I know I am super duper lateee... but as you know, I was away for a while and then got busy with work (and also posted the other update) sooo, it's a bit late.
Anyway, I don't know what you are expecting their reactions to be like after the last chapter. But I tried to get into their shoes and put down my own reactions through them (sort of) - I hope I have done justice!😃
Chapter 9 - Stand by me
"What happened? Arjun?"
No reply. He stood there before her like a fractured glass statue that would shatter upon touch. So delicate and fragile was his expression that she stopped breathing for a moment. It scared her. She hadn't seen such a faraway look in his eyes before. Her hand slowly reached out to touch his shoulder, but it stood there, motionless in the air. She couldn't do it. Something stopped her from touching him. Something in his expression pained her.
"Arjun?" She repeated softly.
It was then that she noticed the crumpled note drop from his clenched fist. The sound of the note swaying in the air seemed magnified in the silence of the room. It landed upon the floor with a gentle thud that was surprisingly audible to her, and she glanced up at him.
Arjun.
ACP Arjun Rawte.
The book.
The note.
And, Roshni.
The realisation was too sudden. She stood there for a moment, trying to make sense out of the situation. Her eyes searched his face for an answer. Anything that would prove her instinct wrong. But his expression remained blank and unreadable. She looked around herself, unable to look into his eyes any further. Her knees suddenly felt weak and her arms trembled as she reached out for the chair that lay nearby.
She felt his gaze upon her for a brief instant. She heard his voice call out to her faintly. Something about the need to go out and think. Think what? She felt him leave the room, his footsteps sounded muffled even in the silence around her.
She slumped on the chair as her heartbeat quickened. Everything suddenly seemed so wrong and out of place. Too many questions jumped out at her. This couldn't be him, could it? How could he be the person she had been waiting to meet? How could her stranger be the person who loved his wife unconditionally? Was he still married? If so, what was he doing here in London? And what happened to Roshni?
Hold on, he had said he was here to make a fresh start. Hadn't he? Was he leaving her? But if he loved her as much as it was evident from the note, then how could he be leaving her? And what about that expression she saw on his face just when he came across the note?
She buried her head in her hands and finally asked herself the question she had been dreading to ask. Had she fallen in love with a married man?
***
He walked out of the door and into the cold streets below. He had forgotten his jacket and the cold air clawed at him as soon as he stepped outside. But it didn't matter anymore. Nothing made sense anymore. It was all too muddled, too bleary. The sky was still a shade of midnight blue, but he saw the faint traces of the morning sun, soon to rise in the sky. The streets were deserted; not a soul was visible. He kept on walking on the cold Christmas morning. He didn't know where he was going and he didn't care.
All he could see was the note. And Sakshi's expression. Had she known about Roshni? Did she know about him before they had met? But then, their meetings were all coincidences weren't they?
He had arrived in London to move on. And perhaps, he had.
But then why did that note shake him up so? Why was he suddenly feeling guilty? Had he really moved on? He paused in the middle of the road and leaned against a nearby tree. He had to stop thinking. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
What he saw with his closed eyes, wasn't something he was expecting.
Or perhaps, he was.
***
She couldn't bear it anymore. The white walls seemed to be closing upon her. She felt suffocated in the silence that surrounded her. She needed sounds. Something that would make her peaceful. She knew this wasn't a time to follow him and ask him the questions she couldn't even ask to herself. She wasn't that brave. She needed to clear her mind. Her eyes fell upon the note lying abandoned on the floor.
She picked it up and absently brushed her finger against his name. She finally knew his name. She had said to herself that his name didn't matter. But perhaps it did. Perhaps she should have asked his name before she had fallen in love with him.
She closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath. But even with her closed eyes, she could see his face. Something told her that it was all ok.
***
Her face was all he could see with his closed eyes. Her smile as she had handed him the scrapbook full of their memories. Her cheery voice calling him stranger. Her laugh that always made everything feel so right. Before he knew it, he was smiling.
When he opened his eyes, it all disappeared. That note bothered him. The fact that it was lying in her flat all this time. The fact that he had been spending all this time with her when the note had been lying abandoned in a book. A story that had been closed. A chapter that was over already. And yet, why did he keep turning back the pages?
He kept walking.
Before he realised it, his feet took him towards the bridge. The bridge where they had shared a moment of their first night of freedom together. A memory he would never forget.
He paused their and leaned against the stone railing, his gaze falling upon the dark water of the Thames that flowed below.
