FF : Tere Mere Darmiyaan LAST PART pg-87 dt.10.10.14 - Page 11

 Chapter 3

It was still few hours before midnight when dutta and nakusha reached PN. The house maid, Laxmi opened the door for them and clearly seemed taken aback to see a woman standing next to the head of the house. Laxmi was in her late forties and had been serving the Patils for several years.  She was of average height, stout and had a wheatish complexion. She wore a crisp wrinkle free plain sari with her hair tied in a bun and a jasmine garland fixed around it. She was superior to all the other servants and had an air of authority about her. Her expressions refused to give away anything however tonight she failed to hold back her surprise. Her gaze fell on the garland that hung around dutta's neck, noticing her bewildered expression, he pursed his lips and freed himself of that garland. Laxmi then glanced at nakusha and found a similar garland, she then spotted some vermillion on her forehead as well. Finally the lady was able to put two and two together, still it was hard to believe that all of a sudden dutta bhau had gotten married and that too to someone like nakusha. Dutta slanted his head slightly and glared at the maid. What exactly was she doing by blocking his way? In his own house he was being scanned by some servant, it irritated him a lot. Laxmi gulped the lump inside her throat, lowered her eyes and immediately stepped aside giving him way. Without wasting another second, dutta marched in and with a few long strides he crossed the hallway and disappeared leaving a lost nakusha behind. Clutching her old and small aluminium trunk box firmly in one hand she nervously moved her eyes around. She was dutta shreeram patil's wife and this was her new home. The unbelievable truth sent a chill down her spine. Would she ever be able to digest this huge thing down her system? Taking a deep breath she attempted to calm down her nerves.

She didn't know for how long she stood alone at the threshold. The house maid had already left. She craned her neck forward to find someone but failed to spot anyone from there. Hesitantly she lifted her foot to cross the threshold and enter a new world where there was no one to welcome her. But then life had always been like this to her, cold and hostile.

Tottering like a snail she slowly tried to take in her new surroundings. Until a few hours back she lived in a small cottage but this was nothing less than a palace. She had often seen PN from outside when gathered with other villagers at the courtyard to collect gifts distributed by dutta on festivals. Standing out she'd never imagined that it would be this big and lavish from inside. She made her way around the wall that divided the kitchen from the living room. There was a simple and classy dining area. She also noticed a door behind the dining area, that must be a back bedroom. Was that his room? She had no clue. There was nobody to even help her, she felt like a lost and abandoned child. Suddenly it struck her, he had a young nephew named, Anay. She hadn't seen much of him but anay was his only family as far as she had heard. It was quite late, maybe the little one was fast asleep. Keeping her trunk box down she wandered further and found herself standing in a puja room. A massive sized silver colored Ganpati idol stared back at her. Everything in this house surpassed her expectations. She slanted her head slightly in awe and didn't realize when her feet automatically moved toward it. This was even bigger than the one in the temple. Tearing her gaze away from the idol she glanced at the marble surface on which it was placed and thought probably he hardly prayed over here. Picking up the matchbox she lit the unlit lamp and closed her eyes after folding her hands. Images of the whole day beginning from her getting dressed for the wedding and reaching the temple with the hope of starting a new life to shattering of that ray of hope on seeing suresh's dead body lying at her feet and concluding with dutta declaring to marry her in the most bizarre circumstances , flashed within seconds before her eyes. A current ran through her entire body and ended up pricking the corners of her eyes. Blinking back her tears she helplessly gazed at the idol. Was this all for real? Had all this actually happened with her and him in particular? She was confused absolutely confused. Was she supposed to be grateful for how the events turned up for her or should she complain that once again she had ended up ruining someone's life? This was a new start, a new beginning but she didn't think she deserved it. Life had been unfair to her so far and today all of a sudden He had attempted to compensate for all her losses. However she couldn't see herself accepting the unimagined and the undesired graciously. Instead of being composed and at peace she felt weak and jittery. Being part of this house, being dutta shreeram patil's wife was not a cakewalk. Never in the wildest of her dreams had she seen herself standing here as the mistress of this house. She swallowed nervously and prayed that Bappa after putting her in this situation would now give her the strength to face it as well.

