Posted:
This is a story of a wall.
***
I never knew my father. And until recently I was never a son to my mother. Or rather, she wasn't a mother to me, her son.
And while it shouldn't be okay, it is.
***
All my life (whatever I could remember of it) I've always put them first. Them. M'lady and her three children. And whoever else mattered to them. That's life for me. Them first. And that is all there is to it.
When I was taken in, many, many years ago, adopted into a family of royal and money, I knew not that one day it shall come to my knowledge that it was all along intended for me to be taking over. Every last penny. Was planned very thoroughly and brutally, to be mine.
This mansion that I was given a place to stay at, has been my home for the longest of time now. But it is not mine really, to call. Still, this is the only home I know and shall forever be indebted to the royal M'lady for taking me in when I was nothing but a poor orphaned child, from an even poorer yateem khana.
I wasn't as poor for with me, I carried a dream. A dream of a family, a dream to belong. And that that dream were to come true was in itself a dream.
The royal family has all accepted me. However, I remain forever at their mercy. For not only did they give me a roof as a shelter, and education for a future, they gave me my dream. And a name. They are known as the family that took me in, and me as the lucky orphaned child. And I? I belonged.
At that age even, I knew what was showered upon me, the blessings and good clothes did not and should not come free. Thus begun my fulltime service for this family. And I was only too happy to oblige. Only too happy.
And it never mattered what's at stake, to me, they come first.
Always.
And for I always play the role of the go-getter, it has somewhat become an identity of sort to me. An identity I was only too willing to accept. Only too willing.
I have formed a rather formal relationship with the people in the house. And it has never been a problem, although, quite honestly, it does, sometimes, get to me when I'm treated lesser of a being than I really am. But never, never would I have ever shown even the slightest bit of anger or any other emotions for that matter to anyone. Anyone. Not even to myself. Because truthfully, I owe it to them for who I've become today. That's the only truth and that is all to it.
True, I'm always guarded, even truer I'm always suppressing my feelings, so much so that these days even my eyes are able to guard themselves. A true stoic I've become. But it matters not, for, what is not of concern to them is of no concern to me. Be it my feelings.
For, them first.
All indeed is good for me. And good to me. The people I pledge my allegiance to, the family I've treated as my own. Every relationship means something to me.
An even better relationship I have is with the eldest of M'Lady's children. The only male of the three children. Three children, for I was never one to begin with. Though I do regard them as siblings.
He, the eldest child is wild but trust me you, this is only a show. And a fantastic one. I know of his every whim. Every fancy. Every truth. And every last mask.
And my brother, is getting married.
***
The proposal.
At the beach. *ahem swimming pool ahem*
Billo Rani made herself known to all just that very moment Aahil proposed to Nida.
Masha Allah! Tannu makes her entry.
Ammi? Aahil really wasn't thinking when he proposed to Nida.
Yes yes YES!!
Allah ne hamari sunli. Aaj humari aarzoo poori hogayi. Main tum dono ke liye bahot khush hoon.
Tannu actually is very happy. Smiling away.
At least Nida has the decency to look (and be) surprised.
Hum jante hain , Tannu continues, having a purpose now, ke iss waqt tumhein kya mehsoos kar rahi hogi. Lekin tum toh Aahil ko bachpan se janti ho..uski itni poorani dost ho..usse ache tarha se samajhti ho ke woh kaisa hai. Unke dil me jo bhi hota hai, bina soche samjhe bol deta hai. Yes yes yes!!!
Bla Bla Bla .
Oh for a while now I've been having a dream. Aahil my son, I've always wished for you to be married. Lagta hai Allah ne humari dil ki aarzoo sun li.
Yes yes yes!
And then comes the voice of reason. Rehan.
And the reason of the hour: Jalbazi.
Aahil bhai. Rehan seems to say.
Don't do this.
