Marriages are made in heaven......but broken on Earth?

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varshitap

@varshitap

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Posted: 10 years ago

Hello Friends,

Adiraj and Ayesha are getting married and everybody is happy. However for me it opened up a discussion on "Is only love enough to sustain a marriage ?!! ". They say " Marriages are made in heaven" ...but do the people in heaven know how to keep up the marriage on Earth?!!😲 Sounds a bit silly argument but the truth is ...we see people who have love marriage...part ways immediately even though they might have been dating for years before that, same way there are people who may not know each other but have an arranged marriage and pull through for years...here I would like to say that I am not generalizing any thing its just a thought. I am neither for something or against something because marriage is a very personal issue.

For an unmarried person marriage is always a fairy tale and a bag of expectations!! But for a married person it is a struggle to be trustworthy and keep up to the promises of the holy bond.

Ayesha says she loves Adiraj unconditionally but she found it so difficult to manage her life for those 15 days of her challenge!! then how can she sustain herself for years together with Adiraj in his humble dwelling?!! People will say love gives strength to do even the impossible things...but this can be a view of a hyper optimist. A realist will tell you this relationship may not work!! When people involved ( here Ayesha and Adiraj) are skeptical about future then how can they stick together for long. Apart from love , life demands certain necessities which require money as Barkha says and I agree with her. Here Adiraj is a jobless poet and Ayesha (don't know what her status is ,I mean whether she has completed her education or not) is yet to get a job. She has been brought up like a princess with all the luxuries and suddenly she will have to giveup all these things and Adiraj is too proud and principled to accept financial help from anyone. Then we have Adiraj not being honest in the relationship from the beginning , he has his set of mysteries!!😆 And Ayesha seems fine with it!!😕 Is this not the beginning of the end of the story as far as marriage is concerned?!! Because marriage stands on the foundation of trust and there is no place for mysteries!!🤔 So friends , Love is important, but in a wedlock a person needs to be ( bear😆) with the partner 24 X 7 for the rest of his/her life and this requires patience and trust. And with Ayesha and Adiraj I don't find patience !! Ayesha is easily influenced by her mood!! and Adiraj is egoistic to bend!! what a perfect recipe for disaster !! 🤢

Thus I wonder whether " Marriages are made in heaven ( read the rich Bharadwaj mansion) ...but broken on Earth ( read Adiraj's humble dwelling) !!😆

Sorry for the lecture!! 😳

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Anuppama

@ak75

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+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Very thoughtful topic Varsha. We forum wasis are not happy with the hasty Adisha marriage. Yesterday's opening scene was wonderful. Every word Barkha spoke oozed reality. There are times when Barkha speaks sensibly even with Nikhil but somehow both her children don't take her seriously.

There is no guarantee a marriage is for ever. We see perfectly matched couples drift apart and break up after 15-20 yrs of marriage. Love has different meaning in different stages of life. While it gives us a sense of security and happiness, it is not life. Facing day to day situations and problems and finding solution for them is a different ball game altogether. If Ayesha is getting into this believing Laajo's advice about 'Sachcha pyaar' then she is in for a rude shock.

Laajo is made of different stuff. She grew up in a village with lot of hardship and minimum facilities. In her worst times she had sensible people to guide her and she made it on her own with hardwork and determination. She can survive without designer clothes, accessories and lipsticks.

Ayesha has not seen the harsh realities of life. She can look at her own parents. They are so different from each other and the marriage is still working because Inder gives 200% to it. Adi is a total non-giver. He is not going to invest even 10% of his time or energy for this relationship. Ayesha will have to make all the sacrifices and within no time she is going to feel suffocated in this marriage.

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varshitap

@varshitap

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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: ak75
Very thoughtful topic Varsha. We forum wasis are not happy with the hasty Adisha marriage. Yesterday's opening scene was wonderful. Every word Barkha spoke oozed reality. There are times when Barkha speaks sensibly even with Nikhil but somehow both her children don't take her seriously.

There is no guarantee a marriage is for ever. We see perfectly matched couples drift apart and break up after 15-20 yrs of marriage. Love has different meaning in different stages of life. While it gives us a sense of security and happiness, it is not life. Facing day to day situations and problems and finding solution for them is a different ball game altogether. If Ayesha is getting into this believing Laajo's advice about 'Sachcha pyaar' then she is in for a rude shock.

Laajo is made of different stuff. She grew up in a village with lot of hardship and minimum facilities. In her worst times she had sensible people to guide her and she made it on her own with hardwork and determination. She can survive without designer clothes, accessories and lipsticks.

