Reinventing Potter's wheel

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Reinventing the Potter's wheel

< content=07/13/2007 name=date>

Bollywood filmmakers are really excited about Harry Potter. A number of remakes are being planned, all of them hush-hush. Malay Desai takes a sneak peek into the scripts. And comes up with… no surprises. (And yes, for your daily fix on filmi happenings, just turn the page)

Back to Section Stories Posted On Friday, July 13, 2007


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Malay Desai

HARIBHAI KA SURROR - the movie, the real luv story
In this pathbreaking creation of modern cinema, Haribhai Topiwala is caught in a love triangle with a 7-year-old and a 30-year-old girl. The plot is totally filmed in Germany and includes scenes like his arrest (on allegations of child-molestation) and a sting operation - in between songs and item numbers.

KEY ELEMENTS:
• 167 songs sung right from the nose er… heart.
• An action sequence where Haribhai drives a flying rickshaw.

KASAUTII POTTER KAY
Khari Potter is the youngest family member of the family. This TV series (telecast also in South Asia, America and Central Africa) is a 34000-episode-long saga of how Khari Potter manages to see through the politics of the Potter family - the vamps, the cousins, the aunties, et al, alongwith his wife and kids.

KEY ELEMENTS:
• 167 well-defined characters of the Potter family, the oldest being 221-years old.
• The actor who plays the lead character of Khari is replaced a dozen times through the show.
• The female characters playing negative roles wear snake-shaped bindis.

KABHI HARRY KABHIE POTTER
The plot: The whimsical Harry Malhotra (guess who, SRK!) goes to Hazamgadh school of Pottery and Gardening. He's the elder son of the billion-dollar scion and owner of the Malhotra Group. At Hazamgadh he falls in love with the Harmeet (Rani) - the daughter of the chief potter. The rest of the plot is self-explanatory. (How can it not be, if it can be summarised in 10 minutes!)

KEY ELEMENTS:
• 167 sequences of characters breaking down on screen.
• A humungous flashback portraying Harry's upbringing.
• A sudden love song shot in the Mediterranean - with 0.032 second-long appearance by Kajol.
• Draco Malfoy's character into an extramarital affair.

VIVAH LA POTTER
The plot: Prem Puttar, in love with lady Harminder Kaur, marries her.

KEY ELEMENTS:
• 167 pre, mid and post-wedding songs.
• 17 characters by the name 'Prem'.
• Autographed magic wands for people who watch the entire movie.

H COMPANY
The plot:Harwinder aka Harrybhai (played by a debutant actor from nowhereland) is a newbie at Hogwards school of Guncraft and Gunnery. He gets involved into a fued over a lost AK 47 with the local goons and later on joins a rival underground faction. While his rise as Harry the Don and his inception into the H company, he manages to falls in love, jump off the Hogwards Express and survive and keep his enemies at bay.

KEY ELEMENTS:
• A total of 167 dead bodies in through the film.
• An item number in the rain by Hermione (another debutante female actor).
• An 'A' certificate - a new trend for the Harry Potter series.