What if Series~Brother in Love - Page 2

Piu, thanks for tagging me. This is a much needed post about Dev.

I have posted few times in the EDT about how the CVs are taking Dev's character forward in the show. I am still having trouble understanding him fully. I want to like him because he truly cares for Rishita's happiness and then the writers make him say some irrelevant and unpleasant dialogues, I go back to disliking him.

That said, we all know Dev is a good guy, polite, friendly, want to be in the good books of everybody. He is neither mature nor passionate like Shiva. Yes he did fall in love with Rishita only because she is different than him, things he is not bold, speaks her mind, doesn't hesitate to get things done.

With Raavi, he only tried to protect her from Shiva most of the times and be friendly because that is his nature. He did not lead Raavi for the most part but where he faltered is that he took is own sweet time to let the family know that he was in love with another girl and not Raavi. He still went ahead with the marriage with Raavi only because his Bhabi was humiliated and he didn't want to be the troublemaker like he always was.

After Shiva got married to Raavi, he took his time to apologize to both individually but failed to see for a long time the consequences of his action, until today.

IMO, Dev-Rishita's relationship is not fully developed yet. They still have a long way to go. Just by buying Rishita presents every time they fight is not going to solve their differences. He has to work on his relationship with Rishita before he gives any advice to Shiva.

Dev is also a witness to Shiva and Raavi's relationship prior to marriage. He can only help Shiva see what all transpired between ShiVi though they hated each other and that's about it.

As for how to move forward with Raavi in the present is something Dev should never open his mouth about.

My first post in the current EDT was about the cliff hanger that CVs gave us. I wished we had a scene of Dev- Shiva's conversation in yesterday's episode instead of waiting for a whole day. My curiosity is at it's peak with this conversation and I am so looking forward to it.

What a beautiful post, Piu!

If I were in Dev's shoes, I think my response would be similar to yours. It would be to avoid. And it would have been since the first time Raavi, declared her love/feelings to him or his family member had it been unrequited love from her side. True story, a neighbor of mine was interested in me back in highschool. Relationship wasn't something I was seeking at the time, and I told him no and then avoided him like a plague. Heck I wouldn't even step out of the house or would hide behind cars to get in my car, so I wouldn't accidentally see him or he wouldn't see me. Assuming Raavi first verbalized her feelings likely in her teen years, I would have done the same. But had I learned that she continued to harbour feelings for me as an adult, I would have clarified it with her once and for all. Likely via text. Also, I would have informed my siblings of Rishita whenever things would have progressed from friendship. Even today, both of my siblings are aware of any guys that I am speaking with. It's a different story, my brother tunes out of our convos, but they know. Hence, I don't think it'd ever get to the stage that it has in PS.

In some weird hypothetical situation if I were to end up marrying into a family which my ex is also part of (unbeknownst to my knowledge), then I'd probably again avoid. Avoid any one-on-one convo with exception to one convo where we agree to keep past in the past, and strictly be coordial at the family gatherings. And yes, in this case, I probably wouldn't stay under the same roof either. It would be awkward, and just wouldn't be healthy for any of our respective current relationships.

And yes, he is nice and all, but Dev shouldn't be the one to give relationship advice to ShiVi. Let them sail their ship the way desire. The only thing he can speak to Shiva about is his insecurities from a human perspective and how he (Dev) is not better than Shiva. He shouldn't address the part around whether Shiva's fit enough for Raavi and what Raavi will do or understand.

Aaj to Dev ne Kamaal kar diya 😆

Thank you for such amazing comments🤗

I will get back to everyone.

Momzii this is an amazing post❤️

I have always wanted to read something like this about Dev. We mostly troll him in our EDT discussions. But Dev as a character is kind, does not have any malice for anyone. He sees things on face value and sometimes fails to understand the seriousness and depth of the issue. His lack of communicating when needed was one of the reasons of chaos in the Pandya house. Dev is the one who by nature is too sweet and wants to go with the flow. He does not want drama and chaos in his life and is always looking for easy ways to do damage control. He is a good guy but sometimes too much goodness has its own bitterness and it affects him and also his family.

