I have just managed to take some time to collect my thoughts on yesterday's episode to make a post on it. Most of what I felt I've shared in various discussions and threads already so I will sum it up here.
The episode focused on a couple of interesting themes that some of you have touched upon already: Minnie acting her age, physical gestures of affection, and explicit versus implicit communication of feelings. In between, we also got some glimpses of Minnie saying things she had subconsciously picked up from HS without realizing it. I was truly bowled over by the subtlety with which the writers put those dialogues in.
Minnie started the day off trying to convince her parents to speak to each other about their feelings. While talking to Babita, she became irritated and asked her if she wanted her to narrate Satyanarayan ki katha, sounding just like HS here as we have heard him say this a few times. In general, Minnie was acting her age for the first time as a child throwing tantrums, wanting to get things done her way, not listening to reason or wanting to be logical like an adult. It was a welcome change for me as an audience to see her sulking and both her parents trying to pacify her. HS was not going to miss this opportunity to observe her mood and shower some laad-pyaar on his Veer Balika. As Minnie stood up in annoyance, Babita tried to sit her down but it was only on HS' insistence that Minnie obliged. He always has a way of getting through to her even where Babita fails.
I loved the way he had this whole "awwww meri pyaari bacchi" air about him. The way he was talking to Minnie with so much open affection, pulling her down to sit beside him when she was about to go off in a huff.... his demeanor was completely different. When she sat on the sofa again, instead of leaning on Babita, it was his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder, pulling her close to lean on him like a father does. He had never done that before. In fact this was the first time he had initiated something like this, otherwise he would usually just return her hugs or comfort her when she cried.
To me, it was the perfect image of a father cocooning his child to make her feel as if she was the only thing that mattered in that moment. He addressed her as one does a 5-year-old "Very good girl, tell me what the matter is". It's true that emotions are often considered more important than words or actions but sometimes you need to verbalize them or show them in order to reassure your loved ones. Minnie missed out on all this from Ashok and it warmed my heart to see her get these little physical gestures of affection from HS.
I have a feeling she's going to go from maa ki beti to daddy's girl at some point and I am eagerly waiting for that day.
While trying to convince HS and Babita to speak their minds she made a reference to one having health issues as a result of keeping one's emotions bottled up, and it reminded me of the time when HS had told Babita something along those lines in episode 163.
Dil ki baat dil mein rakhne se khoon ghat jaata hai badan mein.
Mann mein rakhne se na sareer kamjor ho jata hai.
Of course, HS could not resist teasing her by talking about the chooran for digestive issues but soon realized he had gone overboard. In the name of being serious, I love the way he set the scene.
Aaj na chhori mausam bohot zyaada suhana hai
Bohot hi beautiful hai
It seemed to Minnie that he was going to say something about his feelings and she was eagerly waiting for it. I was wondering if these lines referred to Babita, to their time on the balcony, to the way he had started his morning, or to all of the above. Whatever it was, we saw a shift in HS' focus - he wanted to remove all the clutter from his house and his life and restore it to its shiny glory, as if to make a fresh start. Spring cleaning to coincide with this new spring in his life. In the same vein, Babita brought up the topic of frozen peas that she could now defrost ... coming out of hibernation in the spring that follows a frozen winter, like her frozen emotions and her life that had previously been stuck in a rut. Minnie was unable to understand the symbolism behind his thought and sought refuge from up above. Again it was a great contrast in how various generations think about love.
The sight of the trio sitting on the couch was heartwarming, with Minnie in the middle forming the connection between HS and Babita, and their love. HS saw her temper rising and started the countdown. For a couple who are the masters of communication using unspoken words, I genuinely think neither of them knew what she was expecting from them. We, the audience, know she's been trying to play cupid but they have no idea and did not take any of her hints. They needed to be told explicitly.
Minnie witnessed her grandparents fighting like a typical old couple, until Naeem Bi and she began talking about HS and Babita. Minnie discovered that NB was already aware of their love for each other. I am glad she found an ally - she will get to learn more about love from various generations and how to navigate the twists and turns of this journey. She also overheard Dadu and Beeji fighting over things they thought the other person did not know, such as Dadu eating gudh and hiding it from Beeji, sparking off a new plan in her mind. Of course, she was going to learn that one size does not fit all and that there was only so much you could push a couple.
