DOTW - why divorce is crime in PSH ???

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Ron

@ronshaan

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Hello every oNe

this week we will discuss about vikram - reva divorce reading - vinnie's story - this will give us the weekly topic at this point - vikram wants to divorce reva / sugni feels she is the reason of it / divorce not accepted

in the Psh - he wanted to divorce reva / hid the truth/ tried to marry sugni / sugni found out / tried to divorce reva / divorce not accepted

why the divorce is not accepted in both stories ???

why sugni feels she is the reason ??

if u were vikram what would u do ???

if u were sugni what would u do ??/?

**since psh ended but we have ffs this week em going to use vinnie's ff for the topic of the week 😃 so vinnie hope u dont mind

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b4uvarun

@b4uvarun

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

RONIT GOOD TOPIC ACTUALLY RONIT SUGNI BELONGS TO THAT VILLAGE WERE ALL THAKURS LEAVE THERE WIFE FOR BEDNIS AND ALSO VIKRAM LIES TO SUGNI ABOUT REVA IS ALIVE & BACK SO MUST BE SUGNI THOUGHT THAT VIKRAM IS ALSO A CHEATER HUSBAND & HE WANT GIVE REVA DIVORCE FOR HER

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Ron

@ronshaan

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

hmmm that's true shweta

well since me following vinnie's story

in her story - sugni knows very well that vikram is married / she loves him / he loves her but still she decided to move aside because she feels divorce is a crime

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b4uvarun

@b4uvarun

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

IF I WAS VIKRAM I TRY TO MAKE SUGNI TO UNDERSTAND THAT MY WIFE IS SELFISH WHO JUST MARRY TO ME FOR MY MONEY SO I DONT WANT LIVE WITH HER
AND
IF I WAS SUGNI I HAVE NEVER DONE THE SARDHAKAI I BETTER LEAVE THE
PLACE AND GO AWAY OR TRY TO UNDERSTAND VIKRAM MORE

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Ron

@ronshaan

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

No decent girl would like to be a reason for a divorce b/w husband and wife

we had such lady - in astitva - named kiran who was the reason of abhi and simran divorce we all hated her for this

even if any girl has such feelings for married man its WRONG i wont say it rite so I can understand sugni's opinion

divorce is not the best option nor its good to have But But But

in some married people its the best option - like - if the husband or wife is violent / if one of them is cheating on other ext

I think vinnie handle divorce in her story very nicely -

vikram loves sugni and vice versa

he told her about the divorce he wants

she feels she is the reason and stays away

he gave her the option to move out of his life by moving to the city -

this should be done by the CV

vikram go back and has to divorce his cruel wife !!!

no matter sugni wants him back or not but its great that she wont be the reason of their broken marriage

after being divorced if she wants she can accept him if not then Not !!!

in psh - vikram told sugni he is divorcing reva - sugni felt she is breaking his home and she did the worst thing she sold her self which was not accepted by many !!!

any ways - vikram should not wait to get sugni's aprv

he should go back and divorce reva - find out a way out of it !!!

go to sugni after divorce - if she accepts him then ok if not then ok too ... this way sugni will realize she is / was not the reason of divorce !!!

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Rakhi1608

@Rakhi1608

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

Agree with u Ron, I dont think its wrong to give divorce,if husband and wife not going together well.some times they stay together just because of their children.some families i.know personally.

Now ,About PSH , for me, every charactor of PSH was beyond understanding except THAKUR SAHIB.

I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND SUGNI'S POINT OF VIEW.

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Vinnie79

@Vinnie79

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

Nice topic,
The divorce issue in PSH was really messed up. I think the fact that the idea it was acceptable to us all rather than shocking had the CV's in the show confused.
Yes marriage is sacred, and a life long commitment. But when it is hurting rather than helping I think Divorce is an option.
Vickram was shown to be married to a woman who lied, wanted his money, violent towards him, they were emotionally disconnected , basically living under the same roof hating each other. Had no children...So what was the point in them staying married? Reva was said to be an educated woman...they lived in the city it was not like the concept was new.
Sugni not wanting to be the cause of the marriage breaking up I can uderstand at the beginning. Especially , like in PSH when what she saw was REVA's sweet face. So if she did not want to be cause of that then she should have opted to move away , ok so they are poor had no where else to go. Stay away from the haveli and in your mother's house!
You don't expect the man to leave you alone if you are in front of his face 24/7 taunting him!!!

You can't force some one to stay married...so I don't get what exactly was Sugni trying to do in the whole situation.!!!

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payal7

@payal7

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

Interesting topic Ronit

1. I said that at the time and I will say it again

- no one can make/demand someone stay in a marriage they do no want to.

- marriage is a complicated business and only the 2 people in it truly know whats happens/happened in that relationship

- Divorce is an alternative to being in a relationship where 1 party does not want to be in it but is forced / blackmailed / guilt tripped into being in it. That leads to either affairs or resentment which then turns to hatred.

