part 13 page 95
P A R T 14
Samrat had nt slept that night and his eyes were swollen. He had gone from shock to denial to sadness to anger and once again shock. He cudnt accept the truth. All night long, he wished for just one thing, what he came to know was not true and it was just a nightmare. He thought about Gunjan. How wud she be? How wud she be dealing with all this?
The next day he met her. She was back to herself, smiling and was not as depressed as him bcos she has been dealing with this since long, although he thought there was a time she passed thru the phase he is going thru right now. He came to realize that he never knew Gunjan when she was healthy, at all. It had been only few months they met. And only few weeks he fell in love with her. Those few weeks seemed like an entire life to him, but now, when he looked at her, all he cud do was wonder how many more days he cud spend with her.
Monday, they had their college and Samrat knew she wud not be coming. Though she requested him to let her go but he refused and asked her to take rest. But separation made things worse. Samrat cudnt concentrate in his classes, all his attention thinking how she wud be. Soon after the break he left the college and went to her. But he did not find her at home. She had left a note for him, though. It said that she is at the orphanage. He, at once left for the orphanage.
He walked thru the corridor and recalled the Christmas eve when he came to the orphanage first time ever bcos Gunjan had invited him. He almost cried remembering the eve. How cud time fly so easily? It was just some days back when he was here and he realized his love for Gunjan and today his world has almost turned upside down. It was almost becoming unacceptable and difficult for him to believe the truth. He wiped out his tears as soon as he reached the main hall. His tears turned to smile as he saw Gunjan so happy while playing with the orphans whom she called her family.
Gunjan saw him with a smile as always, and he reached to her. He leaned to kiss and so she kissed him back, though it made him want to cry. Even looking at her, made him want to cry now.
"Thank you." she said. "I enjoyed being with them over here today."
"You dont have to thank me. I didnt do anything." he said.
"Had you allowed me to go to college i wud have not been able to see them." she replied. "I want to spend as much time with them as I can."
Before she dies, was what she meant to say but she didnt and he understood. Samrat cud not respond to it. The only way according to her was to live the life to the fullest now. And Samrat wanted to help her in whatever way he could.
That night he went to bed thinking about her. He recalled the day he passed with her at the orphanage and then all of a sudden once again recalled the Christmas Eve and the present Gunjan had given him on the Christmas Eve. He at once stood up to go and see the Bible after a long time. He took the Bible in his hands which were still not ready to hold them. He cleaned the top of the Bible. There was a prayer room at his house. Until today it was only his mom, who ever entered in the room, but today Samrat took the initiative to go over there. He sat in one corner facing the window to see the sky and opened the Bible with all the emotions filled in his eyes and all the hope that one cud have from God. He looked up at the sky and read the first verse he found on the opened page:
I cry to you, my Lord!
Do not be deaf to me, for if you are silent, I shall go down in the pit like the rest.
Hear my voice raised in petition as I cry to you for help, as I raise my hands, my Lord.
He closed the bible, unable to read more and the small tear drops bursted into cry. He started crying loudly, slowly asking God to give him his life back.
His mom came looking for him and consoled him. "I know this is hard for you, but there is nothing you can do." she murmured.
"It's hard for me to even talk to her." he said numbly. "All i can do is think about the day when i wont be able to see her anymore. I try to be at college or somewhere else, but even then i cannot help myself, i hate leaving her alone at home and when i go to her i dont know what to say." he was still numb.
"Listen to your heart, son... carefully....listen to it.... do what ur heart says." she said him cupping his face and he hugged her with tears.
The month of January had been the most difficult month in Samrat's life and he knew that February wud be even worse. By the end of January Gunjan had lost even more weight. There were drastic skin changes on her face and bruises on her hands and face. With each passing day the cold was getting difficult for her to bear. But still for Samrat she was the most beautiful person.
"How are you doing?" Samrat asked her a couple of days later.
"I am doing ok," she smiled. "Doctors have given me some more medicines for the pain and it helps." she said. Just like before once again Samrat wonder looking what a person Gunjan was. He wondered that God has given him the most precious gift on the earth. Gunjan, even in such a condition looks healthier than him and so much happier and satisfied with God. She definitely has no complaints. For sometime there was silence in the room. Samrat didnt knew what to say to her. He looked around the room, "Shud i get something for you?" he asked.
"No i m fine." She replied. Once again they were quiet. It looked as if the first day they met came again but as totally different people. Samrat once again glanced at the room and his eyes noticed the picture of Jesus Christ. "I .. I prayed for you..." he said.
"Did u ?" she smiled. "thanks."
"I prayed while reading the Bible you gave me." he finally said.
"You did? you read the Bible?" her face lit up and Samrat was glad to have given her a small happiness by saying this much.
"Did u read the chapter on Faith?" she asked.
"Umm... no....i have just started." he replied...shrugging his shoulders.
"Then i wud want you to read it." she said.
"Why so?" he asked.
"Because the chapter helps us to learn to keep faith even at our hard times, at times when we are being tested." she spoke with a soft smile.
