Raman searched for Ishita in the party hall and could not find her anywhere. He was already feeling a little drunk and was annoyed that he now has to search Ishita. He called and texted her and did not receive an answer.
He went outside to see if she is there and Ishu was sitting on the bench staring into space. He noticed the phone in her hands so it became obvious to him that she purposefully didn't answer her call or text. He walked up to her.
Raman: What the hell is wrong with you? I been searching for you for an hour all over and I have been calling you and texting you and you decide to not answer?
Ishita gets startled and wipes her tears and looks at Raman. She told him she didn't feel like staying inside the party. She wanted to go home but didn't want to disturb Raman and she didn't have money in her clutch.
Raman: You are Ms. Independent. You could have walked home. May be you could have lost weight like that.
Ishita looked at him with a dejected face. Yeah, he always jokes about her being Jhansi Ki Rani and about her weight but today she has had enough. She could not take his taunts. She turned her face away from him and stared into space and was trying hard to control her tears.
Raman: Why didn't you feel like staying inside?
Ishita: What place do I have amongst your old friends? I am just the new wife. I should have never come to the party.
Raman : What the hell are you talking about Ishita? If you want to say something say it straight instead of speaking in code.
Ishita: Nothing Raman. Just leave me alone.
He holds her face and tells her turn towards him as he is speaking to her. She pushes his hands away and with anger in her face tells him to just leave her alone. Raman never saw this anger in Ishita's face. It was not just anger. It was a look of disappointment and dejection but he could not figure out the reason.
Raman: So, you are just going to stay here?
Ishita picks up her phone and calls Bala Jiju. She asked him he if could come pick her up. He is the only one that she could call and would not ask her questions or blow it out of proportion. Bala asked her if everything is allright.
Raman: Why are you troubling Bala?
Raman grabs the phone and tells Bala that they are just having a little disagreement and they will sort out and he doesn't have to come. He reassured her that he will take her home. Raman wanted to talk to Ishita about what happened but they are in a party and people are coming in and out and he did not want to have this discussion there. Shagun watches them like a hawk and he doesn't want her to witness their fight.
Raman holds his hand out -"let's go home". She gets up and asks for the keys-"you are not sober so you shouldn't be driving. I will drive and please save any comments about my driving skills because I am seriously not in the mood. Raman responds- "fine" and drops the keys in her palm and walks to car and sits in the passenger seat. Ishita adjusts the seat and mirror and starts driving. There was an awkward silence between each other and Raman was trying to think of ways to break the silence and yet he couldn't.
Amidst the pindrop silence in the car all of a sudden both of them heard a noise. It was Raman's stomach making hunger noises and he held on to his stomach. It kept on making noises. He tells her to stop the car immediately and opens the door and throws up on the road. Ishita places her hand on Raman's shoulder and starts squeezing it tenderly. She looks for water bottle in the car and there was none. She gives him a tissue to wipe his face. Raman closes the car door and tells her she can start driving.
Ishita: Did you eat anything in the party? You didn't eat anything all day because you were running around and then you drink alcohol on empty stomach.
Raman: Ishita, I don't want a lecture from you right now.
Ishita sighs. "Anything I say sounds like a lecture to you. Anyways, do you want to grab some food?"
Raman nods in silence and Ishita stops at Subway. Both of them sit there and eat in silence and have a quiet trip home. Raman called Bala to assure him that they came home. Raman sat on the bed and called Mihir. Ishita went into the bathroom to change. When she was washing her face the whole conversation between Raman and Shagun played out in her ears and the tears that she was trying so hard to control did not stop. She turned on the shower so that Raman could not hear her cry. She cried her heart out and walked out of the bathroom. Raman knew what she was doing inside but he wanted to give her some space. He could see her eyes red and cheeks flushed. She was getting the comforter out of the cupboard so that she could fall asleep on the sofa. Raman got off the bed and grabbed her arms and led her to the sofa. He sat next to her.
Raman: Ishita, I am not good at reading clues. Something happened at the party which upset you. So please tell me what happened?
Ishita: Why did you marry me Raman? You knew I cannot become a mother and if you had hopes of becoming a dad again why did you say yes to marrying me? Yes, we married for Ruhi but you knew the circumstances and yet you said yes.