Sharaabi Kahin Ka
Naeem Bi began by asking HS to take his life seriously. She tried to emotionally blackmail him by asking him what she would do at this age if something were to happen to him. She is sharp tongued, but her bluntness shocked him a little, as to how she could say such a thing about her son. He didn't miss a beat and started defending his drinking pattern.
Peene ka kya hai?
Dekho ji kabhi mahine ka 2 4 8 10 baar pee liya to pee liya, kaunsi badi baat ho gayi is mein? Pahad koi toot gya koi?
Aur tum to aise baat kar rahi ho jaise main koi kati saraabi ho gaya bada waala.
I loved the way she smacked him on the shoulder like a typical mother to show him how many bottles he had picked up from inside the house, and then said "Sharaabi kahin ka". He clearly did not like this label and defended himself by saying he had a reputation as a police officer, to which she showed him the mirror as to how his reputation was affected by his returning home drunk, especially considering there were two women at home. This alarmed him as he thought they had complained against him to his mother.
This was the second time he referred to her becoming senile, but Naeem Bi was one step ahead of him, emotionally blackmailing him because alcohol was more important to him than his mother. As she raised her hands and looked up towards the heavens, she asked the Lord to take her. This scene was a great parallel to Minnie doing something similar earlier on. HS looked up towards at the same heavens and silently asked the Lord to spare him all this. I loved his monologue where he, in his usual hilarious way, admitted defeat and decided to not engage with any women as he knew it was futile.
It might have seemed like a playful nok-jhok scene but every single thing NB said was of great import, as were his responses. He knew she was right, but he continued to make light of the situation because he did not want to face the underlying problem behind his addiction. That is why we saw him become very defensive about it throughout the episode.
Just a little note on this scene: when HS tossed the pile of old newspapers to one side, there was a cloud of dust that was shown. Brilliant touch by the CVs!
Parent Trap
Minnie called her mother out on her net addiction, winding her up to the point where her rudeness would anger Babita. Of course, once Babita was wound up, it was easy to lead her out of the room and downstairs. I loved the way Minnie ran down the stairs and straight to Naeem Bi, hugging her so that she could be protected from her parents' scolding. This was another heart-warming scene with Dadi-poti showing so much affection and scheming together. Very sharp contrast to her equation with Beeji, who she adores, but who would never be able to mentor her the way NB does.
I love the way HS and Babita both switched on to parent mode. Usually a parent does not take sides with their child if the other parent is complaining about the child's behavior or disciplining them, so as not to undermine parental authority. Babita began complaining to HS about his daughter's antics, as though they had been her parents forever. It was a wonderful moment to watch, a subtle yet obvious change in dynamics. We see this often with parents - if the child misbehaves it's "your child" and if the child does something well then it's "my child".
HS, knowing that it would take something major for his daughter's mother to complain to him about her behavior was quick to go on the disciplinary stance, while Minnie gave him the oh-so-innocent look. As per the dadi-poti plan, HS took Babita's side while Minnie snuggled closer in to hug her dadi, who was on her side. Really adorable. I was really happy to see Minine learning about all the different colors of love between people in so many ways. That she also gets to experience unconditional and unwavering
HS, still annoyed after his earlier argument with NB would not accept her input, considering NB had called him a sharaabi. This time he defended his drinking as occasional, and reiterated to Babita that he should not be labeled an alcoholic, appealing to her to defend him too. Of course, the plan backfired when Babita agreed with NB. HS, annoyed at being singled out, immediately switched sides and agreed with Minnie. It again showed that Babita was not on the same page as HS yet regarding their relationship. Beeji and Dadu can fight others over each other because they love each other and have been in this relationship for a very long time.
On the other hand, like Dadu and Beeji, HS and Babita began arguing about each other's habits even ones they thought the other was unaware of. HS called her out on chatting till late in the night, and warned her about getting motey motey lens ke chashmey, another link to show his influence on Minnie as she had used the same words when arguing with Babita earlier.
Babita mentioning that she had seen him return home drunk on a few occasions made me wonder if indeed he had begun drinking more frequently (off-screen!) than we have seen. Perhaps he has really become an addict and Babita was right to be concerned about his liver. They both left in a huff, especially after Babita called him a patthar. My dear lady, he is anything but.