The river flowed at a steady pace; its dark waters sloshing against the stone edges of the bridge below. The city blinked before him in the faint morning light. The only sounds that surrounded him was the gentle sound of the river flowing below and the occasional sound of cars driving through the bridge behind him.
As he stood there, watching the sky brighten with each passing minute, his mind felt at peace. His heart soon returned to its normal pace and he suddenly shivered in the cold morning breeze.
That was when he felt the jacket being placed gently around his shoulders. He turned around and saw her face as the sun's first rays touched upon her eyes.
***
She had walked and walked and walked. Taking turns now and then. Going where her feet took her. She didn't know why she had reached for his jacket before she exited the flat. Perhaps she had known that somehow they would end up at the same place. She hadn't been surprised to see him on the bridge, his eyes staring into the distant rising sun.
She had walked, carefully scrutinizing his expression at the same time. He had calmed down, she could tell just by looking into the side of his face. She hadn't intended on coming here, but somehow her feet has carried her here. Another coincidence?
She wanted to ask him so many questions, but she stayed quiet as she wrapped his jacket around his cold body.
He looked at her surprisingly, as if he were dreaming. As if this was all a dream. His eyes held that distant look again and she moved her gaze away, towards the rising sun. She could feel his unblinking eyes on her as she tried to focus on the sliver of the golden ball that was now visible above the horizon. She breathed out and closed her eyes briefly. Surprisingly, she felt at peace now. As if someone had calmed the storm that had been brewing inside her.
She glanced towards him then, and smiled bleakly.
He stuttered, slightly, as he spoke, "H-how did you...did you..."
"I didn't follow you, no. I just walked."
"You just walked." His voice appeared dazed to her. "Then why do you have my jacket?"
She shrugged. She had no reply to that. She wondered if she should even be here. Her heart still found solace beside him. And she didn't even know if he was married or not. She took a deep breath and started to turn away when she felt him clench her wrist.
She flinched as she felt his strong fingers gripping her wrist. She tried to twist her arm out of his grip, but it was too strong and it hurt.
"I don't want you to leave." He said, his voice pleading. "Please."
She froze and whispered, "Please let me go. I have too many questions and I don't want to hurt you now."
"Why?" He asked.
"I don't think you can answer my questions now. And I don't think I have any right to..."
"You have every right." His voice was stronger now. His grip became softer on her wrist and she felt his fingers slide down to entwine with her fingers. "I want to tell you everything. This stranger... has a past." He sighed.
***
He watched her turn around then, the golden rays of the sun illuminating her beautiful face. Her eyes gleamed in the glow of the rising sun and he could see a tear drop glistening at the edge of her right eye. He wanted to reach out then and brush it away. He didn't want to hurt her any more than he probably had. But he held on to her fingers instead. Because they gave him strength. They made him feel alive and loved again.
He took a deep breath and started his story. The story about his past.
"Roshni. She was my wife. I met her in college on my first day. She loved books too, just like you. We started talking the moment we met. We became friends and with time, we became inseparable. She was all I could think about. My every thought started and stopped on her. Her parents were against our relationship, so we ran away to get married. Sam...Sameer was there too. What a brother, right?" He laughed faintly, his mind slipping back into the days of his past. "We were happy together. But it didn't last long. One day, I was supposed to drive her to the school she taught in, but couldn't. Some stupid work came up, and I let her drive. I deserted her." He was trembling; Roshni's last words kept echoing in his mind - her last goodbye. "I was stupid enough to let her drive." His voice shook in anger and he slammed his fists against the stone railing. It didn't hurt anymore. "So stupid." He fell apart then, after all these years.
He cried like a baby as she held him in her arms, her hands cradling his face. He didn't utter a word and neither did she. He just felt the comfort in her fingers as they brushed away the tears from his face. He felt the love in her voice as she whispered, "Shh. It wasn't your fault." Over and over again.
Years later, he felt at peace.
***
"Stop worrying!" Sameer felt stressed just by looking at Aisha pacing around the room.
Her curly hair was entangled from sleep and she constantly bit her nails as she walked up and down the living room. She had seen Arjun leave just before dawn - alone. Sakshi had followed about ten minutes later. She hadn't known anything was wrong until she had stepped into Sakshi's room and found the crumpled note. And then she had woken him up as if hell had broken loose.
He didn't know what those two had been doing up so early. He still felt groggy from sleep.
"How can you just stand there doing nothing?" She asked, her voice frustrated. "And here I was thinking you were his best friend!"
"What has that got to do with anything?" He suppressed a yawn.
