Posted:
Kools reporting from base : Haveli ki Raat in PR .
Whimsical Varsha bluntly asked Decent Satish and Bhags WHAT they were hiding . NOTHING said Bhags who has perhaps by now the record for the maximum LIES told by a holy man , rivalled perhaps only by his pretty wife Holy Archu .
Why r u HIDING ? Ha ? asked Decent Satish , pretending he wanted to tell Varsha the truth . Cmon Lets tell her the Sachaai ! Cmon Bhags ! U wanted to tell Sachaai na ? Ha ? he asked loudly , as a zapped Bhags looked on .Decent Satish wanted to throw his head back and go into hysterical peals at this moment , such was the pressure on his decent , gentlemanly head .
Its nothing darling , we r planning a SURPRISE for Batatwada and Vaishu so they can sort out their DIFFERENCES said Decent Satish , getting a hold of himself .
Bhags looked on with helpless sadness . What did u do Decent Satish , he thought privately , U made things MUSHKIL for BEHEN VAISHU . Coz I cannot tell u the truth , u did this GALTI in ANJAANE . [ Huh ? HUH ??? Whats stopping u , u classic twit ? From telling Satish the truth ? Any PURPOSE ?You are only the one who is making things MUSHKIL for Vaishu with your phoney holy LIES}
Whimsical Varsha was THRILLED . She decided to do ALL the arrangements HERSELF .
She first arranged for a BONFIRE inthe middle of the Haveli's tiled floor , not at all bothering that it may leave charred stains on the lovely tiles of the haveli . The Owners can sit on their knees and wipe them with soap later , she thought , with a toss of her happy head . It will be SUCH excellent exercise for them .YA .But a BONFIRE is a MUST for romantic ambience .
Then she put on YA Rabba Song and became very very romantic with Decent Satish . She held his hand and took him up the stairs and showed him dusty chandeliers and asked him to imagine there were BIRDS chirping on it . Very soon BACHCHAS will chirp in my home just like those imaginary birdies , thought Whimsical Varsha , delighted . Now that I am gonna be MAA , I gotta teach Decent Satish to imagine like THIS only . Poor Decent Satish, who knew better than to even dream of nOT COMPLYING told her that there were exactly 24 birdies . She beamed at him .
Batatwada tried to touch Vaishu but she told him he was a SLIMY TOAD with her Eye language and wept and pushed his hand away .
Holy Archu kept her head on Bhags shoulder at THE END of the song like a boring old lady . Thats as far as the romance of the Divine couple can even THINK of proceeding nowdays .
Then Whimsical Varsha decided she wanted to talk to Junior Batat who was still in Vaishu's womb . He shud also be SHAMIL in this Haveli Nite she thought , like a dutiful MAUSI . Junior Batat , Junior Batat ! she called out to him by putting her hands on a zapped Vaishu's PET . Hi ! Its ur Fav Mausi Varsha ! Darling I am planning SO MANY SURPRISES for u when u come out ! Come out SOON ! And wanna know what ONE of the surprises is ? A Little Sister for u to play with AFTER u come out ! Ya , a BEHEN ! Mrinalini ! Decent Satish MAUSA has nodded his head when i informed him today morning that I have discarded the TWINS idea and finally settled on the BETI only ! He ALWAYS nods his head to whatever i Say ! OMG I am so so happy ! U will come soon na Junior Batat ? U will look EXACTLY like ur Dad won't u Junior Batat ?
Unable to bear this Holy Archu ran away , weeping . Vaishu looked tired and slightly dazed . Although her whimsical sister's whims didn't surprise her , the thought that there would be one more face like Batatwada day in and day out near her all the time , looking up at her with calculating eyes and a dimpled chin sapped her energy .
Whimsical Varsha didn't tell Junior Batat about the bachchas that wud come forth from the divine. loins of MAUSI holy Archu and MAUSA Bhags . Crackpot she may be and whimsical as a lark , but even she had sensed the low libido between the divine couple and didn't expect any bachchas for a long time to come .
Don't pay any attention to her , she told Junior Batat , giggling . She is always like this , in a SADIYAL MOOD . Lets IGNORE her , ok Junior Batat ?
Needless to say , Junior Batat CRINGED inside . His mom's side of the family scared him . He preferred the cheerful Marwadis from his Dad's side , they relaxed him .
Then Whimsical Varsha arranged for a DANCE and insisted that the moments shud be recorded in a camcorder . So that WHEN WE FIGHT LATER WE CAN SEE THESE MOMENTS AND BE COME HAPPY AGAIN . U know na , we start fighting and insulting in just two two months . So when we r DUKHI we shall see these moments !
So the song Meethe Meethe Bol was put and Whimsical Varsha and Decent Satish danced merrily . Batatwada tried to take one more Chance by holding Vaishu's arm to dance but she was so unable , so unable to bear his slimy touch that she ran away to PUKE . Poor Batatwada smelt his hand .He had sanitized it THREE times in private , yet it was nowdays giving Lady Macbeth's bloody hand a complex .