Raman realized she heard the conversation between him and Shagun.
Raman: So, you heard my conversation with Shagun?
Ishita sat there with no response.
Raman: Ishita that is not what I meant when I said I couldn't become a dad again. That conversation was not about you.
Ishita: What else could it mean Raman?
Raman holds Ishita's hand: Ishita, listen to me. We never really talked about this but the issue that you cannot have a child has no bearing on how I feel about you or us. You cannot just define yourself by the fact that you can't bear a child. That is not the only thing about you Ishita. If you want a child there are so many treatments that could be done to get pregnant. And do not ever say you cannot become a mother. You are already a mother to Ruhi, Ishita. You did not give birth to Ruhi but you give her the love that even her birth mother cannot give her. So, what difference does it make if you can give birth to a child or not? You are raising our daughter with more love than her birth mother could. You are an amazing person Ishita. You are loving and I have never met anyone that is as selfless as you. So please stop thinking that there is something wrong with you or you have a limitation because you have so much more that defines you. And I am sorry if it came across like that when I said that Shagun but I really did not mean it like that. What I was trying to say was that I already have two kids and what are the chances of me having a third one. So, I am sorry that I hurt you but believe me I do not consider the fact that you cant have a child as a liability about you.
Ishita: But do you feel stuck with me? We married for Ruhi and you and me don't share a relationship. You told Shagun today that you will never forget the joy she gave you and the moments when you had you were together. Do you miss those moments?
Raman: Shagun is my past Ishita. I don't have any feelings about her now. How could you even think I miss being with her. And as far are as you and me. Ishita- a relationship is not just about sleeping with each other. We do have a relationship. Why do you think I treat your parents as mine and treat mine as yours? Why are we so invested in each other's lives? We are not sitting here talking about Ruhi everyday. We are intertwined with each others lives and I cannot imagine a day without you in my life. We share a special bond and the fact that we don't have a physical relationship does not change that. You know something? Me and Shagun obviously had a physical relationship but I never had the feeling of content with her. I was never happy and always felt like I was missing something. I am content with you Ishita. I am happy being with you. You complete me. You make me a better person. I don't know if you realize but we are way past the premise on what we said we got married for-sirf Ruhi ke liye. This is not just about Ruhi Ishita. It's about you and me. It's about us. Why do you think Shagun is jealous of you? She sees that you complete me in a way she has not and you really do complete me
Raman wipes the tears off her face.
Ishita: I just don't want you to resent me later Raman. I can't give you a gift like Shagun did.
Raman: Paagal, I will never resent you. Yeah we will have our disagreements and fights but which couple doesn't. A relationship is about dealing with person's weaknesses and strengths and making the best out of it and that is what we are doing. And you have already given a better gift than Shagun ever did, Ishita. You made me into a better person. I was lost with Ruhi and strengthened my bond with Ruhi. That's the biggest gift anyone has ever given me and you gave me that.
So get all these fears out of your head. We are in this together for the long run and I couldn't have been married to a better person.
Raman holds out his arm Ishita and says "come here" He gives her a reassuring hug. He tries to break the hug because he doesn't know if Ishita is comfortable but Ishita doesn't break away and both of them sit there in embrace of each other. Ishita finally releases herself from his arms.
Raman: Acha suno..You don't have to sleep on the sofa from today. You can sleep on the bed. We are adults and nothing is going to happen just because we share the bed. How long are you going to keep sleeping on the sofa?
Ishita agrees and settles herself on the bed. Raman realizes he has to change but feels too lazy to go to the bathroom.
Raman: I am going to change here, so close your eyes.
Ishita smiles and closes her eyes and covers them with her hands.
Raman: Oye no peeking.
Ishita: Raman, it's not like I am dying to see you naked.
Raman: So you do want to see me naked but just not dying.
Ishita: Raavan Kumar kahin ka. Are you done?
Raman: haan I am done.
Raman settles himself on the bed and pulls the sheets over both of them. He asks Ishita to give him her hand and she obliges. He turns to her. "Thank you for coming into my life Ishita. Everyone in the party kept telling me I never looked this happier and I can say damn well that you are the reason for that."
Ishita smiles "Thank you for bringing you and Ruhi into life as well."
Ganesh Kartikeya
