Hey guys, writing my first fan fiction in a really long time! Hope ya'll enjoy it and do share your feedback!
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In the stillness of the night, Dhara was trying to comprehend her life! The happiness she had longed for her whole life seemed to fade away so cruelly. But as her mind replayed what the doctor had informed her, there was a strange calmness in her heart. She felt Gautam standing right behind her. One look into his eyes and she knew what he was thinking. Before he could so much as breath, she said, “nahi Gaumbi. Mein abortion nahi karaaungi.” The stern resolve in her voice fueled his anger! He wanted to scream & yell at the unfairness he had to endure but instead he said, “Tujhe samajh nahi aaya doctor ne kya kaha? Ek toh pehle se pregnancy mein complications the aur phir bhi tune stress liya itana saara ke baat teri jaan pe aa gai hai! Dhara iss bacche ko janam diya tune toh mujhe tujhe khona hoga. Tu kya chahti hai? Ki yeh baccha bina ma ke bada ho? Aur mein? Mere baare mein socha tune ke mein kaise jeeunga tere bina?Dev, Shiva, aur Krish kaise jeeyenge tere bina?” But she cut him off and said,“Mar toh mein apne bacche ko maar kar bhi jaaungi Gaumbi! Khona toh tumhe mujhe tab bhi padega. Yeh baccha sirf mere shareer ka nahi, meri jaan ka hissa hai!Agar tum chaahte ho ke mein iss bacche ko janam na du, toh tum mujhe maar do!” As she said this, Gautam felt the numbness of her heart and a new fear gripped his heart with iron shackles; almost suffocating him. He gathered her in his arms as tears started rolling down from his eyes. He couldn’t argue with her; not right now; for he simply didn’t have the strength. For now, he decided, to end the conversation and just be her strength with a promise of revisiting the matter tomorrow as he couldn’t lose his Dhara. The wind blew as if carrying their pain with it beyond the walls of the room and reached a shadow that fell apart hearing the devastating news.
As the reality of losing Dhara grasped him, Shiva’s world came crashing down. He went numb & his feet started walking away from the room and the house; soon he found himself out in the empty streets in the dark of the night. He couldn’t believe what he heard; he didn’t know what to do! As the memories of Dhara revolved around him, he continued walking mindlessly without realizing his direction. He reached under a balcony of a room that was as still as the night. The curtains flew back and forth with the wind as if allowing him the opportunity to see the one face that had made its home in his heart. And so, he didn’t know why but he took his phone out and called…
As the wind blew gently in her room, Raavi felt restless. Even though she spent most of her nights with Shiva’s memories coming in and out her heart these days, tonight felt different. Tonight, Shiva’s thoughts surrounded her heart with worry & fear. She tried reasoning with herself about not thinking of him too much but as always, she failed! She hadn’t seen him or fought with him all day today but still she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was not okay. With these thoughts making her more and more restless, she tossed and turned in her bed and closed her eyes to try & sleep. Suddenly, her phone rang breaking the silence. She looked at the caller ID and her heart sank. She knew her worries were about to come to life as she picked up the call.
Before she could say anything, she heard her name…
“Raavi!” he said!
She sat up as if she was struck by lightning! Her heart pounded so fast that she felt like it would explode. The voice that often roared loudly, that was always full of confidence, that never shook, was so strained, so full of agony, and so gentle tonight that it brought her to tears! As the dread spread through her heart like wildfire, she said, “Shiva? Shiva kya hua?Tu kaha hai? Chup kyun hai? Shiva please bata kya hua hai? Tu theek toh haina?”
Hearing her worried voice made Shiva speechless. Her kindness, her gentleness, her care that she so freely showered on him on more than one occasions, came alive and with that came the realization of what had happened between them in the last few days. As their fight, the insults, and their divorce took center stage, he realized that Raavi pleading to him to make sure if he was okay was so unfair to her. He had pushed her away so ruthlessly, he told himself, that he had no right to call her; he had no right on her. He wanted to hang up, but he couldn’t put the phone down as her voice was unexpectedly soothing his pain. Her worries for him felt like a warm hug that he didn’t want to let go of.
“Shiva! Tu sun raha hai? Kuch puch rahi hu mein tujhse?Shiva please? Please mujhe bata na kya hua hai? Kaha hai tu?” Shiva’s silence was killing Raavi! She wanted to run to him and protect him and care for him. She wanted to hug him and tell him that everything will be okay.
“Shiva please! Tu kaha hai?” she pleaded again!
This time, as if the universe was answering on Shiva’s behalf, a dog barked behind him outside of her house. He turned around and then looked back up at the balcony. He knew then! He knew that she heard the bark, and she was going to be out any second. He didn’t have the courage to face her after everything that had happened. Gathering all his strength, he hung up the call and started walking away.