Then it was time for a heart-to-heart on both sides. Naeem Bi encouraged Babita to show HS her concern and express her feelings openly. She pinned their reluctance on their pride, which was preventing them for declaring their feelings to each other. Here too, she emotionally blackmailed and shocked Babita by saying HS would damage his liver and eventually die if his drinking went unchecked. She urged Babita to stop him from drinking, since Imarti was no longer around to do so, and she herself could not. I wonder why Naeem Bi said that. Was it because there was something holding her back from stopping HS or was it because she felt her words had no effect on him? I felt sorry for her today, it must be hurting her to see her son destroy himself gradually like this.
The conversation between HS and Minnie was really touching. As he put bottle after bottle into the carton, he paid close attention to the problem she had come to him with. Minnie, being the smart kid she was, pointed out that her concern was not her mother's addiction itself but the loneliness behind it, the gap which Babita was spending hours online to fill. The moment she said she wanted to rid her mother of her loneliness, HS became a little bit uncomfortable. He knew where this was going but did not want to say much at this point. He could see the parallels between his dependence on alcohol and Babita's obsession with social media because the reason behind was the same. He understood the situation at little too well.
HS pointed out, however, that Babita was not alone, that she had Minnie. My heart went out to him as he had that haunting, vacant look in his eyes. Babita could call someone her own, but HS was completely on his own, drowning in his loneliness day after day, night after night. Minnie left no room for doubt that she understood what her mother was lacking, as she explained that yes, she would be around to support her mother but no, she could not be there all the time.
Mere alawa koi aur bhi chahiye usse apni life mein, koi jo uska friend ho, uska partner ho, jo uska ho, sirf uska.
She looked at HS with expectant eyes but he was forced to look away after this statement. Sure, the two of them had made peace after their last fight but they had not discussed this further. I think he was slightly taken aback that Minnie had so soon progressed from wanting to take her mother away from him to wanting them to be together always.
This scene was beautifully done when Minnie said:
And most importantly, jo usse pyar karey, jaise aap karte ho.
as she knelt on the floor and held his hand, beseeching him, pleading with him to be that man for Babita.
His daughter had finally understood what he had been trying to teach her about people needing emotional support, she had finally accepted that he would not hurt her mother the way Ashok had. His refusal to express his feelings to Babita confused Minnie as she could not understand what was blocking him. She even went as far as to tell him that she had seen the depth of her mother's feelings for him, that Babita never said anything and he never understood.
He stunned Minnie (and me) by responding:
Tanne ke aisa lagta hai ke main na samajh pata?
Arey main sab samajhta hoon, mein bhi dekh sakta hoon, uski woh tadap, aankhon ki wo nami. Sab dikhta hai manne.
Why was I stunned? Because it was so refreshing to see a ML who knew exactly how the FL felt after several months together and did not need to hear it out loud, as opposed to being confused, unaware, and needing a hundred misunderstandings before he got the point. His assessment and understanding of Babita runs so deep that he has always been with her in her journey towards him. He has seen the transitions, the change in her approach and behavior, the emotions in her eyes. He knew when she had fallen in love with him but continued to wait patiently. The song dedication merely signaled to him that she was ready to take the next step and slowly start acting upon those emotions.
Again, these are great lessons for Minnie, and for kids of this generation who believe that emotions must necessarily be expressed in clear words and that's it, "love happens and they live happily ever after". She could not fathom why he would not express his feelings to Babita directly, until a light went on in her head where she thought he was still hurt because of her words during their previous argument. This incident will also teach her about not making assumptions or being too quick to judge. My heart went out to Minnie, who was pleading with HS not to punish her Babes because of her mistake, to which he shook his head.
It had nothing to do with that, he reassured her. He could not see her on her knees pleading in this way. Breaking his silence, he held her hand and asked her to stand up. Idhar aa, baith, mere paas baith.
Then he turned his chair round closer to her to have a serious conversation (great visual touch there!). I love how he assesses various situations and has the wisdom to handle them accordingly. He did not initially want to discuss this with Minnie, but on seeing that she was on the way to holding onto further misconceptions about how the world of love and grownups worked, he decided to teach her a few things.