Don't do this to yourself. This is nothing but a trap. Look at yourself. It is a day such as this that I wish you remember what you yourself believed in. Marriage is not for the likes of you. Surely I disagree. However, today. Today, Aahil bhai, today I wish you follow your ideals, your principle, your lifestyle and be the person you've become to the world. Today I wish you mock the institution of marriage. Today I wish you turn away from this selfish demand. Today I wish you be as ruthless as you paint yourself to be. For today they do not drown you, they push you up to the surface. For you're suffocating Aahil bhai. Choking. And this is not right.
Think about it. You who always tell me that you'd hive your life up smiling if that's what she asks of you, then why today when it is not even your life she's asking, why are you restless. Why are you depressed.
Aahil bhai. I wish you deny begum sahiba. Defy her just this once. This person you think the world of is not doing all this for you. Alas, nothing is for you Aahil bhai. Nothing. I wish you realise all this now. Don't do this to yourself Aahil bhai.
But Tannu is nothing if not cunning. No, no, NO. No jalbazi. Of course not. Take your time Nida beta. I know your answer will be yes but still. Do take time.
And Aahil? He's nothing if not loyal to his Ammi. Momma's boy? Hardly. More like momma's sacrificial goat. Too bad he knows not the game in which he's made to play.
Haan. Ya na?
Seemingly in a tight position herself, Nida said haan.
And the engagement happens. With an unsatisfied Nida *ring too simple* and an unwilling Aahil *giving his hand to Nida with deliberate slowness, and his fingers were not at all cooperative!*
However. Nida makes the mistake of getting on the wrong side of Tannu. Ammi Ammi Ammi, apparently that's all Aahil is concerned about, din raat, she says. Earning an eye roll from the ever stoic Rehan.
Aahil looks as if he'd rather be in a closet locked up. Poor thing.
And just as soon (maybe later?) as the function is over, Aahil took to himself to drink off all his miserableness. His misery.
But, he's destined to suffer tonight.
***
Rehan probably heard the shouting. Or the bottles breaking? If that's the case, didn't the rest of the household members hear the commotion?
Or maybe Rehan was just passing.
But it was during this time that a sobbing Sanam came running, and would have fallen too had Rehan not catch her in time thus breaking the fall. He then steadied her. And he realised that Sanam had tears in her eyes and is well, crying. He inadvertently looked up, where he could see an equally distraught Aahil, by the poolside, drinking away his sorrow. He started worrying.
He now made Sanam turn, facing him. Cupping her face, he wiped off her tears. And just as gently he asked- Kya hua?
Sanam shakes her head and let out a sob. Rehan couldn't help looking pained himself, it was as if he too could somehow feel the pain. He then looked up again, at Aahil, feeling every bit miserable.
Rehan's mind was running wild. Aahil is clearly suffering. And Sanam had to suffer the brunt.
He knew he had to do something. And there was only one person who could put a stop to all this.
***
Ab jab sare baatein teyh ho chuki hai, toh tum aise baatein kyun kar rahe hai?
Tannu seemingly annoyed by the situation asks, looking every bit the Begum Sahiba of the mansion. One thing she has most definitely improved from her early days is her sense of dressing. Anyway. Matter at hand.
Kyun ki yeh koi mamooli baat nahi hai Ammi!
My oh my! Who is this guy?
In a matter of two days we see him...feeling. *italic* And this is most definitely a rare sight. Who would have thought that the ever affable, the ever invisible Rehan Raza Ibrahim is capable of emotions. And that too dissatisfaction towards Begum Sahiba. Oh. But he's not speaking as that today.
Today he calls the Begum of this mansion Ammi. Would it be correct then, to say, that today, it is Rehan Imran Qureshi that speaks?
Oh. And he's not done yet. Far from it actually.
Aur..aur aap is tarah Aahil bhai ke upar koi abhi faisla toph nahin sakte!
*how could you even Ammi!*
Aur woh bhi nikah jaisa ahem faisla...
Saf nazar aata hai ke woh nahin karna chahte.
*C'mon Ammi, be reasonable!*
Tannu, slightly taken aback by the accusation directed towards her by her own son, tries to make him understand.