And Shiva was right; Raavi had heard the dog bark and rushed out of the house to see Shiva. But by the time she reached outside, he was gone. There was no one there. She looked hard in the darkness and just as she was about to give up, her heart fluttered seeing a shadow walking alone in the darkness! She didn’t need to see the face to recognize who he was as she took off after him!
Shiva kept walking in the dark towards the Somnath mandir. He wanted to fight with Him for all the pain his family had to endure. His whole life had been one fight after another; one struggle after another; But through this harsh journey of his life, there was only one hand that made him feel calm and steady; just one hand that gave him strength & happiness. That hand was of his Dhara Bhabhi! He suffocated thinking about a life without Dhara. As he reached the temple, however, instead of fighting with the God, he simply fell in front of Him. He didn’t have the strength! The storm that had ravaged his life in the form of fear of losing Dhara and the storm that he himself had caused by pushing Raavi away, finally crippled him! As the exhaustion and pain took over him, he couldn’t do anything but cry.
Raavi tried catching up to Shiva. She ran as fast as she could but couldn’t keep up. She called after him, but her voice strained. At last, she saw him reach the temple and rushed to his side. When she went inside, she saw him sitting down hugging his knees to his chest. His face was buried under his arms. She walked to him, put her hand on his shoulder, and gently said, “Shiva?”. When Shiva looked up at her, Raavi fell on her knees as if the earth had shaken under her feet! Shiva was crying; his red eyes were full of pain and tears! The helplessness and exhaustion etched on his face shattered Raavi’s heart! The tears rolling from his eyes burnt her alive as she held his face and hugged him.
Shiva couldn’t hold back now. He hugged Raavi back and cried his heart out. Raavi didn’t know what to do! All she knew was that she had never seen Shiva broken to pieces like this. The Shiva she knew was a fighter; he never gave up! He was the most unpredictable person in her life; he was a menace to her most of the time, but he was playful and mischievous, too. He had anger issues, but he was also very kind and caring. She had seen many faces of Shiva over the years, but she had never, in her wildest imagination, thought of seeing him so broken. She hated this! Every wail, every single tear, every single shiver that came out of him pierced her heart and made her bleed. She tightened her arms around him, stroking his back gently with one hand and caressing his hair with another.
Shiva felt Raavi’s embrace! She was crying, too! When he had looked up and seen Raavi, something inside him broke the wall he had built around his heart in a failed attempt to keep Raavi out. When she had opened her arms and hugged him, he had felt her heart beating for him. She was hurting as much as he was, and she didn’t even know the reason. He didn’t know if he deserved the care and support of this beautiful human being. All he knew was that she was there, and he didn’t want to let her go. And so, he had buried himself in her & cried his heart out.
Moments passed! The storm inside Shiva’s heart had calmed down but he didn’t want Raavi to let go. Her heartbeat felt like the rhythm of his life as he continued to hold on to her. Raavi sat still, too! With her eyes closed, she could feel his heartbeat match hers. Tangled in the embrace, they both felt like they were home! Just then the wind blew hard and flower petals offered to Bholenaath flew on them. Raavi and Shiva opened their eyes and just like that their dream broke! They looked at each other in the eyes and for a moment the world stood still. With some hesitation Raavi managed to look away and tried to move back but she was immediately pulled back towards him! Her dupatta was caught in the chain around Shiva’s neck. She looked at him again and clumsily untangled her dupatta from his chain.
Shiva didn’t want to untangle from her. He wanted her to stay right there as she was just a few moments ago. Seeing her move back, his heart ached a little, but he prepared to see her leave. However, to his surprise, she sat down in front of him. As much relieved as he was knowing that she was going to stay with him a little while longer, he braced himself for her endless questions. After all wasn’t that his Chipkali’s specialty? Raavi was relentless; once she got a thought, it was impossible to get it out of her head until she had acted on it. She talked all the time and always had a lot of questions. And tonight, she saw a side of him that he NEVER showed anyone; so naturally, she wasn’t going to leave it alone until she had discussed and debated the matters to death! But tonight, she had heard his silence and had been there for him! He remembered what Dhara had told him; “Pasand karne lagi thi Raavi tujhe!”. And for the first time in his life, he allowed himself to believe it! Without a second thought, he gave Raavi all the rights on him, on his heart, and on his life.
