Fiza' OS Gallery... RahGuzar Pg42 21/3/2014 - Page 24

Requested by rim...its a boring OS...😆.. i m sorry if it feels so... its a TS abhi tak tu... hona tu yeh Vday spl tha yet me n my non writings aj kal... hope u like it...

Red female

Blue male

RahGuzar

Life suck, ya a big time ... u know tht feeling when slowly and very carefully, with a smile tht person u love like anything, a smile tht adore to their face saying they are doing all this for you yet slowly n steadily they suck ur blood from ur veins and thn a time cums and ...

Dhat...

That is exactly wht happened whn u have been given an assignment on integrations and limit...probability functions and wht not... just tell me who the hell has given brains to the curriculum designer.. cant they see we chose medical for the sake of our well beings .. from getting the ultimate shield... The non-mathematics statistics.. studying shield... yet here I m turning pages of this book... I cant understand a think...

Its slight drizzly outside.. the most beautiful picture has been sketches outside the window of this library... the tickling of the cold wind causing the autumn leaves to finally gave up and fell down... yet they take few droplets of the wet angles with them and carpet the alleys ...sigh so romantic... the only think in all this I can imagine is a hand in mine and a walk on those aisles with my beloved... silence and love all around... but here I am ... mein aur meri tanhai... Sigh ...

dafn seene meN rakheN wasl ke armaaN kab tak
aatish e hijr jalayegi miri jaan kab tak

tangi e zeest ka ho jaye use kaash ahsaas
ghaflat e yaar kahaN tak shab e hijraaN kab tak

Zeest: viability

I couldn't hold yet to write these lines on the book.. and smiled at my foolishness... ya I was feeling alone rite now... there is no me n hate between maths yet I m hating anything right now... U know tht feeling whn u feel really tired .. tired of holding urself all by urself.. today from nowhere this feeling has just arrived inside me... Its capturing me.. and I just donot seems to be getting out of it...this feeling tht I will b left like this dying alone all myself. No body will ever get to know me, or will actually want to have me..its stupid yet its true im actually feeling so... yet I closed the book place it back on the shelf.. and left... mayb a walk alone on those aisle may help also ... the way imagining it with sumone does.. imaginations are always the best medicine, the escape thy provide us is unmatchable.. the only thing tht can match is imagination changing in reality ...

And then there I was on the alley..walking on the dry leaves enjoying the sound of them crushing.. it always give me a feeling of hope.. the feeling of autmn.. tht old torn are sheding ..new blooming are coming ... tht sumthing new times hold.. sumthing tht is as good as blosming flowers .. I smile and look down this kitten ... who was on the walk with me now is climbing up n down on my shoes asking why I stoped here... seriously I m hating this feeling surrounding me.. the feeling of no good time holds for me...

My frnds no there are none.. those companions have are no frnds... thy are all busy rite now in there own stupidities..

The rain started to pour more ... and I have to go away rite now... I turn around and was shocked sacred... and I put my feets back I bit... wht the hell this man is doing here... I look here n there is he really standing here... tht is not the question wht he is doing here... and to more he is scaring the hell out of me with the frown and "looks can kill " wala look.. and then he run away... and I touched my face and turned around all around checking is there any ghost or witch or anything... chukling at this weird spices and took my bag tht was hang around a tree and walk to the bus stand to home.. and suddenly im feeling good.. and all smily... ahh nature... has its own way to heel everything ...

...

Today I m seriously gonna work on this assignment... yes im going to,.. as I love making myself ultimately close to my goal... role reversal ya darlings... yesterday the walk on the aisle really helped me... u wont believe how beautiful nature is... I wasn't feeling alone with autums leaves, rain drops birds, and breez with me.. I was feeling surrounded engulfed in the warming arms of nature... feeling there is some to hold me.. Really capturing me

So today whn I look at all the problems and dose calculations.. the A nova... the chemo regiment designs all feel like a piece of cake... and I have solved it... yupii im done...and I raised my hands in air and said soo... so books shut this time with a great smile on my face of accomplishment ...im loving myself... shabash... I really patted myself..

Yet my stupid grin disappear seeing the smirk on his face... he was watching me.. why... I sheepishly looking here n there and then again to him... the idotic teasing smile was still there... ullu k ... why he is doing so ... ofocurce why.. in the middle of the library im sitting talking to myself n all he must be enjoying a comedy movie all this time.. i sheepishly smile at him and returnd back to my work reopening the book... And his smirk changed into smile... ahh the azming, deviling, captivating and must tell u rare one...library for him is a place just to study.. alone... tht is..

Ya fine im alone to yet I alos cum with my frnds most of the time... to chat or just to relax here... ya ya I know its not a common room but still...

Oh my mistake u must be thinking whom I m talking about from last day... .. I m talking about Mayank Sharma, the handsome hunk.. who is right now I think is sittng with another one of this per week interest... at times I think girls are so desperate tht they just can do anything to be around him.. no matter he will nt raise his eyes from his book... to drown in there eyes... But sigh u can blame them for trying for atleast wk and after tht ther will b another one trying for it... but he will not raise his eyes to them ... he almost give a dam...

