KR FF: My dear sir part 26 updated in page 104 - Page 59

My dear sir

part 22

Angel was displeased lately, as her plan doesn't seem working out the way she expected .she can't get a single welcoming gesture from Karthik in spite of her putting her full efforts..

As she couldn't shake his inner self even for a bit..she had decided to give him pressure externally..she wanted to rush things up before Karthik gets back his memory .once he got his memory back then everything will be ruined..so she decided to act fast by plotting yet another evil plan..

Publicize their relationship in office was her secret weapon ..she already made an illusion in the minds of their coworkers that she and Karthik were in serious relationship..now she took one step forward and organize a party to announce their engagement formally to their colleagues ,she wanted to lock him up with all the ties where he couldn't think of an escape..

She invited each and everyone personally to the party ,not even consulting or giving a word to Karthik..

She went to the section where Raji works and found her seat empty..she was little disappointed..but she doesn't want to go back without completing her mission..

She invited Vishnu and Lakshmi for the party..

The aversion and the distaste in their faces clearly showed that they resented the party...

But who cares...

"Lakshmi ..where is Raji?i thought of inviting her personally.."

She said with a sweet voice..yet with cunning smile..

"She has gone out for some work..she will be coming late ..I will convey the news to her..so don't strain urself to come here again.." lakshmi said in annoyance unveiled tone..

Angel stomped off grudgingly..

Lakshmi looked at Vishnu with worried face..

"yenna Vishnu..engagement ,party adhu idhu solraa?ivlo serious aa irukkumnu naan nenaichi paarkave illai..Karthik ku indha vishayam theriyumaa?"

"theriyalai lakshmi..I too never thought this Angel would go to this extend.."Vishnu also conveyed his worry..

"Raji ya nenaichaa dhaan kavalaiyaa rukku..if she comes to know then she will become heartbroken.." Lakshmi expressed her concern..

"Yes..Raji romba paavam..ava ippo anubavichikittu irukka vedhanaiye podhum idhai solli avalai innum kashta pada vaickka vendaam.."vishnu said thoughtfully..

Lakshmi nodded in acceptance " indha Karthik yen ippadi panraaru..?Raji avaru mela uyiraiya vachirukaa..aanaa Karthik ippadi heartless aa irukka koodaadhu..I first thought he was a good person but he proved me wrong..I really hate him know.." she showed her aversion..

"Appadi solladha lakshmi he has so many issues .. besides he has his own reasons for his weird act which he can not reveal openly.."

"What reasons Vishnu..?"Raji's sharp voice startled them both..Raji looked at him with a piercing gaze with a cold look on her face..

"Raji...?"Both Vishnu and Lakshmi uttered in shock...

"What reasons he has for being a coldblooded man ,shunning me like a piece of shit..?what reasons he has for hurting my feelings to the extent that I loathe my very own existence..?what reasons he has for breaking my heart into pieces and made me like a living zombie ?what bloody reason he has for getting engaged to that Angel..?tell me Vishnu I want to know...that so called genuine reason ..."

Vishnu was stunned by the outburst of Raji..at the same time Karthik also arrived there at the exact time and happened see Raji flared up in anger...

He closed his eyes in remorse..for giving her such pain and pushing her to this extend..

Vishnu was the one first noticed his presence ..and he hastily charged towards him..

"Karthik ..yennadaa idhellam ..engagement party nu Angel solraa?unakku therinji dhaan idhellam nadakkudhaa?r u that serious ?"

The news was indeed passed a shocker waves to him but he hid his surprise in a flash ..

"yes.."he replied boldly..

"What .."all the three pair of eyes glared at him in shock..

"Karthik don't make haste decisions which you may not change once u wanted to come back..so think before u talk.. ..."Vishnu clearly warned him ...

"I am not rushing up ,it's already five years late.."Karthik said in a clam voice..

Vishnu gritted his teeth in anger..but maintained his composure and tried to knock some sense into his wooden brain. "Don't u think something fishy about Angel rushing up things like this?"

"No.." he said curtly..

"Karthik..do u really think Angel is your lover from the past..? he cued through his eyes urging him to reveal the truth to Raji..but Karthik showed his royal ignorance to all his cues and said

"Yes ,I truly believe her words.."

"Don't be silly Karthik..i know u can't love her..."

"Why can't I...?I am so sure that I can love her in future.." he said very firmly stressing each word to make his point crystal clear..

Throughout the conversation Raji remained dumb and watched Karthik's face keenly which refused to show even a flicker of his emotion ..

"How come a man could be so cold like an ice mountain .!"she wondered..

And finally when he said that he can love Angel ..that's it..the fine thread holding her hope till then had been cut off completely and she was done..

she has been engulfed fully by the suffocating feeling irrevocably ...she turned around and walked out lifelessly ..

