Originally posted by: poshah
Rockstar's (a shayar's diary -12th March-Ajeeb Kashmakash hai, choo le mujhko meri parchayee, sun sako to sun lo, ki mai bolta nahi)
I am thinking, reel life Kunal is taking away my job...how can I write a diary if he also writes one 😉.
Still here are my two cents, but my POV...
Tu paas hai mere
phir bhi saath nahin hai mere
mein saath hoon mere
phir bhi paas nahin hoon tere
majboor tamanna
bebas aankhen
ajeeb kashmakash hai
sard ehsaason mein thitharti tanhai
choo le mujhko aye meri parchayee
sun sako to sunlo ke main bolta nahin hoon
ki khamosh labz meri ankhon mein ghoomte nahee
Finally I think we see Kunal progressing from his confusion/surprise thinking, did I really say i ...you Siddhi..how and when did it happen, to the shayar Kunal.. and not a depressing shayar but a shayar writing shayari in kabhi kabhi style. So this marks his progress from someone doubting it to someone writing shayari just like Siddhi was writing on valentine's day.
I think over the period of last one month he has become confident of his feelings, initially his outburst came unconscioulsy in the drunken state, then he was confused did I really say that.
Then he was still not accepting it, he just kept wallowing in guilt of being with his brother's fiance, his pain during the valentine's day when he said anand why did you leave him, she still searches for you in me, helping her during the court case. But today I think his poetry conveyed that he is in a kashmakash, should I tell you or should I not tell you?
What does it take for someone to confess or tell the other person what one really thinks/feels ? Courage or Helplessness?
Courage to express yourself, irrespective of the outcome, irrespective of what the other person will think about you, how the other person will react?
Or helplessness, because you have no choice but to express yourself, because you can't keep waiting for the other person and it is a now or never situation for you?
Is it the ego which stops the person?
Is kunal really feeling guilty or is he afraid of rejection? If everything is fair in love and war, then what will it take for Kunal to confess? If he already likes her and wants her to read his silence, then is he still feeling guilty?
I just remembered few lines that Kunal had himself told Gaurav when Raveena had fled from her house. He said, that ' jab hum kisise rishta jodta hai, to kisi aur se puchne se pehle, hume apne dil se puchna chahiye'. I wonder if Kunal applies that same statement to himself as well.
He still thinks that she still likes anand, if only instead of asking others or looking for her affirmation, he would have asked himself, then he would have probably got the answers.
For both of them I can say, that when the sun rises, it doesn't have to announce itself, it is there for all to see, it is not the fault of sun if you turn your back towards it and assume that it is still night. And neither does it become night just because you turn your back towards it.
PS- There is one strikingly good thing about Kunal. He has been shown to have respect for the women, I saw it once in a past episode as well..he didn't lift his eyes/face to see her in the eye and today also, that was one good thing in i am sorry, the comic show today, he was equally embarassed today.
And now that I have a PS, want to add one more thing, in the court when Richa was being questioned about her past, if it were Siddhi in Richa's place and someone was asking her such personal questions, Kunal would have objected for sure !!!
I know I couldn't write the proverbial Kunal diary, but his poem left no room for me interpret 😭
Thank you again for reading!!!