Holy Archu and Bhags didn't know how to dance . They tried to for a holy second and then Holy Archu ran after Vaishu , probably to hug her while she was puking or weeping . She has ZERO interest in romance and her own marital life . She and Bhags were thinking of bringing two more cots in that chawl room ...one for BEHEN VARSHA when she needed sahara and wud come to reside in the Kholi and one for SLAPOCHANA so that she cud rest her ample frame there on the afternoons she visited after eating Halwas . She and Bhags wud lie in between those cots and stare at each other if it ever STRUCK them occasionally that they were married . They had practice from their first 15 days of their FIRST marraige .
Two faced Manju told her Evil Mom that she was too grumpy nowdays to give her the usual evil advice , needed so badly to survive in the Karanjkar home . UR NOT THERE WHEN I NEED U MOMMY she said , pouting .
OK OK , said her Evil Mom who was worrying about her son Wise Ajit who had stood guarantee for that financially incompetent twit Bhags . What happened .Out with it .
But two faced Manju made ISHAARAS towards her vahini GOAT VANDU who was sneakily listening to their conversation .
Evil Rassi immediately rectified it , of course . That kind of thing never was a big deal to her .
Aie , go and bring SHAKKAR from shop , its OVER . And go to medical store and bring PAINKILLERS .... She ordered the Goat bahu .
But the medical store is very very Far away bleated the Goat Vandu .
So WHAT . Ur legs r broken or what . Go tell ur Rich Dad to buy a car for u then , Huh ! Baat Karti Hai ! shot back Evil Rassi venomously and the Goat peed a little and scuttled away to do as bidden .
Then her daughter told her that something was VERY FISHY about Vaishu and Batatwada and the 3 Karanjkar sisters , THE MAHARANIS were hiding it from her . Mommy , Find it out for me na , she pleaded .
Ok , I will , promised Evil Rassi .She loved her daughter . She even loved Wise Ajit . The Painkillers were not an excuse , she REALLY needed them as that pest Bhags was a royal pain in her a........s , making her son stand guarantee and all .
Meanwhile Vinod was watching Wise Ajit collecting interest and dealing with the ferrywallahs . He was really doing a good job , and Vinod wondered if he too cud join them and have a slice of the pie since he was on the verge of becoming a bhikaari now and he hated depending on Two Faced Manju's income for survival .She wud treat him like a KUTTA then . Vinod shuddered . First only she eats me like a BUTTA ab to Main Ban jaoonga KUTTA he thought with cold fear .
Won't u guys need an extra man for this job ?He asked hesitantly .
Sure we will , Wise Ajit informed him cheerfully as business was thriving . But u see , thats Bhags decision to make . It was HIS idea and this is HIS business . He will dECIDe and appoint that extra man .
Vinod Gulped . He wondered which was the frying pan and which was the fire ........quietly surviving on Manju's income as a KUTTA or approaching Bhags for a job ......The very same Bhags he had called a CHOR . Life is so Unfair , the thought unhappily . I haven't harmed a FLY in my life and see the choices God gave me .
The Kudi phoned Batatwada at a most inopportune time and got fired by him as he had just a minute ago turned into HYDE .
Where the HELL r u she barked , making the mistake of sounding bossy and nagging , a factor that Batatwada HATED when he was in HYDE roop . He LOVED subservient , mellow voiced females who massaged his chubby back with sesame oil .
HEY ! Don't forget ur AUKAAt ha ! Who the hell r u to ask me where I am , ha ? Dont u dare forget ur my BIWI in NAME ONLY ! In reality both u Biwis .....Legal and illegal r only my DAASIS , my SLAVES ! So stay in AUKAAT of my HAREM and remain in ur limits ! Ya and if u have bloody conceived , go to Poona and don't show me ur thobda again ! I tolerate u for Varun , samjhi na ! Don't think its for ur buxom body or buoyant soul ! Chal Chal , Chalti Ban ! I am not THAT kind of a man like Bhags and Decent Satish , SAMJHI ! I am a HE MAN , a REAL MAN . Women bEG to sleep with me and i REFUSE !
The poor Kudi was so shocked , so shocked at his rudeness that she SAT on the highway and sobbed uncontrollably . The poor darling was even then controlled enough NOT to emit a cry like her SOUTEN Vaishu .
In the Precap we see Marwadi Saas noticing the Kudi seated on a bench while some gundas leer at her .I think SAAS will save bahu and bring the Kudi home .
My comments :
Dharmesh needs to be WHACKED by both the women . CVs plz dont dare showing both women becoming MAJBOOR for bachcha . I want to see him being WHIPPED in court . š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”š”
Poor Ajit ! Its Manavs business when finances were arranged by Ajit , guarantee risk was taken by Ajit , Work is being done by Ajit and Manav is gallivanting after first two days of business outside Mumbai ? Frankly Ajit seems far more hardworking and responsible than Manav .
Archana was far far better off in her first marraige in Deshmukh home ......on her own , she is unreined and unchecked in the utter NONSENSE she is doing under the name of GOODNESS . Instead of doing her own ghar sansaar she is full day involved in maayka problems .These sisters wud not have had the himmat to climb the steps of Deshmukh home due to Savita , and Manav wud be hundred percent lesser involved in these girly problems that r none of his business .
Kools signing off for the day .Enjoy darlings and CIAO .
Bindi
Udne Ki Aasha
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