Raavi moved back but couldn’t leave without knowing what had happened! She couldn’t let go of the image of a crying Shiva and she knew full well that if she didn’t find out what happened to her Bhootnaath, she would not be able to eat, drink, or sleep! She looked at Shiva’s eyes that had calmed down but were still sad. She saw the face of a man who had always harassed her, fought with her, and divorced her after a very public humiliation but in this moment, she didn’t see that Bhootnaath of hers! She only saw Shiva who had called her, who had buried himself in her arms as if she was his home. At first, she had thought that he was only holding on to her because he needed someone. But when he made himself at home in her arms, she had realized that he needed her and her only. This was the Shiva from that Khandar who had promised her that he would never leave her and as she gazed into his eyes, she promised him the same in her heart! And she sat down in front of him determined to find out what had happened to her Gadheda!
“Kya?” She asked startling Shiva a bit!
“Kya?” He replied in return!
“Kya kya? Ab kuch bolega bhi? Mujhe ghoorna bandh kar aur bata mujhe tujhe kya hua!” She asked irritated.
“Woh…” he stammered! He didn’t know how to tell her about Dhara as she still didn’t know that Dhara was pregnant.
“Woh kya? Shiva please yeh suspense khatam kar aur mujhe bata kya hua hai? Tu aise .. tujhe aise dekh ke..” and she couldn’t complete!
Shiva looked at her. The tears had dried; tears she shed for him. He could still see the worry clouding her face. He raised his hand and gently wiped her tears and caressed her face. Raavi shivered with his touch. She looked into his eyes that were looking back at her and the way he looked at her made her shy! She looked down but didn’t dare remove his hand. He liked seeing her blushing like that but decided that this wasn’t the time to get his emotions tangled up. He pulled his hand back. Raavi wanted to protest but didn’t because she too thought this wasn’t the right time. She straightened a bit and asked, “Shiva! Kya hua? Tu theek toh hain na?” Shiva nodded no, took a deep breath, and told Raavi everything about Dhara’s situation.
“Kya? Dhara di pregnant hai? Mujhe bataaya kyun nahi? Kab pata chala?” She looked elated with the news. But as she looked right into his eyes, he made a face that told her that Dhara’s special day was the day they had celebrated their divorce and embarrassed themselves so monumentally. Her giant smile faded, and anger came on her face as she hit him hard on his arm.
“Gadheda! Tune bataaya kyun nahi? Itani badi good news mere saath share karne ki bajaay tune dhol bajaake mujhe uksaana shuru kar diya? Dhara di aur Gaumbi ko kitna kharaab laga hoga?” She scolded him so loudly that he thought she would wake up Shivji himself.
As she said this, however, the rest of Shiva’s words sank in! And her anger gave way to worry & tears. Shiva looked at her amused as to how one person could go from happy to angry to worried to sad in less than a minute! But that was his Gadhedi! Raavi had always been all over the place when it came to matters of the heart.
“Aise kaise doctors bol sakte hai ke abortion kara lo? Agar woh Dhara di ke complications theek nahi kar sakte toh khud ko doctor bulaate kyun hai? Faad ke faik deni chahiye unhe apni degrees!” She said in fit of anger.
As calm as he was after having Raavi by his side, he was still shaken and Raavi saw it! She took his hands in hers and said, “Tu chinta matt kar. Hum Ahmedabad, Baroda, Surat aise bade sheher mein bade doctors ko dikhaaenge! Kuch nahi hoga Dhara di ko.” She looked at the Shivling and said,“Yeh aise kaise hamaari Dhara di ko humse dur kar sakte hai? Hum hone nahi denge aisa!” Shiva looked at the stern resolve on her face and dropped his head on her hands. She looked back at him and forced him to look up. She wiped his tears and said, “Chal, ghar chal! Yaha baith ke koi solution nahi milega.” She got to her feet and pulled him up as well. They prayed to the God for health and happiness of Dhara and Gautam. And in their hearts, they also added a prayer for their own relationship that seemed to have gotten a tiny ray of hope in the last few minutes.
They walked back in silence. As they reached Raavi’s house, Shiva stopped and let her walk ahead a bit and she noticed. He wanted to take her home and she wanted to go with him but they both realized that their list of problems was a bit longer than a few moments of togetherness could solve. So, with a small smile, they made a silent promise to resolve their issues and try to save their marriage. As Shiva reluctantly turned to go back, Raavi held his hand. He turned towards her, and she said, “Tu fikar matt karna. Mein hu tere saath.” He gave a nod with his eyes and smiled. She smiled back and went inside the house.
At home, Shiva felt so relieved thinking about tonight! The way Raavi took care of him, made him smile! He wanted to see her again, so he got up and went to the balcony that directly overlooked Raavi’s room! Her room was dark and Raavi was nowhere to be seen! He shook his head and started going back when Raavi stepped out in the balcony for Raavi too wanted to see Shiva one last time for the night! As they looked at each other, they felt content & hopeful about their own future!
Next: Hearstrings - Part II