Ayesha has not seen the harsh realities of life. She can look at her own parents. They are so different from each other and the marriage is still working because Inder gives 200% to it. Adi is a total non-giver. He is not going to invest even 10% of his time or energy for this relationship. Ayesha will have to make all the sacrifices and within no time she is going to feel suffocated in this marriage.

Thanks Anu ,Agree with you . We cannot say Marriages are forever..and if a marriage is sustaining then it may not be necessarily love that keeps it going...it may be compulsions of society, responsibility of being responsible parents...and many more. But I feel that in a marriage if both the partners believe in giving than expecting than 90% of the problem is solved. Yes love gives you happiness and marriage gives you a sense of security and a feeling that someone is there for you. But life does not end or begin there. The struggles of life have to be endured in individual capacity ,but if you have an understanding partner...that struggle becomes more simpler.

Yes Ayesha's " Sachha Pyaar" hypothesis borrowed from Laajo may not work as Adi is not a giving kind of a person and Ayesha has many expectations!! So true " great expectations lead to great disappointments"...that may be on the way for this couple.

Coming to Laajo, She has grown in the village in a fairly conservative society which believes that once married then it is forever. Laajo has grown up the hard way believing in her self and her abilities and such people cannot be easily cowed down by any adversity, they are fighters till the last breath or can call eternal optimists!! So for her "Sachha pyaar" may be the driving power and it doesn't matter what the attitude of Nikhil is!! She will always forgive him and pin her hopes on him!!

Don't you feel Nikhil is a lucky guy!!😉

On a lighter note Anu, I am not such a serious person discussing serious things...its not me !! but Ayesha and Adiraj brought my serious self out of me!!😆 Now I should go back to some funny jokes to get myself back!!😆 ( I am bored with my own topic🥱)

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Anuppama

@ak75

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Well said Varsha. This line is sooo true

The struggles of life have to be endured in individual capacity ,but if you have an understanding partner...that struggle becomes more simpler.

As most of us are married and have kids we find it diffult to digest the bubble Ayesha is living in. 🤔 So, even though its a serious topic we have to discuss it 😊

Nik is lucky and so is Laajo. They have helped and supported each other many times. Nowadays Nik is luckier 😆

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varshitap

@varshitap

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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: ak75
Well said Varsha. This line is sooo true

The struggles of life have to be endured in individual capacity ,but if you have an understanding partner...that struggle becomes more simpler.

As most of us are married and have kids we find it diffult to digest the bubble Ayesha is living in. 🤔 So, even though its a serious topic we have to discuss it 😊

Nik is lucky and so is Laajo. They have helped and supported each other many times. Nowadays Nik is luckier 😆

Yes , Laajo is lucky as Nikhil has indeed helped her so many times and even saved her life..may be not like a husband ..but like a friend. Now as a husband he always did as she told him like during that challenge thing , he stayed in Bharadwaj mansion on self imposed "Judai", and even in CBI track he so much followed as she told him to do. At one point I even felt why Nikhil wants to use Laajo's brain when he has one!!😆 He had become her pet parrot!!😕

Now-a-days he is luckier!! 😉 So many ladies stalking him!! who will not be happy?!!😆

As for Ayesha ...I feel the fairy tale ..." Alice in wonderland" can be made " Ayesha in wonderland"!! It may come crashing down !! feel sorry for her!!🤢

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apus fan

@sami01

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+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

actually I personally feel that love is not that important as respect for the other partner. I feel genuine respect can keep any relationship going and some times relationships keep going because priorities change from happy with each other to for sake of children and later on companionship and sheer habit of each other...

I think in Laajo's case she did sacrifice a lot for her marriage, she did not enter it with any sense of love for Nikhil, she did it for sake of her family whom she had brought to verge of ruin with her idealism...

even for Nikhil the commitment towards Laajo was amazing despite his love for Ishaana.

In case of Lakhil they both unconsciously were strength of each other, when one needed another life, destiny or their own heart was there to help and make the path easier...

in case of Ayesha and adi it is all about me and my ideals...adi is about I wont change for any one and if some one loves me enough , that person should bend her back...yes he feels deep down to do some thing for Ayesha but he is not making any effort at all, he seems to be stuck in a bubble of what is right and is blinded to look around..

BTW all of u awesome subject and amazing discussion...Problem is life is not about black and white...it severe thing in between shades of grey to colorful rainbow...but adi and Ayesha are too stuck to see around...But I feel Cvs do have a plan for that relationship, now I also want to see gunja and her story...even rishi's story, all is lost some where

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Kazimierz Imran

@Kazimierz

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Posted: 10 years ago

My friends you made excellent points. My point view Adi and Ayesha's marriage seems it's going fall apart before it's started. Ayesha should not to rush this marriage adi always acts that he has superior than her and ayesha I think she is in love the idea of marriage not really with adi cause they don't make sense to me rushing and getting married. Anyway will see what the CV's will do their stroy.

