Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

The exit Strategy:

Bharmal has made preparations for Jodha's exit within 2 minutes of her statement...faster than the US army would respond to a national emergency...👏👏...At the gate the entire Ameri parivar begs Jodha with folded hands to leave ..."Plz ..jo,jao na..crying hugging sab ho gaya...now we need a break...ab jaake shehenshah to tang karo" Finally Jo sits in the palanquin..

As the palanquin is leaving she peeps out and Dadisa s heart skips a beat, "Nooo...Ambe maa,is she going to jump out again..If she does,mere pran yahi le lo😡😡...I'd rather rot in hell than listen to "Jodha's jumbo junkies again"..."...Ambe Maa takes pity on Dadisa and gets Jo stuck the palki..Jo is left peeping at Dadisa but unable to jump out..Thank Ambe Maa for small mercies...⭐️⭐️

Mera Piya ghar aaya O ramji:

Jallu completely loses his sense of balance on hearing about Jo's arrival...He wants to do a welcome dance for Jodha by dancing to "mera piya ghar aaya o ramji" and has even got all the costumes ready😲...but thankfully todarmal stops him😛...Jallu then calls all his khas ppl for allocation of work

Jallu to Atgah:

Jallu :Send two soldiers to find out the exact longitude and latitude of Jo begum...ask them to inform me of her status every two minutes...

Atgah:But shehenshah...yeh kaise ho sakta hai?It will take them 2 hours to get here from there ..how will they inform u every two minutes?

Jallu:I don't care...think u idiot.. ...Ask two soldiers to leave agra every two minutes...that way they will form a chain...and give real time updates...😲😲

Atgah(thinking and furiously trying some calculations) :two soldiers every two minutes..matlab kitne soldiers chahiye honge...physics mein padha tha ki speed = distance x time...but yahan to stupidity of shehenshah has multipled with distance and time.oh god...is paagal Shehenshah se mujhe bachao...plz Abul Mali se Agra pe hamla karwao..Allah..plz

Mansingh is secretly laughing at Atgah's predicament...😆😆😆"Bola tha maine...is paagal ka zyada help mat karoo.tumko bhi le doobega..."

Jallu to Mansingh: Mansigh,next ..ur turn:..

Mansingh: "Whaaa...😲...maine kya kiya...main to durbar mein bhi chup chaap baitha rehta hoon..why me???"

Jallu :C'mon Mansingh, Be a man...Go meet Jodha begum halfway and bring her here...If u manage to actually bring her here without getting shouted at by her even once, I'll give u a double promotion..U can sit in a chair that is 2 cm higher and 3 cm wider ...👏👏👏

Mansingh: Ek kursi ke liye itna kuch..😉......Oh god...I shld listen to buasa's bhaashaans all alone...Shehenshah, shaadi aapne ki hai...side effects bhi aapko milne chaiye ...mujhe kyon beech mein la raho ho...

Jallu to Shareefu:

Jallu : Shareefu, Go and decorate the palace...

Shareefu:Main..aur decorate...😲😲.mujhe to sirf Abul Mali ko decorate karna aata hai...

Jallu:Koi baat nahin..the audience loved the innovative hairstyle of Abul Mali..aise hi palace ko bhi decorate karo⭐️⭐️

Shareefu:Par itne saare brooms itne short notice mein kahan se laaon...😔😔

Jallu To Todarmal

Jallu: Todarmalji, Aap plz saare idiots ko supervise kijiye

TM(thinking) : Does that include you too?😡😡

Mummy Mummy...I am happy happy

Jallu....: ammi jaan ko batata hoon...Mummy Mummy pata hain..Jodha begum wapas aa rahi hain

HB: Gud beta..ab hum dono milke tumhe daantenge aur maaregne..bahut mazaa aayega...😡😡😡

Jallu to SB..."aap ke immediate demotion ho jaata hai..i don't need your 25 paise ka advice anymore..Jo wil give me 1 paise ka advice and free taanas from now on..."

sb: So what do I do shehenshah

Jallu:You become the official room decorator of Agra..go clean and decorate all the rooms NOW

HB:And u also become Agra's official pincher..whenever I start dreaming with my eyes open,hume chutki kaato...

SB:How am I supposed to know when u r dreaming? u dream most of the time.😡😡.safe side ek machar ko employ kar leti hoon.🤔...kar 5 second mein chutki kaattha rahega⭐️⭐️

Khabar din bhar

Soldier to Jalal:Jodha begum is drinking water near Agra..

Jalal:What..gr8 news..take my ring😃😃😃

Soldier to JalalJodha begum has eaten 1 piece of roti

Jalal:Wow...brilliant take my chain👏

Soldier to JalalJodha begum is chewing the roti

Jalal:Devi Maa..mere khuda..I am blessed ..Jodha begum is chewing rotis just 5 miles from Agra..Agra is blessed now..I will make a temple at that spot where Jodha begum sat and ate rotis...work will start there tomorrow...🥳🥳

Soldier to Jalal: Jodha begum is shouting at Mansingh

Jalal: Oh wow..lucky fellow...tomorrow onwards,she will start yelling at me also...

But Tonight I'll somehow manage...what do I do...haan skype pe baat karte hain😃😃😃

Jodha and Jalal start singing "In aankhon mein tum over skype"

Pooja with a purpose

Jalal has decorated Jo's room

Jalal: Jodha deviji...aayiye plz...hum dhany ho gaye...yahan humne panditji ko bulaya hai.he will do Jodha sthapan..plz sit there in that place...I will do ur pooja and aarti and then maafi mangofy from you by falling at your feet...😲😲😲

"Om jodhaya namaha" "Om jodhaya namaha"

"Om jodhaya namaha"

Pandit: 'Shehenshah ab aap inse maafi maang sakte hain"...😡😡

Jallu: .oh really..I am so blessed..i can fall at her feet now..Thank you thank you..maine kya punya kiya tha jo mujhe yeh sadbhagya mila...Jodha deviji...I have stolen a chabuk from that chabuk wala who was whipping ppl for teerth tax...aap us chaabuk se mujhe 1,000 times maariye..then I'll do 10,000 sit ups...and walk barefoot round the Jodha temple with a pot of water on my head and ur moorthy in my hand 50,000 times and chant 1,000 names of Jodha begum 1,000 times everyday..Only then I can atone for my sins...

Jodha: How about shouting Jodha begum zindabad 100 times every morning and standing on your head for 1 hour daily...and also for 2 hours in the night u should do "murga bano" outside my hojra...

Jallu:Sure,anything u say..hum murga bhi banenge...Bandar bhi banenge,Ullu bhi banenge ...anything deviji...😲😲.

Jodha:Ullu to maine tumhe bana diya😈,bandar to tum ho hi...😡so shut up...zyada bolne ki zaroorat nahin..🤢.filhaal sirf murga bano...Phir jab hume tandoori chicken khaane ka man hoga to tandoor mein jump kar dena😕😆😆

Jalal:Okie dokie

Not yet watched tonight's episode..will update Comedy nights/take 5 after watching it...Do let me know if u lied this new idea of comedy nights 😳😃