"Is this why u havent lost your faith in God?" he finally got something to ask her. Gunjan knew what he meant. She looked deeper in his eyes, her face almost beginning to change its colour, but she comes back. "No, because it is the only thing I have left." she blinks her eyes and tries to make the tears go away. Samrat perfectly understood her. He slowly came closer to her, cupped her face in his hands and hugged her. Though, since last few days there had been a lot of communication gap between them, things were not same....but their feelings were still the same. They completely understood each other. It was not easy for Samrat to see Gunjan like this and neither was it easy for Gunjan to leave Samrat. He hugged to to let her know that he is still there for her.
Samrat spend the entire day and night at Gunjan's place. They both read the Chapter of Faith together and everything started to get better between them again. Now, even Samrat along with Gunjan started learning and realizing, how he can survive in such a phase of life and make it better to live for both of them.
In early February, Gunjan's medicines increased even more inorder to lower the pain she was feeling. The higher dosage started making her dizzy and she fainted one after the other twice, same week and reluctantly the doctors had to lower the dosage. Gunjan was able to walk but it was getting difficult for her to do small tasks. Her entire body wud pain. Samrat asked the explanation from the doctor and they said that "Leukemia is the disease of the blood, which runs throughout a person's body. There is no escape from it."
Gradually it became difficult for her to walk as well. She cud only do it if it was for short distance and if she cud bear the pain. But that became difficult as well, later. She had to increase her medicines and accept getting dizzy bcos she no longer cud take the pain.
Therefore she definitely needed someone's help and Samrat decided that now onwards he will be living at Gunjan's place. There was no other way out. Day and night he spend with Gunjan, talking with each other about their past and trying to know each other even more, reading Bible, and loving each other. They were with each other and that is all they wanted. Even Samrat started missing few of his lectures. And slowly the news spread to the college about Gunjan's illness.
Sooner Gunjan's visits to hospitals became much more than earlier. Though she told the doctor and Samrat that she wants to stay home and die. She wants to stay where she lived her life, where she can see her parents, where she can feel better. But days were not away when one fine morning, all of a sudden her health became more serious as the disease progressed. She fainted once again and Samrat had to take her to the hospital. She was unconscious with the oxygen mask on and Samrat sat exactly beside her with her hands in his, wanting to cry. Samrats mother talked to the doctors who said that there was no use of chemotherapy as the disease had progressed and chemotherapy will make things only worse.
Later that day, when Gunjan regained consciousness, she started having heavy bouts of cold and was shivering heavily. Samrat tried to cover her up with the blanket but that did not make any change. She turned herself and dig face into the bed but nothing seemed to help her. She kept murmuring words "ahh..." "hahhh" anything that didn't make sense but becos she cudnt bear the cold. She was crying at the same time, and looking at her Samrat was confused and helpless. He tried to call the doctor. The doctors gave her the medicine so that she cud go to sleep. She was suffering from high fever. While the doctors took care of her, Samrat stood there behind, unable to do anything, feeling ashamed of himself, with only tears in his eyes.
Later when Gunjan went to sleep, he sat on the couch looking at her when he saw Gunjan's diary. He looked at her once again, picked the diary up and opened it once again. He went to read the page he stopped the other night after freshers party. He was once again shocked to read what Gunjan had written.
Dear Diary,
Doctors told me that I have leukemia. And my life is only for 8-12 months. I should smile and make my life better and worth living. I don't have anyone else to share my pain, hope I can come back to you and share it once again.
Samrat cudnt read it further. He closed the diary. He understood why Gunjan was so nervous the night he told her that he had read her diary. But he had a question to God, the same God Gunjan had taught him to believe in. Why didn't he come to know about Gunjan's illness earlier and only after he loved? But he soon got his answer. Maybe bcos if he knew it earlier, he wud have not been like he is now, neither wud he be able to feel Gunjan's pain like he can now.
He also read few letters and cards that the orphans from the orphanage had sent to Gunjan saying "Please get well Soon". He tried to wipe away his tears. And made a silent prayer to God looking up towards the sky. He went near Gunjan's bed and slightly kissed on her forehead as she slept.
The doctors told Samrat that Gunjan wud have to live at the hospital for few days. Gunjan was not ready for the same, but Samrat promised her that he will definitely take her to home and Gunjan ofcourse had faith in him.
Gunjan's disease progressed further and no more they cud read the bible together but Samrat cud and Gunjan loved listening to it. Gunjan wud rest on the bed and Samrat wud read to her beautiful chapters in the Bible. While reading they wud look at each other sometimes and just speak with their eyes. Hugs, kiss, smile and say how they both mean to each other.
It was 14th February, Valentine's Day, next day but something more special. That night Samrat's mom told him to rest at home a little. The next day when Samrat arrived to the hospital, Gunjan was sleeping. He waited for her to wake up.
"Good morning Gunjan." He came closer with a red rose in his hand, as she woke up. "Love you sweets, Happy Valentines Day and Happy Birthday." He leaned forward and kissed on her forehead.
"Happy Valentines Day to you to" she smiled and said, though her voice cracked a little and looked tired.
"Look who are here to meet you." He turned aside. The room was filled with bouquets and Ashwini, RV, Sheena and Neil had been there to give their best wishes to Gunjan for the year ahead.