Dev Raavi Shiva - 2 brothers and one girl relationship is quite different here. From childhood these people have grown up together. I guess one of the reasons for Raavi to be in Dev's team since childhood was because he was one of the few people who was kind and appreciative of her since childhood. Mami and Anita though they love Raavi were busy in their planning plotting, Shiva has always been harsh towards her since childhood. So I guess she looked at Dev as a person who can be with her always and that's one of the reasons for her to make him her Prince Charming. Dev on the other hand never saw Raavi more than a friend and even after growing up he felt hanging out with Raavi was like hanging out with friends. Dev as a person also felt strong emotions....his outburst during the haldi and Dev beating Jaanu black and blue....These were the two strong and impactful scenes for Dev. But the impact of the scenes was short lived as Dev as a character tends to look for easy ways to solve the situation. He decided to marry Raavi but he could not continue that when he saw Rishitha in the mandap...Am not telling he must have married Raavi but he should have thought well before and taken a strong decision to marry Rishitha no matter what happens. His last minute indecisiveness caused chaos in three lives.

Coming to this post, I completely agree that Dev should stay away from both Shiva and Raavi for sometime. Like you said these situations are not bearable in real life. Seeing your wife's ex who is your brother too in the same house....living with him as if nothing happened...these are some harsh pains in life. I guess if Shiva's anger towards Dev had been more strong we could have got more repentance from Dev's side too. Dev was living in a silent guilt after the wedding but he never had the guts to go apologise to Shiva or Raavi immediately. The late apology and the forgiving nature of Shiva also are one of the reasons we can never see a Dev-Shiva conflict happening. Dev realizes things way too late and his apology is also on face value terms. But that does not mean he is not guilty...his guilt and grief is not expressed properly at the right time.

Since I am replying after watching today's episode I am glad Dev did not give any gyaan to Shiva. Infact I liked how he told that Shiva needs to visit his childhood to understand his relationship with Raavi. We have always mentioned that Shiva is the silent third wheel in Dev-Raavi relationship. But today he pointed out rightly that he was the side character in their story. But am so glad Shiva did not give much heed to his words because I want Shiva to realize this fact himself. All said I really liked their interaction today and it was more of a friendly conversation and not some deep stuff which we were all dreading.

Dev as a character has still not grown on me because of the inconsistent writing. If he does one right thing, he tends to do 2 wrong things unintentionally and this makes it difficult for me to understand Dev.

This became a long post...apologies for the same...I ended up writing so much.

But you have made an amazing post Momzii. ❤️

So everyone has already put forth such great points🤗 but I'll put my two cents in too. I want to give a disclaimer that I am not as remotely empathetic to him as all of you are, but I'll try to tone it down. 😆

I do want to find a reason to feel for him so I really have been trying hard to change my way of looking at him.

I know you asked what would I do if I were Dev and I have an entire list for it but I would start with looking at what is wrong with me, where do I make mistakes. Even if I forget how long it took for him to apologize, look at what he finally said. It was just so.. Meh. It's like he is saying I am sorry you were hurt because of me, whereas what he should be saying is I am sorry I didn't have the courage to be truthful. The difference in the two is in the second one, it's finally him giving her the honesty she should have been accorded before, by accepting he was a coward and thereby showing he knows he has to grow from it. Like when he says, mujhse dosti karogi, what he should actually be saying is let me work my way back up to being your friend.

Which brings me to my biggest problem with him. I can see why people look at him as a kind but lacks sensitivity kinda person but the way I see him is one of those eternal frat boys. Like for a second take him out of this desi context and put him in any American college life show. That's exactly who he would play. The forever frat boy. And it's why I always have the most trouble in empathizing with him. Because in his worst moments he reminds me of most of the men I encounter in daily life who have the privilege to not take a stand for most issues. They are always Switzerland. And that's just not okay. At least to me.

