What made Dev fall for Vidhi (and why not for Amba) - Page 3

Originally posted by: bhshre95

@bold- Agree completely and love this so much!! Vidhi is young and has lived a protected life till now. She got a lot of things without struggling like job was offered to her on a platter, got a great mentor as Dev. I am not saying its her mistake but things were just easy for her. Who knows even Amba might have been like Vidhi but had to learn things the hard way. And its commendable that she built so much on her own!!

I hope she does have a happy ending, not with Dev but someone else😆 and is not turned negative😒

@pink- honestly speaking I don't think Satyavati would be able to gel with any girl unless the girl is ready to give up everything, has no ambitions of her own and wouldn't mind having to hear and follow with a smile, the most regressive traditions 😆

Interesting thought! But I doubt if Amba was like Vidhi, she could ever turn into the manipulative woman that Amba is now. I mean learning to deal with the world stragertically is one thing, but manipulating relationships to get what you want, that's not something one turns into because of one's life's events, that's something one inherently is.

Originally posted by: sumaishu

Wow so beautifully written dear. 👏

Thanks a lot.

Originally posted by: tandra_d

Interesting discussion. I'm glad someone initiated this topic.

I feel both Vidhi and Amba have fallen for Dev Rai Chand for the same underlying reasons. Dev was there for them when both were in their most vulnerable states.

For Amba, Dev was there to help with her dad's business and even bury the father like a son would do during the funeral. He earned Amba's respect while doing all of that and showed guidance to Amba and her family. And of course, Dev has other traits that attract others.

For Vidhi, Dev was there to help her gain confidence. To help her believe in herself. He showed guidance to her and her family. Vidhi used to be a person who'd get lost while walking from the sweet shop to her house (1st episode). And now, the same Vidhi speaks with confidence about what's on her mind.

In either case, Dev has been shown to be humble, sensible, and honest. I do think Amba wasn't this mature, or street smart back in the days when Dev met her. A person becomes mature with time and experience and I'm sure so will Vidhi.

For me, personally, Dev likes Vidhi because of her simplicity. He is a successful business man and he is surrounded by people who always think of business transactions. Just like Amba is pushing Dev to share his feelings towards her, so is Vidhi (at least that is what happening in the last few episodes). But their method(s) are different and I think that's what differentiates them. Vidhi does it with respect and Amba does it with authority.

That's my opinion.

Agreed. And this makes all the difference in the world. It shows your intention behind your actions.

I agree with you to a certain extent that once a person is in the same social class, it's natural to do certain things out of authority provided that the relationship has been established that way by both parties and not one sided. While this may be true in some cases, in Amba's case the authority has been portrayed in a more possessive way. Amba feels that she owns Dev's decisions and takes the liberty of taking certain decisions on Dev's behalf (e.g., whether may it be giving Priya a company to handle so she stops complaining at home or buying out an advertising company because that company wouldn't have selected Dev' company, and etc). In other words, Amba thinks she has the right to interfere in Dev's matter. It's a right that she was not given by Dev but rather voluntarily taken on her own.

Dev is a strong individual who can manage issues without interference from Amba whether it's personal or professional. To me, that type of interference has little to do with which social strata you belong to.

The more I write or think of the differences between Amba and Vidhi, it's getting clearer as to why Dev is leaning more towards Vidhi rather than Amba. It's important to know where to exercise your authority...even if Vidhi knows she has some influence on Dev, but it's a matter of knowing when to use that right/influence rightfully.

Originally posted by: aekiel

Another interesting take!

Re bold, how much of this is down to the age (and more importantly IMO, class) difference? If you're of the same age and run in the same social circles class-wise (as is the case with Amba-Dev), it'd probably be more natural for one to do it out of authority rather than respect.. (assuming I'm understanding authority correctly here- as in with a level of haq/confidence rather than respect/reverence/deference)

Originally posted by: Telly_Addict

Now I have something more to share about the love Vidhi and Amba have for Dev...

Amba whatever we have seen her is all about I loved you for 15years, i put sindoor for these many years, i waited for you for all these years, I loved you now you have to love me back.

