Dedicating it to my sweetheart friend Rinu (Reminiscence). She is one fiesty girl, whose spirits I really admire. She is cute, witty, sexy and adorbs, all at the same time, and has done a PhD. in ARC (Adult Rated Conversations) xD. And I Love her for all that! Rinu, I can't write as well as you, but still, this one is for you girl :*
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Inspired from my close friend who called Randhir an 'obnoxious jerk'. Yes I still love her and she is still alive LOL. But I had to vent out somewhere! So here it goes.
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"Jerk! That is what he is. An obnoxious jerk!" Kaustuki shrieked at the top of her lungs, which was very unlike her. " Do you even realise what you just said, Sanyukta? In love? With that guy? You must be joking!" She uttered that' as if it was some dirty word.
"No Kaustuki. I am dead serious. I know what I am talking about. I know I am in love with Randhir, and nothing and no one can change that." Sanyukta replied calmly, her moist eyes a dead giveaway of how much Kaustuki's words had hurt her. She knew this was about to happen. She knew she had to open up to Kaustuki one day. And she knew in advance how Kaustuki's reaction would be to all this. But nothing can prepare a girl to face disapproval of friends regarding her decisions and choices, and nothing had prepared Sanyukta for facing the situation she was in right now.
"But why him, Sanyukta? Why him, when you can get any other decent and less screwed up guy? Why choose such a...difficult person like him, when you can be with someone who is easier to be with?" Kaustuki chose her words carefully.
Why. Why indeed. Sanyukta knew this argument was useless. Sanyukta knew that even if Kaustuki knew about Randhir's past, she will never look past the fact that Randhir is not a girl's idea of a prince charming. Sanyukta knew that Kaustuki will never rise above hate and see the gem of a person Randhir is. Sanyukta knew that Kaustuki was not sensitive enough to see what Sanyukta could see. Maybe very few people were there who had the eyes and the heart to accept Randhir for what he is. Very few were there who would realise the effort Randhir is putting to mend his faults. Very few were strong enough to give him the love he desperately needs. Very few.
Sanyukta walked out of her room. This conversation was over for her. She knew she had taken the high road, the road less travelled; and she is alone in this journey. Alone, like she had been in every other journey; her journey of engineering. Well wishers came and went. But only Randhir had supported her in the real sense. Yes, he had been a jerk initially. But that was a thing of the past. Now Randhir was that pillar for her, which she had always wanted. Inspiring, dependable. He pushed her towards her dreams even then. And he continues to do that now. Just that the hatred had given way to love. The other things had always been there. But she knew she could never make others understand all that. She did not expect them to understand the deep, unspoken bonding she and Randhir shared.
As she walked throughthe college corridors, her mind wandered off to the day she had spent time with his mom, her ultimate inspiration, Renuka Sanyal.
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"...and amidst my commitment to my work to secure a better future for us, fueled by the manipulations and brain washing of his father, I lost the love of my only son ." finished Renuka. Her dried tears had stained her cheeks, as new ones threatened to fall. For that brief moment she was not the sucessful industrialist, Renuka Sanyal, anymore. She was just a hopeless, hapless mother; desperate to earn her spot back in her son's life. "Try not to hate him too much, Sanyukta. I know he makes things difficult for you. I know he does things which are awefully wrong at times. But the actual Randhir amidst all that hatred and war is just an innocent kid, victimised of neglect. " she looked pleadingly towards the young girl sitting in front of her. Renuka wished she could tell her what it felt to pour her soul out to another person, how much thankful she was to her for simply listening to her story. Renuka, wrapped up in her corporate world, hardly got a chance to meet people like her.
Sanyukta pressed Renuka's hands gently, a sign of reassurance, that Renuka definitely needed. But no matter how strong she was pretending to be, but she was herself getting eaten up from inside. She and Renuka were much similar in this matter. They rarely let their outer facade give away the storm going on inside.
" Agar barah saal se baat nahi kiya hain, toh ab kyun nahi kar lete?" her own words echoed in her mind as her heart wrenched in response. So she had it afterall. A heart. The piercing , lingering pain was a proof of that. Because the more she remembered the day when Randhir had confessed his mother-issues to her, the more she got convinced of her own heartlessness. How easily she had said those words, not for once thinking about how Randhir will feel. Sanyukta was so blinded by her hatred for him, so convinced that Randhir was the villian of her story, so sure that he was nothing but a chauvinist; a shallow , thoughtless chauvinist ,that she couldnot see anything beyond that. She forgot those moments when Randhir had genuinely helped her, when he was actually trying to be good to her, when he was honestly caring for her . She did not consider him human at all.
But was she to be blamed for that? Had not Randhir tried her patience too much? Did he not always hit her where it hurts? Did he have right to always be so cold hearted towards everyone, whatever his past maybe?Is he not always hell bent on making everyone hate him?
Making everyone hate him.
So was that it? His defense strategy? A pathetic attempt to hide his vulnerability? Making himself so unapproachable so that ordinary people don't get too close to him?
Ordinary people.
People who believe in only what they see. People who love others only at a condition - goodness'. People who will leave you at the blink of an eye if that condition is not fullfilled, not bothering to look beyond the obvious.People who rarely bother about the feelings of others. People who rarely have the capability to handle their companions at their worst.
So had she become an ordinary girl? She had always taken pride in the fact that she had some really good friends whom she had always given emotional support when they needed it. Had she lost that quality of hers? Was she now just a normal teenager squabbling for her own space. Was she now just...ordinary?
But had she been so ordinary, how would one explain her hopelessly falling for him? How could one explain a feminist like her blooming feelings for someone like him? Maybe she was not that blind afterall. Maybe she was too smart to be duped by that false facade of his. Maybe she was sensitive enough to notice his acts of chivalry that he never cared to show off. And whatever little hesitations there was left regarding her feelings, Renuka Sanyal had put them to rest.
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Maybe earlier she reacted the way she did because we don't come across people like Randhir everyday. Maybe because, Randhir was different. Too intricate to understand, sometimes. Too easily misjudged . Too easily misunderstood. Too layered to be grasped by everyone. Too deep. Too intense. Too special to let go. Someone who is worth fighting for. __________________________________________________________
A pair of delicate hands grabbing her torso from behind snapped her back to reality. Kaustuki.
"I am sorry Sanyukta. I know I said some really mean things back there. But you must understand, I care for your well being. I just wanted to make sure you do not end up like me. Choosing the wrong guy. I do not want you to end up hurting."
"Don't I know that Kaustu?" Sanyukta hugged back. " I know that you mean well. But I just want a little lenience from you. Nothing else." She smiled. "I know I can heal him, her eyes sparkled with a never-seen-before passion. "I will fix his heart. I will give him all the love he deserves. I will make him see beyond hate. I will make him a better person. "
Kaustuki smiled at Sanyukta, as her mind repeated for the thousandth time, "Typical Sanyukta Aggarwal' behaviour. Wanting to achieve the the impossible"
"Its not impossibe, you know" said Sanyukta thoughtfully, as if reading her thoughts. " My life in general has always been a challenge. And my love life is also going to be like that. But I cannot give up just because it is difficult. I will fight. I know I am strong enough, I know I am a fighter." Her eyes yeilded pure emotions. " I will make us happen. I will make us work. Then the world will see and think Damn! This girl really means what she says.' Just wait and watch, Kaustuki. " And she smiled that breathtakingly beautiful smile of her.
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So that was it. Very silly and impulsive no? I know xD . Can't help.
Thanks For Reading.
Stay Blessed.
Sweta <3