Posted:
Another thought which I had whilst I was on the underground and so I decided to pen it down. Hope you guys like it.
Consumed
5 years later.
It had been five years.
Five years since he had seen her.
Five years since he had heard her.
Five years since he had touched her.
It had been five years.
Five years of him just feeling her.
Feeling her in the howling winds that somehow calmed him.
Feeling her in the torrential rainstorms which somehow soothed him.
Feeling her in the scorching sun and its burning rays which reminded him of her fiery avatar.
This is what his five years have been about.
Him just trying to grasp onto her or just a shadow of her, just a little more so that he feels alive. Just a little more. That's all he needed. That's all he's been asking for. It had been five painful years. There's no other way to describe a life where your reason of living is no more.
Painful.
The word was neither as powerful nor as impactful as the feeling it generated. The feeling of pain. While others detested it, he seemed to find it quite beautiful. Beautiful because of her. Beautiful because through this pain he was reminded of her.
Of her laugh.
Of her tears.
Of her love for him.
Of her words.
Of her touch.
Of everything about her.
He had readily and happily accepted this pain for through this pain he had, yet again, accepted her. He always would.
"Avni." He exhaled, his arms automatically opening, as he intakes the cold air. The cold air which reminded him of his Avni. Eyes closed and arms widely spread, he allowed the wind to consume him the way Avni's love had consumed him. Even after all these years, just the thought of her managed to make his heart skip a beat. It wasn't surprising, for, Avni didn't only own his heart, but also his heartbeats.
However, his thoughts were disturbed by a sudden tugging at his trousers. Peering downwards, he found a young boy staring at him intently. Furrowing his eyebrows, he bent down to the child's level and asked, "What is it?" The child merely stared at him and then, at the candy floss stall and back at him. Upon understanding the child's desire, he inquired, "Want some?" The child nodded eagerly making him chuckle. Standing up, he reached for the child's palm and gestured a 'let's go!'
He had swallowed three in five minutes. One pink and two whites. To say that it was amusing would be an understatement. How can someone so petite intake so much candy floss and that too, so rapidly? He stared at the child in front of him with a confused yet amused look. He ruffled the child's soft brown curls, making the child look up. "Thank you, dude! See you around!" He watched as the child sprinted away from him and disappeared into the entrance of a nearby society. He smiled. One of his real smiles, which nowadays, didn't make much of an appearance.
Unless.
Unless he was busy with her thoughts.
Turning away, he began making his way home.
Home.
It didn't feel like home anymore. It hasn't felt like home since she left.
Stepping inside, he locked the door, kept the keys on the side table and made his way into the kitchen. Switching on the kettle, he went to the cupboard and grabbed a mug. He quickly made a coffee and made his way towards the balcony where he'd spent most of his nights with his sweetheart.
"Hey. Missed me? I know you did. Sorry, I know I'm a little late but something came up. I met a little boy and he wanted candy floss so I had to give in and buy him some. I'm hoping you'll understand because you're exactly the same. What? Don't look at me like that. You're the same with your beloved 'poha'. Yes, I know. I know. I'm guilty too when it comes to Bebe's sandwich. But poor me! What can I do? I have to manage with those sandwiches, seeing that you're a terrible cook who only knows how to make French fries. Okay! Okay! Okay! Stop it with the glares. I'm sorry. I'm only joking. C'mon shine a little for me so I know I'm forgiven." He winked playfully at the sight in front of him.
"By the way, I missed you too. I always miss you. And, I love you. I'll always love you, wifey."
And this was how Neil would spend his nights. Looking up at the dark sky consisting of bright twinkling stars, which one of them he believed, is his Avni.
Consumed
5 years later.
It had been five years.
Five years since he had seen her.
Five years since he had heard her.
Five years since he had touched her.
It had been five years.
Five years of him just feeling her.
Feeling her in the howling winds that somehow calmed him.
Feeling her in the torrential rainstorms which somehow soothed him.
Feeling her in the scorching sun and its burning rays which reminded him of her fiery avatar.
This is what his five years have been about.
Him just trying to grasp onto her or just a shadow of her, just a little more so that he feels alive. Just a little more. That's all he needed. That's all he's been asking for. It had been five painful years. There's no other way to describe a life where your reason of living is no more.
Painful.
The word was neither as powerful nor as impactful as the feeling it generated. The feeling of pain. While others detested it, he seemed to find it quite beautiful. Beautiful because of her. Beautiful because through this pain he was reminded of her.
Of her laugh.
Of her tears.
Of her love for him.
Of her words.
Of her touch.
Of everything about her.
He had readily and happily accepted this pain for through this pain he had, yet again, accepted her. He always would.
"Avni." He exhaled, his arms automatically opening, as he intakes the cold air. The cold air which reminded him of his Avni. Eyes closed and arms widely spread, he allowed the wind to consume him the way Avni's love had consumed him. Even after all these years, just the thought of her managed to make his heart skip a beat. It wasn't surprising, for, Avni didn't only own his heart, but also his heartbeats.
However, his thoughts were disturbed by a sudden tugging at his trousers. Peering downwards, he found a young boy staring at him intently. Furrowing his eyebrows, he bent down to the child's level and asked, "What is it?" The child merely stared at him and then, at the candy floss stall and back at him. Upon understanding the child's desire, he inquired, "Want some?" The child nodded eagerly making him chuckle. Standing up, he reached for the child's palm and gestured a 'let's go!'
He had swallowed three in five minutes. One pink and two whites. To say that it was amusing would be an understatement. How can someone so petite intake so much candy floss and that too, so rapidly? He stared at the child in front of him with a confused yet amused look. He ruffled the child's soft brown curls, making the child look up. "Thank you, dude! See you around!" He watched as the child sprinted away from him and disappeared into the entrance of a nearby society. He smiled. One of his real smiles, which nowadays, didn't make much of an appearance.
Unless.
Unless he was busy with her thoughts.
Turning away, he began making his way home.
Home.
It didn't feel like home anymore. It hasn't felt like home since she left.
Stepping inside, he locked the door, kept the keys on the side table and made his way into the kitchen. Switching on the kettle, he went to the cupboard and grabbed a mug. He quickly made a coffee and made his way towards the balcony where he'd spent most of his nights with his sweetheart.
"Hey. Missed me? I know you did. Sorry, I know I'm a little late but something came up. I met a little boy and he wanted candy floss so I had to give in and buy him some. I'm hoping you'll understand because you're exactly the same. What? Don't look at me like that. You're the same with your beloved 'poha'. Yes, I know. I know. I'm guilty too when it comes to Bebe's sandwich. But poor me! What can I do? I have to manage with those sandwiches, seeing that you're a terrible cook who only knows how to make French fries. Okay! Okay! Okay! Stop it with the glares. I'm sorry. I'm only joking. C'mon shine a little for me so I know I'm forgiven." He winked playfully at the sight in front of him.
"By the way, I missed you too. I always miss you. And, I love you. I'll always love you, wifey."
And this was how Neil would spend his nights. Looking up at the dark sky consisting of bright twinkling stars, which one of them he believed, is his Avni.
Jodha Akbar
Anupamaa