Her love all this wile is "About her", "she is doing some charity to Dev by loving him"... her love is Selfish and she is demanding her feelings to be returned cause she has invested 15 years in pursuing those feelings.

On other hand.. Vidhi's love is about Dev.

The very first time she bared her heart in Coffee Date with Dev.. it was all about Him.

how he does everything for others, takes care of others, being responsible and everything else. it was never about Vidhi but how he has something which made him a "would be life partner" for her.

Even on the NRI-stay-over day.. she was like "Aap ho hi itne ache, ke aapke aage koi bhata hi nahi"

She is never about what i am doing for you but what you are who made me fall for you... and thats something new for Dev.. to see himself so important for someone else. her love is Selfless.

As you said Dev is like a dried up river after so many years of responsibilities, burdens... Vidhi came as stream of fresh water in his life. She gave a new life to his dried/hardened heart... and it got new blood flow of happiness, smiles, self appreciation.

They way she keeps on reminding him what he is to the world, how he makes world a better place.. I am sure Dev knows it all but considered it to be just duties but Vidhi turned all these things into his Qualities, his USP which i am sure he must have never thought about in past.

For me Vidhi's love is what he deserves to get rejuvenated in life,

to prioritize himself over his family, to put his happiness first than others..

as Vidhi has started doing that already.

He gives her confidence and hand holding to fight her world,

while she gives him a soft shoulder to lean on when he comes back after fighting his own worlds.

Beautifully written! So true! That's the difference between the so-called love which is self-centred and self-fulfulling and true love which is about the person you love.

I am not saying in the typical sense that one should forget oneself completely in love or a relationship as is typically romanticised in books, poems and in TV, that's self-depricating in so many ways. But at the same time, it should not be all about you like it's in case of Amba. There should be a balance. Yes, you should see yourself and your needs but at the same time you should see the person you say you love. Nothing should be forced, there should be ample space for two people to excercise their will, but keeping the other person in view always.

And for any sane non-domineering person the first stage of love is naturally about the person one loves, because one is in awe of them, filled with respect and reverence, at the same time wishing, "can this person ever be mine", "I wish this person can be mine", "I wish he would see me as I see him". But mind you, it's wish and hope, not force and tantrum to trap that person. That's the difference between Vidhi and Amba's love.

Originally posted by: Telly_Addict

i beg to disagree.. there is a difference being Authoritative and Dominating

Authority is not the issue but how you use/misuse that authority to guide/manipulate people is the thing.

Amba is Dominating and she wants other person to "follow her will" if not she knows how to manipulate them to do so. She is authoritative and she also knows how to use it in an arrogant way to force others to accept her demands.

Amba wanted to be the same to Dev but Dev doesnt take crap from her and shut her up.

Regarding Vidhi..Dev knows he has authority but he never misuses it. He used it when he wanted her to learn how to order coffee and she did, but when she asked "shall i do that other job" he says "its ur will"

He is always thoughtful towards her, he never forces his decision on her. And always considers Vidhi's will, her consent, her wish at the highest level before taking any decision for her.

So I feel Authority is not question regarding Amba, its her way of twisting that authority to manipulate others.

Agreed. Amba being dominating and manipulative is the problem. Her being authoritative or confident is not the issue here.

@RED

Great example. Dev has authority not only over Vidhi but over her family as well but he uses it to guide them towards a better future rather than exercising his own will. Because authority should be handled with responsibility, and Dev knows it very well.

I think at the end, it comes down to priorities here, for Amba she is the priority, for Dev everyone else but him (Vidhi, his famil, his staff, children of Balghar) are his priority, and for Vidhi, Dev and her family are the priority.

Originally posted by: tandra_d

I agree with you to a certain extent that once a person is in the same social class, it's natural to do certain things out of authority provided that the relationship has been established that way by both parties and not one sided. While this may be true in some cases, in Amba's case the authority has been portrayed in a more possessive way. Amba feels that she owns Dev's decisions and takes the liberty of taking certain decisions on Dev's behalf (e.g., whether may it be giving Priya a company to handle so she stops complaining at home or buying out an advertising company because that company wouldn't have selected Dev' company, and etc). In other words, Amba thinks she has the right to interfere in Dev's matter. It's a right that she was not given by Dev but rather voluntarily taken on her own.

