NEVER LET YOU GO.:
PART-18
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6th april 2000 11:25 pm
aaahhh...! it took 4 hours to mend those spare parts into extremely beautiful scrap art... and another half en hour for making the hideous terrace look lovely finally It was 11 30 pm already and i was still checking on the arrangements I've made... it was icy cold out...and I had set every thing ready! The table, the candles, the cake every thing.. also i myself dressed up in the shirt she had given me...
"done.!" i heaved a sigh of relief and checked my watch... Niharika might be waiting down stairs and so i rushed down to bring her to terrace and there she was waiting for me at the lift down stairs, she wore a stunning black saree with single step and left her hair open..! The bindhi and the sparkling earrings adorning her face... Gosh...! She was seducing... My heart skipped a beat on seeing her...
"uff..! Vardhaan.. Breathe.. Move,.dumbo.. Don't freeze.." my heart scowled at me, i took a deep breath and moved towards her
"hey" she smiled on seeing me... I neared her "You're late again" she made puppy face... Aaahh! Her innocence... I was flattened..
"you look gorgeous" i said. she blushed... she was just like an angle she was beautiful, adorable that i just couldn't avert my gaze...My eyes were transfixed on her, i couldn't shift my gaze
"whaat?" she raised her brows
"Nothing" i shook my head side ways...
"stop staring at me vardhaan" she said closing my eyes, i held her hands off my eyes and still was staring at her.. "vardhaaan..!" she turned tomato red...
"idiot... Stop it, i can't withstand!!" she hit me in my stomach
"ouch!" It hurt.
"vardhaan at least tell me now...why are you taking me to terrace" she asked
"surprise" i pinched her nose.
"let's go then... I can't wait any more" she made a face!
"okay baba... Okay okay...come,.. this way!"
"stair case?" she frowned. I nodded and we began to climb the steps... We climbed the first floor,...lost in our conversation, i never feel bore when she talks instead i love to hear more and more from her..but that night it was some thing, right from the moment i saw her in saree, downstairs all the time i was trying hard to control my urge to kiss her..
"oh my god! I can't" she said all of sudden, breaking my thoughts
"what happened? " i turned back to look at her, she was panting with her hands on her waist
"i can't Vardhaan..let's wait for a second" she said.
"nope, baby.. It's getting late..! Come fast" i insisted
"ummm!" she made a face pouting her lips... Awww how cute! I felt an urge to pull her into my arms and hug her till she choke., i simply neared her and wrapped my hand around her waist and lifted up her in my arms!
"vardhaan yeah kya kar rahe ho tum? Let me down. i'll walk" she said wrapping her arms around my neck...
"shh.! I feel like doing this" i said. She smiled... and i smiled..
"aaah! That killer smile again... Vardhaan, you look sooo cute when you smile..." she pinched my cheeks...
"not as cute as you" i quipped
"yeah! You're right.." she teased. It took minutes to climb up to terrace for me with niharika in my arms... and once on the terrace, i let her down and was staring at her surprised expression on seeing the terrace... Completely lit with aroma candles and the balloon spread floor...
"You did this? For me" she exclaimed, i nodded smiling,.. "i am speechless! really" Vardhaan... You never know how happy i am today, not that because of all this but because of you! I love you vardhaan!" she kissed my hand,
"i have lot more for you...baby" i cupped her face. "come" i said holding her hand and making her walk but suddenly I got to remember something! Damn! I left the roses on the table in my room..!!!
"niha you wait here baby i'll be back soon" i said.
"but why?"
"just a second"
"hmm, come fast.." she said with drooped face! i made her sit at the table and climbed down the stairs hastily, i rushed to my room, my room mate was in deep sleep and so it took minutes for me to collect the roses on the table, i silently tip toed out and began to climb up the stairs to the terrace.! With in no time i was on the terrace, as i stepped on something unusual... in the poorly lit background had caught my sight...like someone holding niharika too close, almost like a hug from behind
i stood at the entrance, trying to make sure what i saw was happening for real! i was Completely stupefied by the sight my eyes caught NIHARIKA IN KABIR'S ARMS!!! He was holding her from behind and kissing along her neck line!! I was frozen! I felt suffocated on seeing her in his arms, strangely She was simpering in his arms!! it brought back the memories of that night on terrace when kabir said "i have my own ways to make her mine!" and that day in canteen when she said "had it been kabir, he would have married right now" and last but not the least and certainly the most painful!! Her marriage proposal with kabir!! Every thing everything played in front of my eyes! World had stopped for me, i wished that could be a dream but it was not! i felt my heart weak, like someone squeezing it hard...
"Does she love him? Did she cheated on me?" were the only questions whirled in my mind. "damn..! how dare she cheat me??? "I felt cheated, i felt defeated, i felt shattered, my heart was broken into millions of pieces! I just couldn't with stand it anymore and i yelled
"NIHARIKAAA" i screamed at the top of my voice.
"vardhaan..!" she exclaimed breaking their embrace in which she was simpering till then. I said nothing and i didn't make any move at least..! My blood was boiling and I was trying hard to control my self., she seemed to perplexed! She turned back and almost shocked to see him, with in no time she broke into tears on seeing kabir,.. Smiling wickedly at her, whatever! Seeing her in his arms, i felt like some one strangling me to death! It would be good if someone really does that, cause every breathe of mine was hurting me now!!! One more second on the terrace! I definitely either would have killed him or would definitely have hurt her, but i want neither of them to happen..!!
