JuhiR thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1
Hi All,

This is my first attempt. It's not good, not even close to FFs by 'heeyyy'. It would have been better if I wrote the conversation in Hindi, but my Hindi is not good. So here it is. Your comments and suggestions will be appreciated.

OS: Crazy Love

Surya stopped outside Ragini and Aditya's room. He can hear Durga crying. Is there no one to pick up the little girl? He looked around. There was no one. He slowly entered the room, and saw little Durga screaming on the bed, all by herself. Surya picked her up slowly. He started rocking her in his arms, very gently. The baby's cries became muffled. She looked up at Surya and gave a happy smile. Surya slowly walked to the living room with Durga in his arms. He saw Ragini, and said in his quiet style, " She was crying. I did not see anyone around, so I picked her up". Ragini thanked him and took Durga in her arms. Just then, Surya's eyes met Jhanvi's. She was looking at him with pleasant surprise and admiration. Surya felt embarrassed. He looked away.


Dinner was just over, and everybody was sitting in the living room. Chanda continued her ramblings about nothing. Surya excused himself and came to his room. The last few days have been a rough journey for him. He wished he had the power to change things for his family. He stood in front of the mirror in a pensive mood, wrapped in deep thoughts, unbuttoning his shirt.


"Oh, Surya!!" Surya was taken aback and quickly looked up towards the mirror. He saw two slender arms clasping him tightly from behind. He put his own hands gently on those two arms, and slowly turned around. He saw Jhanvi's face close to his heart. Her eyes were dancing with a mischievous smile. He held her face in his hands and said lovingly, "Yes, Jhanvi?".


Jhanvi pulled Surya towards the bed and made him sit down. She sat down next to him and started unbuttoning his shirt. Surya looked amused. She was wearing a white nightdress with pretty purple flowers and white laces on her neck and sleeves. Her hair was loosely tied up at the back. Only a few strands of hair lay carelessly on her forehead. "What's up Jhanvi?" he asked, gently pushing aside the hair on her forehead. "Oh Surya! You looked so cute with Durga in your arms. I just could not take my eyes off you. Really! Oh, you will be such an adorable dad. I just can't wait to see it." Surya blinked. "What? Dad? Heck No!" Jhanvi said, "Oh, why not! You will make a great papa." "Jhanvi, are you mad? You know our situation. And you are thinking about kids? You must be crazy!" Surya said unbelievingly. "Oh, how I would love to see you surrounded by children!", insisted Jhanvi brattishly, tickling Surya on his bare arms and chest. "Children? How many do you want?", Surya almost screamed. "Oh, only four, but three will do too", Jhanvi said naughtily. Surya threw himself on the bed and put his arms under his head. This woman is completely nuts. "Jhanvi stop bothering me. I have no time or patience for kids, okay", he looked away angrily at the wall.


Few moments passed by and Surya felt that Jhanvi was not sitting next to him any more. He sat up and turned to look around. There she is, lying down on a mattress on the floor. "Jhanvi, what's this? Why are you sleeping on the floor?" Surya asked. "From now onwards, I will sleep on the floor, since you don't want kids", replied Jhanvi angrily without looking at him.


Later that night, Jhanvi turned in her sleep when she felt being held tightly by someone's arms. She slowly turned and found Surya sleeping right next to her, on the mattress, holding her in a deep embrace. "Surya, why don't you want to have a baby?" she asked half sleepily. "I do, Jhanvi, especially if she is as lovely-shovely as her mom", said Surya, in his sleep. He then hugged her tightly and kissed her. Jhanvi cuddled in his embrace and said, " Oh, Thank you! I love you sooo much, I really do ".

Edited by JuhiRockz - 13 years ago

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darshana23 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2
Surya the great papa...😳 I loved this thought... But why this is OS yaar?? you should try to pen down something more...👍🏼
JuhiR thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: darshana23

Surya the great papa...😳 I loved this thought... But why this is OS yaar?? you should try to pen down something more...👍🏼


Thanks! Well I am not ready for SS or FF yet. Let me know if you have suggestions about how to improve my writing style. I wish i could write in Hindi😔
tamzin43 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
plz write more juhi 👍🏼 we need more of these here well done 👏👏👏
JuhiR thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5
@ tamzin43 and koolkallu

Thanks for the encouragement. I was thinking of not writing anymore because there were 113 views but no comments 😔

But since you said its not bad, I will try to write something in the weekend. Will try to make it more romantic.😊
tamzin43 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: JuhiRockz

@ tamzin43 and koolkallu


Thanks for the encouragement. I was thinking of not writing anymore because there were 113 views but no comments 😔

But since you said its not bad, I will try to write something in the weekend. Will try to make it more romantic.😊



few is better than many... we luv you keep going i,m hungry for more 👏👏
👏
JuhiR thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: tamzin43


Sure, will do. Thanks for the support 😃

vrashali10 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8
😛superb os juhi. realy u r a good writer. i wish cvs read this os and give them such scenes.😛
Edited by vrashali10 - 13 years ago
JuhiR thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: vrashali10

😛superb os juhi. realy u r a good writer. i wish cvs read this os and give them such scenes.😛


Hey, many thanks! I am not good, but more practice will perhaps make me a better writer.

Okay, I have another idea. Will pen it down in the weekend.

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