Vishnu looked at Karthik with a contemning look...and whispered..

"stupid..moron he dig his own grave.."

His memory drifted to the previous day's event..

Vishnu arrived at Karthik's cabin and knocked the door twice..not getting any response he just opened the door and dodged in and was baffled to see him lying on the floor unconscious..

He knelt down beside him and took him on his lap and patted his cheek

"Karthik..Karthik.."

He could get only his mumbling as a response..he sighed deeply in relief..

"Karthik yenna aachi..?vaa hospital ku polaam.."he rushed him to the hospital where Karthik regularly visits..

While Karthik has been treated inside the closed room and he was waiting outside with the thudding heart must be his most dreadful time of his life history..

After a while he had been called to doctors room..

"Hello doctor..I am Vishnu..Karthik's friend and colleague .."

"ungalukku Karthik oda case history pathi yedhavadhu theriyumaa?"

"theriyum doctor.."

"illai..actually we should not disclose our patient's history to anyone ..I need to talk to someone from his family ..it's really urgent.."

"Doctor.. ungalukke theriyum Karthik oda parents accident la erandhutaanga...avanoda guardians avan periyamma periyapaa dhaan but avangalum BP patients..neenga yedhuvaa irundhalum yen kittaiye sollunga..yenakku Karthik ae pathi yellame theriyum.."

"Last week yennai meet panna dha pathi ungakitta yedhavadhu sonnaraa?"

"illai doctor.."

"yenna dhaan nenaichittu irukaaru unga friend..naanga treatment pannaa mattum podhumaa how could we cure him if he is not cooperating..?"

"yenna aachu doctor?anything serious?"he asked worriedly..

"of course .it's getting serious now..all because of his reckless act...already he is taking medications for his depression besides that he had migraine head ache also ...last week severe head ache nu vandhaaru..already solliyaachi don't stress urself ..pazhasu yedhuvum niyaabagam varaatiyum paravaalai nu..atleast u r healthy now..you should be happy for that..don't strain ur brain too much nu avlo dhooram padichi..padichi solli anupinen..aanaa orae vaarathula mayangi vizhara alavukku stress aagi irukaaru..ippadi pannaa naanga yeppadi treat panradhu sollunga .. u can't even imagine how much pain he would have endured before passing out completely ..yedhukku avlo valiya thaanganum..appadi pazhasu niyaabagam vandhu yenna aaga pogudhu?brain is a very sensitive part..anga yendha nerves yenna pannudhunnu innum doctors ke puriyaadha pudhir aa irukku..appadi irukkum podhu .. consequences romba mosamaa irukkum nu ivlo dhooram yeduthu solliyum avaru alachiya paduthinaa yenna artham..unga friend ku nalla vazhanum nu aasai yae illaiyaa..?if he continues like this we can't help it..then u can't blame us for bad consequences..

"sorry doctor ..avanukku personal aa sila problems adhula konjam stress aagi irupaanu nenikaren..inimel naan paarthukaren..avanukku yeduthu solren.."

"konjam advise pannunga avarukku..inimel ippadi mayangi vizhundhaa..appuram romba kashtam.."

"Doctor yedho serious consequences nu soneengale adhu yenna?he asked with tensed look..

"ippadiye brain ah stress pannittu irundhaa his temporary depression will become a chronic depression, he will have dementia, gradually he may lose his memory completely to the point where he can't identify his own self..and in the worst case he may go to coma.."

"Doctor now u r frightening me.."

"ungala threat panradhaukkaga idhai naan sollaiali...I am alerting u before handed for the worst consequences..idhellm last counseling la sollium unga friend..tablet sariyaa saapidaama thoongaama..moolaiya pottu avlo stress panni irukaaru..if he continued like this ,in due time he may forget his own self and have to live his life like a live doll ..ippadi than nadakkum naan urudhiyaa sollalai.. ..it may happen nu alert panren..we can't judge the functions of brain that easily..it may turn anyway in anytime..so ask him to be more cautious on his health.."

"Sure doctor..doctor how is he now..?"

"He is fine now..ask him to continue the same medicines and come for the review check up next week..but sleep and relaxation is the best medicine ..don't get panic MR .Vishnu..he will be ok soon..I knew him for the past few years ..chinna vayasu vaazha vendiyaadhu yevalavo irukku..ippadi keduthukaraare nu dhaan yenakkum kobam.."

"puriyudhu doctor..inimel naan paarthukaren.."he reassured the doctor ...

Vishnu come to the room where Karthik was admitted..

He was leaning on the bedpost in sitting position in a fully awake condition... staring straightly as if he was in deep thought..

Vishnu rushed towards him and hugged him tightly..

