Posted:
My dear Bhavini,
First of all, I cannot understand why you are so apologetic and hesitant about this piece. What matters, here and indeed anywhere at all as far as writing is concerned, is the ability to express the emotions of others, even strong emotions which you might have never felt yourself. And by that standard, you have done very well in this, and you can relax!
I loved it that you have made your Jodha cunning for once, able to plan and execute such a very risky siyasati chaal. I liked this twist of yours better than what they showed us last night, which was filmy to excess, with that hostage drama and the total incompetence of the Mughal soldiery.
In fact I myself felt, and wrote repeatedly, that Benazir would never be so reckless as to try and poison Jalal in the midst of the whole court, and depend on Adham Khan's prior arrangments to make her getaway. A woman as astute as she is would have realised that the moment Jalal was dead, the first thing Adham would do would be to kill her to prevent her from betraying his part in the assassination.
So your script is way better, as is the neat way in which the antidote is found. I expect that tonight it will be Mahaam and Ruqaiya who will extract that information from Zakira.
I liked Moti's outburst against Jalal and that too to his face. In such extremely stressful conditions, all normal codes of behaviour fall by the wayside, and grief and rage take over. Then again, Moti is no mere daasi, but a close friend.
Your Jalal has come out well, right down to your explanation of why he smiles just before being asked to come for the sevaiyaan eating ceremony. But I must add one key point.
The seriousness of any mistake, in this case Jalal's disbelieving Jodha's accusations against Benazir, depends on the amount of damage caused by the mistake, in this case Jodha being at death's door.
But for that, Jalal's lack of faith in Jodha's accusations - especially after the milk test and the search of Benazir's rooms prove useless - is understandable. After The Shove, his feelings towards Jodha have become very bitter, even though his weakness for her obviously persists, and he sees her face everywhere. His sense of humiliation at what he sees as her having led him on and then rebuffed him, and the rage this stirs up, are still very much alive.
It needed something as drastic as this to overcome that rage and humiliation. In that sense, the CVs were right in their melodramatic track. Your take on this matter is just as effective, but less melodramatic and more plausible.
So don't worry, my dear Bhavini, you are doing just fine.
Shyamala Aunty
First of all, I cannot understand why you are so apologetic and hesitant about this piece. What matters, here and indeed anywhere at all as far as writing is concerned, is the ability to express the emotions of others, even strong emotions which you might have never felt yourself. And by that standard, you have done very well in this, and you can relax!
I loved it that you have made your Jodha cunning for once, able to plan and execute such a very risky siyasati chaal. I liked this twist of yours better than what they showed us last night, which was filmy to excess, with that hostage drama and the total incompetence of the Mughal soldiery.
In fact I myself felt, and wrote repeatedly, that Benazir would never be so reckless as to try and poison Jalal in the midst of the whole court, and depend on Adham Khan's prior arrangments to make her getaway. A woman as astute as she is would have realised that the moment Jalal was dead, the first thing Adham would do would be to kill her to prevent her from betraying his part in the assassination.
So your script is way better, as is the neat way in which the antidote is found. I expect that tonight it will be Mahaam and Ruqaiya who will extract that information from Zakira.
I liked Moti's outburst against Jalal and that too to his face. In such extremely stressful conditions, all normal codes of behaviour fall by the wayside, and grief and rage take over. Then again, Moti is no mere daasi, but a close friend.
Your Jalal has come out well, right down to your explanation of why he smiles just before being asked to come for the sevaiyaan eating ceremony. But I must add one key point.
The seriousness of any mistake, in this case Jalal's disbelieving Jodha's accusations against Benazir, depends on the amount of damage caused by the mistake, in this case Jodha being at death's door.
But for that, Jalal's lack of faith in Jodha's accusations - especially after the milk test and the search of Benazir's rooms prove useless - is understandable. After The Shove, his feelings towards Jodha have become very bitter, even though his weakness for her obviously persists, and he sees her face everywhere. His sense of humiliation at what he sees as her having led him on and then rebuffed him, and the rage this stirs up, are still very much alive.
It needed something as drastic as this to overcome that rage and humiliation. In that sense, the CVs were right in their melodramatic track. Your take on this matter is just as effective, but less melodramatic and more plausible.
So don't worry, my dear Bhavini, you are doing just fine.
Shyamala Aunty
Hello Friends... I have written this OS based on Friday Precap... My mind is stuck at the precap... and getting difficult for me to wait so decided to write on it... Please ignore my grammar and mistakes... My main concentration is on their emotion... how Jalal and Jodha will react to this
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