Posted:
Fandom: "Mein uthne mein aapki madad karti hoon." (I will help you rise from this)
CVs: "Koi madad nahi!" (Don't!) with the stern reply while struggling to even sit up.
Fandom: "Aree!?" (What the?)
[Enter wise Paro]
Paro: "Aap rehne dijiye." (Let it be, I got this)
Fandom: "Theek hai." (Alright) with a deep sigh, takes a step back.
CVs: "Tujhe kya lagtaa hai, tu samjhayegi aur samajh jayenge hum?? Chodd humein, jub oonki madad nahi li, to teri kyu le?" (What do you think, you'll give suggestions and we will listen? Let us be! When we didn't listen to the fandom, why should we listen to you?? )
Paro: "Aap kisi ki madad lo ya na lo, lekin mein wohi karungi jo mujhe karna hai. Aur aap maare ko rok nahi sakte!" (Whether you want anybody's help or not, I will do what I have to. And there's nothing you can do about it!)
Paro: "Aapko aise scenes banaate dekh, un bichaariyo ke to hosh hi ud gaye! Lekin maare nahi udenge. Aap ke show se dosti jo karli hai" (Watching illogical and absurd scenes like these, the fandom is very disappointed and frustrated. But I won't get frustrated because I have befriended this show) Gently picks up the plate of nutritious apple bites.
CVs: "Accha, to tu sambhaad sakti hai humaari kamiyo ko? Kaise? Bohot... himmatt.. chahiye" (So you think you have solutions to bad tracks like these? You need.. a lot of ..guts)..barely finish the sentence while choking on the first bite of apple shoved in their mouth.
Paro: "Kisi bhi bigadti serial ko bachaane ke liye ek hi cheez karni padti hai. Sade hue ideas ko phek do! Aap aise scenes dikhana bandh kar doge, aur aap ke audience apne aap khush ho jaayegi." (The solution to saving any show that's going downhill is getting rid of the crappy ideas. You stop showing these age old illogical tracks and the audience will automatically be pleased!)
CVs: "Is dhoke mein mat rehna ke tu humein analyze kar ke kaabu mein kar sakti hai. Humare liye free mein twitter par promotion karne ka matlab yeh nahi ke tune Colors TV se hum pe hakk jamane ka vardaan paa liya hai." (Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can analyze our scenes/tracks and tell us how to change them. Trending on Twitter and promoting the show for free doesn't give you the right to tell us how to improve the show's approval ratings)
Paro: shoving another bite of yummy goodness.. "Kab tak humari baat nahi sunoge CV-ji-sa? kab tak maare hunar ko vyasth jaane doge?? Kab tak indian soaps ka bitaa hua kal aap ki aaj ki kaabliyat pe grehen lagaaye rakhega??" (Till when will you not listen to me CV-ji-sa? Till when will you let my talent go to waste? Till when will you let the history of indian soaps eclipse the potential of this show?)
CVs: "Indian soap ke classic ideas pe sawal mat utha. Jaanti kya hai tu?" (Don't question the classic tracks of indian soaps. What do you know?)
Paro: "Mein nahi jaanti?????" (You think I don't know?)..disbelief written all over her face as she questioned back.
"Buraa scenes aur managment meine bhi dekhe hai Arnavji.. uhh mera matlab hai CV-ji-sa. Lekin voh galatiyaa mein iss serial mein nahi dohrana chahti. Agar puraane ghase pite vicharo ko promote karti rahungi, to aage padne wale patthar aur tamaatar ko rok nahi paungi. Serial aise hi ghiss ti rahegi yaa achaanak bandh ho jaayegi. Lifts the plate of wisdom again and keeps feeding. "Is liye mein asliyat aur logic ki raah par chalna chahti hoon. Aapne apne bete hue aur illogical ideas ko itni zor se pakad kar rakha hai ko aapki mutthi mein kuch aur pakad ne ki jagah hi nahi bachi! Aapki rachanaatmak shakti, aapki kaabliyat, aapki audience pe vishwas karne ki shakti. Najaane kahaa gayi!" (I have seen my fair share of bad tracks and aweful managment Arnavji.. uhh, I mean CV-ji-sa. But I don't want that to repeat again. If I keep going along with these illogical tracks of the past then I won't be able to save us from the stones and tomatoes being chucked at us in the future. The show will keep dragging like this or end abruptly. This is why I have decided to bring some reality and logic into this show. You have held onto to these old ideas so tightly and stretched them out so much that there's not room left in your hands to pick up anything else. Your Creativity, your potential, you ability to trust and respect the audience's intellectual level. Don't know where all of that is).
"Is post.. mera matlab hai.. thaal mein ab kuchi apple bites bache hai. Maare ko jo aapko khilana tha, meine khila diya." (In this post.. I mean in this plate, there are only few more apple bites left. Whatever I wanted to feed you, I have fed.) Looks at the rest of the bites down below and continues with love and hope.. "Ab aapko apni madad khud karni padegi. Aur aap bhi jaante hai ki yeh itna mushkil nahi hai!" (It is upto you to help yourself now). Slowly walks out leaving the plate for CVs to reach the leftovers with their TRP se paralyzed hand and "classic sadde" ideas se poisoned brains.
Left over apple bites.
Quantity: 3
Bite #1. If you are going to evoke the subject of God, please do not ridicule Him by portraying it as a bribe and sending the worst messenger as "Pundit" to misguide characters as well as the impressionable audience.
Bite #2. If you are going to create medical drama, please please please consult a physician, nurse, medical student or even a peon working the gates of a hospital facility.
Bite #3. If the name of the team is "Creative" let's hope that creativity is at the top of that to-do list, and not the bottom.
Seher Hone Ko Hai
Cricket