"dai..naaye yendaa ippadi panna..?innoru dhadava mayangi vizhundhu paaru..naane unnai konnuduven ...pechu moochu illama nee mayangi kidandhadha paarthu...yenakku uyirae pochi theriyumaa?"

Vishnu taunted him with tears in his eyes..

Karthik patted his back comfortingly..

"dai,podhum daa china pullai maadhiri azhadha.."

He broke the hug and wiped his eyes feeling mortified..then only he noticed the nurse in the room gapping at him curiously..he felt even more embarrassed..

"naan onnum azhala..kannu verkkudhu avlo dhaan.."he covered up with lame excuse ,erupting a chuckle from the nurse..

"hello sirichadhu podhum..close friends thaniyaa pesanum..konjam veliya poreengalaa?"

He said in a commanding voice..for which he got another giggle as a response before she left ..

"Karthik..yendaa neeyum ivlo kashta paatu..mathavangalaiyum kashta paduthara..?"

"May be I am fated to live like this.."he said vexed ..

"chummaa yedhaavdhu pesaadha..Raji kitta poi unamiya sollu..indha Angel ,past love idhaiyellam vittu thallitu ozhungaa Raji oda serra vazhiya paaru.."

"yeppadi daa solradhu?memory lose ke mudiyalai..ippo coma level ku pogum nu solraanga..how could I drag her in this mess?"

"I am going to kill u..u idiot.."he yelled at him rage..he got fed up with his stubbornness..he controlled his frustration and said in a calm voice.."see Karthik..Raji is a quiet understanding girl she will take all this in a right sense ..ippo avaloda support unakku kandipaa thevai.."he tried to give some sense to him..

"Yes Raji understanding girl dhaan but adhukaaga yevlo dhooram avala burden panradhu..avaloda naan pazhagina avlo memories iyum marandhuten..irundhum kavalai padaama thirumba mudhalla irundhu aarambichi..yennai avala love panna vacha..ippo idhaiyum naan marandhutaennaa?thirumba ava modhalla irundhu aarambikanum..I can't let her whole life getting spoiled in just making me remember everything over and over again...ovoru naalum yeppo yenakku yenna aagumonnu oru bayathodaiyevaazhavendi irukkum...no daa..yennaala avalukku andha cursed life ah kudukka mudiyaadhu..she deserves to be happy .."

"manaangatti..ippo maatum ava happy aa vaa irukkaa?andha ponna dhaan dhinam dhinam torture pannittu irukiyae.."Vishnu busted fiercely.

"yen mela anbu irukara varaikkum dhaan ava feel pannuvaa..andha anbu kaanaama pogum bodhu indha vedhainai um illama podium..then she will be ok..."he said in a dangerously tranquil voice..

"nee pesuradhu yenakku onnum puriyala..what the hell is cooking up in ur crooked mind.?"He asked in fright..

"I am going to push her to the end where she will not return to me.."

Vishnu closed his eyes in frustration ..thinking of all the events happened in hospital..

"Stupid...he ruined everything with his own hands.."

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Karthik twisted and tossed on his bed..sleep seemed to be an unattainable object for him..every time he closes his eyes..Raji's hurtful dejected face slashed his heart into pieces..

After that fateful day Raji never turned up to the office..it has been passed the whole week now..there is no news about her ...he heard Lakshmi telling to Vishnu that Raji went to her home town..

It would be good for her to be with her parents at this time ..he thought..

Mother's lap was the safest and most comforting place in the world..he believe...

Of all the time he missed his mom now like anything..he wanted to lay down on her lap and pour out all his hurt, his pain his failure in retaining his love..his incapability of protecting his woman..he wanted to cry so badly..all he need was a lap to rest and a heart to share his pain..but he deprive of that too..

His mother was not with him..now he fully felt that he is an orphan ..real orphan..

Immersing in his thought he had not noticed that the door has been opened and a lean form entering the room..a soft hand touched his forehead and caressed the frown mark to ease it..

He snapped open his eyes to be welcomed by the sight of Mala Aunty's concern filled eyes..

She was sat by his side and looking at him compassionately..

"Yenna paa innum thoongalaiyaa..?

"Thookam varalai maa..neenga yean maa innum thoongalai..?"

"Nee thoongaama irukkum bodhu yenakku mattum yeppadi thookam varum?"

"sari maa naan thoongaren neenga ponga.."

"ilali nee thoongaradha paarthuttu dhaan naan poven..konja naalaa nee sariyaa thongaradhe illai yenakku theriyaadhu nu nenaikiriyaa ?yendha problem aa irundhaalum nee thoongaadha dhaala yedhuvum sari aagida poradhu illai so..ozhungaa kannai moodi thoongu..atleast it would give u strength to face those problems.."

His throat choked by her authoritative yet affectionate words..he gulped it hard and asked..

"amma konja neram naan unga madila paduthukattumaa?"

