Our Biases become us - Page 7

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

Adoptive parents love their children as much as biological parents do, no disputing that (barring cases of adoptive parents that turn abusive). But that love is formed by a different manner, not in the same as that of biological parents. My argument was a comparison between a BIOLOGICAL father and a BIOLOGICAL mother here. Notice the emphasis on "instincts". The motherly instinct is instant in the case of biological mothers, it is "developed" in case of adoptive ones.

On fathers, read my post again.

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

My answer to that point (absentee father vs. mother) would be:
Both are wrong, but in the mother's case, it is defying her instincts so it is wronger than the father. That does not mean I'd forgive an absentee father though.

Originally posted by: reeha...k

I'm still not following what the point of your argument is in terms of the posts initial question:

Are you claiming that society's different expectations and reactions are based on the the biological bond of a mother vs. a biological bond of a father with their child?

Also, I'd like to add that plenty of biological parents can and are abusive as well, regardless of their wonderful biological bond.

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

Of course. Lots of mothers are abusive and even kill their children in cold blood. But then, those are grossly abnormal examples. If you're talking about controlling behaviour/misjudgment on the part of a mother, then that is a different thing.

As for the bold part, the answer is "Yeah". A resounding one. 😆

Originally posted by: reeha...k

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked the post, and I very much liked reading your response. Very valid points. And I don't think you're being judgemental there is a fundamental difference between ideologies of individuals I'd say conservative and liberal rather than conservative and modern though, because most Conservatives like modern things, just not liberal ideas 😆.

To be honest, whatever Mala's reason's for leaving she wouldn't be easily forgiven by me personally, my issue is with the constant double standard seen between mothers and fathers in terms of expectations. And I'm glad you caught onto that, it's not about her reasons being right or wrong, or justifying her actions: I don't think anyone here is claiming her to be a saint or right, but rather pointing out the bias we hold even as females towards the entire experience and association of motherhood.

Originally posted by: evenjleena28

True agree conservatives vs liberals. Its the ideology that makes them different, although any society does believe in the notion of innocent until proven guilty😉

Bingo!!! I want it to be very good reason as well. Does it justify her actions? perhaps not but it is very hard to say without seeing it. Society has this set standards, its very black and white and that is the problem.

I haven't watched the show today yet so reserving my two cents but did they gave any explanation for her runner act?

Originally posted by: reeha...k

I haven't watched either, or caught the WU, but from the sounds of it, she literally did leave him for Tejawat, and that is making me sad, because in my book that's a pretty damn shallow reason for leaving

That's not good if that is the case what I am finding it hard to understand is that wasn't this show supposed to be semi likeness of Othello? why are they kind of pointing it towards Oedipus? I watched couple of scenes but will re watch it again. How bizzare to do it, because you are right it is a shallow reason. How did she fell for him though? wasn't she a stay at home mom, no education? so many questions and not enough answers.

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

I'm afraid I cannot agree. The role and connection of a mother to her offspring is not merely societal; but biological. Whether we like it or not, the child is much closer to his/her mother than the father; simply because of the fact that it was the former that had bore and nourished it for nine months in her womb. The connection, care and protectiveness a mother feels for her child is instinctive, there's a reason most girls yearn for dolls and play "House" in their childhood. Studies have shown that when girl children were given sticks instead of dolls to play with, they wrapped them (sticks) in cloth and held them close to their chests, cooing and cuddling them. The mother-child bond is an instinctive one, it cannot be brought down to mere societal conditioning. And contrary to that, the father-child relationship is a FORMED one, a forged one, not instinctive. Seen in that light, its the father-son relationship that is "societal", not the mother-son/child one.

On Mala, nope, its not a crime to leave your husband if he's oppressive/the marriage is loveless, but can ANYTHING in the world justify leaving a son? A twelve-year old boy to whom his mother means the world, was it not as cruel as MURDER to ditch him one day? What was her son's fault in this? I know, I know we don't know the full story yet, but I don't think it would be possible to justify Mala's actions like this.

I'll appreciate answers. Thanks in advance.