I went outside to go for a walk. It had been a while since I had got the chance to take in some fresh air. Since Bhopal I never really got the chance to go outside and enjoy the beauty of the world. I never really noticed, but I have been so contained in my new home in Mumbai that I really never got the chance. I had hoped that everything would go very fairy tale like when I would get married but it seems like everything is so tangled. Well I guess this is reality.
It is dark outside but I like it. More than being afraid of the people that an hurt me I want to take this chance to sit at the park bench and just glare at the stars. It's such a starry night, and everything seems perfect. The winds breeze is refreshing and silence is all I need. The only thing that could make this better is just a little company. Ya Allah, I never thought I would be so alone after marriage. Growing up I always believed that my husband would be loving me and with me everywhere I go, but nothing seems to be like that. Zain seems to want to not even try to be with me or even close to being just a friend. He thinks so low of me. With this thought I close my eyes from the fear of having my tears escaping from my eyes. Oh how much different reality seems to be.
With my eyes closed I feel another presence beside me. I open my eyes and tears escape. Turning my head I see him, Zain.
"Alliya, what are doing at a park in the middle of the night. Because of you, dad made me come searching all over town to find you. You even left your phone at home."
I said nothing, but just turned my head away from him. It was already enough that I was thinking of my life but to have him come ranting at me was not what I needed.
"Hey mamu ki bhanji, I am talking to yo-" He stopped at the falling of my tears. This is not a moment when I wanted to cry. Not in front of him. I just can't stop now. My emotions seem to feel everywhere right now. "Alliya." His voice changed from his regular annoyance to concern. "Are you okay?"
I took a deep breath in. "No" It was the only thing I had to say. He put his hand on my shoulder and I looked back at him. He looked concerned and at a loss of words.
"Is there anything I can do."
"Not really Zain. You can't change my life."
"You're right, I can't change it, but that doesn't mean I can't help you feel a bit better." He made me get up and look right at him. "Yaar if you cry, what will I do. Mami ki bhanji, mera tho band hi baj jaega ghar ja kai" I giggled
"Woh tho hai" We both laughed, and it felt as though my night just got a lighter. All this weight I had been dragging along with me seemed to feel a bit relaxed.
The breeze got stronger and I began to shiver. Zain took off his jacket and put it around me. I looked at him. This is the same man I can barely breathe with at home and now he seems like a sort of gentleman.
"Thank you." Is all say.
He smiled and said "Well I don't know about you mami ki bhanji but I am really hungry. Lets go eat" I smiled and nodded.
Although my life seems to be a wreck, I think there still may be some hope.
