@TM - Exactly my thoughts! I've always pointed this out for BV. They made marriage compulsory for men too...I mean Jagya was not even allowed to recover fully and they all started pressurising him for third marriage!
I hate BV for undermining free will and readiness of a person for major life decisions. Even career choices of one's own choice are discouraged, ultimately person must do what his or her elder (such as parent or teacher) did! And work locally and not at all think of working in another village/city let alone another country!
I think BV is simply catering to rural, semi urban Indian audience. Indians only think of marriage and "vansh". The biggest reason for female foeticide in India is dowry and marriage expenses for a girl. Till date people stress only about a girl's marriage, they don't spend on themselves and often even do not spend much on boy's education because they feel burden to save for girl's marriage! I've seen people go bankrupt or suffer heart attacks in stress of a girl's marriage. People still treat marriage as the only dead end for a girl's life and feel she needs to be taught necessary skills for that. Even to convince people for educating their girls they have to be given reasons how this will help her in becoming a better wife and mother. 😡
Indians think marriage is be all and end all of life. If kid is married then parents' "burdens" and tensions are over.
After Delhi gang rape case a politician remarked that rapes were happening because marriages were happening at later age nowadays and implied that child marriage system was good! 🤢
Even if a girl is tense over something else, people feel she's doing it out of unfulfiled need for a partner! They say get her married and all will be fine! I have seen marriage being recommended as panacea for a girl with mental health problems too! The idea is - iski shaadi kara do toh sab theek ho jayega!
Even males' frustrations are suspected to have cause in ladki ka chakkar or unfulfilled need of a partner!
Some parents are so anxious they marry off a girl as soon as she turns 18.
Often subjects are also chosen keeping in mind how they will help in marriage (doing BDS will make it easier to get an NRI guy, doing home science will help after marriage blah blah!).
For a girl especially, all her habits are reinforced or discouraged giving reason of marriage. She should wake up early - it will help after marriage, she shouldn't be short tempered - warna shaadi ke baad kya hoga, She should learn to cook - shaadi ke baad toh karna hi padta hai, she shouldn't be "lazy" - warna isko koi nahi rakhega! They talk of "rakhega"!! No matter how educated a girl is, how much she earns - ultimately she has to be "kept" by somebody else! 😡
I sometimes see parents even scolding boys with reasons of marriage. Itna gussa mat kar warna aajkal ki ladkiyan nahi tikti, tujhe mushkil hogi shaadi ke baad! 😲
As if sex and marriage are be all and end all of life.
You won't believe but 12-13 year old girls (if they suffer from dysmenorrhea) are told by doctors themselves ki shaadi ke baad sab theek ho jayega! Disgusting!!
No wonder India has so much population!
Anyone who is not married must have some "khot" or is cursed/unfortunate, bechaara/bechaari.
After marriage it's compulsory to have kids. Being grandparents is not enough. Real deal is being great grandparents! What you do in life is not criteria. The only thing that gets you Golden ladder to heaven is becoming a great grandmother to a great-grandson!
I think Indian society focuses too much on dependency and everyone meddles too much in others' lives. There is too much rigidity till date in relations, gender roles, roles according to stages of life etc.
Who says elders should only sit idle and do nothing or not spend on themselves at all? Why can't girls take care of their parents? Why can't anyone remain single and childless by choice? What's wrong if couple doesn't want kids?
We have really bakwas beliefs!!
I think Indians are so used to old beliefs and ways that anything else seems like a threatening deviation to them.
I also hate tying marital status to the character of a person!
Who says a married person is of a better character than an unmarried one?!
BV has often reinforced most backward beliefs. No doubt they have given really good messages too. But undermining work, professional status, education, independence, free will and portraying only marriage and domestic life as bliss is not done.
Who decides what is the meaning of being complete?! How can one say that only being married and having kids and grandkids implies completeness?!
Some mytho shows also show gods "sorrowful" when they become yogis or go away to do tapasya. Wow! God is above all this! How's He also sad if He is doing tap?
All this, just to appeal to baser instincts of people in audience?!
I do not demean people who marry and have kids or domestic life is their only goal. If it's their dream and if this is what makes them happy then so be it. But this generalisation and stereotyping is not done! 😲
I think BV is only peddling small small changes but primarily strives not to disturb existing mindset of its target audience.
I don't know what's wrong with Indian society! There was a time when our society had place for everybody - the householders, the yogis, monks, nuns, the seekers of knowledge etc. All were respected. None was especially encouraged or discouraged. What happened later then?!
The way BV handled Sanchi's story, it would seem as if she'd have had no problems if she were married earlier or coached for marriage earlier.
I find the idea of Anandi coaching all girls in BV (be it Ganga or Sanchi) rather dangerous! Does it mean child marriage and those years with Bhago and DS actually helped Anandi?! That's how a girl should be? Toh bachpan se "training" honi chahiye?
I wish Sanchi had learnt on her own or from her mother and chachi more than Anandi.
They also showed CM subdued earlier when she was a widow. And she dresses to her heart's content and laughs openly only after her husband has returned! Why?
If Daddu can laugh, dance and eat despite absence of wife, then why can't CM be the same? The sudden "khulapan" in her behaviour was also stereotypical.
This is why I felt rather sad at butchering of Gauri's character and her sudden disappearance. I also wanted Anandi to consider remarriage on her own and fall for Shiv herself than be EBed into all this.
Ganga's track was potentially progressive but CVs ruined it by introducing comparisons between Sanchi and her and Anandi advising both girls! Her risking her life to bear waaris for Singhs and eventualy having a male child was also orthodox. Why not a baby girl?
Sexism and other stereotypes abound in BV!
Indians can't believ/accept that a person can take care of himself/herself or survive alone. Parents worry who'll take care of son/daughter after they're no more. Hence only solution is marriage. If one marriage has fallen apart or spouse is dead then another marriage!
We don't have "Hum apna dhyan khud rakh sakte hain" in our minds. It's always, "iska dhyan kaun rakhega?"
Shaadi ho gayi sab theek ho gaya. Bachche ho gaye sab theek ho gaya. Padhpota ho gaya janam safal ho gaya! This is not always true or compulsory!
Edited by atominis - 11 years ago
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