Posted:
Today was the day. He was getting married for the third time in his lifetime and not with the same woman.
Neil was sitting on the couch, buttoning up his sherwani. He got up and went to stand in front of mirror.
There in front of him, he saw a man who was weak and broken to such extent he didn't knew if he will be whole again.
"Mowgli, Mitali and I, we'll be a family. Yes Mitali is perfect for me. We can move on together. I will be happy with her and Mowgli also will get a mom who is the best and not a runner."
"Yes! That's it. That's all I have to think now. About making my little family which I never got a chance to since past 10 years.
Avni will also be happy by no longer being associated with me."
, recited Neil out loud with a smile so wide and so forced that it had taken all his strength to make it look real, to his reflection , as if saying it loudly will make it all true.
But somewhere in the deepest corners of him, the part of him that still loved Avni knew it is all a farce.
As Neil ruffled through his cupboard, his hand hit a box. He wiped the tear that had unknowingly crossed his eye, betraying him and took that box out only to find out that the silver box was not his and he was unknown about the contents that lied inside him.
Curiosity won and when he opened it, he was struck with the memories of the woman that meant so much for him. As he saw her after 10 long years, it struck him how much he had missed her.
How broken he was after she died. How alone he felt himself to have that motherly blanket snatched away from him and how. Neela Maa.
It was a picture of him, Avni and Neela Maa.
It was their last picture of them together. How happy they were. How happy he was to have all of his family together. But that one moment ruined everything.
He doesn't think he had ever been genuinly happy after that night. How can he be happy? The loss, that night was so heavy to bear.
"Neela Maa! "utters Neil feeling very helpless, all fight gone from his body, as he slumps down on the couch,and closes his eyes.
"Neil!"
His ears instantly rise. That voice.Her voice. "No No it can't be", he tells himself. Then he feels it. Neela Maa! Her motherly presence instantly silenced the storms inside him.
He feels the palm of her hand on his head. Forever giving him blessings. Such was her love..always giving and not expecting anything in return.
He looks up with tears unabashedly flowing from his eyes.
There, in front of him is the lady who was the reason for his greatest happiness. There in front of him was his mother in law who was more closer to him and knew him much better than his own mother.
"Neela Maa" he uttered like a kid who was away from his mother for a very long time, before placing his head on her lap and sobbing his heart out.
"Neil...Arey...Sshhh Baccha aise rote nahi hai"
She caressed his hair so lovingly, calming all the chaos inside him.
Neil tightened his hold on her and said,
"Maine aapko bohot miss kiya Neela Maa. Bohot jyada."
Neela smiled that angelic smile of hers stroking his hair lovingly and said,
"Maine bhi tumhe bohot miss kiya baccha par sshh aise rote nahi" she wiped his tears and kept stroking his hair, calming him.
"Neil! Beta! Meri ek baat sunoge?"
She asked after sometime, as if he would not listen to her. As if he had ever not listened to her. He was a Mumma's boy through and through.
"Avni ko ekbaar mauko do uski baat kehneka beta."
He got up instantly from her lap, all calmness lost from his face.
"Nahi Neela maa.Please."
"Tumne mujhse vaada kiya tha Neil. Ki tum Avni ko hamesha khush rakhoge. Ki uska saath tum kabhi nahi chodoge."
"Usne bhi mujhse vaade kiye the jiski usne Jara si bhi kadar nahi ki", retorted Neil, her words hitting him where it hurts the most.
"Par wo Avni hai. Wo hamesha se aisi hi thi Neil. Mushkil.
Par tum toh suljhe hue ho na beta. Tumhe pata hai na Avni kaisi hai. Tumhe pata hai na ki wo pyaar ke liye kisi bhi hadd tak jasakti hai." uttered Neela Maa calmly.
"Kaunsa pyaar. Kaise pyaar. Pyaar ke liye pyaar se door jana. Ye kaisa pyaar hai uska Neela Maa.Mein usko kabhi maaf nahi karsakta." questioned Neil while sitting beside his Neela Maa.
She caressed his face, wiping away his tears and continued,
"Tum Avni se gussa ho. Tumhe hakk bhi hai gussa hone ka. Par tum ye nahi bhool sakte ki Avni tumse pyaar Karti hai. Hamesha se karti ayi hai aur hamesha karti bhi rahegi.
Bohot pyaar. Itna ki wo tumhare khushi ke liye tumse door bhi jasakti hai."
"Yeh kaisa pyaar hai Neela Maa. Ki pyaar karne wale ko hi Tod de." rebukes Neil bitterly.
"Yeh wo pyaar hai jo selfish nahi hai. Jo apne khushiyan se jyada apne chahne wale ki khushiyon ka khayal karta hai."
"Yeh wo pyaar hai jo apne chahne wale ko bachane ke liye, apna wajood mita deta hai."
"Yeh Avni ka pyaar hai uske Neil ke liye. Uske Neil ke safety ke liye. Uske khushiyon ke liye. Ekbaar us pyaar ko mauka do Neil."
stated Neela with that sweet smile on her face and such confidence in her voice that Neil wanted to believe it all and never look back.
"Kaise? Kaise karu mein ye Neela Maa. Kaise bhool jau wo 10 saal. Meri madat karo Maa. Batao mujhe please!"
Pleaded Neil and opened his eyes to find noone in his room. It was as if Neela Maa had vanished in thin air taking away his calm along with her.
"Neela maa" he franticly searched her in the whole room.
"Neela Maa wapas ajaiye. I can't do this alone. Neela Maa I need you. Please.Come back."
sobbed Neil, like a kid who has lost his mother again, his face on the couch, absorbing all the sound of his cries.
After what felt like hours, but were mere minutes in actuality, came a knock on the door.
"Neil, Chal beta, panditji bula rahe hai.", came an excited voice of his mother from outside his room.
He got up and wiped his face so that there isn't any trace of sadness left on it.
He opened the door and walked towards the mandap where Mitali was waiting for him.
"Kya mein Avni se abhi bhi pyaar karta hu. Itna dhoka milne ke baad bhi?"
"Kya mein Mitali ke sath galat kar raha hu."
"Kya mein Avni ko kabhi maaf karpaunga?"
questioned Neil to himself while getting down from the stairs towards the Mandap.
All the memories of his and Avni's happy moments flashed in front of him, making his legs as well as his heart feel heavier.
Every step was so difficult to take, as if he is walking on sand.
There sat Mitali, his best friend who was all decked up in red attire.
He remembered him getting married to Avni. He remembered how beautiful she looked then. How beautiful she looked during their second wedding.He remembered his vows during the night he and Avni became one.
He then looked at Mitali and knew in his heart that he won't be able to love her. He knew with all his heart that he won't be true to her. He won't give her what he had given to Avni. She is not Avni. She is his best friend. And without Avni, he won't be whole again because she still has a part of him with her.
He stopped in his tracks, looked at Mitali in the eyes, whilst removing their engagement ring.
"I am sorry Mitali...I can't" he started
"Marry her" finished Avni from the entrance huffing and puffing as if she had ran miles to reach here.
"I am sorry but you can't marry her Neil!" announced Avni coming closer towards him, shocking him and each and everyone present in the room.
Current Affairs
