Can Sandhya be inspirational?

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

After seeing Sandhya under rating herself after remembering Bhabo's flash back do anyone of us think Sandhya can be inspirational to the younger generation. I mean leave us married woman. We can relate to lot of problems of her and her confusions, but will a young girl in her late teens or early twenties who is as aspirational as Sandhya would like to take marriage route seeing Sandhya.

Leave that matter any young girl who has even achieved a career would she like to get married seeing Sandhya is unable to take any decision regarding her career properly.

I am putting this because I have 2 younger cousins one in 2nd year B-Tech and other doing her 12th std. Both watch DABH. They used to watch it for Sooraj-Sandhya romance as well as the fact that Sandhya is going to be an IPS officer. They raise a lot of questions to me about marriage after seeing DABH. Some of the questions I am really unable to answer. They ask why Sooraj is not questioning his mother after knowing about LC. They ask doesnt Sandhya's individuality matters to RP. They ask whether all their happiness will go for a toss post marriage. They ask is it worth pursuing a career in a pressure cooker state. They ask whether it is worth marrying at all if you end up like Sandhya post marriage.

I mean Sandhya not at able to enjoy in TA has increased the number of questions I get from these girls. Though I say dears dont look at DABH , look around see me and another cousin of ours and our bhabi all of us pursuing active careers post marriage the next question comes

Didi Soumya didi is in Bombay with jiju, Sindhya Bhabi is in US and you are here with your parents only going to jiju's home weekly so does that mean we should avoid getting married into joint family or should look at how the boy is connected to his mother. If he is a mama's boy like Sooraj stay away from him? I am stumped again for answers.

So I am putting these things in DABHILY so some of you can help me by putting your thoughts for the above questions. Because these girls are you know love to question anything and everything about tradition, religion and all. Since my aunties are stumped always their next target is me 😃

That is one part, but what I really want to say is listening to their questions on DABH somehow I feel CVs are not presenting the show in the right manner to choose the next gen right messages.

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vishnu

@vish.naren

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Hello Shruthi,

1st of all, its glad to see a person giving opinion/comments from personal side about DABH..!!😳😳

it kinda highlight the idea of DABH??!!!!⭐️👏

One reply u can choose would be from Neelu Ji's reply...!!

" The people can take this character as negative only with the fact that she belongs to a village and she wants to live within certain boundaries and she never wants to go beyond that. "

i.e. this is a story of people who belong to Village, and village customs!

kinda showing how difficult its for them to accustom to Working Women in Household...!

so of course we should suggest people to marry / choose partner/would-be-family according to personal interests, i.e. they should be able to accept the persons right to work/enjoy/etc...!!

there are many factors, that people consider..!

of course none would like to marry a mama's boy, 😃

since he would not give u a chance to cross the barriers..!

primarily, the women should be able to choose the option as well...!!😳⭐️

how ever Sooraj'sa is not completely mama's boy!😳

1, he is not ready to leave the option of following Sandhya's Dream!!

-the night college,

-the fact that they haven't consummated for so long..!

-etc...!

thus having a hubby like him also add upto some points..!!😳

some more about family...!!

+sus of joint family:

1, help! financial or emotional...!

2, guidance!

3, u will learn a lot to manage..!!

-ves... of joint family!

1, gossip?

2, comparison!

3, trouble in equal sharing

Bottom Line: about the Title of the Post.!😳

people should be inspired..!😳

from Sandhya to follow a their dream at worst circumstances..!😳

from Sooraj'sa to support their partner! 😳

from Bhabhp to change the old customs and to accept and realise new/changing world!👏

from Bhabha'sa to have forward thinking⭐️

from Mean Sibbling to know that " its worth nothing to be Like that...!!😛"

Edited by vish.naren - 11 years ago

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Bharathi

@b2011

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

Nice post Shruthi and a very nice comment Vishnu.

Whether DABH/SurYa are inspirational or not depends on individual views. Agree with both your cousins questions/opinions and Vishnu's.

My opinion is many viewers just watch the show plainly and they will be demotivated like your cousins seeing Bhabho's orders and SurYa suffering from it.

