Darkness [Mala] 05/28

The image of Mala as she lay there on the floor all broken was very telling. This one is for her.

I wrote this after the last scene on Wednesday's episode before the Thursday episode aired. After the watching the episode I'm not sure that Mala even realizes how she has harmed her son.

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Darkness

05/28

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I close my eyes and seek refuge in the darkness of my own making trying to weave together all the little pieces of memories that I hold in my palms so that it brings light into my world. Every attempt takes me a step closer but never quite there...

Strange how the darkness within the crevices of my mind lends me a canvass to attempt this while the light of the day robs me of the same. I don't know if I wake up when I close my eyes or whether I've been sleeping all along with wide open eyes, I don't know. I simply know now, I've lost everything and I have no one but myself to blame.

But even in this despair, your voice comes through from far distant corners sending tiny tremors of joy in my colorless world and me give me hope. Are you still the same today - my little boy full of joy?

My body feels weary and tired, bruised and battered as I lay here disgraced, fallen in my own eyes. Strangely the physical blow feels nothing to what I feel in my heart - the pain as it cuts through my soul. Weighed down by everything, falling seems appropriate for me.

I've blocked all images of things that don't matter, like the man I was tied to, or your father and even other people whom I've met along the way. The life that I've lived, was a lie I know now and that tells me, I don't know whats real anymore. Except you - the only truth in my life, and ironicaly I've hurt you the most.

I wish to die but I cannot do so until I apologize to you, for everything that I've done and for all the times that I wasn't there. Will you ever forgive me? Will you listen to me, if I try and explain?

I don't even know what you look like today. That perhaps is my biggest punishment, if you were to stand before me here now, I'd still have no idea, its you!

Son will you ever forgive me, if you see me today? Can you be the bigger person...than your mother ever was?

Originally posted by: Jaz1990

This is such a powerful piece on Mala's point of view! Awesome !

Originally posted by: shutter

A very insightful piece on Mala's state right now!!!! Wonderful... 👏

Mala is reaping the fruits of her own sowing and she has no one to blame but her!!!!! Her fallen and shattered image was so terrible to see...

Originally posted by: aruni50218

Brilliant. I hope that is the only thing Mala can ever ask for from Rudra - forgiveness before she dies.