Chapter 7:
Neil's POV:
The shower had done me a lot of good. It felt good to wash away the grime of the hospital off of me.
I was rubbing a towel in my hair when I noticed the small picture frames on Neela Ma's dressing table. I smiled softly and moved closer to look at them
There were pictures of Avni and Aman as young kids. The newer baby pictures were pictures of Nikhil when he was smaller. I picked them up and stared at the face I had missed watching. Nikhil as a baby; rosy and chubby cheeks, wide brown eyes with long lashes. His toothless grins. Avni holding him in her arms and close to her body. Aman swinging him in a swing set.
My eyes were wet as I stared at the face of my son. I had wronged him. I hadn't been here for him. A decision I made when I was young had cost me so much.
"I'm sorry, Nik," I whispered at the small toothless face. "I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me for being the worst father ever."
I sat down on Neela Ma's bed and cried. My worst regret in life had been to leave Avni. It had only been now that I could see how much that one wrong decision had altered my life.
Yes, I found my son again. But, for how long?
Will Nikhil make it through this? Will I have the chance to make it up to him? Will I have the chance to be the father he deserved?
When my tears subsided, I picked up the phone to call the one person who I knew would make me feel better.
"Papa," I said as he picked up.
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Avni's POV:
"Only 24 hours, Avni," I told myself. I only had to last 24 hours in this house with Neil. By myself.
I couldn't sleep. But, I didn't dare venture out of my room either. I glanced at the baby monitor; Nikhil was still asleep.
I picked up my phone. It was almost noon. I would have to make Nikhil lunch soon. I dialled Ali's phone number.
It rang several times before it went to voicemail.
Shit. I was hoping he would be here and be a buffer between Neil and I; even if he hated Neil.
I sighed, picked up my phone and the baby monitor before heading to the kitchen.
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"Of course," I thought as I watched him with his head inside the fridge. "Bukhaar."
"Malti Tai usually makes food for us," I said as I watched him straighten up. "She's gone back to her village for the last week. Neela Ma cooks but I doubt she made anything for us. She's been busy."
"So? Nothing to eat?"
I laughed softly. "I'll make it."
"You?" He asked dubiously, "you cook?"
I narrowed my eyes at him, " I know how to cook."
"I beg to differ."
"Listen, it's not my fault you don't label your containers..."
"Oh right, because it's my fault you can't differentiate between sugar and salt."
I rolled my eyes at him before stepping around him. I grabbed some vegetables from the fridge, and pulled a cup of noodles from the cupboard.
Nikhil hasn't been eating anything but noodles for the last week. Anything else given to him made him nauseous. Dr Batra said it was normal for patients to have sensitive tastes to food.
"Here, let me help," said Neil as he grabbed a knife from the holder.
" I can do it by myself."
" I know you can. I'm just helping."
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"Should he be sleeping this long? Asked Neil as he checked his watch.
"It's the medication. Drains him out."
"I guess," he said as he scratched his head. "Hmm. Smells good, yaar Avni," he said as he lowered his face closer to the pan.
The pan sizzled with the spices. "Ow," he said as he jumped back.
"Neil! Dikhao. Dikhao," I said as I cupped his face, brought it down to my level and blew air in his eye. He squeezed his eye and blinked a couple of times. " Are you okay? "
"Fine," He said as he opened his eyes again to look at me. He stared at me and I let go of his face. " Why did you go have to go so close? Kuch hojata toh?" I said, trying to divert the topic and took a step back.
He stopped me with a hand on my wrist, and pulled me back to him.
He cupped my face and stroked my cheek with his thumb. I blinked. My heart was beating fast. I hadn't been this close to him in a long long time, and I didn't think that after all this time, he would affect me like this.
When his thumb grazed the bottom of my lips, I felt them part of their own accord. He leaned down and grazed his lips with my left cheek before he moved to my lips. His lips kissed mine and it felt like I was home after being lost for a long time. The rush of feelings I felt was so familiar. It was the same feelings I had 4 years ago when he kissed me the first time, and it was the same feelings I had every single time he kissed me thereafter.
