Can Abeer be a good husband ? Share your views - Page 3

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

@Amri you didn't read my post. Where I have put clearly why I don't think him to be a husband material. 😆😆😆. How could you miss me. . I have even given examples of other fictional characters and what I liked about them. 😆😆

Originally posted by: -Amri-

Aww, Shruthi😳🤗 I am just looking at the entire thread and had read the first page before replying. The discussions were quite interesting. I just finished reading the previous 6 pages and read your replies. You were bang on, and said everything that needed to be said.👏

I esp. liked your comment about how your husband helped you adjust in your own sasuraal- hayy. *nazar utarna of Shruthi and her hubby*😃

Originally posted by: .SSS.

This is something which I can't talk anymore, for the sake of my sanity!.. I was already banging my head for this.. Can't take more stress..😆

Originally posted by: sharoon3210

@shruthiravi

Thanks for clearing the doubt. But giving the testimony happens only in movies & shows. But in real life, no one will have time to go to the cops & lodge a complaint in cities like Mumbai. If any one goes to give a complaint, police will keep them in custody & they have to prove their innocence in the court.

For that matter even in Bangalore & other cities, there are so many hit & run cases but only the family members of that victim has to bear it.

Nobody actually cares. At the most that victim is admitted to the hospital.

Originally posted by: malikakas

@cool Kirti

I think our difference in opinion comes from the fact that I don't see how Abeer has the right to make the determination Akshat is negative. Not saying Akshat won't turn out negative but Akshat hasn't done anything worse than Abeer has ever done so far.

Akshat touching Alia was wrong. But wasn't it just as wrong for Abeer to exploit Alia's sexuality and using her to lure Akshat like that? He didn't even ask Alia for permission to use her. He lied about the intention. Does that make Abeer a better man?

Akshat touched Alia inappropriately because he knew he was being framed and wanted to make her uncomfortable enough to run into Abeer's arms. But he wasn't actually getting off on it. If I were Akshat and someone was trying to frame me, I would think that woman is very cheap and deserved whatever tactic necessary.

But Abeer has also touched Meher inappropriately to make her uncomfortable. Like the dance at Nissar's party and when Meher had to kick him in the gut. So if Abeer can cross a line to prove a point, I don't see why I should have a higher standard for Akshat?

At least Aksaht doesn't try to get physical with Meher against her permission the way Abeer does. Abeer is her ex so he doesn't have a right to touch her when she is saying no. Can you imagine if Akshat faked an injury to hold Meher in his arms.. we would all think he is cheap even though he is her fiance. Yet Abeer does that.

This whole thing started with Abeer using Akshat's car as a washroom. What had Akshat done to him at that point? So do you think Abeer is unbiased enough to make a decision that he is better for Meher than Akshat?

Even Abeer chose to spike Meher's drink to bring her true personality in front of the world to get revenge against his father humiliating him. So how can Abeer think Akshat was bad based on that. When Appendix was pointing out how great of a catch Akshat was compared to him-- did Abeer stop and think that maybe he is right and that he wants the best for Meher. Or did he try to trap Akshat on false charges? So no i don't buy that Abeer is looking out for Meher's best interest.

I am glad you brought up your parents forcing you medicine. But Abeer is not Meher's parent. This is my fundamental problem. He doesn't have the right to decide what is right for her. He does not have the right to force himself on her which is what he has been doing. There is no law that says an ex-wife needs the approval of her ex-husband to decide on who to marry even if there are kids involved.

Frankly I am not even sure if Abeer has the understanding to know what is good for himself. If Abeer had any sense how could Akshat goad him into drinking when he knew he had a press conference? He chose to fall into peer pressure, something he is now teaching his son to do. Telling Ishaan he looks like a loser in glasses? I don't think Abeer has any idea of what a good parent is supposed to be.

Saying all that I think Abeer has the potential to be a better husband and father than Akshat but I don't think he is there yet where he can point fingers at Akshat's actions.

Yeah forgiveness is important. But how many times can you forgive he same mistake? Repeating the same mistake becomes a gunnah as Abeer said. How many times did Abeer fight with Meher and leave her for the night. They were married for a month-- he left at least 5 times after promising to never do it again. Meher easily forgave him every time. But the last time was the straw that broke the camel's back. I am not saying Meher acted perfectly but she tried to understand his perspective and change herself something Abeer did not do. And Abeer has not changed. He still was running in there to fight with Meher when Appendix stopped him.

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

@cool_kirti I agree with Mallika. Abeer can be a good husband if he tries, but so far I have not seen anything in him that can be termed as needed to live a happy married. He simply doesn't respect Meher and her views. He doesn't give her space. he doesn't try to understand why she is doing what she is doing. I don't know whether you have seen DABH or EHT. But let me put some points here on why Sooraj and Dev stands over and above when it comes to becoming a husband

Sooraj understands his wife is unhappy in the marriage because he is only 9th pass and she is well educated. Because of the societal pressure she is unable to break the bond. To give her a second chance in life, to ensure she is not the one who should be faulted by the society the sweet gentleman becomes the most abusive husband throwing her out that too in front of the whole gali so that she gets the sympathy. He destroys his character for her. Yes he loved her, but loved her enough to let her go.

And yes they unite.

Once he knows her dream of becoming IPS officer, his mother putting pressure on her to move ahead with married life and seeing her confusion he takes the decision to have a celibate relation till she completes IPS.

She leaves her dream, but he doesn't allow her to and literally carries Sandhya so that she becomes IPS.

On the way he takes lot of blame on him, but every moment he guards her reputation. And it is not that she doesn't guard his reputation, but the path he walks make you respect him all the more.

In EHT a choice is given to Dev. If he marries Durga, Nithya will come in front of him on her birthday. Dev knows the mistake he committed, not being there for his friend when she needed him the most. He takes the punishment by letting her go, letting her have her wish. Because when he walks to the mandap he doesn't know Durga is Nithya. He leaves his love behind to fulfill his duty as a friend. That was his love for Nithya.

And when he finally knows Durga is Nithya there is an imaginery convo happening between them. That convo shows how much Dev has understood Nithya and her need at that point of time because he steps back not confessing his feelings for her giving her the space to do what she wants.

And that is what I call maturity which Abeer completely lack at this point. Yes he knows Meher loves him, but does he understand her, can he let her go. The answer is big no. And true love is in letting go.

Abeer didn't marry for 8 years I can give to Devdas also. After Paro married he went on drinking, drinking and died. Neither he lived,nor he allowed her to live. And I don't call it maturity. I call it living in the past, fool hardiness and escapism.

And coming to Akshat Abeer does not hold any right to hold him negative, bad or whatever. Akshat is another personality with grey shades. But Abeer is not perfect either. Before throwing stones at others, look at yourself once and your actions.

And leave these fictional characters I know how much space my husband has given me in my married life. How much he had supported me in understanding his family, helped me to navigate relations in his family as a new bride. And how much that support has helped me managing relations and had laid the foundation of a good married life.

A girl comes to the boy's house holding his hand, with he as her sole support system, trusting him, leaving behind her family and surroundings that are familiar to her.

And if she gets a baby and her husband in Singapore not owning up the responsibility of pregnancy, mistreatment from his family, she does turn out to be a Meher.