To thee, I have come with a quarrel, My Lord… Even as a mere mortal that I am, with You-Almighty, I have a quarrel. And yet, only to You, I can turn for any succor or grace. He... Ganesh, judge my quarrel and prayers.
Was it not You, The Bountiful, who had granted me the most beautiful person-internally as well,-as my companion of the life, even when I was filling inadequate to such blessings? For she was the person, I idolized from the moment, I first became awakened to her; For she was the person whose very presence was making me oblivious to the rest of the surrounding- so much so- that even a glimpse of her shimmering green Pallu, swishing over the balustrade of a railway foot bridge, would pull me out of an accelerating rail-car. For she was the person, I have never imagined in my dream, to be approachable, and yet You had fused my life with hers! Why was that largesse? - Only to be withdrawn later? Only to be parted in such cruel a way? And pray what play Thou hast in store for our days? Forsaken?
Tarun's stern rebukes-"To hell with your commitments, if they subtract your life,"-so rightly-ever spurring me to face the hell, if that is the payment I were to pay for a breach on my commitment. Yes, I would prefer a hell in the after life if I were to stay united with Archana in this life. Yes, all I want is to LIVE a life and not forced to grow larger then that life.
But then again, how do I attain a heaven if its road is through the snuffing of Sachin's last memory-a dear brother whose untimely departure can not be entirely exonerated from the shadow of my own unfortunate trials? How do I betray the trust of Aai whose favourite child had been violated under that shadow? No, renege is not an option left to me.
But then I am shuddering at the sight of Her resolve-her resolve to stay committed to my worthless memories; her resolve to stay unmoved in life, when, so valiantly, she is contributing her own sacrifice in fulfillment of a commitment, which was never her own nor made with her consent. My last drop of courage is failing me to convince her otherwise, to move on in the life. Why have you made me a bane of her life? Why am I destined to bear such a heavy cross of cowardice when in reference to her?
And how was that Commitment made? What other fines is it going to draw out of me? Since when had I encouraged/ provoked those stifling effusions of a woman from Shravni? Was it not a compromise call extended to only a helpless mother and never to a woman who was so recently attached to Sachin?
Extract me out of this turmoil- tumult of a dilemma that I am not equal to solve. Bappa, show me the way. And if You have ordained this trial irrevocably-these burning of all my desires - a ruin on divorce, then grant me one last prayer… In years to come, prop me up till I can discharge the brought up of Sachin's child and then after, grant me the quickest end of my ghost walk through the joyless years of my barren life.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