I like tht in him... always in control of whts rite n wrong... yet having his shares of super fun also.. he is abig time flirt but knows how to just limit thm there..

Why im talking abt him ... errr.. mm actually I had had might it had a tiny miny small pinky little crush on him...

Ya ya n u were imagining ur walk with him on the aisle...

Oh hello u donot get to blame me whn he was standing write in front of me.. whn I turn around and he was looking at me as if he has saw a ghost ... he kept staring me as if I had done sumthing and thn disappears.. geee.. he is spooky... and u imagine holding his hand n walking... ya so I was scared tu..

Very well my updates about him done.. I need to go n see samrat n my frnds...

Just whn I was about to close , sumthing caught my attention rather took my breath away...just where yesterday I had put those lines for myself satisfaction... sumone has as if ..as if actually answered me...

Kahan aakey Ruknay thaay Rastey,Kahan Morr thaa, usey Bhool Ja
Vo jo Mil Gaya usey Yaad rakh,Jo nahin mila ,Usey Bhool Ja

Vo Teray Naseeb ki Baarishein kisi Aur chatt pay baras gaein
Dil-e-Bekhabar meri baat Suun,Usey bhool ja ,Usey bhool ja

Mein tou Guum thaa teray he Dihan mein,Teri Aas Teray Guman mein
Saba keh gaye hai Meray Kaan mein,Meray Pass aa usey bhool ja

Saba: wind..

( where the aisle closes where they are turns, forget tht

Those u have remember , those u havene, forgot tht

Those blessing tht were ur fate are nnow sumone else destiny

Oh heart just listen to be.. forgt tht forgot tht..

I was lost in you , in your hope, in your thoughts

The wind has just whispered .. cum to be fogot tht )

I just looked at those lines,, I know them..i m and ardent reader of poetry... yet they never felt so beautiful as they are appearing rite now... I looked all around and found nobody looking at me... even tht smirky guy has gone... only samrat there and I know he has no taste for such ...

They were beautiful lines.. as if said just for me.. as if sumone was calling me.. as if sumone said he understand.. as if he is asking her to hold his hand..

Break darling wht if it is she... I spread my hand on this and than bit my lip..but than he would have stoped at two stanza... the fact tht he understand and is calling me to him, gave me gossbumps.. I have nevr came across sumone having such taste.. i just cant define the feeling im feeling rite now..

You know tht moment whn u were praying and complaing god tht why nobody try to even give a thought to understand me, look at wht I m actually.. just than it feels my prayers are being answered...

I know this is really stupid... I m just again weaving sumthing tht even might not exist... these lines sumone might just have wrote like tht for fun.. for playing along... yet me n my weak desperate self want to belive they are just meant for me... thy are the ultimate answer to my prayers to my hopes, to my calling ... and this time I want to take the risk n I did

I need to answer this person.. I want to know who this is... there was a sudden urge to hold this hand so desperately ... there was sudden urge to imagine wht if its him...

Bheer mein aik ajnabi ka saamna achcha laga
sab se chhup kar woh kisi ka dekhna achcha laga

surmaee aankhon k neechay phool se khilnay lagay
kehtay kehtay kisi ka sochna achcha laga

I wrote this have and checked tht I have written it rightly or not... and looked it and than againg looked it... I was sacred and prepared... this might just make a fool out of me.. mayb sumone rite here mayb be one of my frnds must had played a prank on me... but im gonna take this risk... I close the book and place it securely on the shelf.. suddenly I felt tht this book needs to be secure...its precious... its more than precious ...

Today whn im walking my way to bus stand.. im feeling my heart beat raising, the anxiety eating me up... the thought tht maybe 2morow there will be nothing to hold on to... nothing even not this stranger ...

Whole nite I passed looking at the pic I have taken of tht book, I took out all my old poetry collection and started to read.. today each word tht I have read thousands of time felt all new.. all words were now promoted to feelings ... they were expressions'.. indications of the gone sanity ..and I just still can giggle on myself.. the happy giggles tht just suddenly cum up..the blushes who were there ... Bs yuhi...

But sumhwere in all tht I was scared too.. scared of closing my eyes .. wht if the dream I m weaving is mere dream... it not even close to reality.. and deep down I know tht... tht im just holding on to a fragment... I scnes out of a fairytales... Yet im holding onto it. .. cause I belive im an optimist and for me miracles to happen... so are fairy tales real...

The morning came... and it brought all the anxiety with itself... the same corridor on wch I walk evry day.. was appearing being specially decor by the autm leaves... marking my path to the destination... wch appears to be more my destiny... Yet I have to wait till my classes got over.. to walk on the destine path...

I was trying myself to conc on wht my frnds were saying wht the lecture was going all about.. yet nothing was appearing anything interesting .. I was just trying desperately n was wishing tht time passed pls let it pass...

And now im siting in front of wht seems like a simple book.. yet hold the world to be.. I close my eyes and opend them taking a deep breath and opened the book...

Yet wht I found was Nothing... literally nothing there... no words,... no writings.. no feelings... nothing .

Originally posted by: kheya-mayur

i just dont get it.
u r allready done with the story,phr aysa adha-adhura update k matlab kya hai.
i cant take dis zulm.

by d way had an essence of NEELA'S writing in this ff :P