"You should be out there looking for them! The stupid girl didn't even take her phone with her. Careless!"
He approached her carefully and said, "Ok, Aisha. Calm down. Take a deep breath."
"Deep breath my foot! What if she does something stupid? I knew I should have stopped her! She doesn't even know about his past. She might think that she fell in love with a married man!"
"How do you know what they even spoke about? Besides, I am sure she is sensible. They will find each other. Until then, it's stupid to go out looking for them in this big city. Let's be sensible and wait for them to return. Ok?"
Aisha slumped down on a nearby chair and said, "I just hope they will be ok."
He replied in a reassuring voice, "They will be."
***
The park was deserted. It was a Christmas morning after all. The sun's slanting rays made its way through the gaps of the high rise buildings of central London into the park. The white frost covered grass glittered in the sunshine that gently kissed its surface. Sakshi could hear birds beginning to chirp in the trees as she lay sprawled on her stomach on a wooden bench, her arm dangling down one side. She rested her chin on one hand and scraped the crumbly frost off the blade of a grass with the other hand that was dangling down the side. It glittered in the sun before it melted into a drop of water that trickled down her finger. Her gaze moved to Arjun who was lying the same way as her on the bench beside her, so that they faced each other. He lay there, his chin resting on his crossed arms and his eyes closed in the warm winter sunshine.
His eyes popped open and he asked, "So you knew me before you even met me?"
"Yeah." She blushed, thinking back to her craziness to chase after a person she didn't even know. She lowered her gaze and started playing with the frost on the grass.
"You wanted to actually come to Mumbai to meet me?" His voice held a hint of tease and her cheeks coloured.
She replied with a smile and he continued, "So you were about to chase a guy you didn't even know. And... why?"
"I don't know." She absently plucked the grass and started playing with it. "I just had to meet you."
"You do realise this sort of things happens in books right?"
"I do need to step out of my fictitious world right?" She looked up now and saw him grinning at her.
"Not really. So what do you think?"
"Of what?"
"Me? Now that you have met me?" He raised himself on his elbows and rested his chin on it.
"In what way?" She avoided his gaze and chuckled to herself.
"What did you expect me to be like?"
She looked into his eyes then and said, "I don't know. You were like this character out of one of my novels that I really wanted to meet."
"Like the hero of a romance novel?"
"Maybe." She blushed deeper.
"And?"
He really wasn't going to let go. She laughed and said, "I think I like my stranger better."
***
"We should be heading back." He said.
His mind was still playing her answer over and over again in his head. He felt like a teenager - overanalysing everything she said. She walked beside him as they wandered through the deserted streets; her fingers traced imaginary patterns on his palm. Her loose hair gleamed in the sunshine that warmed them as the sun rose higher into the sky. She leaned a little towards him as they walked at a slow pace on the stone pavement. He rested his chin on her head as a few dry leaves blew around them in circles. The closer he got to New Year's Day, the more afraid he got. He was afraid of distance. And the thought of being away from her scared him.
"It feels as if we are the only two souls alive on this planet." He said.
The shops were all shut, as if they had never really existed. There wasn't a single car on the street nor a single person on the pavements. The whistling of the wind was the only sound that surrounded them.
"It feels good." She murmured. "It's always like this on Christmas day. Quiet."
"I never asked you something."
"What?"
"What's your full name?"
She burst out into laughter as if he had asked the most absurd question ever and said, "How could I forget, ACP Arjun Rawte? Anand. Sakshi Anand."
He paused for a bit, pondering over her name and said, "It suits you."
"What?"
"Your surname. Anand. Happiness." He smiled at her.
She looped her arm through his in response and started walking again.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
"I thought you said we should head back?"
"Not if you don't want to." He was grinning again, a hint of mischief in his voice.
"Are you indirectly asking me out, ACP Arjun Rawte?"
"Maybe." He grinned. "What's the answer?"
She paused and stepped forward to face him. She tilted her head towards one side, her eyes carefully scrutinizing his appearance and said, "I am rejecting it."
And she turned around to start walking on her own.
"Why?" He called out after her. "What's wrong with me?"
She looked back at him, a teasing smile on her face. "That's not how you ask a girl out. You have to work at it harder than that, stranger. I am not easy to impress. I have shown you London in a way you hadn't seen it before. Now it's your turn. Go on, impress me. Can you?" She stood there at a distance with her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised at him.
It was the first time ACP Arjun Rawte felt absolutely clueless.
**************
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and thank youu for reading🤗
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