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Hema48

@Hema48

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Posted: 10 years ago

Interesting topic Varsha!

I was actually thinking about Adisha the other day and pondered on their fights at the start of their rapport with each other and how they've ended!

I think it's sad that a girl like Ayesha who had so much spunk and Adi who had character have changed so much. I used to be thrilled to watch them but not anymore. Adi used to enjoy arguing with Ayesha and there was better chemistry between them then. How come Adi has stopped going to the library? And Ayesha has she even finished her course? So many loose ends...

For me this couple have lost the charm they had. Adiraj is boring while Ayesha has become a doormat! What a shame Ayesha didn't learn any tips from her mum lol

You can tell in such a marriage only Ayesha, as most of you rightly said will be making compromises while Mr Adhiraj will just act like he is very noble and has high moral values bla bla bla!

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varshitap

@varshitap

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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: sami01
actually I personally feel that love is not that important as respect for the other partner. I feel genuine respect can keep any relationship going and some times relationships keep going because priorities change from happy with each other to for sake of children and later on companionship and sheer habit of each other...
I think in Laajo's case she did sacrifice a lot for her marriage, she did not enter it with any sense of love for Nikhil, she did it for sake of her family whom she had brought to verge of ruin with her idealism...

even for Nikhil the commitment towards Laajo was amazing despite his love for Ishaana.

In case of Lakhil they both unconsciously were strength of each other, when one needed another life, destiny or their own heart was there to help and make the path easier...

in case of Ayesha and adi it is all about me and my ideals...adi is about I wont change for any one and if some one loves me enough , that person should bend her back...yes he feels deep down to do some thing for Ayesha but he is not making any effort at all, he seems to be stuck in a bubble of what is right and is blinded to look around..

BTW all of u awesome subject and amazing discussion...Problem is life is not about black and white...it severe thing in between shades of grey to colorful rainbow...but adi and Ayesha are too stuck to see around...But I feel Cvs do have a plan for that relationship, now I also want to see gunja and her story...even rishi's story, all is lost some where

Agree with you Sami. That respect is more important be it wedlock or any other relationship. Here I would like to say that Love is also important to keep the relationship fresh and kicking. May be not the lovey-dovey kind of love!!😉 but love shown in small gestures like giving space to your partner, being compassionate, understanding situations and being considerate. I think these things may be small but go a long way. Well I am overwhelmed when my hubby does the dishes, when I feel sick though he has come home after a busy , tiring day!! At the same time I see thankfulness in his eyes when I keep all his things in order to be ready for the next day!! Sorry for being personal , but these things are also love. Most of it I found when my elder kid was so cranky and wouldn't sleep and my hubby would be up half the night trying to pacify him so that I can get a wink of sleep and be fresh to take the baby's tantrum next morning !! 😊 And no relationship is always perfect, as no human being is perfect..so marriage is a quest for being happy together with our imperfections!!😛

But Adiraj and Ayesha don't share the basic necessity , i.e trust so I am skeptical of their relationship. They are both so superficial...one with his idealism and other with her obsession to get married!!😡

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varshitap

@varshitap

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Posted: 10 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: Hema48
Interesting topic Varsha!
I was actually thinking about Adisha the other day and pondered on their fights at the start of their rapport with each other and how they've ended!

I think it's sad that a girl like Ayesha who had so much spunk and Adi who had character have changed so much. I used to be thrilled to watch them but not anymore. Adi used to enjoy arguing with Ayesha and there was better chemistry between them then. How come Adi has stopped going to the library? And Ayesha has she even finished her course? So many loose ends...

For me this couple have lost the charm they had. Adiraj is boring while Ayesha has become a doormat! What a shame Ayesha didn't learn any tips from her mum lol

You can tell in such a marriage only Ayesha, as most of you rightly said will be making compromises while Mr Adhiraj will just act like he is very noble and has high moral values bla bla bla!

Thanks Hema. I agree with you, Ayesha and Adiraj were more connected earlier on when they would keep fighting!!! But now it is like everything is fine but nothing is fine!! Barkha seems to be more sensible and all others are just betting on the "Sachha pyaar" theory which is not going to work in this case as both Adi and Ayesha are together but poles apart!!🤢

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Marriages are made in heaven......but broken on Earth?

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