Emotions and societal barriers- How Durga will overcome

shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1
I have always felt that as far as brain power goes woman is shoulder to shoulder with man. But on most occasions she let go of things because she thinks too much with heart or because of the barriers society set up for her she feels if she dont behave in a certain way she will bring dishonour to her parents, inlaws, husband you name it anyone she related to. It is as if the honour of the family is resting on her and she should never think about what she actually wants.
Marriage and motherhood are not the phase of the woman's life, but they are the most important thing for her, everything else comes later.
So the lead of her story is given the name of Durga. I mean she is compared with Maa Durga who has taken birth with the sole aim of destroying Mahisasura.
Durga is traversing a grey path which so far I have not seen any soap heroine going about and is unapologetic about it as she feels her cause is right. She goes as if end justify the means.
Now what can be the biggest challenges for this Durga. I mean she needs to take revenge, and her path though remains grey as an audience I should feel she is doing the right thing by doing that.
For that I need to see her emotional conflicts. Yesterday's dream sequence was the beginning of a emotional conflict. CVs had shot Durga's dream with Dev so beautifully that it is very difficult for any girl to walk away from it. Even her baba feels she should choose that dream. As an audience I feel though the dream is extremely beautiful this is not the right time to choose it.
I am looking eagerly for today's epi where her emotional conflict is shown and how by the acceptance of her emotions towards Dev she is able to control them and emerge more stronger towards her mission.
Then I want to see how she is gonna handle the emotional conflicts related to parivaar, izzat, sanskaar etc etc..Challenges needs to be thrown at Durga where a normal heroine will do x,y,z for the sake of parivaar, izzat, sanskaar etc.. but Durga should not be derailed by her mission at the same time ensuring that parivaar, izzat and sanskaar are not harmed.
Because that is her biggest victory, pave a path for woman to think that they dont need to be a door mat to uphold parivvar, izzat and sanskaar. By raising questions, asking for justice they are not bringing threat to parivaar, izzat or sanskaar. But when they raise it the threat is only going for those people who wants to make woman secondary citizens and trap them in their own glass ceilings so that the patriachial norms and their powers are not questioned.
More than a revenge drama my expectation from the show is how the heroine wins against the emotional battle and societal norms without following thr standard path for parivaar, izzat and sanskaar.

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bookworm-ALS-- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#2
Yeah that would be really a good thing to see in Ek Haseena Thi. Yesterday the flashback bored me but I would love to see the heroine go through this conflict and emerge stronger.
cherrypansy thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#3
Would love to see Durga going for the justice without keeping in mind that she is a woman so the holderof ghar ki izzat, sharm etc...this show has immense potential for the novelty...but I doubt the capabilities of CV's especially after seeing the Dev track
Preternatural thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4
I am a girl and I believe to fight against injustice even if it means to stand against your family. If my family commits a mistake or say sin then I wouldn't support him/her instead I will let him realize what his/her misdeeds and rectify it. I don't know it's out of topic but when you mentioned a woman should consider ghar ki izzat, paarivar and sanskar that's why I said that, for me right is right and wrong is wrong even if it harms parivar ki izzat and sanskar. That's what I have learnt from life and no way I am going to change it.

Coming to Durga's emotions towards Dev, I think she'll find it hard on hiding her feelings from him. I think she'll succeed in her plannings but while doing these she'll mistakenly end up creating doubt in Dev's mind that she could be his Nitya. Hence Dev will try to research more on his doubt and will come to know that Durga is his Nitya.
That's just my prediction.




Edited by Abray - 11 years ago
shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5
@Abray I am also a woman and I too believe right is right wrong is wrong doesn't matter if it is family. But understand that I work with the CSR wing in my org and I have been for the past 3-4 years mentoring young girls.
Also I spent a lot of time in discussing with older aunties to let their daughters pursue their dreams. Only when you work at that level you understand the problems.
If you talk to 10 girls there might be only 1 who is willing to believe in her dreams, the other 9 believe as a girl she is only supposed to do this much. You don't understand the importance placed on marriage. Many girls are not allowed to pursue their passion because they will not get a suitable groom.
I remember running behind one aunty to allow her daughter to go for journalism. The girl had inherent talents. Her mother didn't allow and forced her to take engineering because according to her journalism was not a suitable profession for the girl's from good families😕. Girl too gave up as she felt her parents would be unhappy if she choose journalism.
That's what it is. The ground reality. And TV shows do have impact. A lot of Saas bahu serials have detoriated the situation to such an extent that I feel that girls of my generation I mean those in late twenties to mid thirties had the fire to achieve things. Go beyond what was defined for us. Whereas with all the freedom and more choices many youngsters I find it surprising that they want to confine themselves to a marriage.😕
Preternatural thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

@Abray I am also a woman and I too believe right is right wrong is wrong doesn't matter if it is family. But understand that I work with the CSR wing in my org and I have been for the past 3-4 years mentoring young girls.

