Polemic Jackanapes #2: [COMPLETE] Chapter 13-27B - Page 96

brilliant update...glad to see this side of arnav

Awesome update
Liked Arnav's outburst and unconditioned love from his family

Quote Chasing an imaginary place in life that doesn't even exist. Success isn't supposed to make you arrogant and sententious, Payal. It's supposed to make you humble, grateful for what has come your way. I understand now why nothing has changed, why I feel the same way I did yesterday or the day before that or the days before Lavanya died. It's because I was never a failure in the first place.

superb update Twigs... 😊

This get together was such a nice idea... Anjali is a sweetheart... though her husband was absent she didn't let that affect her...

Your stories are so beautiful and real that I always read the chapter twice.

Chapter 27B

Devyani walked out of her room along with Khushi and Anjali after they fixed the pleats of Devyani's saree, which had gotten tangled because of a flimsy saree pin. "I feel so silly" she chuckled, "I've been wearing sarees almost all my life and yet I managed to do this!"

"Its all that silly saree pin and this slippery business. This is why I don't wear silk sarees" Anjali remarked. "They are so difficult to handle! I need at least five pins to keep it in place."

"I can't even manage to drape a saree without Amma's help, so I still have time before I can worry about the silk" Khushi pouted.

"Practice makes perfect!" Devyani patted Khushi's shoulder; "Now I'm going to go talk to your mother. I haven't been able to talk to her properly all evening.", she said and made her way towards Garima who was standing near the kitchen talking to Om Prakash.

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Anjali stood at the balcony and tried to focus on the beautiful vista of the city skyline that was in front of her; she preferred greener sights but the blanket of clouds did make even the concrete mess look enchanting. It was breezy and pleasantly cool, the kind of weather she loved. Shyam did too, she thought.

So much for her efforts to keep her mind off him. She wanted to enjoy this evening, this celebration for her brother. Yet, when she saw his eyes drawn to the door every few minutes when he was waiting for Khushi to arrive, when she saw Aakash light up at the sight of Payal even as he tried to hide it, when she saw the silent understanding and love simmering between Shashi and Garima even if they stood at opposite ends of the room, Anjali couldn't help but feel a pang of loneliness gnaw at her heart.

She remembered the days when Shyam would go to any lengths to spend time with her. His eagerness to marry her, which had thrilled her and made her feel so very special. She had been so certain that she had found her companion for life, and never imagined she'd see days like this - full of loneliness, frustration and regret. She hated the feeling of self-pity that seemed to be the only thing that gave her any solace. It was like a disease that was eating her up from within, making it more and more difficult each time she tried to put on a smile on her face.

What had she ever done to deserve this? She had been a good wife, a good friend, and a good daughter-in-law. She had embraced his family as her's and looked after them with affection and love. She had taken efforts to maintain what she and Shyam shared and cherished, making every compromise she could make to hold on to it, even when she could almost feel it drifting away from her - certain in her faith that it would all be worth it.

Now, she felt like she had been a fool. She hadn't realised when she had crossed the line between hope and delusional optimism. Had she come too far? Was it too late to take stock of her life? She wished her love for Shyam had diminished, that she too had been able to distance her heart from him. At least enough to be able to live her life on her own terms, to allow herself a moment of complete joy regardless of his presence or absence in her life. It was something no one could help her with; she'd just have to choose to be happy.

She looked up when she felt the cool droplets on her hand; the clouds were thicker now and there was a mild drizzle. She stretched her hands out to allow the cool water to drench her palms. It felt wonderful.

"Enjoying the rains, are we?" she heard Aakash's voice from the back as he entered the balcony. Coming to stand next to her, "You look so beautiful when you smile, Di.", he said softly.

Anjali pulled her hands back and briefly wiped them with her pallu as she turned to face her brother. He looked...relieved. "Has it really been so long?" she asked.

"I thought I'd never see you smile so bright ever again. You look...you look like my Di!" he chuckled and placed his hand on hers on the railing.

She knew her problems were no secret to her family. But it hit her for the first time how deeply her sorrow may have affected them. It surprised Aakash to even see her smile freely, and that was a disturbing thought. How had she allowed her life to come this point? Had she been so busy wallowing in self-pity and chasing the blind belief that Shyam could in fact be the husband she had hoped he'd be, that she hadn't seen what it had done to her family? There was nothing more painful that to watch your loved ones suffer and suffer at their own hands.

It had been intolerable to see Arnav in the weeks following Lavanya's death - the guilt, the pain, the doubts... She could only imagine what her brothers must have gone through watching her fight to make a marriage work with a man they considered worthless, to watch her give up on her dreams for the sake of the same man. She had told herself that it was a sacrifice she needed to make for marriage and deluded herself into believing that this perseverance was a sign of strength. In reality, for quite some time now, it was her reluctance to face the truth, the truth that her husband had let her down. That she had probably made the wrong choice. And when she finally decided to face the truth, the shroud of self-pity and regret had given her the comfort she needed. In all of this, she had somehow managed to overlook what her actions would do to her brothers and her grandmother. That she had managed to distance herself from all her friends and everybody else who mattered to her. Her Nani, who had raised her to be independent and strong like herself, like her own mother would have wanted to her to be - had she let her down?