Dragging herself she went back to the living area where she had left her trunk. Not having a clue as to what she should do next or where to go she sat near a pillar, placing the trunk next to her side.

" vaheni!"

" vaheni ."

Nakusha lifted her lowered head and looked up in confusion. Laxmi was standing before her. Nakusha gave her a puzzled look and gazed over her shoulder. Who was she calling out, was there someone around?

" vaheni , aap zameen par kyun baithi hain?" there was surprise in her tone.

It took her a few seconds to realize that the maid was addressing her as vaheni'. She was no longer just nakusha, this wedding had brought along new relationships as well. Being called vaheni' felt strange and unfamiliar but that was the way things were. Nakusha stood on her feet and parted her lips to ask," sahab?"

The maid ironed out her furrowed brows and replied," bhau ka kamra uppar hai." She pointed toward the stair case that led to the upper room. Nakusha raised her lashes and glanced in that direction. Laxmi had her hands crossed behind her back and head lowered. She stood there silently waiting for nakusha to go up to her room.

 Nakusha bit her lower lip and her eyes scattered the pearly white marble floor. Why wasn't the maid leaving? Why was she still there? The thought of going up to his room scared the living daylights out of her. How would she face him? However she couldn't spend the rest of the night here with the maid standing on her head. Therefore she summoned all her courage , lifted the trunk and began moving toward the stairs. Every step that she climbed raised her heart beat to another level. By the time she reached his room fear bloomed in the pit of her stomach making her sweat. With trembling hands she pushed the door aside. She felt like an intruder invading his privacy. She poked her head inside, he was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he'd decided to stay in some other room. A wave of relief swept her entire body. Before he changed his mind she quickly moved in and shut the door behind her.

Despite the cold, she felt suffocated in the room and thought of opening the window. Cool and pleasant breeze washed over her as she stood there clutching the window railing.

Dutta shoved the bathroom door open and came out. His brisk feet came to a sudden halt on finding nakusha in the room. Her back was facing him and if he wasn't wrong then he noticed her getting startled. Nakusha winced internally. He was in the same room and she didn't realize. What was she supposed to do now? she gazed over her shoulder and the urge to flee kicked in immediately but the door to the room was shut. She herself had closed it. In the silent room she could hear his strong and firm steps approaching her. Suddenly the oxygen in the room seemed to disappear again. She curled her fists around the railing more strongly to maintain her balance. It would appear disrespectful if she continued to show him her back. Thus ever so slowly she turned around to face him, however her head remained downcast as she fidgeted with the end of her sari. The silence between them stretched for long. She could feel his eyes calling to her to look at him. She lifted her eyes up.

" sahab..aaj ..aapne.." he was so intense and her poor brain was struggling to frame her thoughts correctly. She swallowed hard in her throat. Today he had saved her life. Protected her honor. Stood by her when she badly needed support. If he hadn't intervened and taken the entire onus on himself, she would have been shattered beyond imagination.

"  nakku...apka yeh ..ehsaan..." he held up a hand to ward off another word coming from her mouth.

" ehsaan nahin galti." He corrected her. It wasn't a favor but a mistake? A sharp pain pierced through her heart. He was already regretting marrying her?

Maybe he read her mind and clarified," jo hua woh sirf meri galti thi ..aur is shaadi se maine apni galti for sirf..sudhaara hai." Nakusha blinked softly and couldn't stop herself from admiring him. From day one he was trying to protect her from the clutches of her evil sister , whatever he did or decided was for her betterment. If in the end things didn't turn out as planned then it wasn't his fault but still he blamed himself for everything. If he wished he could have walked away and like others hold her ill fate responsible. But he didn't.