Samrat went behind to give space for others to meet her. As Ashwini and others came forward, Samrat smiled a little just becos he saw Gunjan happy. Then he went out of the room. RV saw him going out. He excused others and went behind him. Neil followed him. Samrat just looked at one place thinking about something.
"What are you thinking buddy, speak something... we are your friends...ur brothers...wont you say anything to us?" Neil said.
"What shud I say?" he said still looking at the same place.
"Speak to us about urself mate, speak to us about Gunjan.... we are sorry for the past, we cudnt understand." RV tried to make things better.
"Gunjan..." he looked at them with his eyes brim "shes the most wonderful person I have ever met and now... now..." he cudnt go on.
"Now what ..." RV asked.
"And now I don't want to lose her." He finally started crying. And obviously RV had to hug him. RV understood his emotions totally. Even Neil tried to calm him down. All the emotions that Samrat had been hiding since long came out when he saw his friends and he cried for a long time. Neither RV nor Neil stopped him.
Later that day Gunjan told about her favourite quote from the Bible about Love since it was Valentine's Day:
Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sin, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.
Samrat told her that she was the true essence of this quote but Gunjan corrected him saying that such a love is deserved by only God. One shud love God the way one loves no one.
"Ok lets cut the cake."Samrat smiled. Gunjan blew the candle and they both cut the cake together for Gunjan's birthday as well the day to love. Then Samrat took a piece and put it in Gunjan mouth and the cream on her nose. And she laughed doing the same and they hugged.
Three days later, Samrat had been to college while his mom took care of her. But soon he took off and came to visit her with the surprise. The day was when Gunjan forgot all her pain, sorrow and Samrat gave him the best gift of all. Samrat came with a laptop to show something to her. He had taken video of his friends; Ashwini, RV, Sheena and Neil.
All of them appeared in the video asking Gunjan to get well soon. And Gunjan smiled at it. Samrat smiled along her smile.
In the afternoon, they both sat to have the lunch. Samrat didn't allow Gunjan to eat by herself. He made small bites and put it in her mouth.
"You know Gunjan, I have finally got my Pari..my angel." He said.
Gunjan smiled, "I feel that in true life it is you who are my angel." She said looking into his eyes as he looked them deeper into her. He came closer since he cud not control his emotions and hugged her. "Your angel won't let you happen anything Gunjan, nothing! I promise." Gunjan hugged him tighly as well with slight tears rolling down her cheeks but yet with a smile.
The same evening she looked out of the window, sitting on her bed, to adore the nature once again and Samrat stood beside her. Samrat kept on adoring her beauty while she adored the beauty of nature. He smiled all the time looking at him but praying to God to just give her back to him. That was all he cud do for them, for their love.
"Gunjan?" he said
"Hmm'" she asked. She looked at his hands forward.
"Dance with me?" he asked her.
"Dance?" she made an expression since she cud not.
Samrat ofcourse knew it, but he came closer, picked her up from her waist and made her feet stamp on his. "Just look into my eyes." He said and she did. His one hand holding her waist and other her palm and as he moved his legs, hers moved along with it. They danced to the tune of their love. Their love was filled with emotions which were filled with joy as well as cry. They didn't knew if they shud feel sad bcos they might lose each other soon or feel happy bcos they r together with each other.
After sometime Gunjan started feeling tired, therefore Samrat had to stop. He picked her in his arms and lied her on the bed and gave her a glass of water. While she drank he looked at her still smiling. But suddenly his smile faded away.
"What happened Samrat?" she asked "Why are u so quiet?"
"Gunjan..." he didn't knew if he shud say. But he thought that was the most perfect thing he cud do. "Gunjan, I Love you... do you know that?" he said softly.
"Yes I know." She said. "I love you too." Samrat smiled as he said those words with being afraid this time. But once again Samrat was quiet. His throat started drying up. But once again he thought that he wanted to give all what Gunjan wanted, her happiness and whatever she deserved. He smiled a little, and she came forward, reached for his hands. "Tell me what it is?" she said smiling. Samrat looked at her for once and took a big sigh as he let out those words. "Gunjan, will you marry me?"
There was sheer silence in the room when Samrat said those words to Gunjan. Gunjan looked into his eyes, with a mix of shock and surprise and all of a sudden she smiled nodding her head with a yes. She came forward and so did Samrat, they both clashed each others forehead and cried for a long time together. They smiled, hugged and kissed while crying but it went on for a long time.
************
NOTES: i know this update was really long. so guys next update is SaJan's wedding.. watch out... 😃😳 and one more thing.. this update includes some reality as well..
please leave ur precious comments and dont forget to press LIKE 😳..
part 15 page108
*******************
okay and i made few signatures in last few days, if u guys get time pls check at these links. since i m making sigs n avis everyday so i m not posting them over here directly. :))
morena sig > http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1509949&PID=35021481�
mohit spiderman avi > http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1509949&PID=35107320�
mayur (second confsn, pbm, date ann) > http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1509949&PID=35211631�
sajan intro promo/title track avis > http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1509949&PID=35251670�
Edited by talkativetaurus - 14 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