Only people who analyse the characters, situations and positives and negatives of the situation can understand and learn or get inspired. I find the forum very useful and informative for such analysis.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Thanks Vish for a beautiful reply. I have also answered to them in that way. Dont you think I wouldnt have after all the analysis I put in the forum. I give them situation why Sooraj is taking such a stand, why Sandhya has to do like that. A lot of things I have replied. But the fundamental questions remain

- Is it worth marrying a mama's boy. I mean for the support Sooraj gives to Sandhya she is forced to prove to Bhabo again and again she is a good bahu. For the past 2 years she has been proving it multiple times but still it is being expected out of her.

- Is it worth proving yourself multiple times. Why not once Sooraj or Sandhya can speak their mind to Bhabo

- If Sandhya has to be Sooraj's shadow why Bhabo is not Babasa's shadow.

- Is it worth marrying to live a life like this. Yes you get a loving partner. But I am fine even if I get 50% less than what Sooraj actually is if he is firm in protecting me from his mother's unreasonable demands😃

See they would love to watch DABH as a love story and all they enjoy it. But the show is not building up the aspiration in them like Udaan did to some of my elder cousins

I mean what I meant was the younger crowd should feel that they can have career post marriage in a positive way, not in a pressure cooker situation which at present DABH is portraying from their view point.

Only if the younger ones feel positive we can call this show aspirational else its a good love story. Remove the aspirational tag from it.

Edited by shruthiravi - 11 years ago

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

Nice post Shruthi. Sandhya for me was inspirational in the beginning as I truly believed they will free her from the shackles of Bhabo's stranglehold and make her an independent free thinking woman. The idea of a bahu from a traditional household getting into the civil services to my mind was a revolutionary concept. I started watching the show with that hope to materialise. Unfortunately from what I have observed the TRPS audience seems to be from a traditional background and they would like a dominant Bhabo with a submissive Sandhya. To cater to them they continue to show Sandhya to be a victim of Stockholm syndrome where the victim starts following the captor blindly. They could have chosen any other profession for Sandhya if that has to be the line of thought...IPS requires you to be very independent and you will not find a single IPS officer who kowtows like this to the MIL as they have shown in Sandhya's case. If it is hair cutting it is the family, if it is pregnancy it is the family, if it is trophy it is Bhabo...there is not even a single decision she has taken on her own even after passing IPS. A profession which expects you to serve the country...be available at all times...be ready to get posted anywhere any time...do you really think as of now Sandhya is upto it...I don't think so...Sandhya is no longer an inspirational figure who should be emulated by the girls of her age. In fact I would advice them strictly not to.You have to watch DABH keeping logic and rationality aside just for its entertainment quotient.

Coming to your cousin's questions. They are not from the background Sandhya is from so they need not fear getting married. This is a story from a semi rural milieu. I don't think present day educated girls will put up with mama's boys or an oppressive MIL. They would just call it quits...I find boys in my family very accommodating...helping out their wives...encouraging them in their careers...MILS also these days have learnt that if they want to retain the affection of their sons they have to be more adjusting. The scenario is not as bad as shown in DABH as education and financial independence of girls has definitely helped them in getting an independent say in the family matters in most cases at least in our class of society.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Thanks a lot Umaji. I was especially expecting your reply to this post, because I knew you could give me some insights on how to answer the youngsters questions. Thanks a lot once again.

Because their question is not why Sandhya or Sooraj is doing certain things, but is it worth doing it beyond a point

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

Shruthi, SurYa kowtow before Bhabo as it gets them the TRPS. 😆 In real life the boys and girls need be worried about that so they will be independent in thinking.😆

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vishnu

@vish.naren

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
Thanks Vish for a beautiful reply.😳😳😳 I have also answered to them in that way. Dont you think I wouldnt have after all the analysis I put in the forum.⭐️ I give them situation why Sooraj is taking such a stand, why Sandhya has to do like that.👏 A lot of things I have replied. But the fundamental questions remain

- Is it worth marrying a mama's boy. I mean for the support Sooraj gives to Sandhya she is forced to prove to Bhabo again and again she is a good bahu. For the past 2 years she has been proving it multiple times but still it is being expected out of her.

No no, and never..!! 😃

- Is it worth proving yourself multiple times. Why not once Sooraj or Sandhya can speak their mind to Bhabo

Bc'z its a serial, and they are so obssed to show the whole family thing! (and so is StarPlus😉😆)
at least i'm glad that they told they can not Have a Child during that puja, but Suraj'sa being shown as still going with Bhahbo's words by drowning himself in Water..!!😕

- If Sandhya has to be Sooraj's shadow why Bhabo is not Babasa's shadow.

