Why a gal always have to change her surname ?

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TitanFan

@TitansFan

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

Hey ,

Sorry been little lazy and busy in opening this topic , i so wanted to know wat others feel over this issue,.....

IMV tells Baa that he had complitely changed identity of Devki , , by changing her surname .....

Now comes my big q , why is that a gal has to change her surname after wedding , and worst part is no one asks her ....I rem this other shw which i wont name , the couple were so much in love , but had to bare a lot to come together and on wedding mandap when he puts sindoor he says cong Mrs ... so and so along with his Surname , at that time we had this discussion on that forum too .....

My Sis ka love marriage and she did not change her surname , and no one questions tat , why no one asks a gal , i just made a passing comment recently i wont change my surname if i get married and had to take lot of bashan from my elder sis and mom , why is that we arent allowed to have own identiy ??

does my post makes sense ?? if so , do drop ur side 😳

Love

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Frequent Posters

Pad

@pad_420

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

well i don't think there is anything wrong in changing the surname. You feel included in the new family, and on the same time when sum1 calls u mrs + surname of ur husband, it kinda gives u status ... and it also sounds very formal.

But ofcourse, every girl should have the right to decide whether she wants to change her surname or not. No one from her family and in-laws should force her to do that.

Edited by pad_420 - 14 years ago

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Burns n Trolls

@shahsb_26

Stunner

+ 9

Posted: 14 years ago

Well in this show his father will be also taking advantage of the fact she has changed her surname... though thats sad.... but nothing can be done for her as well now...

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charu

@cjs369

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

its basically something that has been passed on thru generations... in olden days women were never considered important enough and hence were not given any status of their own ... they were first know as someone's daughter and later as soneone's wife.... this pattern has continued thru ages...due to which till date a woman takes her husband's name and surname after marriage ... it also gets her into the family ...

but today's world things have changed many women prefer to keep their original surname ... and some keep both surnames ... even children take their mother's name as surname etc....

I know in south India there are some Matriarical societies its an age old custom, where children take their mother's surname only..... different customes are prevalent ...

when I got married my hubby gave me the option to retain my original surname ... but I being in love wanted his name attached to mine😳 ... so added his name next to mine as a complete name ...

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TitanFan

@TitansFan

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

I understand every ones POV, yes its more like attaching to boys family ,.. but how many gals want that dil sae , ?? some want to be connected with family names naa......

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ruchira maitra

@ruchira23

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

hmmm i can understand your feelings jaya bt these days mostly girls apply their inlaws surname after their full name including their original surname for e.g devki shekhiya virani which actually not change their name bt added a last name as an after marriage identity

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Chinchinchoo

@Prinsesse.Suvi

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

its something that has been going on for ages..I guess there is still the option for keeping ur surname..its about your choice...and if some families don't allow, then its that specific family that is stuck to tradition, no?..I guess there is an ancient thing about (how someone above said) women first belongs to her father, then after marriage, her husband...

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khamosshhh

@khamosshhh

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

Gud post!👍🏼

Again in India it is more prevelant than the west.

Initially after my marraige I continued 2 use my maiden name, but just as u get used 2 staying in a new environment (for a girl after marraige) and then that becomes more ur home thn ur mykaa, the same thing happened with me regarding my surname. Also I think it's coz of children, it wuld be a different surname for mom and dad nd too confusing.

BTW again I think it's a professional thing too. One of my friends who is a professor and is still pursuing academics continues using her maiden name.

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veil_of_roses

@veil_of_roses

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

@jaya good post...abt IMV i can say he is fulfilling his wish he cudnt get chandraprabha his love n she became chandraprabha shah... bt after getting vaibhav married to devki(chandra's daughter) devki shah is devki virani...in a way fulfilling his own wish.

abt changing surname well it depends i havent changed my surname after wedding n many of my frnds havent for academic/professional purpose...i dont wanna change my surname as i dont have brother n keeping my surname wud give a msg gals can carry family's name...my POV

i dont mind ppl calling me mrs. so n so bt yes on my passport on certificates n professionally i use my maiden name...

bt yes ppl do expect from a gal to change surname...its a tradition, some consider it love, some say u are accepting new family...etc etc...