Also I spent a lot of time in discussing with older aunties to let their daughters pursue their dreams. Only when you work at that level you understand the problems.
If you talk to 10 girls there might be only 1 who is willing to believe in her dreams, the other 9 believe as a girl she is only supposed to do this much. You don't understand the importance placed on marriage. Many girls are not allowed to pursue their passion because they will not get a suitable groom.
I remember running behind one aunty to allow her daughter to go for journalism. The girl had inherent talents. Her mother didn't allow and forced her to take engineering because according to her journalism was not a suitable profession for the girl's from good families😕. Girl too gave up as she felt her parents would be unhappy if she choose journalism.
I agree girls always have to think about family first even if it means to forget about her own dreams. Families be like you can't study further because if you get too old (like around thirties) you won't get a suitable groom. After marriage some conservative families don't let their daughter in law work outside 😕. I support your organization which support girls to dare to dream.

That's what it is. The ground reality. And TV shows do have impact. A lot of Saas bahu serials have detoriated the situation to such an extent that I feel that girls of my generation I mean those in late twenties to mid thirties had the fire to achieve things. Go beyond what was defined for us. Whereas with all the freedom and more choices many youngsters I find it surprising that they want to confine themselves to a marriage.😕

642126 thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#7
I don't think Durga was ever bothered or bogged down by ghar ki izzat stuff. This is why as Nitya she went to court and confronted Goenkas, hostile witnesses on her own. And confronted them again even after case was closed.
And her plans now, moving with Goenka boys at day or night, deliberately getting caught with Shaurya drugged at a night club etc show that she is not bothered about her reputation.
Or ghar ki izzat.

To be frank, revenge and justice are not Durga's dream but her need. It is very different from seeking a career. Given how she lost identity, how her sister was marauded and made a vegetable and how her parents died - she can't let go of it. Besides resentment towards Goenkas and witnesses, there is her own guilt too as partly there was error of judgement in tackling Shaurya on her part.

She cannot live in peace unless she resolves this guilt.

Not to forget Dev is a Goenka, lives in a joint family. Too much history and present day issues with Goenkas to ignore it all.

I believe she only recalled her past dreams. She cannot stop in reality.

Before being a lover, she is a human, a daughter and a sister too. In her heart there must be feeling of owing something to them. She can't get back their lives as they were before. But she can get them justice.

Rest it is purely your opinion on women and what is important, what is not etc and I do not wish to argue on it. I have never believed women are all heart or marriage and motherhood define women etc. But this is a gender debate and I do not wish to discuss it for it will stretch much beyond the purview of this show.

Durga won't face much conflict till she is unmarried and is with Dayal. The drama you seem to want to see is possible only if Durga marries Dev and struggles between past and now as a bahu of the same family that destroyed her family.

If I were in Durga's place I wouldn't have been able to think of anything else except justice given what happened to me and my family. No boyfriend is greater to me than my family. And one cannot think parents are dead so it's over. My cousin lost her father last year. She has friends and parties etc, but takes every step thinking of her dad. Papa won't like this, papa should I do this or not etc., she "feels" his presence and tries to guess what he might "say".
I also have a maasi who remained unmarried only to take care of her sister who is mentally unstable from birth. Nothing could convince her. She did her job, handled home, took care of sister. Even after retirement, at this age also she mothers her sister and thankfully her sister has grown better too.
Ties from birth are never ignored that easily. Every life has its own calling regardless of gender, social constructs.
Dolly-heart thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#8
Even as Nitya she stood up to fight the Goenka's not worrying about "Izzat" but for justice for her sister

Now as Durga she has no family left , thanks to the Goenka's to worry about her "Izzat".

She is here to actually prove to the world that her sister and her family LOST their "Izzat" because of the Evil Trio.

Women who do not move to correct a wrong for your given reasons than they are not serious about getting justice for their cause.

Why expect women to back down under such pressure when Men are applauded for the same reason.

This is the 21st Century and if we women have to constantly look backwards to move forward we will never gain any ground to free us from old and outdated rules.

Fighting to get justice is supposed to make you proud not worry about what people will say. That phrase... What will people say has kept many quiet. And women who believe that will never be strong to stand on their righteous path.

It is nothing but Emotional Blackmail by society to keep women as timid and subservient Citizens.

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