He made it clear to Minnie that he was not holding back because of her. She was too young to understand but he would try to explain to her as best as he could how fragile the relationship between a man and a woman was. It needed to be handled with care for risk of upsetting the balance, especially in the case of Babita and him, where things were already complicated.
I really loved that change in dynamics between them and HS; demeanor at the end. Something has definitely changed. Of course, I'm curious to see how this conversation goes but also how Minnie will process this new information. I don't know if he will talk about his issues yet or if he will actually explain that Babita was not there yet and that she still had a way to go before she reached his level in terms of their dynamics.
Babita had given him more than enough cues early morning but it was not shyness that was holding him back. Sure, he had been pleased to see the progress and what a way to start the day! But there was much more he had to process internally. I also think he is concerned about rushing her as though he had been in the wings waiting to pounce on her. Also, all the intermittent talks about all his ehsaan on mother-daughter has to be done away with. They haven't settled that score yet and until they don't it will keep getting in the way.
I had written a while ago that Babita was not quite at the same stage as HS because he had seen her and understood her over the months. He knew her strengths and weaknesses, knew her inside out, had seen her in the best and worst of situations. She, on the other hand, had never really learned much about what he was like on the inside. Basically, she only saw what he showed them - generous, kind, selfless - the dark secrets were still buried deep within. He was never comfortable when the focus was shifted to him, be it when Minnie and he had that conversation about privacy and when she called him family, or when Babita did things for him. He has built some invisible walls around him in order to protect himself as well as others from his deep-seated fears and grief.
This is part of Babita's journey to stop deifying him and to realize that he his a human being with imperfections. Either he is conscious because of her rejection last time, or it is because of grieving for Imarti that something still prevents him from going all out, besides the fact that he is a gentleman, of course. Babita will have to help him tear those walls, and I suspect Minnie will be the catalyst there. The love shared by all three will also deepen after going through struggles together.
This is one thing that Babita missed out on in her first marriage: going through life's hurdles and facing them together with your partner. It's important for any relationship, which is not just about the happy/pleasant moments. She will get the chance to go through different kinds of struggles this time with HS and in that way she will come closer to him than ever before. One more thing: somewhere in her mind she feels she's not good enough for him because she comes with so many scars, and she also feels indebted to him for all his support. By helping him with his struggles, she will be able to bridge that gap and also realize that he has demons of his own to battle.
With any other guy, I would have pointed the finger at his male ego. This time I'm not sure. I could be wrong, but the way he talked to Minnie, it seemed there was a very serious and mature thought process behind his reticence. It could be about the boundaries and about the lack of openness between them, that she is not at his level in the journey yet. As we were discussing the other day, Babita doesn't know him or understand him the way he understands her, and she needs time to see all facets of his personality before deciding if she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. There was still a lot to learn about each other and to assess whether they were indeed made for each other.
Despite his denial, I do think it has something to do with Minnie, maybe on some subconscious level. Even though he tells her not to worry about it, the whole incident the other day made him reflect upon their relationship. He is now thinking as her father too, something he did not do early on, and this may be adding some other concerns that he wants to sort out, such as, would Babita accept him as her daughter's father? Does she love him both as Minnie's father (figure) and as her potential husband? Perhaps he hasn't articulated this, but considering the way this character has been sketched, I would be very surprised if all these factors were not playing on his mind at this point in time.
What I love about Minnie is that she wants to know what is bothering him, this time not just for her Babes' sake but also for HS sake, for her Hanuman Uncle. This is important for her to see him 360 degrees as a man, as her role model who is still human and to learn how he has dealt with things all his life. Once she sees this dimension of his, I'm guessing nothing will stop her from embracing him fully as a father, independent of his relation to Babita or their loves story.
I actually think that HS' journey towards escaping his demons would be incomplete without Minnie. She is likely to be even more important than Babita as she will serve as the catalyst for him to help himself as well. He has just all this pent up pain that has no outlet and he has not actively tried to flush it out. She will drive him to do so. In this case, she would not have to be his parent but more of an anchor, to show him that she belongs with him as his child.
