A sharp pain tears through my gut as I write this and as the umpteenth time I try to convince myself it is a mere show. FICTION.
They do not exist. Rudra and his Parvati are not for real.. no life in them and no blood in their viens..
But what do I do?
My eyes do not understand this. Nor does my mind, my heart and my soul.
I immersed myself in the colors of Rangrasiya because it somewhere mirrored my own journey with my soul mate.
And it has been over an entire day now. My eyesight is hazy and eyes moist. They weep and I am helpless. How is it that fictional characters can invade your life so much that tears trickle down without any pause.. anytime they feel...
There was a time I used to be extremely proud for not being like "other" women.. whose lives revolve around or are dictated by a television show... oh let me make it clear... a hindi general entertainment channel saas-bahu show...
But things just changed .. beyond comprehension for me and my Nehal.
Suddenly I was mocked at... actually I am still being mocked at..
The so-called "intellectual" has finally fallen for the most mundane thing in life: A TV SHOW for the first time ever1...
My nieces, cousins, friends and work colleagues giggle when they see me lost.. which is quite often nowadays... A young Neha, who reports into me, stalks me on twitter just to check if I have stalked @ashish30sharma during the day...
And to all these I have had only one answer:
Try losing your soul to the sole one. Life will be full of happiness and worth living..just for once...Just like Rudra and Paro did for each other...
Such is the addiction:
That I made him so jealous of Rudradev that we almost decided to separate our dreams just because I was insisting that he keeps a handlebar moustache.
That Nehal, despite being ashamed of me watching the repeat at 12 pm, he decided to watch it with me just to accompany me in my madness
That he immediately figured out why I was hell bent on buying a brand new Ssangyong Rexton, (despite having three cars!) just because Mr Sharma drives one.
That I forced him to eat Pyaaz Kachori, imported from a particular shop in Jaipur just because Mr Sharma loves it..
That I forced everybody in the family to watch RR and was satisfied with my so-called contribution to its dwindling ratings..
That I made Nehal miss the first 10 minutes of the latest Salman Khan multi-crore grosser Kick because Rudradev and Paro were discussing their parenthood.
That the list does not end...
Gone was the acute and sharp sense of personal pride of being the "nerdiest" around and so did the common sense leave ... one cannot live in reel world while existing in the real. Like I had confessed in one of my posts.. this is Lunacy.. and I am gleefully walking towards it...
And I have no strength to argue right now..
Is there life ahead? I used to breathe rangrasiya every minute, every breath of mine has a Rudra, has a Paro, has their song...
The bullet which hit Paro.. actually it hit my soul... cracked it up... broke it into innumerable minute pieces which cannot be joined ever...
My heart wails for Rudra and just cannot come to face the biggest loss of his life.. or wait..is it my life..
After all.. I am Rudra and I was Paro...
The awesome tale of love and longing.. a journey of two soulmates.. who are entwined into each other so much that even the gods of this universe did not dare to separate them...
Or was it separate us... afterall... Rudra and Paro were almost what me and Nehal were some five years ago... staunch enemies but yet to realize that they were madly in love with each other...and when they did... their life together was celestial celebration of humanity..
In the hearts of my heart, I felt that this story brought me and him closer and maybe madder for each other...
I should have believed Nehal when he had warned me not to follow an Indian soap.. Indian shows are like those women who have brains but do not use it...intellectual drought to the core...
And as the mindless race for TRP began ... Here I stand today... defeated and see my soulmate upset too... he is upset because I am hurt and am in deep sorrow.
A few weeks ago I had appealed to our forum and its profilic writers to come back and not go ever...
But today, I am taking my words back... it was a mistake to seek all of you back who quit with a reason. The tube light that I am.. I just did not see it coming.
I am really sorry from the bottom of my heart...my heart... where Rudra and Paro reside...
But, I would like to thank the entire forum for being all that you are.
Met some great friends here, who have etched themselves totally on my heart and mind.. right from Josephsa, my first friend in this forum to everybody who shared my passion for RR...
Main ... Aap.. Hamesha...🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I have been a fan of the characters first and then the actors..
Would be sacrilege if the actors are not thanked too...
Ms Irani:
And best wishes for the new story line.. hope they bring what India's first of its kind...awesomest and bestest story of two divine souls, whose sordid saga of love and longing, was not able to get...and remained incomplete whatever ...
So long Rangrasiyans. Love you. Miss you.
Tum Se Tum Tak
Bigg Boss 19