" ek baat yaad rakhiyo, tu meri patni sirf aur sirf is kamre ke bahar hai." His declaration stunned her, she couldn't figure out how to react. This marriage was just for namesake. Out in the open they would pose as a married couple but within the four walls of this room they would be strangers? Her jaw dropped slightly in daze.

He didn't care to elaborate more or put his decision across in a way that would have hurt her less. He was least interested in getting married. He was content living alone. There was no place for anybody. She was nothing more than a responsibility for him and he'd discharge it with utmost sincerity. Beyond that he had nothing to offer her. The sooner she understood and accepted it, the better it would be for her. Walking past her, he flopped on his bed and covered his eyes by bringing an arm over them.

" aur haan ..jis din tu mujhe yahaan nazar aayi... Mere saath." he said patting lightly the empty side of the bed.

" woh din is rishte ka aakhri din hoga." With that he pulled over the bedsheet and turned to his right side. He had always been a straight forward person. Never believed in beating around the bush.

Astounded nakusha stared at his back. What was this man? How could he say something like that so casually and go off to sleep? For a moment, anger flew in her veins instead of blood. A minute back he had clearly announced that in this room she would not be his wife then how could he think that after knowing this she would ever wish to jump into bed with him and the day he found her next to him in his bed he would snap all ties with her? He would end this relationship! What relationship was he talking about? The relationship that started off as a compromise. The relationship that was nothing more than a liability for him and had no life in it, died the very moment when he declared that they'd pose as a married couple only before the people of PV then why did he come up with something so low and disgraceful? She didn't forget that he was on a different stature and belonged to a society where it would be difficult for her to make a place for herself and she had absolutely nothing to offer him. Still she couldn't afford to fall in her own eyes. Her self esteem was her only treasure and she wouldn't lose that ever in her life.

Pushing back the tears of insult she took out the garland from her neck and placed it next to his on the couch then moved toward her trunk to take out her shawl. While pulling it out her eyes fell on her reflection in the dressing mirror. She wore an inexpensive simple green colored cotton sari with matching glass bangles. Apart from the bangles and artificial earrings there wasn't any other piece of ornament on her body until she spotted his gold chain that hung around her slender neck now as her mangalsutra. Automatically her hand lifted to touch the freckles of vermillion on her forehead. She was a married woman. Maybe only for the outside world. It was something he might wish to ignore but couldn't deny. As for her she could neither overlook nor forget. Her fingers slowly slipped down her face and stopped at the scar on her cheek. She felt the dry and rough skin underneath her finger tips. The scar had left its mark not only on her face but on her soul as well. It had wounded her heart so deeply that she could never forget her past. The mark always reminded her of something that she truly desired to leave behind and move on. But she couldn't.

 Nakusha was quite fair and had a decent figure with long, straight, black hair yet she wasn't beautiful enough to attract attention. She smirked inwardly, why would anybody lay eyes on her? she shifted her gaze slightly and saw his sleeping figure. He didn't have to lay that condition before her. The scarred face would never attract him. And in the absence of love and attraction between them the question of getting physical with each other would never arise.

 Just the fact that he went ahead and married her with this imperfection spoke volumes about him. Not once did he show pity or cringe at the sight of her. What he did for her was too big when compared to his recent crude and blatant words.

The anger against him and the pain he inflicted on her, slowly began to dissipate, even though she doubted that she'd ever forget what he'd said and how he'd said, perhaps he too didn't want her to forget. Nakusha wrapped the shawl around herself and went back to the window. Pressing her back against the wall she let her body slide down on the floor. Drawing her knees close to the chest and folding her arms around her legs she dropped her head on the knees and closed her eyes. It had been a long and hard evening with never ending darkness surrounding her, threatening to swallow her until he came ripping through this darkness. Every dark cloud truly did have a silver lining.

Thanks for reading 

Rose.