I just turned back and rushed to the lift... I want to run away...far and far away from that situation... I could hear her calling me from behind, crying but i don't even want to look at her..! I don't know what i was feeling right then but i don't want to face the situation, with in seconds i was in the lift..pressing the buttons randomly through my blurred vision, but before the door closed, kabir entered in!! Smirking at me, i said nothing, and it's his turn!!! he began to speak,
"hey vardhaaan..!! Don't cry man! Just face the reality and accept the truth..." he said, i didn't even looked at him all the time he spoke i was trying to control my self clenching my fists and he continued to speak "truth is that she never loved you! She loved me!! Only me!! Now that we are going to get married, we just want to tell you, how foolish you are, you are a pessimist, hopeless piece of junk! a looser..! We just used you! and you believed it to be love??" he laughed and continued to speak
"Look at you! Why would a girl love you ever..! poor vardhaan! No parents, no home, no affection, no love! I pity you vardhaan! What ever all the best for you future and do attend our wedding! I think you too witnessed, how happy and comfortable we are with each other!!"he began to laugh wickedly!! What i have heard from him, every word of his killed me, pierced my heart like a sharp knife, it hurt more than what i'd seen minutes before, kabir had crushed and tampered the broken pieces of my heart...
"why she did that to me... why????" I want to cry! I want to yell! I want to hurt my self just that i could be relieved from the pain!! but i could do nothing, i was helpless! I ran to the store room like a maniac..and locked from inside, the agony that nested in my heart for the past 15 minutes burst out then..!! I turned insane almost, i hit few of glass panes on the table and the glass pieces pierced my skin leading the blood to ooze out..!! But i didn't care!! The pain i felt for the past half en hour..was umpteen times more than what it gave...!!!
i began to hit what ever i saw in that gloomy room, till i heard some knocking the door! I fell silent when i heard her voice crying and asking me to open the door!!
"vardhaan! Mere baat toh suno, ek bar darwaza kholona please..." she pleaded crying... I did decided to open the door, not for her sake but for my sake! Because i want to get hurt, i want more and more pain that i could forget her!! Forget the betrayal i faced and i did opened the door..! With in time of blink she rushed in crying, gasping for breathe,
"vardhaan i swear i really don't know that it's him, he closed my eyes hugging me from behind! I thought it was you, i swear i really really don't know that it was him! Trust me vardhaan! Please trust me!" she cried, but i stood there deaf to her words, i don't even want to look at her because the kisses kabir had planted on her were mocking me! The sight of her in his arms was haunting me! I couldn't bare that. and she was still pleading me to gain my trust.! Whatever her words then mean nothing!!
"are you done!" i screamed at her
"vardhaan!" she was stupefied trying hard to fight her tears back..
"jooth, sab jooth, thum ek jooth, your smile, your eyes, your words and you! You are totally a lie!! You are!! You are the biggest lies of my life!!" i shook her hard, with trembling voice,
"vardhaan... Oh god.. Your hand, it's bleeding" she freed herself and held my hand!
"chod!" i bellowed! "bas karo ye sab! Bandh karo ye natak abhi! aur jao yeha se!" i grabbed her hand
"vardhaan please! Ek baar, meri baat toh suno, please."she was wailing, pleading me all the while when i dragged her out of the room and slammed the door behind I sank to the floor instantly wailing, i so want to hear that it was a joke..., but it's not!! I could still hear her crying and pleading me to open the door, pleading me to hear her words for one last time,from the out side, she sat there on the floor knocking the door, crying incessantly, but nothing made me to think about her again!!
"it's over niharika! You played with me! You can't cheat me again! Just go away, leave me alone! Go away, please go away, go away, just go away" i screamed rapping the door with the tears dribbling my face without any hiatus..!!
that night, it's memorable of course!! and really a very long never ending terrific night mare
7th Apr 2000
i woke up with a terrific head ache and as soon as i opened my eyes the images of last night came rushing to my mind! I felt suffocated, i tried to stand up but i lost my control and fell on the floor! After few trails i managed to stand and opened the door! I was shocked to see niharika on the floor leaning against the door holding it tightly, she looked disturbed, her eyes were swollen and had dark circles round them as a proof that she cried for the whole night! I care fully lifted her up in my arms and carried her to the hostel, seriously! I did that last night too..! But it was nothing like i felt last night, i felt nothing holding her such close..
In no time i reached to the hostel and carefully made her sit on the bench out side!! She was in deep sleep that nothing could disturb her! I slowly let her down to the bench and it was then that she clutched my collar
"i really don't know vardhaan" she mumbled in sleep.. But it was nothing to me then! Her words her acts, she herself was nothing to me then
"you mean nothing to me ms.niharika oberoi... Good bye" i said to my self audible enough as i left for my room.
NIHARIKA YOU ARE MY PAST NOW
I TRULY HATE YOU.
...
"it's not his mistake" randhir said
"It's not her mistake either" she quipped.. "how can kabir do such things!! He's really sick! I would slap him if he comes in front of me" she said gnashing
"san..." randhir tried to speak but before he could say something her mobile buzzed, with the screen flashing sameer's name...
"offo...this irritating guy! Why he is calling me now" she frowned turning the phone to silent mode... She shifted her gaze to randhir, only to see him, silent. She observed a huge swing of emotions in his face!
"randhir" she called out "why are you so silent? Say something, tease me! Mock me! Make fun of my fiance" she said
"kuch nehin. You know what!? He doesn't suit you" he said not looking at her!
"i know" she sounded low leaning back to the bed. a lone tear escaped her eye.
"why sanyukta! Why are you doing it then?" he asked.
"i don't know" she mumbled again. The fell silent for a while, till randhir found her fiddling the ring he wore on her forcefully when they were in second year! She still was carrying it on her finger!
"what ever randhir! Ye sab chodo and open the book" she said wiping the tears off her face! He said nothing, he silently opened the book and continued to read!
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