jiju soothing vartika caught my eyes, the moment she saw me, she came to me and helped me to reach my bed
"di, were niha's parents here?" i asked her when she was busy adjusting the pillows to my back,
"i called, but they seemed like they were angry with her, moreover they sounded like they were least bothered!" she said, of course they might be, after all no parent would accept his daughter to go out at night just before her wedding.
"they are not even beliving my words vardhan" vartika said making me to rest back,
"di" i held her hand to halt as she turned back to leave.she turned to face me"why are you crying?" i asked
"kuch nehin" she shifted her gaze..
"di, please stop crying, see am fine and niharika is also fine, then what's bothering you?" i asked
"what's bothering me? You can't see vardhaan, you turned blind in love you don't even know what her condition is." she bellowed freeing her hand!
"nothing wrong with her di, she's fine" i iterated sternly!
"vardhaan try to understand,..." she tried to convince
"di, please" i cut her words off, i know what she had been going through was in par with what i was going through but it doesn't mean that she could say what ever she want! What ever they might say but Niharika was fine and she would be! I knew that, and nothing could make us seperate
"theek hai, i know you won't believe me, but you should know what actually happened to her" she said wiping her tears, "utto..!" she grabbed my hand carefully
"di,"
"vardhaan, you should know, i don't want you live in a false trance" she care fully ushered me to the doctor's cabin, who was treating niharika..
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