One Month Later-
DD sat opposite Neil, he smiled, patting his arm "She's okay honestly" he bit his tounge, not wanting to reveal the nights he and Sunheri had still heard her crying
Neil ran his hands through his hair "I messed up man, so badly, I should have trusted her, but I didn't, now everywhere I go, I see her, the photos on the wall show how much she loved me, how much she trusted me, its the small things she used to do that no one does anymore, and it breaks my heart that I cant hear her laughter anymore, and now I think of it, I figure maybe I never trusted her, the only reason I found her was because I had a tracker on her phone, she had no idea but she never questioned it"
DD slid his phone across the table "I think you should watch this"
Neil grimaced at the video, Avni's face was pale, dark circles under her eyes. He closed his eyes as she began to speak, savouring those moments he could hear her voice
"I am here to inform my fans that I will no longer be dancing, once upon a time I believed that dancing was something I wanted, I wanted to be free but I learnt the hard way that the only person that could free me from the jail of my mind was myself. As you all know, my manager Vidyut had a dark obsession with me, and it was through that I noticed I wasn't happy doing what I was, everyday was a chore and the job wasn't one I loved anymore. I wanted to be a role model to all the young girls, but I can't do that if im not happy"
Neil's eyes opened, he glanced down at the screen as she continued "I have a message, to all those young girls out there that dream of fame or fortune or their happily ever after, happiness comes from within, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you are all beautiful. But I must thank my husband for inspiring me to fight for my happiness, and even though we may be apart I will always pray for his happiness, because in his happiness lies my own. To every single person who has faced hardship, don't give up, happiness is out there for you all, thank you" she stepped back, walking away
Neil released a shaky breath "See how good she is, still wishing me happiness when all I gave her is pain"
DD shook his head "You made her very happy, she loved you, she still does, I dont think she ever will stop, but in every relationship there is give and take, and she gave a lot but took nothing in return, she saved you Neil, but who saved her, dont get me wrong, we can't save everyone, but this is her moment to shine, and if you cant offer her support, if you cant believe in her, most importantly if you cant trust her then dont try and come back into her life, she deserves so much better than that. She is, was and will always be a rare find, she deserves happiness and someone to stand by her side, your job was never to protect her, I made that mistake with Sunhi, my job is only to stand by her side as her support as she fights that battle herself, Avni loves you, but dont put her in a position where she can only love you or herself, please"
Neil nodded "I think she may be happier without me, would going back be a good idea"
"You tell me Neil, who fights for the girl who always fought for everything else, I get your past has affected you, but its no excuse for your lack of trust in her, no one should be trusted blindly but has she not done enough to earn your trust by now"? He sighed "Are you telling me youre just going to give up, maybe its time to fight for her, show her how much she means to you and let her decide"
Neil smiled "Thank you, how is Sunheri"
DD's face lit up "She's doing well, she has a brother actually, hes offered to help us out with a bone marrow transplant, they get along so well, but I wont lie man, we all miss you, Avni misses you"
XXX
Avni parked her car up the road, she got out, closing her car door she walked up the road slowly, her hand running across the wall before she reached Neil's house. Today was the day she would pick up all of her stuff, it had been just over a month since she had last seen him, heard his voice or been in close proximity.
Avni lifted her key, unlocking the door, the smell of home, the smell of him hitting her straight away she nearly stumbled back. Closing the door softly behind her she turned to the bedroom they used to share, nothing had changed. Avni sat on the bed, running her hand across the duvet.
Neil pushed open the bathroom door, ruffling his hair with the towel, he pulled it off, freezing as he saw Avni sat on the bed. Was it a dream? An imagination? Or was she really there? "Avni" he whispered
Avni stood up, all the pain of the past month came running back. Her chest tightened, her stomach flipped. "Hi, we agreed today I would come and collect my stuff, remember DD said, I thought you were going to be out, I can come back another time"
"No" she couldnt leave now, not after all this time "Don't leave" he felt weak. "You look well, healthy" he noted
Avni smiled "Thank you, I feel healthier, you look great" but then again, he always did
"So, what are you doing now, for work"
"I actually work as a real estate agent, it pays well and I get to meet new people, how have things been with you" Avni asked
"Rubbish, in all honesty Avni, I miss you"
Avni looked taken aback by his bluntness, unsure what to say she just nodded
"I messed up, big time and no apology will ever make that right, I cant ask you to even consider taking me back, because I dont deserve it, I just want you to know I will always be waiting, incase a day comes where you change your mind"
"Im not sure what to say to that Neil, I think for a long time thats all I wanted to hear, but im happy now, you know and for a long time I let your happiness be my happiness, I kind of forgot how to be happy myself, dont get me wrong, it wasnt all you, I messed up to, I should have said something, I should have left Vidyut, but I didnt and I cant blame you for that. I should have told you I was getting bad again, I didnt, I never told you I was lonely and sad, and I was so focused on being a good wife, I forgot how to be me, and I need to find myself now Neil, before I can even consider being near you, but that doesnt mean I dont love you, because I do, and I miss you every day, but until we are both at our best, what's the point in going back" she questioned
"I understand that, there's no pressure, all I want is for you to be happy because its time I put you first, and if that happiness isnt with me, fine, I will still support you even from afar, just know if you ever need me I will only be a phone call away"
"Thanks Neil, I appreciate that, im just gonna get my stuff" she smiled "Where is it"
Neil pointed to the wardrobe, he walked away, unable to see Avni pack up the last of her things.
Avni opened the wardrobe, her heart aching at how all of her stuff was in the exact same place. She pulled it out and put it into the satchel she had brought with her, then made her way into the living room, shocked to see the pictures of them both still up. Her eyes glanced across the big picture on the wall of just her, her eyes filled with tears.
"It was my faviourate picture, I hope you dont mind" Neil spoke, shaking her out of her trance
"Why" she asked "Why keep all of this, its been one whole month Neil, one month since you lost trust for me"
"Because im a stupid man who loves you more than id like to admit, I expect everyone to just mess me around, so I judged you, but that doesnt mean I ever stopped loving you"
"You said you did" she guffawed
"I lied, look at this" he grabbed her wrist, pulling her outside "I made the garden exactly how you wanted in hopes that you would come back, and I could show you, ive been living in the hope you would return and maybe that's stupid" he shrugged
"Its beautiful, I just, I want to forget what you said, but I can't Neil, I just cant, all I ever asked was that you trust me, you didnt, so you tell me, how do I trust you won't break my heart again"
Neil nodded "I understand Avni" he leant closer, kissing her forehead "I just hope one day, you may begin to trust me, even just a little"
Avni nodded "It was never about not trusting you, it was about you not trusting me and until I know for sure you can be trusted, we cannot move forward, but for now, please remember I will always be the woman who loved you, who still loves you now, but it was you who taught me the importance of loving myself" she wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him, just once but to much had happened for any of it to be that easy.
Just a few more chapters left! Sorry its late, but this story will be my focus now so I can finish it rather than making anyone wait any longer, then from there I will decide what to do about other Avneil stories.
Anupamaa