Shayad tumhein pata nahin hai Rehan..*stress added thereupon* lekin is nikah ke liye usne khud manzoori dhi hai.
Ammi please, Rehan pleads, mujhe yeh sahi nahi lag raha.
And just then. As if he finally really understood his mother's full plan-
Kahin apne jalbazi yeh sochthi nahin kar rahe ki...ek baar yeh sab kuch Aahil bhai ka ho gaya phir aap wasiat haasil karne ke liye koi aur rasta nikal lenge?
Has this been the plan the whole time? An here he thought he may have over analysed things. Aahil loves her with all his heart, he's willing to do anything for her, and he's doing too, except this time Rehan simply cannot have it in his conscience. Them first. But if this was Begum Sahiba speaking he would blindly agree, but this is his Ammi. Them first. He has for a very long time now swore allegiance to this family and he shall continue to do so.
Tannu, every bit agitated now replies.
Toh kya lag raha hai tumhein? Kya lag raha hai tumhein, beta? Ke yeh saare property hum kissi trust mein chale jane de?
Tumhein shayad pata nahin...lekin is jaydat ke liye humein bahot sari qurbaniyan dhi. Aur aise hi hum kissi aur ke haath mein isse nahin jane dengi.
Aur haan *Tannu points her finger, warningly* ek baat yaad rakhna! *even I'm scared now*
Iss jaydat ko hum apna khoon ke naam karwake rahenge!
But Rehan doesn't relent! Them first.
Bale iske liye Aahil bhai ki zindagi qurban hojayegi?
He tries to reason.
Ya Allah, Rehan! Tum hamesha itne jasbati kyun ho jati ho! Kyun ho jati ho Rehan! Tannu exasperated.
*with matters to do with Aahil, or the family- THEM first*
Hum Aahil ke saat kuch ghalat nahin kar rahe hai. Uski zindagi jaise chal rahe thi waise chalti rahegi. Kuch nahin badlega uski zindagi mein.
Woh jaisa biwi chahta tha woh aisi biwi mil rahe hai. Nida bilkul waise hi ladki. Aur uski dost abhi hai!
And again, the voice of reason. Dost hai unki..MOHABBAT nahin!
Tannu's limit is almost crossed now. Mohabbat? She scoffs.
Rehan, mohabbat ke liye nikah bewaqoof karte hai. Aur Aahil bewaqoof nahin hai *unhhh*
Aur hum jo kuch Aahil ke liye kar rahe hai...sab kuch teekh kar rahe hai, kuch ghalat nahin hai!
Rehan, still unyielding... Agar Aahil bhai ko kisse aur se pyaar ho gaya toh? *!!!*
Aisa kuch nahin hoga, Tannu says defiantly! Usse kabhi kissi aur seh mohabbat hogi hi nahin, yeh hum jaanthe hai, achi tareeqe se!
Ab jao! She turns away. So jao! Aur Aahil bhai ke liye itna pareshan hone ke liye mat hojao! Jao! Oh Tannu is pissed off!
Rehan leaves quietly.
Talking to Begum Sahiba was hopeless. Rehan simply cannot allow for Aahil bhai to further drown himself in misery. He's suffered a lot. But for the time being, some damage control is in order.
How can Rehan stop worrying? Aahil bhai had even made Sanam cry.
Sanam.
Sanam who's always held her ground in front of Aahil. Never before has he seen a person going up against Aahil bhai, and that to manage to keep her head held high. Face determined, never to falter. But today.
Today even Sanam suffers the burn from the fire that is within Aahil. How is she at fault. Sanam.
He has to do something.
Thanks for reading.
FaRz ⭐️
P/s I know it's late. And I can see some usuals very excited.
But I'm sorry maniacs. Today the Shehzadi speaks.
Dare you blame me.
Oh. This did come with a warning. A different kind. This post is, uh...for lack of a better word, proper? *less nonsense?* and as always, unbearably long.
