I will put my WARNING here and say once again to whomever is reading; this piece of fiction (Part Four in its entirety) contains very very adult language including sexually explicit words and situations as well as profanity in keeping within the context of this work. Please do NOT read from here on if you do not want to read this kind of material, it is for adults only and for those who don't mind adult content.
I as usual have no clue of this will get me temporarily banned, but if it does, please just PM me and I will email you the FF directly 😉
Enjoy and of course as always, feedback is always welcome 😊
PART FOUR - C - Please read Part Four - B - before continuing on
Almost an hour later he found himself turning off the engine of his motorbike under the outside lamp, the bright bulb flooding a small pool of light outside of Shanti Sadan as he heard the quiet clatter of plates and voices emanating out of the house. They had already been sat at the table as Riya was no doubt tucked away in her corner waiting for the rest of them to finish, like she was some kind of animal who got to eat last. It revolted him. Even on the occasions he had been forced to sit with the rest of his family, he hadn't been able to eat, simply playing with his food as he pushed it about his plate before excusing himself. He was certain his mother noticed but she had never given in and called Riya to the table; it would have been preposterous to even expect such a thing even if his mother had wanted Riya at the table, afterall dadi was the only soul who was everyone's personal puppeteer. And so tonight of all nights he kept his eyes cast down, not daring to look at Riya in her usual corner before he completely crumbled and told his entire family to go f**k themselves before seating her pretty behind on his motorcycle and riding far far away. "Shivam...beta come and sit. Dinner is ready..." he looked at his mother's concerned face as though every trace of their earlier altercation had vanished and possibly hadn't existed to begin with; as if she had hadn't ripped Riya apart right infront of him only hours ago. His entire being itched to turn around and seek her eyes out and so to distract himself he shrugged the form fitting jacket off of his shoulders, the chestnut brown leather now too warm in the claustrophobic environment as he felt everyone's eyes on him. Even as he did so he noticed Chanda walking out of the kitchen from the corner of his eye, her own eyes moving down his body making him feel uncomfortable at her fleeting if obvious attention to him. If he had noticed, he was sure Riya had too and so he decided to make himself scarce before dadi forced him to sit next to the woman yet again. His muscled arms felt suddenly bare in the chilly air that blew in through the front door and he tugged at his fitted dark red t-shirt distractedly. He couldn't even be bothered to see who and who wasn't sat at the table, sure that his dad was absent for the fifth time this week anyway. Shivam shook his head, simply wanting to be alone with his thoughts as his head continued to pound incessantly; he could make his protein shake later when the whole house had gone to sleep. "No Ma... I already picked up a snack on the way and I'm too tired to eat a full meal... I think I'll just turn in for the night" he heard her mumble her acquiescence before making his way back up the stairs and to his room. I need some painkillers before my damned head explodes... he thought to himself in exhaustion as he made his way to the adjoining washroom after locking his bedroom door behind him.
It all seemed to happen in slow motion; his opening the door, her letting out a mortified scream, him holding his breath as if taking another would have destroyed what surely was his every waking and subconscious fantasy come true in all its glory before him. He stood immobilised, every plane of hard and chiselled muscle from the corded strength of his neck to the rippling six pack over his abdomen, all the way down to his toes and every muscle in between honed and magnetised to the woman stood before him. Not just his wife... his naked wife, his almost naked wife. "Shivam!! Sh-shivam turn around!..." he stood dumbly, his lips slightly parted as her words failed to register. His hungry eyes couldn't stop roaming over every inch of her exposed flesh, her perfectly satin smooth caramel skin going on for miles as she cowered from him in nothing but the prettiest underwear he could have imagined her in. His heart thudded, his blood sloshed in some haphazard rhythm through his veins as he drank every inch of her in... his entire body already preparing itself to slam into her and devour her whole even if his brain felt like it had shut down. "Shivam! Will you TURN around! Now!" her shaky and high pitched voice snapped him out of whatever immobilised daze she had sent him to, his body automatically following her orders as he twisted at his waist and turned his face away. Holy f**k. Holy... f**k. He breathed tremulously, closing his eyes as the memory of her utterly incredible body made his mouth water and damned cock come roaring to life like it was the f**king fourth of July in America and there were damned fireworks below his belt. It was then as he