HS looked so forlorn as he was telling Minnie that Babita was not alone since she had Minnie to support her always. Now it's time for Minnie to step up and show him that he could and should expect the same from her as his child too. I think whatever he tells Minnie will allow her to view the entire situation in a different way, and her innocence, perseverance, and abundant love for him will go a long way towards healing him, in ways that even Babita cannot achieve.
One more thing: people in HS' state often respond well to being needed by others, being able to take responsibility and helping others, not only because it takes attention away from their grief but also because putting smiles on others' faces eases some of their pain. As soon as Minnie came into his life, his mundane existence was suddenly challenged. He had to suddenly become extra alert, often be on his toes, because her needs and her pain were immediate and tangible.
The best part about her meeting HS was that she understood the real meaning of family, of relationships. She has no blood ties to HS and NB but the love and affection she receives from them is unconditional and unwavering, something she had never seen growing up in that house full of selfish people. It was as if a whole new world had opened up to here where things were simple and pure, where she did not have to be on guard all the time. Even if Babita and HS never fell in love and married, I feel HS would always retain that spot in her heart as her father. Just his guidance and the way he has become a role model to her is important to help her build a strong foundation in her growing years.
Another important thing is that HS and NB, through their bond with each other, have also shown Minnie that relationships do not have to be demanding or taxing, they are above being tested by time and circumstances because they are just there, the status quo never changes when you share true love. I think the more she discovers about HS' past she will understand this better. I am not sure if they will cover the domestic abuse than NB went through, but if they do, then Minnie will continue to learn that despite trauma and hardships people can resurface without having to be aggressive or battle-weary. Minnie's love for HS also enables her to accept and love Nb, as she is his mother.
HS did whatever he could to protect her, and in the process felt useful, needed by her as a child needs a parent. Along the way, he saw the parallels between his childhood and hers. He saw the opportunity to step up and be the parent that he had always lacked, and when he had succeeded in doing so, it felt as if life had come somewhat full circle. It's no surprise that he now loves her more than anyone else in the world: she is helping him complete the journey that he had started many years ago on his path to redemption.
Precap:
Enough has been said about HS grabbing her hand so I won't elaborate. I think the fire HS mentioned was in reference to his passion, not just for Babita but for everything around him, including his anger, guilt, frustration, and penance regarding his past. His loneliness had only fueled that fire over the years and if Babita got too close before she was ready for it, she would be scorched. That aggression is dangerous and whatever the reason might be, I wonder if it is his repressed feelings from childhood and the lasting impact of watching his father be abusive to his mother. The scene where he was describing his experiences as a child witnessing domestic abuse were not shown for nothing. I hope he is not about to turn into his father's son, Sharaabi Jr.
He has been in love before and understands passion and intimacy but also the meaning of companionship. Babita is new to all this and he probably doesn't want to rush. She thinks that falling in love is the endgame but there is far more to it. I think that's what he's warning her about, to not go down this path of passion just yet because she's too naive to handle it this early in their journey, when they don't even have a "relationship" yet. It's almost as though the mentor in him knows his student is not ready to go to the next level yet, so he's waiting. Most importantly, after losing Imarti he wants to make sure he does nothing to hurt her or himself again.
Naeem Bi had also told Beeji that HS had been crazy about Imarti. I don't think it was just a sweet innocent kind of romance. They were both strong-headed and passionate people, and I don't think that aspect of HS has changed at all. I think he is afraid to unleash that on Babita because he still sees her as a gentle soul who would never be able to handle his craziness the way Imarti used to be able to.
If the next track is indeed about the evils of addiction, then I hope they address her net addiction too, as these things can only be resolved once the main problem is addressed, rather than the symptom of drinking or spending excessive time online. The addiction itself is not the main point. The point is that he is trying to fill a gap in his life by substituting it with alcohol, just like Minnie said her mother was addicted to social media as a means of filling the loneliness in her life. Once that gap is filled by the right thing, the alcohol or net addiction will subside on its own.
By the way, I felt that HS' Haryanvi lilt was stronger than usual throughout the episode. I wonder if it was deliberate in terms of the connection to his childhood and his identity. I am actually extremely excited for the upcoming episodes. It's going to be another roller-coaster of emotions, and I expect some spectacular performances.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
