One Double Standard Kostin - Page 13

Originally posted by: Kalyaani

NB you make a valid point, every other day we hear of atrocities against women and none of these women dressed to titillate, they were regular girls in schools, colleges and workplaces.

Women covered head to toe in burkas are not spared so where does the question of covering up come into picture. No one I mean no one can touch you without permission irrespective of how you are dressed.

Coming to a serial, it is fiction and make believe, there are bound to be some liberties taken and we should take it with a pinch of salt. If we want everything close to reality we can watch a news channel which anyways carries new of heinous acts of mankind.

Originally posted by: Naach_Basanti

Sorry i dont agree to this. why should a woman be asked to cover up because men cant behave? For all I care, I could walk around with a bikini in the streets, but no one has the right to touch me without my permission.

Until we change our mindset- " that it is one's behaviour that has to change and not one's clothes," the rampant treatment of women as sex objects will continue. And mind you that wont stop just by women covering up completely. While I was at uni, I was covered up from head to toe as I had to take the bus. But that never stopped anyone from ogling at me, or passing lewd remarks, with some even trying to grope me.

By all means I agree when people question the authenticity of the clothes, but to me it is just that. I don't think one should expect Paro to cover up for the purpose of women's safety.

Originally posted by: meera30

I am in awe of Sanaya's acting and she is a beautiful woman but the truth is that her beauty is being used to portray exoticism where the story doesn't call for it. As some have said before me, the supporting cast doesn't support similar dressing and hence the lead sort of stands out - and maybe THAT is the idea.

Then again, I have this take on so many other shows there are on TV - the clothes that women of limited means (supposedly) wear and the kind of make-up and jewelry that is on display, makes me wonder if the need to be "real" even features in the PH's agenda. - the answer I think is a loud NO.

And unfortunately I cannot even blame the PH for being vain because I know of women who watch shows because a certain character dresses well and looks stunning - and they are the ones who watch more regularly and therefore are the show's "real" audience.

Kind of like Karan Johar's movies in their extravaganza, no?

PS: Swati - hola! I don't watch the show but all these friends from another world tug me here. I don't subscribe to male undressing and drooling either so hopefully I am steering clear of hypocrisy :D Oh and if this post makes no sense, ignore everything else but the hola :D

Originally posted by: charlotte74

In an ideal world we can ask why should a woman be asked to cover up and that men should behave. But we don't live in and ideal world.

One has to understand that men in western cultures are more more mature in certain aspects where they have learnt not to ogle at women and behave much more decently toward women. If I am not mistaken most older women are well covered and the ones who dare to bare are high school students and the young dating crowd. I speak from experience as I have had the opportunity to live and work there for a few years.

I don't feel the same comfort here where I live in India -- a suburb close to a village. The problem we face in India now could be due to social and economic reasons.

Social :

Due to female infanticide we also have problem of woman to man ratio which is becoming a major issue here.

Our culture of joint families, also expects certain decorum to be followed by women. For Eg: I wanted to make sure my in-laws understand that I was not going to wear Indian clothes just to please them. But I would still hesitate to wear a spagetti top and shorts and walk around with my father-in-law in the house even though my husband has no issues wearing shorts.

Large section of society still does not believe in the the concept of dating and pre-marital sex is taboo.

Economic : Large section of society is in a low income category which means either of the above is not affordable to them

Large section of society is still illiterate which means they don't understand their own right let alone women's rights.

Given these state of affairs, it is highly probable that being deprived of something other cultures might think is natural, they might be prone to ogling, eve-teasing, harassing and in extreme cases an assault.

Corruption also plays a very important role in the sense that we don't have enough law enforcement bodies that can reach in time for help.

I think under such circumstances, only education and a strive toward a better economy will help our society. But until problems are resolved at a higher level, women should do what is in their best interest because simply protesting is not going to cut it.

Originally posted by: pink.lotus

education in the going-to-school way does not help in straightaway changing what is essentially a civilization issue. the parvarish... the education inside the home matters more. before a little boy or girl reaches school going age, the seeds of this prejudice are already planted . educating the mothers, increasing their world view, helps a LOT in bringing up a more tolerant next generation. making a civilized crop of kids is a job largely dependent on the parents, more than the teachers.

Originally posted by: charlotte74

In an ideal world we can ask why should a woman be asked to cover up and that men should behave. But we don't live in and ideal world.

One has to understand that men in western cultures are more more mature in certain aspects where they have learnt not to ogle at women and behave much more decently toward women. If I am not mistaken most older women are well covered and the ones who dare to bare are high school students and the young dating crowd. I speak from experience as I have had the opportunity to live and work there for a few years.

I don't feel the same comfort here where I live in India -- a suburb close to a village. The problem we face in India now could be due to social and economic reasons.

Social :

Due to female infanticide we also have problem of woman to man ratio which is becoming a major issue here.

Our culture of joint families, also expects certain decorum to be followed by women. For Eg: I wanted to make sure my in-laws understand that I was not going to wear Indian clothes just to please them. But I would still hesitate to wear a spagetti top and shorts and walk around with my father-in-law in the house even though my husband has no issues wearing shorts.

Large section of society still does not believe in the the concept of dating and pre-marital sex is taboo.

Economic : Large section of society is in a low income category which means either of the above is not affordable to them

Large section of society is still illiterate which means they don't understand their own right let alone women's rights.

Given these state of affairs, it is highly probable that being deprived of something other cultures might think is natural, they might be prone to ogling, eve-teasing, harassing and in extreme cases an assault.

Corruption also plays a very important role in the sense that we don't have enough law enforcement bodies that can reach in time for help.

I think under such circumstances, only education and a strive toward a better economy will help our society. But until problems are resolved at a higher level, women should do what is in their best interest because simply protesting is not going to cut it.

Originally posted by: Naach_Basanti

Yes I agree. But if they decided not to, then the woman in question shouldn't be blamed or held responsible.

Im not asking anyone to protest, Im saying that just because Paro wears clothes that reveal her midriff, it doesn't given any man an excuse to ogle or misbehave with other women.

So asking her to cover up for women's safety to me is a moot point. (I know you didn't say that, Im just saying)