That was another frightening thought; Anjali shuddered. No, she couldn't go on like this. She owed it to herself and to her family to at least hold herself together with some dignity, be happy and strong - a daughter who would make Devyani proud and a sister who would inspire her brothers to be stronger.

"Aakash", she said and turned to her brother. "I think I am going to go to UK. For that concert tour.", she said, her voice firm as she announced her decision.

Aakash wasn't sure if he heard it right. Clearly perplexed, he struggled to find his voice. "Wow! I mean...that's great! But.. how? Now? Suddenly?" he mumbled.

Anjali chuckled as she hugged her brother. "Because I want you to see me smiling more often." She took a step back and turned toward the railing, stretching her hands out one more time for the water to wet her hands. It was raining heavily now; she stood on her tiptoes and leaned forward so that the raindrops fell on her face as well, as if washing away everything that held her back. "This feels wonderful! Aakash you should also come try! You also love the rains, don't you?" she almost squealed in excitement.

The next instant, she saw Aakash join her as he too leaned forward from the raining to allow the water to drench his hands and his face. The joyous smile on his face told her, that after the longest time, she had finally made a right choice.

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"Look at Aakash and Di" Khushi pointed toward the balcony. "When was the last time we saw her do that?"

Arnav stared at the balcony; he smiled at the delightful sight. He knew Anjali loved the rains. As a child, she would insist on playing outside when it rained. And when Nani didn't allow that, she'd do this instead. Stand in the balcony with her hands stretched out, trying to get as much of the rainwater on her body as she possibly could while she was still indoors. She had done so for years and Nani had given up any hopes of her ever getting over the silly habit.

Then she got married and moved out. He hadn't noticed when or how she lost the habit, but she had. It was a delight to watch her do that again - smiling and happy and cheerful, like the girl he had always known, like the sister he had grown up with.

Khushi and he were standing at the far end of the room, near the door to the kitchen. He had wanted to drag her to his room but she was stubborn, so he'd brought her to the kitchen instead and kissed her to his heart's content. To his relief, Nani had sent Om Prakash out to run some errands, so the kitchen was all theirs at least until someone came looking for them. Khushi had the better sense to push him away after a few minutes and come outside; her biggest fear was that someday, Nani would catch them kissing. Or worse, having sex.

"I hope whatever put her in this mood is here to stay" Arnav said, still looking at the balcony.

"I hope everything about this evening is here to stay." said Khushi as she looked around the room, her eyes brimming with glee. "This...all of us together. Our families, happy and smiling. The rain. The cake! And most importantly, you. Your success, you presence in our lives." Unconsciously, she wound her arm around his and came closer.

"We'll host another one of these for your graduation, okay?" he suggested. The evening would end soon, but he wanted to give her another such occasion to look forward to before she left for the day. He wanted her to think about that when she went to bed that night, and not about the end of a beautiful day.

It didn't seem to lift her mood. "That is if I graduate. If Merchant has his way, I am not going to graduate in this lifetime." she hmph-ed. "The work will never end, and I need to schedule the site visit sometime next month and then theres more work and then I have to write and then the defence and Karthik has also been after me! Oh god this will never ever end, Arnav! What am I going to do?" she finally stopped to catch a breath.

When had she gone from happy to worried to downright frantic, he wondered. "It'll work out, Khushi" he patted her back awkwardly. These were the times it hit him that his girlfriend was still in college. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

"Plan in advance and take one day at a time, it'll get done" he reassured her.

"That's easier said than done, Arnav.", Khushi wasn't quite convinced.

"True that.", he sighed. "But it has to be done. As a matter of fact, even I'm feeling rather bulldozed with all the work."

"Really? I thought you'd have some time now that this case is over."

"This was just one case, Khushi. There are many more that are pending. Remember I told you about another case that I am taking over for Sinha? The hearing for that one will be scheduled for sometime in the next few weeks, I think. And there are some others I need to look into, not to mention the truck load of paper work I still need to get done."

"Oh...looks like you're going to be busy too. But its good in a way, I guess. You won't have time to miss me when I go for the site visit!" she winked.

Pulling her closer, "Yes, last time you went for the field trip I had all the bloody time in the world. I spend all that time either wallowing in guilt or missing you like a madman."

"Shh.."she placed her hand on his mouth to stop him. "Don't think about those days, Arnav. I was so upset that I had to leave you behind and go. If I had my way, I'd never have gone for that trip during that time. It was awful. But it's over now and we've all learnt our lessons, so I never want to think about it." she insisted.