breathed in the memory of her body that he faltered, a frown marring over his otherwise handsome features. Wait a minute... was she... was she hurt? Without even thinking about it or giving a f**k for propriety he whirled back around, already stalking towards her and bridging the short distance between them. He looked at her face more closely this time, noting the pain etched over her mortified face as she trembled infront of him just shy of a foot shorter than him. She held her bunched up sari to her heaving chest, the garish and violent pink splash peeking over the skin of her shoulder that he had been sure was spread further down. "Shivam..." she almost sobbed at what he knew was a severe look on his face; he couldn't help the strain on his face as he was battered with arousal and concern that something wasn't right here. "Please... please don't look at me... I... please will you just go?!" She pleaded with him, one tear rolling down her cheek as she looked up at him; her incredibly beautiful eyes like orbs and the gentle flush of her embarrassment spreading from her cheeks and down her neck until his eyes found the too pink skin by her shoulder. He wasn't f**king turning around let alone leaving her. His heart thudded in his chest almost afraid to find out what lay beneath the crumpled sari against her upper body, her gorgeous thighs peeking out of the material even as she clenched them together infront of him. He swallowed, hard. "Riya... tell me what's wrong... what happened to your shoulder?" he asked her calmly even though his voice had turned to gravel and shale as he forcefully fixed his eyes over her own, afraid of where they would wander without disciplining himself. She's hurt... focus asshole and find out what happened. He mentally flogged himself out of his arousal, now too concerned at the pain over her face, not to mention her pink rimmed eyes as though she had been crying for days on end. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it had been his doing yet again; her eyes hadn't looked like that when he had left earlier and between then and now she had hurt so badly that this was the result. He clenched his jaw as the tears started to well in his own eyes, grinding the muscles of his jaw hard enough that it hurt and fought the overwhelming hurt back to where it belonged in the pit of his heart. "Riya, answer me. What happened?" he stressed again, now quickly losing patience as she simply shook her head from side to side at him. "Please just go... I'll put my clothes back on and-" Shivam shook his head just once, his voice level and no nonsense once more as he took control of the situation. "No. I'm not going anywhere and Im not looking away. Let me see" he watched as her eyes widened, her mouth pouting in the most irresistible and adorable "o" in her obvious shock before she backed away one step, "No I wont... go away" Her voice was soft, pleading once again and yet he took a step of his own towards her as he noticed the slight panic in her eyes. He couldn't help his voice coming out deeper and lower all at the same time; he didn't have time to f**k around, if she had hurt herself he needed to take care of it whether she damn well liked it or not, "I said let me see. I wasn't asking you, Riya" Shivam changed his tactics for a moment allowing his features to soften for just a while, "Does it hurt badly?" He hadn't missed the way her shoulder had flinched at his words, only confirming all too well how much pain she was in. For f**k sake Riya... he silently railed at her and her stubbornness, he was her f**king husband; she didn't need to hide from him like he was some kind of ogre. She shook her head as another pretty tear dropped from her eyes, the pink stain around them only making his heart stutter in its need to hold her in his arms. He ground his next words as his patience continued to wane dangerously, "So why the hell are you crying? Either you're in pain or I'm frightening you. Am I frightening you?" he asked, a part of him terrified that she would admit to the latter; if she was scared of him he would leave her alone before she could even take her next breath. He would never frighten her on purpose; he would rather gouge out his own f**king eyes. When she simply looked at him in silence he knew her answer; she wasn't scared... she just didn't want him to see her like this... like a f**king sex goddess in her lacy panties and that f**king bra that he could have sworn he had been able to see through. What the holy f**k was that anyway? I didn't even know she wore stuff like that... He shook his head as his breath continued to tremble out, the perfectly cut muscles in his core already tumbling over themselves in his male need to touch her. To scent her and mark her as his. However, he was a man before a damned animal in heat; he needed to see to her injuries and treat the pain before he allowed himself to fully enjoy just looking at her, at his woman. "Baby... if you don't let me treat it your skin will blister and it will hurt a hundred times more than it is now" he noted the way she gently gasped at the intimate word he had used even if it had felt completely natural to him; she was his baby, his life. He might have been acting like a complete f**king