***
I never knew my father. And until recently I was never a son to my mother. Or rather, she wasn't a mother to me, her son.
And while it shouldn't be okay, it is.
***
All my life (whatever I could remember of it) I've always put them first. Them. M'lady and her three children. And whoever else mattered to them. That's life for me. Them first. And that is all there is to it.
When I was taken in, many, many years ago, adopted into a family of royal and money, I knew not that one day it shall come to my knowledge that it was all along intended for me to be taking over. Every last penny. Was planned very thoroughly and brutally, to be mine.
This mansion that I was given a place to stay at, has been my home for the longest of time now. But it is not mine really, to call. Still, this is the only home I know and shall forever be indebted to the royal M'lady for taking me in when I was nothing but a poor orphaned child, from an even poorer yateem khana.
I wasn't as poor for with me, I carried a dream. A dream of a family, a dream to belong. And that that dream were to come true was in itself a dream.
The royal family has all accepted me. However, I remain forever at their mercy. For not only did they give me a roof as a shelter, and education for a future, they gave me my dream. And a name. They are known as the family that took me in, and me as the lucky orphaned child. And I? I belonged.
At that age even, I knew what was showered upon me, the blessings and good clothes did not and should not come free. Thus begun my fulltime service for this family. And I was only too happy to oblige. Only too happy.
And it never mattered what's at stake, to me, they come first.
Always.
And for I always play the role of the go-getter, it has somewhat become an identity of sort to me. An identity I was only too willing to accept. Only too willing.
I have formed a rather formal relationship with the people in the house. And it has never been a problem, although, quite honestly, it does, sometimes, get to me when I'm treated lesser of a being than I really am. But never, never would I have ever shown even the slightest bit of anger or any other emotions for that matter to anyone. Anyone. Not even to myself. Because truthfully, I owe it to them for who I've become today. That's the only truth and that is all to it.
True, I'm always guarded, even truer I'm always suppressing my feelings, so much so that these days even my eyes are able to guard themselves. A true stoic I've become. But it matters not, for, what is not of concern to them is of no concern to me. Be it my feelings.
For, them first.
All indeed is good for me. And good to me. The people I pledge my allegiance to, the family I've treated as my own. Every relationship means something to me.
An even better relationship I have is with the eldest of M'Lady's children. The only male of the three children. Three children, for I was never one to begin with. Though I do regard them as siblings.
He, the eldest child is wild but trust me you, this is only a show. And a fantastic one. I know of his every whim. Every fancy. Every truth. And every last mask.
And my brother, is getting married.
***
The proposal.
At the beach. *ahem swimming pool ahem*
Billo Rani made herself known to all just that very moment Aahil proposed to Nida.
Masha Allah! Tannu makes her entry.
Ammi? Aahil really wasn't thinking when he proposed to Nida.
Yes yes YES!!
Allah ne hamari sunli. Aaj humari aarzoo poori hogayi. Main tum dono ke liye bahot khush hoon.
Tannu actually is very happy. Smiling away.
At least Nida has the decency to look (and be) surprised.
Hum jante hain , Tannu continues, having a purpose now, ke iss waqt tumhein kya mehsoos kar rahi hogi. Lekin tum toh Aahil ko bachpan se janti ho..uski itni poorani dost ho..usse ache tarha se samajhti ho ke woh kaisa hai. Unke dil me jo bhi hota hai, bina soche samjhe bol deta hai. Yes yes yes!!!
Bla Bla Bla .
Oh for a while now I've been having a dream. Aahil my son, I've always wished for you to be married. Lagta hai Allah ne humari dil ki aarzoo sun li.
Yes yes yes!
And then comes the voice of reason. Rehan.
And the reason of the hour: Jalbazi.
Aahil bhai. Rehan seems to say.
Don't do this.