What makes it more troubling for me is when I think of his marriage dynamics. I am a strong believer in you attract what you are. It's why the Shivi dynamics makes sense to me coz for all the street smarts Shiva has, both of them operate from a place of all heart. But no comparison, because Dev Rishita haven't been explored as much in that way. But then that just makes Dev Rishita one of those couples who gets married phast phast and then regret it all their lives. I guess what I am trying to say is for a character that already lacks emotional depth, it makes it all the more worse for him to marry a girl who was never meant to fit in his family. Either he wants to leave his family just as bad but doesn't have the guts to do so and hence just gets little joys in seeing his wife do what he doesn't have the guts to do. Or he totally didn't know how his wife actually was before marriage. Either way, it just compounds into my dislike.

I realize your original question was what would we do in his shoes but I got very carried away. I don't hate Dev because why would I. All I feel is uh huh next. But I do want his character to have growth because there's so much to work with, as with all of PS characters.

And that's why I actually liked how in today's episode they showed Dev saying I was always a sidey in your and Raavi's story. You both liked each other since childhood. It was the first time he said something that made me believe he is the elder brother. Because that adds a good facet to his personality. That he actually has the ability to observe and understand the subtler nuances of life.

Finally am able to comment here: this is a really thought provoking post! To answer your question about what I would have done if I was in Dev's place: there is only one answer for me straightaway which is the same your response: avoid. If a person has feelings for me and I know they have feelings for me, I would not go around stringing them along, eating ice cream with them or accepting gifts from them. That would be leading them on, and according to me that is wrong. I would ignore them and avoid them like the plague. No matter if in your heart you think of yourself as a "side character" between two people, and that is the reason why you were never able to connect with the girl that had feelings for you. What he did is still wrong. He led her on, gave her hopes and emotionally cheated on her. This is my biggest peeve with Dev and I guess it will remain forever 😆

My another equally big peeve with Dev is just how weak he is in taking decisions, and how he is even weaker in sticking to them, as we have seen many times. He is the guy who wants an easy, non-confrontational way to solve a problem, fine. But if you have found that way, at least have the guts to stick to it, instead of just piggybacking on someone else's efforts (Rishita) and broken dreams (Shiva and Raavi) 🤪. His way of apology too remains "meh" for me.. it only worked because Shiva loves him too much to hold anything against him, and Raavi is too forgiving to bear grudges on anyone.

Having seen the OG, I would love if Dev made sincere efforts in his own ways (however small or big they may be) to give any form of mental peace and happiness to Shiva and Raavi individually! I don't want him to come into their relationship or try to "improve" it in any way, but just do whatever he can for both them separately. Those actions of his would speak of true regret and redemption, and I wouldn't even mind if he never ever apologized to them at all! But simply apologizing in words and declaring himself as a "side character" simply did not cut it for me 😕

Oops.. this turned out longer than I expected, but I hope I made sense! 😆

So much for your fabulous responses, discourses and discussions regarding Dev. I think this thread is filled with such valuable comments and expressions that my replies probably won’t do justice at all. All I can say is that I genuinely agree with all your fabulous posts that are so well articulated.

Thank you for participating 🤗

So much for your fabulous responses, discourses and discussions regarding Dev. I think this thread is filled with such valuable comments and expressions that my replies probably won’t do justice at all. All I can say is that I genuinely agree with all your fabulous posts that are so well articulated.

Thank you for participating

So much for your fabulous responses, discourses and discussions regarding Dev. I think this thread is filled with such valuable comments and expressions that my replies probably won’t do justice at all. All I can say is that I genuinely agree with all your fabulous posts that are so well articulated.

Thank you for participating

Originally posted by: Transference

So much for your fabulous responses, discourses and discussions regarding Dev. I think this thread is filled with such valuable comments and expressions that my replies probably won’t do justice at all. All I can say is that I genuinely agree with all your fabulous posts that are so well articulated.

Thank you for participating

Haven't been too active on the forum but extremely love the way you put forth a point . It touches our 💓