Dear Laila,
I have watched PR right from the beginning, and in my 14 years of Indian TV serial watching, off and on, and the last 3 years of it in India, this is the only serial I have stayed with, with a gap of a few months before the 18 year leap. I used to miss many episodes when I was working more than full time as a professional diplomat, and it was only after I retired recently that I became a regular of PR at least. Even then, I was a very detached viewer, and never bothered to analyse either the characters, which seemed like cardboard cutouts, or the story, till I stumbled into this forum just last April, and discovered this kind of blogging for the first time in my life.
It was a new hobby,and I enjoyed the writing and the interactions with so many others, of like mind or not, and made a number of young friends. But it became too time consuming and, ultimately, pointless, and when Purvi forced Arjun to marry Ovi, I bowed out for all practical purposes. I come back once every few weeks, as I did 2 days ago, and comment if I find something of interest or write the odd post. I have no intention of coming back here to post regularly.
Now for your comments. It is rarely true that couples who marry without love do not have marital relations. If that were so, all arranged marriages would collapse. This apart, at least for men, as you yourself have noted when you describe a jilted man's likely behaviour on the rebound, they can have affairs without any love, with no problems at all. So the two things are distinct. In any case, the way things are now in more than a few parts of the world, with promiscuity at times the norm rather than the exception, what is all this talk of love? It is mostly anything but love.
Though in a different sense, it was the same for European and British aristocracy and the Boston Brahmins till the early 20th century, when most marriages were contracted for status and birth, plus wealth, of course, and never for love. which was looked down upon as something meant for the lower classes. The French had
la dot (the dowry), as had the British, with America heiresses on the lookout for a title and impoversished British peers on the lookout for a fortune married for entirely practical reasons. It is worth noting that this dowry was completely controlled by the husband, unlike the concept of
stree dhan in India, which, at least in theory, is the sole property of the wife.
The whole idea of romantic love was never, even in the West, as widespread as one imagines, and it was rare in Asia outside literature. And yet any number of marriages without it survived and thrived. What is needed is respect, trust, and affection built over time, with the cementing factor of children.
A problem comes in only when one of the couple loves someone else, which is the case here.
My solution for this kind of situation, which should of course never have arisen if Arjun had had even an iota of good sense, would have been for him to go away to Canada with Ovi, and over time, he would have got adjusted to her. When she gets her own way, she is remarkably undemanding, as she was with him before Purvi came into the picture. Plus, they have known each other since they were kids, and that would have helped too. Unless he decides that it too much to take, in which case he should have told Ovi he wanted out and filed for a divorce.
Instead, he hangs around here and moons over Purvi, who keeps stealing anguished glances at him from the kitchen and dishing out his (now) favourite
lauki ka halwa, while Ovi raves and rants. No wonder it is a mess.
One last point. You have noted that no young man brought up in Canada would have taken a full scale jilting the way Arjun does. But he does not need a Canadian upbringing for that; an Indian man, likely to be far more of an MCP, would have reacted either violently or with total disdain, and would, in no uncertain terms, have washed his hands off a female who obviously preferred her mother to him. Arjun, however, is one of a kind, a special, made to order, Balaji product.
. Shyamala B.Cowsik
Originally posted by: Laila2009
Thank you. I am not easily entertained by the romances on these shows. Nearly all follow the same format - two people hate each other and then fall in love. I was never entertained by the romance. It had some good moments but that was it. Then, as expected, the couple didn't end up together - instead the goody goody girl had to engage in some sacrifice and gave up her loved on.
I could understand her apprehension in marrying Arjun but Arjun's decision to go trough with it was stupid. Ovi was obsessed and suffering from depression. How many girls in the world don't get the guy they want? What happens to them? They move on with their lives - get help etc.
However, Ekta's writers are void of creativity and all they know are girls who sacrifice and remain silent as if it is not possible to speak up for yourself without being ugly about it.
What people don't realize and what is NEVER addressed is that couple's who marry that don't love each other, cannot have intimate relations with each other so why was everyone so stunned that Arjun and Ovi had not consummated their marriage? How stupid are these people?
I will read your link.
I want to make it clear to everyone, I am neither a fan of these jodis nor these characters. Nevertheless I find it entertaining to watch - up to a point.
Originally posted by: sashashyam
Dear Laila,
I liked this trenchant critique a lot, and I would buy your basic premise, that this is a nutty and intolerable bunch of non-grown ups, even if I am not on the same page wrt the details. If you have the time and the inclination, you might like to take a look at my latest, impulse post of 2 days ago, PR yesterday: All set for the leap, or stumble? , @
I used to write very often in the PR forum till about 2 months ago, when I saw the light and promptly became completely disillusioned with Arjun-Purvi and all the rest. It saves me a lot of time and much wear and tear, but many of my forum friends are undoubtedly sad at my apostasy.😉
Shyamala B.Cowsik
Edited by sashashyam - 13 years ago
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