-why does one person's feelings/needs/happiness matter more than the other person's.

Everyone's position was that TVS was unfair in wanting to divorce Reva. If he threw her out without any consideration I would understand but he was prepared to make provisions for her for the rest of her life as he considered that to be his responsibility. To me thats what a decent person does.

I had sympathy for him becuase he fell in love when he thought he was free to. He moved on and when Reva came back he could not go back. If his marriage had been a happy one he would not been able to reject it soo easily but as he said to Reva their marriage was over long before her accident and that she may wish to start again and forget all the bad times but he will not ever be able to forget the good and bad times. Deep down he knew that if they gave it a go it would be matter of time before things went back to what they were. Who would give up being happy to go back to a bad / dead marriage.

I understood Sugni's point she did not want to be reason for his marriage break up no matter how many problems there were /how broken it was.

If she did not want to be part of it then she should have walked away. If she explained it to him he would have understood, would have let her go and would have helped her to acheive her dream.

But her answer was to put herself (I accept initally she did not want to be in the haveli) right in his face with his own nephew. How do you save the person who loves you more than life's marriage - by going soo far away from them with the hope that with time they will forget you. You do not flaunt your relationship in their face, in their home because than they are likely to see red!!!!

As for Adi, for me he was far worse than Sugni (at least she was hurt and wanted hurt TVS) because he had no reason to be as cruel as he was. And his stance was hypocritical - here is a educated guy from the city and he does not understand that divorce happens? He was worse because he owed his existance to TVS because his own father dumped him without a second thought and he repaid him by falling in love and marrying the girl his Mama loved and taunting him that he has he only thing that TVS wanted.

He was also a hyprocite because he dumped Amu who he had been a relationship with for 3 years without so much a courtsey and then dictates to TVS that he stays in his marriage. To me it sounded like do as I say, don't do as I do.

My lasting thought always was TVS was fundamentally wrong in what he tried to do but what eveyone else did was soo much worse that he still looked better than all of them !!!!!

BTW - Ronit Sugni did not sell herself to save his marriage. She did for one reason and one reason only - to hurt the 2 people who destroyed her dream. G because she would not tlet the Reva issue rest (She said to G if my heart gets broken in the future than so be it but why are you destroying it now) and TVS for breaking her trust and letting her take his side against her mother even when he knew he was in the wrong. Deep down she knew he would not let her do it thats why rather than quite private sardhakai she announced it in public. She wanted to hurt him, humilated him but safe in the knowledge that ultimately he would save her.

Edited by payal7 - 12 years ago

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Julie

@JulieD

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

Divorce in that village was probably taboo because then all bednis would have expected their thakurs to divorce their wives and marry them. Then how would these thakurs be able to have many women?

Anyways, along the lines of Vinnie's FF, I understand Sugni. I am glad that she did not go back and he accepted her decision. She is from a remote village where no thakur has ever divorced his wife and marry a bedni. So I would say that she was probably afraid of the enormity of it and then she did not know that he wanted to divorce Reva anyway.

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Sara Baksh

@sara1993

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

Very interesting topic Ronit

Well this happens to be an issue that i feel very strongly about. In my opinion, a marriage is a sacred bond and a lifetime commitment. It is not only the union of a man and a woman, recognized by law and the eyes of society but it is soo much more...it is based on the foundations of love, trust, honesty, respect and understanding. Without these elements it can NEVER survive. You make a promise to each other with God as the witness to always stand by each other, to love and to take care of each other's happiness... now if for some reason the two persons are unable to fulfill these promises...when the relationship becomes unbearable ...causing more pain than happiness...when there is no love, respect or understanding between them then in such case...i can understand the option of divorce... there is no point in two persons being in such a relationship.

Vikram and Reva's marriage is one such example ...i guess before Reva met with an accident...he tried very hard to make the marriage work ...he fulfilled his responsibilities towards her...i agree keeping the truth from Sugni was wrong even though he had no ill intention behind his actions...and speaking from Sugni's perspective...if she wanted to save his marriage then i agree ...she should have moved to another village...try her best to start life afresh...of course it would have been a very difficult task given her depth of love for Vikram but marrying the dude's nephew and living in his own house wasn't the wisest decision either... how on earth did she expect this to make things better between Vikram and Reva...i honestly don't know 😕...on the other hand, what Sugni should have atleast considered was giving Vikram a chance to explain his actions...i mean knowing the kind of person he was ...the reason she fell in love with him...she should have given him a chance...try to understand his situation...and had she done that then maybe both of them could have made a mutual decision and the outcome would have surely been different... it is wrong to force your opinion on others... sometimes in life, a situation is more than what meets the eye...and for once we need to put ourselves in the other person's shoes...consider their feelings...before making a decision... a marriage brings happiness to one's life...not sadness and pain... and in the end everyone is entitled to their own happiness.

So even though this idea of divorce was not properly conveyed in PSH...i'm absolutely sure that Vinnie's FF will do justice.😃

Edited by sara1993 - 12 years ago