Seriously don't know, i guess its the upbringing and situations,😕

I've personally come across such people in life..!! 😕 Duh..!! some time they remain partial to their younger Kid, and so against the elder one. etc..!!🥱

- Is it worth marrying to live a life like this. Yes you get a loving partner. But I am fine even if I get 50% less than what Sooraj actually is if he is firm in protecting me from his mother's unreasonable demands😃

its only worth it, if the whole family is good, 😳

but mind you and everyone...🥱 i've come across so good looking family turning into tormenting their DIL, its just that they are not fast-forward and not ready to accept the lady with some extra thought, they just would like to remain in the Old Fashion!

so did i come across the other way around.! i.e. the story of Camel (we have it common in Malayalam..😆, we say I don't like Camels..!!😛😆) you give space to your DIL and she starts using it..!! she wouldn't even take care of the Hubby!!

I think from family to the Bride n Groom should undergo some good Discussion, Sessions with some nice Doc, etc (i've heard that some Christian Families in Kerala follow such traditions, rare but i think its something great and big..!!⭐️⭐️), before getting into the marriage ceremony! 😳😳

and also spend good time in discussing each others, and trying to cop-up etc..!!😳

See they would love to watch DABH as a love story and all they enjoy it. But the show is not building up the aspiration in them like Udaan did to some of my elder cousins

I mean what I meant was the younger crowd should feel that they can have career post marriage in a positive way, not in a pressure cooker situation which at present DABH is portraying from their view point.

Only if the younger ones feel positive we can call this show aspirational else its a good love story. Remove the aspirational tag from it.

😳 true,

but i consider it piece by piece, i mean each message of each track or so..! so i kinda okay and inspire/take a message from it...!!
bc'z i consider Bhabho for TRP like Uma Ji mentioned..!!😃😛
and I hope you can convey the message/even read out Uma ji's reply...!!😳😳

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Tacker_Holic

@Tacker_Holic

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

I am quite young I guess and I watched this show with full hope that Sandhya would change the mindset of Bhabo and the RP. But I was wrong. Infact now Sandhya is being controlled by RP rather than her own mind and heart. I know after marriage you have to consider your family and your in laws especially when you live with them but it does not mean you follow them blindly. I know it makes the situation more difficult in the household but where is that inspiration, that confidence that Sandhya had. This is what I looked up to in Sandhya that no matter what happens she wanted to become an IPS officer.

I don't think it is entirely Sooraj's fault because though being a mamma's boy he has broken many limits to achieve his wife's dream. Though I do wish Sooraj spoke up a bit more when Sandhya is terrorised by Bhabho but it is not in his nature to do so and I don't think he will ever become outspoken. Sandhya is "Bhabo's puppet" and this is what I didn't expect to see. I wanted Sandhya to speak up for herself and show the family that though the career I want to go into is going to take me away from the family but there are so many benefits towards this. The CV's have completely ruined the IPS theme I think...they could have shown it to be much better and gain TRP's. I understand drama and tears=TRP's but they could be different.

I am no longer inspired by Sandhya because I feel there isn't that energy, that enthusiasm which she had before. Sooraj is more enthusiastic and excited about her dream than she is. Right now her dream is "to please Bhabo and her 8th promise"

Personally for me I live in a country and a society where educating and working after marriage is a norm for a woman so it wont stop me from marrying but yes I will do a "deep analysis on my future husband's family" before I say yes. For your cousin sister's I would tell them to don't be inspired by Sandhya anymore. It is a fictional show. Keep striving and achieving what you want but before you marry your partner be clear to them about what you want and what you want to achieve if need be.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#10

Thanks a lot Sonia. You are more less in my cousins generation. So your thought process counts a lot. And I am happy to know that a girl like you no longer considers Sandhya inspirational and would like to understand your partner's family before you take the big step.

I have told them a lot on not to take DABH seriously and they shouldnt think about marriage as a pressure cooker. But you know they do love to question.

That's why I put in the forum to know whether others are also in sync with some of my views on the aspiration aspect of the show