Don't do this to yourself. This is nothing but a trap. Look at yourself. It is a day such as this that I wish you remember what you yourself believed in. Marriage is not for the likes of you. Surely I disagree. However, today. Today, Aahil bhai, today I wish you follow your ideals, your principle, your lifestyle and be the person you've become to the world. Today I wish you mock the institution of marriage. Today I wish you turn away from this selfish demand. Today I wish you be as ruthless as you paint yourself to be. For today they do not drown you, they push you up to the surface. For you're suffocating Aahil bhai. Choking. And this is not right.
Think about it. You who always tell me that you'd hive your life up smiling if that's what she asks of you, then why today when it is not even your life she's asking, why are you restless. Why are you depressed.
Aahil bhai. I wish you deny begum sahiba. Defy her just this once. This person you think the world of is not doing all this for you. Alas, nothing is for you Aahil bhai. Nothing. I wish you realise all this now. Don't do this to yourself Aahil bhai.
But Tannu is nothing if not cunning. No, no, NO. No jalbazi. Of course not. Take your time Nida beta. I know your answer will be yes but still. Do take time.
And Aahil? He's nothing if not loyal to his Ammi. Momma's boy? Hardly. More like momma's sacrificial goat. Too bad he knows not the game in which he's made to play.
Haan. Ya na?
Seemingly in a tight position herself, Nida said haan.
And the engagement happens. With an unsatisfied Nida *ring too simple* and an unwilling Aahil *giving his hand to Nida with deliberate slowness, and his fingers were not at all cooperative!*
However. Nida makes the mistake of getting on the wrong side of Tannu. Ammi Ammi Ammi, apparently that's all Aahil is concerned about, din raat, she says. Earning an eye roll from the ever stoic Rehan.
Aahil looks as if he'd rather be in a closet locked up. Poor thing.
And just as soon (maybe later?) as the function is over, Aahil took to himself to drink off all his miserableness. His misery.
But, he's destined to suffer tonight.
***
Rehan probably heard the shouting. Or the bottles breaking? If that's the case, didn't the rest of the household members hear the commotion?
Or maybe Rehan was just passing.
But it was during this time that a sobbing Sanam came running, and would have fallen too had Rehan not catch her in time thus breaking the fall. He then steadied her. And he realised that Sanam had tears in her eyes and is well, crying. He inadvertently looked up, where he could see an equally distraught Aahil, by the poolside, drinking away his sorrow. He started worrying.
He now made Sanam turn, facing him. Cupping her face, he wiped off her tears. And just as gently he asked- Kya hua?
Sanam shakes her head and let out a sob. Rehan couldn't help looking pained himself, it was as if he too could somehow feel the pain. He then looked up again, at Aahil, feeling every bit miserable.
Rehan's mind was running wild. Aahil is clearly suffering. And Sanam had to suffer the brunt.
He knew he had to do something. And there was only one person who could put a stop to all this.
***
Ab jab sare baatein teyh ho chuki hai, toh tum aise baatein kyun kar rahe hai?
Tannu seemingly annoyed by the situation asks, looking every bit the Begum Sahiba of the mansion. One thing she has most definitely improved from her early days is her sense of dressing. Anyway. Matter at hand.
Kyun ki yeh koi mamooli baat nahi hai Ammi!
My oh my! Who is this guy?
In a matter of two days we see him...feeling. *italic* And this is most definitely a rare sight. Who would have thought that the ever affable, the ever invisible Rehan Raza Ibrahim is capable of emotions. And that too dissatisfaction towards Begum Sahiba. Oh. But he's not speaking as that today.
Today he calls the Begum of this mansion Ammi. Would it be correct then, to say, that today, it is Rehan Imran Qureshi that speaks?
Oh. And he's not done yet. Far from it actually.
Aur..aur aap is tarah Aahil bhai ke upar koi abhi faisla toph nahin sakte!
*how could you even Ammi!*
Aur woh bhi nikah jaisa ahem faisla...
Saf nazar aata hai ke woh nahin karna chahte.
*C'mon Ammi, be reasonable!*
Tannu, slightly taken aback by the accusation directed towards her by her own son, tries to make him understand.