It was like riding a bike. The time we had spent apart didn't exist. His lips knew mine and I knew his. When his tongue pushed inside my mouth, I gasped and pushed his face back.
" How dare you?" I asked him as I tried to catch my breath.
He blinked, surprised.
"Did you think this was a perk to add to your vacation?" I hissed angrily, " That you would get to f**king cheat on your wife with me?"
He looked so confused.
"What?" He asked.
"I may hate Rhea, Neil, but I'm not going to be the other woman in your relationship. I'm not going to be your dirty little secret."
"Cheat on Rhea? Avni, I'm not married."
I felt like he had punched me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me. "What?"
"I never went through with the wedding..."
"Wow," I breathed out, " that makes me feel so good." My voice dripped with sarcasm.
He sighed, "F**k. Avni. I loved you."
"Not enough, clearly!" My phone pinged with a text message. I pushed him away from my personal space and went to retrieve my phone. Ali. "Sorry. Was in a meeting. All okay?"
"All okay," I texted back. " Nothing important."
"Avni, listen. We need to talk..."
"No, we don't. You made your choice 3 years ago. I wasn't it," I replied as I looked at him. His face was tight with some emotion. His eyes dark and stormy. But, I couldn't give in now.
He had made his choice.
I turned around and left. I needed to wake Nikhil up for lunch so I headed into his room.
Once I was within the safety of Nikhil's room, I lost all my control. I leaned against the door and sobbed. The pain I had experienced came back.
The pain of losing Neil was back and back with a vengeance. When his mother had called me an illegitimate child who was born with dirty blood, it hadn't hurt this much. When she convinced him to marry my father's niece, Rhea Mehta, it hadn't hurt as much. When he had agreed to the wedding, it hadn't hurt that much.
It was worse now. It was worse because Nikhil was involved. It was worse because I knew; I had always known that he would walk away from us again. I knew that Nikhil would face the same rejection I had faced a few years ago, from his mother and before that from my own grandmother.
I didn't want him to go through this
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Neil's POV
I sighed as I rubbed my face with my hands. I didn't know if I should be mad that she thought I would cheat on my wife with her or if I should be taking this in stride and accept that I had not really given her the best reason to trust and have faith in me anymore.
I could hear her sobbing through the baby monitor that she had forgotten on the countertop. It broke my heart into a million pieces knowing that I couldn't go in there and comfort her.
I didn't even know how to make her change her opinion of me. I thought I had made some progress over the last few days, but she had been acting weird since we came back from the hospital.
When I offered to help her cut vegetables earlier, the banter had been easy and familiar. Like we had not even been apart.
Her sobs had subsided. I heard her taking deep breaths. "Nik," I heard her say after a couple of minutes, " wake up, baby." Her voice was soft and held only love. Her pain masked completely. I hated myself.
Avni had been fighting for a long long time. She had told me about her struggles with her family a long time ago; my mom had thrown that in her face when she found out and when she had convinced me to marry Rhea, me walking away from Avni had really pushed her to the edge.
Having our son go through leukaemia was not easy. Especially not on her. I knew that.
"Come on, I made noodles for you," she told him.
"No." Nik grumbled.
"I know you don't feel good, but you have to eat. Hm?"
I heard shuffling over the monitor before Avni said " I'll get you some of your favourite ice-cream after. How's that?"
"Alright," she said with a shout of glee, after a moment. I wondered where she got all this strength from.
When she came from brushing Nikhil's teeth, she busied herself with setting a plate for Nikhil while holding him on her hips.
"Here, Nik. Let me hold you," I said as I reached for him. But, he was content where he was and burrowed himself back into Avni's neck.
"Avni, listen," I said after a moment, "I'm sorry. I...I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you. Please."
"Fine," she said as she looked up at me. Brown eyes were cold and red rimmed. I watched her as she sat down and attempted to feed Nikhil. He wasn't feeling the greatest and only ate about a quarter of his lunch.
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Author's Note:
So, I borrowed the kitchen/spices scene from the show, so credit goes to the original writers for that!
I hope you liked this chapter. Looking forward to your reviews as usual!
Cheers,
NLisa
Edited by nlisa - 7 years ago
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