She nodded and smiled at him and made him to sleep on her lap ..silently caressing his hair fondly..

Tears poured down continuously and his body trembled by his silent cry..

"yennaachi paa..?"she asked worriedly..

"amma..I must be the worst son on earth..adhaan kadavul appaa amma rendu periume yenakku illama pannitaaru..avanga rendu per la oruthar irundhirundhaa kooda naan ippadi anaadhai aagi irukka maaten la..?naan yenna avlo mosamaana paiyanaa?kadavul yen maa ippadi panaaru?"he asked with so much of distress..and hurt..

The hand that caressed his hair stopped in air...she softly detached him from her lap and he looked at her puzzled..an inscrutable agony in her face struck him dumb found ..

"Life la sila vishayam ippadi dhaanu mudivaagi irukkum..adhai naama yevlo try pannaalum maatha mudiyaadhu..ippo naan yevlo try panniyum unnoda manasula yennai ammaavaa yethukka mudiyalai ila..adhu maadhiri dhaan..naan dhaan paithiya kaari, nee ammaa nu koopiduradhai unmai nu nambikittu sandhosha pattukittu iruken..yenna panninaalum naan malady dhaan garadhu maara poradhu illai nu purinjikiten.."

He was startled by her words..and shocked beyond limits..he never thought that him inadvertently mentioning him as an orphan would hurt Mala Amma in this totally unexpected way..

"ippadi solradhaala Mala aunty ku neenga yevlo periya aniyaayam panreenga theriyumaa?ungalukku ammavave vaazhndhukittu irukaanga avanga.."Raji's words hit him like a thunderbolt..

What an irrevocable blunder he had done..how he is going to redeem that he had ruined..?

"amma..naan appadi mean pannalai maa.."he hurriedly denied with a panic stricken face but it was too late as the damage has already been done.

"Paravaalai pa..I can understand..nee thoongu..." she stood up and walked out with slow weak steps..

Seeing her dropped shoulders and feeble steps a pang of pain cut through him sharply...

"Today I hurt the most sacred soul of my life with the utmost cruelty of my words..It wouldn't have happened if I have not ignored my guardian Angel's words .."

Why it is always me and my preferences comes first when it comes to take decision..how brutal it would have been... like a dictator I tend to set other's destiny on my own..being in my unrefined state I never once thought how my heedless decisions give pain to my loved ones..I convinced myself with the pretext of I am doing for their own good.. .why it is always me greedily receiving all the love and not reciprocating it even a bit..above all I was complaining that I have no one to love what an irony where in reality I have so many loving hearts showering unconditional love on me..with my arrogance and adamantly ignorant attitude I was keep on hurting the innocent people who did nothing wrong other than showering me with bundles of love...

At this time he felt terrible thinking of the amount of pain he gave to Raji..who only knows nothing but love him selflessly..

Throughout my life I have been living like a monster .. sucking out all the love from people and rendering back them only pain.. today my unintended words were interpreted out like I never once acknowledged mala amma as my real mom..instead calling her as mom for the name sake...how painful it would be for her to hear me uttering those vehemence words..?he wanted to scream he gripped his hair tenaciously and felt like yanking it out..

While he mourning over his misdeed to Mala amma..he was flabbergasted with the flash of all the sinful deeds he did to raji..if his inadvertent words hurt Mala amma to this extend means then what about all te cruel things he intently did to raji would have done to her? A sudden rush of fear chilled his spine..

How heart wrenching for Raji hearing those words from me..all these wouldn't have happened if he had listened to his heart atleast for once.."Oh dear what I have done ?how I am going fix all the damages I have caused..Am I even worth enough to see her face.?" Feel of remorse cut him sharply and hurt him deeply than ever..his whole body cringed in pain...

"I am sorry ma..I am sorry Raji.." his heart wrenched in pain..

For the first time since the battle started between his heart and mind..he decided to go with his heart..

From now on I am going to listen to my heart not my darn brain that always led me in wrong way and screwed up my whole life...
This time there will be no hiding behind my miseries..it's high time for me to repent and mend everything i had devastated...who am I to take decision on her behalf..?who am I to choose where her happiness lies ?who the hell am I to hurt her in the worst possible way...there should be an end to every misdeed ..and here is the full stop for my domination over other's freedom of making their own choice..I am not going to take any decision anymore...
All I am going to do is surrender myself to her...let her decide my future.. I swear by all means I will bring back the smile to her face which I had crushed ruthlessly..I will fix everything I had ruined recklessly..even if it costs my life..

The determination and the enlightenment of seeing the life in a different light showed him a new path to life.. the dawn breaks chasing not only the darkness of the world but also the gloominess of negative thoughts deposited on his heart as well..

He woke up with clear mind and nice smile on his face , ,with a new hope of starting the life afresh ...

To be continued