Dev is a strong individual who can manage issues without interference from Amba whether it's personal or professional. To me, that type of interference has little to do with which social strata you belong to.

The more I write or think of the differences between Amba and Vidhi, it's getting clearer as to why Dev is leaning more towards Vidhi rather than Amba. It's important to know where to exercise your authority...even if Vidhi knows she has some influence on Dev, but it's a matter of knowing when to use that right/influence rightfully.

Very aptly written.

@BOLD

Completely agreed.

Amba things Dev is his possession and such possessive love is bound dominate and manipulate because you stop seeing the other person as a person but you see them rather as your possession. And when things go out of control, you manipulate situation to get things back under your control.

Originally posted by: prs_725

Great Analysis.

Another thing i'd like to note is that Dev mentioned, he had no idea she was in love w him for 15 years - else he said he would have told her the truth. So this love she's been harboring for 15 years, she sort of makes him feel guilty or feel the burden of her sacrifices, which is not fair.

Also, aren't they meeting up after 15 years as well? I'm thinking if she wanted to make an impact in his life, she could have been there as a friend or support system for those 15 years rather than just showing up now. Unless Dev abs did not want to see her, and if that's the case - then why?

While I do sympathize w Amba, I think her character showed true colors when she manipulated Dev into saying "get on your knees...dont you want to see your sister happy?" This does make me think that while she is layered and isnt out right evil, she also has darker colors that hasnt been truly revealed yet. The laugh after getting Dev to do what she wants was like "if you be with me i will feel this sense of power" so it makes me think does she truly want Dev or the power over Dev as hes such a strong character and refuses to give into her. Dev KNOWS Vidhi would never do such a thing. She made things right and apologized to HP bc it was abt Dev's respect which to her can mean, her respect. But once she finds out Vidhi and Dev both like each other, what she truly does then will be a thing to watch,

Thanks.

@RED

So true. Doesn't this butcher the point of sacrifice? If you announce to the world I did this sacrifice, I did that sacrifice, what's the point of it. I am in no way saying that the "mahaan sacrifices" without any sense of self-worth that are romanticised on TV are correct. But it's one-sided love after all, it was her decision to pursue it, not that she pursued it for someone else, she did it for herself, then how can she put the burden on Dev.

And this is what I wanted to write about what could have made Amba's love work for Dev. If there was an iota of truth and selflessness in her love, Dev would have been drawn towards her, he would have taken notice, it would have touched him because he is so delicate and soft-hearted inside.

@BLACK

Remember any shows where the protagonist fell for a manipulative woman, that would have been Dev's fate. Because at least initially, while you are in love, you tend to ignore the faults of your love. It's only later, one's eyes open and true colours are revealed.

Originally posted by: Anupreeya

Thanks.

@RED

So true. Doesn't this butcher the point of sacrifice? If you announce to the world I did this sacrifice, I did that sacrifice, what's the point of it. I am in no way saying that the "mahaan sacrifices" without any sense of self-worth that are romanticised on TV are correct. But it's one-sided love after all, it was her decision to pursue it, not that she pursued it for someone else, she did it for herself, then how can she put the burden on Dev.

And this is what I wanted to write about what could have made Amba's love work for Dev. If there was an iota of truth and selflessness in her love, Dev would have been drawn towards her, he would have taken notice, it would have touched him because he is so delicate and soft-hearted inside.

@BLACK

Remember any shows where the protagonist fell for a manipulative woman, that would have been Dev's fate. Because at least initially, while you are in love, you tend to ignore the faults of your love. It's only later, one's eyes open and true colours are revealed.

Originally posted by: prs_725

exactly! He does go to any extent for people he finds selfless and knows that mean well for others and him. If he found her honest, he would have been drawn towards her. If not love, then he def would have respected her and been comfortable around her. In the car scene when Vidhis parents take take and Amba comes there, he’s so harsh w her. Granted he thinks she did it .. but even if he had respected her before, he wouldn’t have behaved such a way. That’s just my two cents on him.

Very true! After reading this, I can justify Dev's approach towards her even more.

It's Amba's approach and actions that has made her image like that in Dev's mind.