FF : Tere Mere Darmiyaan LAST PART pg-87 dt.10.10.14 - Page 52

Chapter 15

The bitter and filthy smell of beer and local alcohol filled the air as clouds of cigarette smoke floated around. Ear deafening music screeched in the back ground while the drinkers and spectators cheered loudly as Anna thrashed his opponent to pulp.

After around two months dutta was back to his hunting ground. Sitting alone in a corner he impatiently waited for the ongoing fight to finish off. The thought of knocking out anna made his adrenaline pick up. He gulped down half the bottle of beer in one go and placed it back on the table with a thud. His chest lifted and dropped with his own rapid breathing as the events of the last few hours fogged his mind. He had certainly not expected to come face to face with his past like that. Those dreadful memories came to life as soon as those pictures came before his eyes. Gripping the bottle hard with his fingers, he hated the way his past controlled him. He hated how it made him weak and miserable in just a few seconds. Even after so many years he was still unable to combat the evils of his past. Physically he might be strong but mentally and emotionally he was fragile extremely fragile. And today his worst fears came alive. The past that he kept so closely guarded, dared to pop out its ugly face.

Draining the remaining contents of the bottle down his throat he realized that as much as he loved and missed his parents, he despised those horrendous memories associated with them. As much as he idealized his father and wished to become like him, the truth was that he was nowhere close to what he was. He didn't know that a beast resided inside him and that he would attack not only him but nakusha too. He smashed the empty bottle on the ground.

The referee rang the bell indicating that the ongoing fight was over and the next one would start shortly. Dutta with hooded eyes glared at anna. The beast within him was hungry and thirsty for blood. He grasped hold of the iron bars and pushed open the gate to enter. Both of them shared a menacing look. Unlike before this time he didn't desire to provoke anna , he only wished to unleash the anger that was boiling within him. . Dutta swung his fist up, connecting forcefully with anna's jaw, snapping his head to the side as he launched at him. Taken aback by the intensity of the attack, anna was momentarily unable to defend himself. Dutta grabbed him by the back of his neck with the intention to punch him hard again but failed as anna delivered a sharp right hook to his cheek that finally knocked dutta's hold upon him loose. Dutta staggered back, trying to keep his balance as his head spun and images of images of traumatized nakusha flashed before him. He had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach when he remembered what he had done and what he was intending to with her. How could he have stooped so low? She was begging and pleading before him to leave her but he was ruthless and relentless with her. Without warning anna hauled off and punched dutta straight in the gut. He twisted his face but didn't make a sound when he fell on the ground as nakusha's cries echoed in his ears. What was her fault, just that she had mistakenly reminded him of his past? But then when did he tell her that those memories traumatized him? When did he bother to share his pain, anguish and sorrows with her? Never ever! Instead wallowing in self pity and escaping from her concerns was easier for him. After years he had someone in his life who genuinely cared for him, who wanted to bring him out of his miseries and what did he do in return, made that very person's life wretched? Tormented by his thoughts, he swayed and got up to his feet. Anna didn't give him a moment to attack or defend, he simply hit him across the face on the same spot. The blow opened a gash across his cheek. He sneered while blood welled into the tear anna had opened in his face. Anna sniggered wickedly, dutta couldn't imagine the satisfaction he was getting from smashing him left right and centre. Tortured by his past, dutta had come down here to inflict pain on someone else so that he could feel better but strangely hadn't he already done that? Hadn't he already destroyed and punished someone, then why wasn't he feeling better? The soul shocking pain and fear that assaulted her clogged his mind, making him ashamed of his deeds. It was as if she was at his mercy and he was so blinded by his own agony and anger that he failed to notice how brutally he was hurting her. And now regretting and hating himself couldn't undo the sin he had committed. He was worse than an animal could be!

Picking up dutta by the collar with his left hand, anna's right hand was balled into a fist and he jabbed it across his jaw sending him to the floor again with a thud. Blood streamed from his nose, as anna stood over him threateningly and glared down at him. He didn't know why tonight dutta wasn't fighting back, he wasn't even attempting to defend himself. It seemed as if he had given up completely and was here to be only battered. It pleased him immensely to see him thrashed but it irked him that despite being bloodily assaulted dutta wasn't cringing or wincing in pain. The crowd was on anna's side, it was shouting and screaming for him but it didn't appease him. Instead of hearing the applause from the spectators he craved to hear dutta groan in pain. With that desire and intent in mind he kicked dutta with full force in his ribs. Severe pain surged through his body and he scrunched his eyes as the world around him closed in but still he didn't grimace. He deserved all this. He deserved to die! What he had done to her was unforgettable and unforgivable. He doubted he could ever face her and look into her eyes again. And just when his heavy eyelids were dropping and he was blacking out, he thought that he saw her standing far away. Perhaps he was hallucinating or the cheap beer was compelling him to imagine her but whatever it was, he finally succumbed to all the thrashing when the air rushed out of his lungs and he softly murmured," nakusha."

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She looked at the man who lay unconscious in the hospital bed. His face distorted with bruising and swelling. A line of dried blood snaking down from the left corner of his mouth .His nose was wounded, the nostrils ringed with dried blood. The right side of his forehead down to the bridge of his nose was purple. His left eye seemed to be swollen. Pursing her lips, she didn't wish to glance at him but couldn't take her eyes off him for even a second. She wanted to leave and run away from him instead found herself sitting by his side. She didn't know what compelled her to go looking out for him and coerce kaale to take her to the place where he could be. She should have left him on his own and not care a damn about him but she couldn't be stone hearted with him. She wanted to hate, curse and punish him but silently she was praying for his well being. He didn't deserve her love and care, in fact he didn't deserve her to be a part of his life, then why couldn't she simply cut her off him? Was she being a doormat?