Shayad tumhein pata nahin hai Rehan..*stress added thereupon* lekin is nikah ke liye usne khud manzoori dhi hai.
Ammi please, Rehan pleads, mujhe yeh sahi nahi lag raha.
And just then. As if he finally really understood his mother's full plan-
Kahin apne jalbazi yeh sochthi nahin kar rahe ki...ek baar yeh sab kuch Aahil bhai ka ho gaya phir aap wasiat haasil karne ke liye koi aur rasta nikal lenge?
Has this been the plan the whole time? An here he thought he may have over analysed things. Aahil loves her with all his heart, he's willing to do anything for her, and he's doing too, except this time Rehan simply cannot have it in his conscience. Them first. But if this was Begum Sahiba speaking he would blindly agree, but this is his Ammi. Them first. He has for a very long time now swore allegiance to this family and he shall continue to do so.
Tannu, every bit agitated now replies.
Toh kya lag raha hai tumhein? Kya lag raha hai tumhein, beta? Ke yeh saare property hum kissi trust mein chale jane de?
Tumhein shayad pata nahin...lekin is jaydat ke liye humein bahot sari qurbaniyan dhi. Aur aise hi hum kissi aur ke haath mein isse nahin jane dengi.
Aur haan *Tannu points her finger, warningly* ek baat yaad rakhna! *even I'm scared now*
Iss jaydat ko hum apna khoon ke naam karwake rahenge!
But Rehan doesn't relent! Them first.
Bale iske liye Aahil bhai ki zindagi qurban hojayegi?
He tries to reason.
Ya Allah, Rehan! Tum hamesha itne jasbati kyun ho jati ho! Kyun ho jati ho Rehan! Tannu exasperated.
*with matters to do with Aahil, or the family- THEM first*
Hum Aahil ke saat kuch ghalat nahin kar rahe hai. Uski zindagi jaise chal rahe thi waise chalti rahegi. Kuch nahin badlega uski zindagi mein.
Woh jaisa biwi chahta tha woh aisi biwi mil rahe hai. Nida bilkul waise hi ladki. Aur uski dost abhi hai!
And again, the voice of reason. Dost hai unki..MOHABBAT nahin!
Tannu's limit is almost crossed now. Mohabbat? She scoffs.
Rehan, mohabbat ke liye nikah bewaqoof karte hai. Aur Aahil bewaqoof nahin hai *unhhh*
Aur hum jo kuch Aahil ke liye kar rahe hai...sab kuch teekh kar rahe hai, kuch ghalat nahin hai!
Rehan, still unyielding... Agar Aahil bhai ko kisse aur se pyaar ho gaya toh? *!!!*
Aisa kuch nahin hoga, Tannu says defiantly! Usse kabhi kissi aur seh mohabbat hogi hi nahin, yeh hum jaanthe hai, achi tareeqe se!
Ab jao! She turns away. So jao! Aur Aahil bhai ke liye itna pareshan hone ke liye mat hojao! Jao! Oh Tannu is pissed off!
Rehan leaves quietly.
Talking to Begum Sahiba was hopeless. Rehan simply cannot allow for Aahil bhai to further drown himself in misery. He's suffered a lot. But for the time being, some damage control is in order.
How can Rehan stop worrying? Aahil bhai had even made Sanam cry.
Sanam.
Sanam who's always held her ground in front of Aahil. Never before has he seen a person going up against Aahil bhai, and that to manage to keep her head held high. Face determined, never to falter. But today.
Today even Sanam suffers the burn from the fire that is within Aahil. How is she at fault. Sanam.
He has to do something.
Thanks for reading.
FaRz ⭐️
P/s I know it's late. And I can see some usuals very excited.
But I'm sorry maniacs. Today the Shehzadi speaks.
Dare you blame me.
Oh. This did come with a warning. A different kind. This post is, uh...for lack of a better word, proper? *less nonsense?* and as always, unbearably long.
Cricket
Current Affairs
