Posted:
Originally posted by: lovely_lady
So I'm finally getting around to review this. LOL I'm so so SO sorry for the late review! Things have been kinda busy and I didn't want to half-ass my last (so crazy to think it's ending!) review! Anyways, onto the chapter!
The way you opened up this chapter was just phenomenal Shwetha! At first it seemed like Ramesh had moved back into GH, but slowly, you revealed that not only had he continued living somewhere else, but RaKa academy was starting, Ramy was back in GS, and Viren was still saru when it came to Kabir 😆 Forreal tho, amazingly introduction. It actually felt like I was witnessing a time leap. Great job in keeping the essence of the fic the same throughout the chapters, but also changing it a bit in this leap. I'm not articulating this properly for some reason, but I just really liked how the introduction seemed so fresh, like you were starting a new story, but at the same time, the beginning also had the feel of the previous chapters. It's hard to explain but it's really well done girl 👏The whole bit of the men of the family laughing and talking. It was well done, but some of the dialogues were off? Like it felt like the dialogues would be better suited to being in hindi/ some other language than english. Especially that "teacher she is" dialogue Ramy had -- "Teacher jo hai" sounds better to me, in terms of grammar and flow, but that's just me being picky LOL.And LOL awww Bunty and Jwala! I'm so glad you included them in the fic! I always liked how the show hinted at how close Jwala-Bunty were due to their age similarities but was always sad it wasn't really portrayed too much. Glad you had them here! And LOL Bunty complaining and making excuses like always 😆 And speaking of being in character, Sukku!! Always remarking on others and then stammering when it came to him! 😆And that scene with Dada Ji. Some things never change and I'm super glad you included Dada ji still being strict and Viren still being cautious of Dada ji/ the tattletale 😆 Forreal tho, I think it was a very smart decision to not give them all drastic personality changes. Yes Ramy moving out of the house would've changed some things, but the essence of the brothers would always remain. And as long as Dada Ji was there, some distance would always exist. I'm glad the brothers seemingly made peace with that though. That's all you can really do in such situations. You can't really change who you've been for years within a few years. Change takes a long time. The best you can do is adapt and accept the situation as is. But I'm digressing LOL sorry.Not gonna comment on cousin's futures. That wasn't really the part of the fic anyway LOL. But lovely Sukku-Ramy scene. I liked how you reinforced that Ramy was a man of his words. He had pledged to give their children their own choice in making decisions for themselves. But often times, when push comes to shove, most people rescind on things they've said, so with the whole Sukku attempting to do an intimate scene thing, it would've been so predictable and believable too (as much as I'm against it) if Ramy had refused Sukku the permission. But, like always, he proved why he was so awesome and let Sukku make his own decision. Honestly, that's kinda what parenting should be about. You equip your kids with the right morals and ideals and then trust them. Because if you don't trust them with their own decisions, then it's kinda like saying you don't trust the upbringing you've given them. Idk. Going off track again LOL. And LMAO FRENCH CHRISTIAN?!?! Yaar, Sukku has really gotten wings and is taking full advantage of the liberalization of the family 😆And LOL! The entire thing I said about accepting situations was basically repeated by Viren! 😆 It's great how you had the last internal monologue come from Viren. This entire fic was a testament to how much Viren suffered (mostly brought on by himself) and to show him finally realizing this was really fulfilling. A full circle!And LMAO THE END!!! 😆Now for final words!! It's so crazy to think that this fic has ended! Wow! It didn't feel that long, even though you had 15 chapters and each chapter was quite substantial in length. Honestly speaking, I think that's the hallmark of a great writer, one who keeps you so engaged that you don't even realize the time/ length! So once again, wonderfully written story Shwetha! I enjoyed reading it and I enjoyed discussing it with you! Well done 👏👏👏I hope to read other works by you in the future! I'll be your most faithful critic (although you might have to remind me to review 😆) !!! 😉
So finally I get your review...😆😆 Thanks for taking time and giving awesome reviews like this. It definitely helps me to improve my writing.
Honestly, the introduction was like my dream. I wanted something like that where all the cousins settle in their lives, while the brothers still have their distance. As you said, that distance cannot be mended. They had to live with it but they could just see that it doesn't break anymore.
Glad you enjoyed the cousins part. Yes...Hindi would have been better. Actually there had been lot lot lot of places in the story where I wanted to write in Hindi as that would have been impactful. But I stuck to English. Except for few words like Bhaiya, Chote, and RDR...I have kept it in English itself. Its actually weird writing a story in English when the characters actually converse in Hindi.
The whole part of Sukku were for two reasons actually. One- As you said, it was about parenting and how Ramy had always given the liberty to his kids to make their career choices because of which his kids discuss their career with him. Two- It was to show how Ramy could make independent decisions without needing to consult anyone. Now that we talk about French Christian here...I am imagining RL as FIL and MIL...😆 That would be fun..😆
I think no one can have a complete change of character...They can tone down a bit. That's it. That's how Dadaji is. He has grown to be liberal but he still commands fear and respect.
On the whole...Though I never planned to give the story an ending...I am glad I gave it. I feel completely satisfied. Thanks to you and all the readers for being regular in the reading. Also...The entire plot in itself was so interesting for me to push myself to write regularly too.
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