He was the same person who had shredded her pride and honor. Who had ignored her wails and tears because he only wished to see her suffer and that too in the most horrible possible way. For her it was worse than a nightmare. No wife in her wildest of dreams would like to see her husband to be so cruel and ruthless with her. The memories of his beastly act still made her shudder.

Yet he was the same man who could never see her in pain, who had married her to give her a better life, who although didn't love her but still never failed to give her the respect that a wife deserved and who was always behind her to catch her if she fell. Without ever calling him, he was always there for her to guard and protect her. He was that pillar of strength and support that she didn't know she had in her life until she heard the confrontation he had with laxmi because of her. His blazing eyes and the bitterness in his voice that he wouldn't spare anyone who dared to hurt her was still fresh in her mind. And so was that shocking and remorseful look on his face when he realized that he was forcing himself on her. The pain and sheer disgust in his eyes was something she couldn't ignore. As if in his fit of rage he didn't know what he was doing and when he did, he loathed himself for it. She wasn't attempting to justify or defend his hideous act but pondering over how a righteous man like him could go so wrong.

Until last night she had seen him as someone who was tough, hard and unapproachable for the world but for his family that comprised of his nephew and...her, he was extremely caring and fiercely protective. He had a painful past that tortured him but was hell bent on not sharing it with anyone and preferred to suffer alone. But unfortunately last night unknowingly she crossed the line and ended up scraping his wounds so badly that he couldn't stop himself from avenging her. The ache was so acute and severe that it blinded him completely and he failed to realize what he was doing to her. And when the reality finally dawned on him, he was in that fighting ring, getting atrociously beaten up. He wasn't there to vent out his anger and pain instead he was guilt ridden and desired to be punished. She recalled how blood was running down his swollen jaw and it twisted her heart. She wasn't sure whether she'd forgiven him but she was absolutely certain that something really gruesome and horrible had happened in his past that compelled him to react so severely although it was hard for her to imagine what it could have been that turned him into a beast.

Dutta felt soreness and dryness in his throat that made him cough. A moment later his lips turned moist as cool water poured inside his mouth. Taking a few sips he tried opening his eyes and found a figure leaning over him. He squinted his eyes to focus properly and was left astounded to see his wife by his side, giving him spoonfuls of water. His mouth remained parted and jaw dropped. What was she doing here? The water slipped out of his mouth as he forgot to gulp it down and continued to glance up at her. She seemed distant and aloof but still held his gaze. Her eyes were cold and...dead. When he didn't take in more water she moved her hand down breaking their intense eye lock. Dropping his gaze from her face that refused to give away anything, his eyes fell on her neck. It was bruised. It had imprints of his animalistic deed. He clenched his jaws and teeth firmly and fisted the sheet with both his hands. She followed his gaze. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she read his mind and eyes. Crushing the emotion that was arising inside her, she covered her neck more securely with her sari. She then pressed the button next to his bed and stepped back.

Soon the doctor and a nurse came in to examine him. They recorded his body temperature, pulse rate, blood pressure and respiratory rate. The doctor informed that his left shoulder was dislocated, his nose was broken and he had hairline fracture of ribs. For full recovery he needed to be hospitalized for three weeks. Before leaving the nurse apprised nakusha of his medicines.

A deathly silence descended over the room as he watched her standing far away, next to the window and looking out in the oblivion. The morning rays fell on her and reflected how he had sucked life out of her being. She was a lost and lifeless soul that leaned against the window. Her silence killed him forcing him to shut his eyes in disgust.

So last night he wasn't imaging her, she was actually there when he fell unconscious. After what he had done to her, what made her come there? Why did kaale bring her there? And why the hell did she get him to the hospital, couldn't she have left him there to die? He wasn't worthy of her and this life. He deserved to suffer and rot in hell!

His closed eyes flickered on hearing her footsteps when they approached him. He turned his head sideways to look at her. She took out a tablet from the bottle and poured water in a glass before turning to him. Then with eyes downcast she placed one hand on his shoulder and slipped the other one underneath his head to sit him up. She placed the pillow behind his head for support. From the corner of her eye she found him staring at her. She ignored his stares and offered him the medicine and water.

He averted his gaze and turned away his head. He didn't need her concern and support. She didn't have to take care of him and be nice to him. Instead he wanted her to scream, abuse and curse him. He only deserved her hatred and nothing else. With every passing second his guilt and his loathing toward himself was multiplying.

She extended her palm that had the tablet. His arrogance and stubbornness least affected and intimidated her. In fact she doubted anything about him would now intimidate her. After what seemed like ages he was forced to give in to her and took the medicine. Glancing up at the wall clock she finally broke her silence," main thodi der ghar ho kar aati hai." She picked up his old folded clothes from the chair and hung them on her hand. She took a step ahead when something slipped from his pocket and fell on the floor. Both of them peered down. It was the gold chain that he'd snatched from her neck. It was broken. And so were many things around it. Holding it in her hand a lump formed inside her throat as the images of the past night flooded her mind and a chill ran down her spine. She forcefully gulped down the lump and the memories associated with the chain.

" yeh mujhe de." His voice startled her. With lowered head she moved to his bed and dropped the chain in his palm.

" tu kyun kar rahi hai yeh sab?" he couldn't stop himself from asking. When he had wounded her heart body and soul then why wasn't she reacting? Why was she behaving in such an unexpected way? Why wasn't she punishing him? Seeing her lifeless and yet caring for him made his chest ache as if a knife had shoved in. She slowly lifted her lashes and looked at him. He was hurt. Maybe not as bad as she was but he looked ragged and desperate. His tormented eyes searched her face for an answer. She parted her lips and replied," kyunki aapko nakku ki zaroorat hai...aur nakku ko aapki."

Thanks for reading

Rose