How to stop a child marriage?

I want suggestion from forum members for a problem - how to stop a child-marriage. The issue relates to younger sister of a maid. She is around 19 - was already married when she was 14, but does not live with her husband (perhaps legally divorced, I am not sure). She lives with her mother and younger sisters- her father is no more (that is how they were forced to come to Delhi from their village to work as maid). She has elder married sisters living in the city as well as one in their village.

Isn't there some sort of organisation you could contact for help.

The problem is, I do not have definite information.What if they decide to go back to their village? What if they say - it is just a hoax? I will be laughing stock in the locality and no maid will agree to work for me. Is there any way the mother can be convinced to -not to marry the young girls before they reach 18?

The girl does not want to get married. The mother as of now has assured me that she will not go for marriage of the girls (there are three of them) before they turn 18, but the fact that the maid says that she cannot trust the mother on her words unsettles me. I feel helpless in such a situation. It would have been easier for me to involve any NGOs or even police if I had definite information about the date, time and venue of marriage (and also some proof about the girl's age) - at present it is just a possibility and nothing more.

Puja, you can do the following.

1. Tell your parents, especially your mother about the situation. Explain to her that you feel strongly about this and ask for her help.

2. Talk to the maid and her sister again (the girl who is supposed to get married.). Tell them that they cannot be coerced into a marriage and marriage can happen after a certain legal age which is 21 currently. Talk to them and tell them what a child marriage may lead to.

3. Enquire about some NGO near your place. There are helplines. Call them. Keep their number.

4. Share the same with the girl and her sister. Tell them that if they need help, they should call one of these numbers for help. If it is alright with you, give them your contact. Assure them that they will not be in any trouble for not wanting to marry at 16.

5. See if your mother can talk to the mother of the bride. Usually an elder makes an impact with another.

You can but try to do your best. It is great that you want to do something and not turn your head the other way. That is the first step.

You may not be able to change things immediately but if you can assure your support , it will make a difference.

All the best!

Thanks juslikethat 1 - I think my best bet is suggestion no. 3 & 4 above. Actually, I am not young, I have teenage sons and I am the lady of house, my mother does not live with me. The girl does not have any mobile and being illiterate, it is not expected that she will remember the number - I will write down the number (after finding about suitable NGO) and give it to her to keep in a safe place - I can do at least this much. The mother and girls are not here at present, but when she comes, I will keep talking to her about bad effects of child marriage and try my best to convince her to not marry her young daughters.

Originally posted by: SPuja

Thanks juslikethat 1 - I think my best bet is suggestion no. 3 & 4 above. Actually, I am not young, I have teenage sons and I am the lady of house, my mother does not live with me. The girl does not have any mobile and being illiterate, it is not expected that she will remember the number - I will write down the number (after finding about suitable NGO) and give it to her to keep in a safe place - I can do at least this much. The mother and girls are not here at present, but when she comes, I will keep talking to her about bad effects of child marriage and try my best to convince her to not marry her young daughters.

Sorry about the gaffow about your age😳 You seem to have it all sewed up😊 All the best!

I think more than stopping marriage from happening it's better to talk to the mother and the daughters and find more about their background.

The issue involved are both economic and social and there is no easy solutions to the problem . It is a deep malice affecting rural India particularly. With the migration of people to urban areas there is somewhat a better appreciation of this problem for urbanites. The economic deprivation of the family forces it to marry off the girl child at the earliest so that someone else will take up the responsibility of fulfilling her day to day requirement. It would require a lot of capacity building for the girl child so as to be economically independent. For this the support from family and govt is of absolute necessity as it is a very long drawn process. They consider early marriage as a protection against violence to woman like rape. Since violence against woman is equated with loss of prestige for the family, such marriages take place even though parents are apprehensive of the future of the girl child