"Alright, I won't. Happy?" he decided to let it go for her sake, at least for the time being. He could put it aside for a while, but the whole...episode - it wasn't something he could ever forget. It had shown him who his friends were and taught him some important lessons. His conversation with Payal, though unpleasant, had pushed him to think and find his way from the depths of diffidence to finding faith in himself and his abilities. She had managed to show him what he didn't even know he needed to explore. Her harsh words had made him realise just how hard he had been on himself. He'd be more kind now. He would learn to love himself better.

No, he couldn't forget about that case. Never.

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"You're going to catch a cold" Payal said as she entered the room; he had his back to her.

Aakash knew who it was even before he turned around. She stood there with a towel in her hand, silently offering it to him. He looked at her, but made no move to take the towel.

"Do you want me to dry your hair?" she asked as she moved toward him.

"No thanks" he said curtly. "And you should've knocked before you came in." Turning around, he fetched a towel from his wardrobe and began patting his hair dry; his movements rough and urgent.

Payal sighed as she folded the towel in her hand and placed it on the bed.

"You shouldn't be here." she heard him say. "They'll be looking for you outside."

"But I haven't been able to talk to you at all all evening Aakash. Or are you avoiding me?"

"Excuse me?" he almost barked and turned around with a jerk, his face reflecting the incredulity he felt. "I am avoiding you? You haven't had the courtesy to pick up a single call from me and you have the nerve to question me? This is unbelievable."

"I have been busy, Aakash. You know that. And I always return you calls as soon as I have the chance." she explained.

"Oh thank you, that's very kind.", sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Today you seem to have some time so you want me to be with you. Well guess what, I'm not in the mood today." he threw the towel carelessly on the bed, and wore his spectacles that were placed on the side table.

"Aakash that is unfair." she came to stand before him. "I was supportive when you were busy all those months working on your deal. Then why don't I get any understanding from your end?"

"You didn't complain then because you were busy making other plans" he spat.

"That's unfair." Payal said firmly as she felt herself losing her temper. It was unfair. She had tried her best to be supportive when he needed it, not wanting to add to his list of worries. That he felt she had been wrong in keeping something from him, she could understand. But for him to completely discredit her intentions was something she refused to accept.

"Why are you being so unreasonable? I know we have issues but why have you decided to find faults in everything I do? Busy making other plans! What the hell do you even mean? You know I applied a long time back and their response was as much a surprise to me as it was to you. You knew I was busy last week because I have my visa interview scheduled on Thursday. You don't bother even asking about that but you manage to spout accusations. Why are you making this more difficult than it already is, Aakash?"

Akash sighed in frustration and sat on the bed with a thump. He knew she was right, and that perhaps he was being unreasonable. But to him, his own anger wasn't unwarranted. He had decided to support her in her decision to go to Duke. But Payal seemed to have simply taken that as a green signal and go on with her life as if things were just... normal. Like there was no humungous event lurking over their lives, like things weren't about to change drastically, like their relationship didn't need any extra effort at this point... and that everything was now perfect as he had decided to do the right thing. Did she not treasure what they had? Was she being purposely thick, refusing to see what could happen to them and what needed to be done? He was tired of waiting for any sign, any effort from her end to tell him that she understood where her decision put their relationship, that it wasn't inconsequential. That she knew they'd now have to work doubly hard for them' to work. Whether it was obliviousness on her part or indifference, he didn't know. But he was tired of being the only person making an effort to make sure they didn't lose what they shared and drift apart.

He had spoken to her about his concerns to try make her see his side of things, but she had dismissed the whole thing and said he was thinking too much. That the fact they loved each other was enough. Why didn't she see that it wasn't so easy? Or did she not care at all? When she was willing to work tirelessly on her career without anyone having to tell her to do so, why couldn't she make the same efforts, or even a fraction of it, for the both of them to work things out?

On another day, he would have had the patience to explain things one more time. But not today. This was a happy day and a day to celebrate. What had started as an evening for Arnav, was turning out to be a special one for Anjali as well. He couldn't pinpoint what it was about but something momentous had happened and he couldn't have been happier. Aakash didn't want anything to taint the memories of this evening; he and Payal would be in the same place the next day and they could talk then.

He stood up and walked to her; she was still awaiting his response. He let out a deep breath and placed his palm on her cheek tenderly. "Not today, Payal. We'll talk tomorrow, okay? I want to have a good time today. I hope you do too." he smiled with some effort and turned to walk out towards the front room.

It took a few long minutes, but Payal too decided to let it go for the moment. They seemed to be specializing in procrastinating important conversations, she more than him. But then, he was right. This was a good day. She had been taken aback by Arnav's diatribe, but it had made her very happy to see him defend himself with such confidence for once in his life. She felt just a little less guilty now.

Yes, this was a good day. She'd get herself another piece of that cake.

People evolve over time...or does time change people? You showed through this update that the transition in people can be positive and negative.

I'm so glad for Anjali! And i envy the strong bond between siblings and the great understanding between Arnav and Kushi. Thank you!