bas***d but it was a damned act; he would rather kill himself than let her suffer in physical pain like this. She took another cautious step back, no doubt seeing his features harden even more at his own angry thoughts at himself, "Shivam... I'm fine... I-I don't need...you" her words had may as well have been a knife, slicing slowly through his jugular as her voice trailed off. It had been his own f**king fault for pushing her so far away that she didn't think she could approach him even for this. Shivam snapped, unable to play this game or whatever the f**k it was with her for a moment longer. He took a larger step toward her as his entire body prickled with the increased proximity of her heat and scent, "Riya! I'm not f**king playing around! Let me see your skin. Now" her chest heaved as he gave up on waiting for her, her loose and long silky hair tousled and shifting around her bare shoulders as he closed the final steps to her trembling form as he looked directly down at her. He was so close he could feel her breath on his hypersensitive skin, his body only inches away from her's clad in nothing but a pair of panties and her bra. Never taking his eyes off of her own, he lifted his arm and wrapped his hand around the bunched up material in her hands. He swallowed the heat in his throat and shifted his eyes over hers, dropping to her mouth as she chewed hard on her lip out of nervousness. Shivam tugged on the material, her grip on it loosening for just a moment before she pulled back against her skin; the movement had caused her to whimper in pain as it grazed against her raw skin and it was then that his patience had completely run out. He firmly yanked the sari out of her small hands before hurling it irreverently to the other end of the washroom as her face blushed a deeper shade of pink; he moved closer to her, now doing his damned job as her husband and assessing the painfully pink skin over her shoulder and reaching to just above her right breast. He swallowed and grimaced at the same time at the burns he was seeing, his right hand instinctively raising to the left side of her face and cupping her jaw and cheek. His eyes were glued to her already blistering skin as he unknowingly caressed the softness of her cheek in his need to soothe her, to make her feel safe and protected. He hadn't even realised the tears in his eyes had pooled as he stared at how badly she was hurt. Why the f**k wasn't anyone here helping her! Where the f**king hell had his mother been when this happened?! She'd been alone... He closed his eyes for a moment as he gathered himself back together, looking back into the softness of her own eyes as her tears fell like drops of light onto her skin and over his own palm. He shouldn't be getting close to her... he shouldn't mess with her emotions again. Just take care of her... I need to take care of her, that's all... he silently accepted it as fact knowing wild horses couldn't stop him at this point in time. As long as she was in pain his dick had deflated, his heart needing desperately to look after her before allowing himself any other luxury. "Just wait here... alright? I'm going to get the burn ointment and some pain killers... it's in the other draw in the bedroom" he looked back and forth in her eyes for a moment before retreating into the other room, rummaging around for what he needed as fast as was humanly possibly and before she made a run for it. Even if she did he would have happily swung her over his shoulder, bare ass naked if need be and dragged her back into their room. When he walked back in he locked the door behind him noting the look of surprise on her face, "In case someone walks in... don't worry, I'm not going to tear the rest of your clothes off" he swallowed, "at least not when you're in pain" he hadn't been able to not speak the erotic insinuation, loving the way she squirmed at his meaning even if she was too shy to shout at him or scold him. He missed the way she used to punch him in the arm; his teasing and suggestive words bringing a gorgeous blush to her cheeks before she gave him a solid whack over his bicep, the feeling only serving to harden his cock and make him want to pin her beneath his body. He had been craving and yearning to be close to her since the balcony incident, but not in his wildest imaginings would he have predicted this. Even if she was hurt, he wasn't f**king blind... he would treat her injuries and make sure the pain subsided but the sight of her like this would be his torture device in the coming hours and days. She trembled again, her arms rising up until she covered her beautiful breasts. Shivam lifted his own arms, the biceps under the edge of his t-shirt bunching in the movement; not taking his eyes off her own, he wrapped his hands gently around her wrists and slowly pulled them down. "You're beautiful... don't ever feel ashamed... especially infront of me..." he swallowed again after he whispered the words in the air between them, not trusting himself to not caress her skin and needing her to know that she was a goddess; even if he wouldn't allow himself to have her. Her eyes looked back at him before dropping again, her adorable shyness and embarrassment taking over as he thought of things he could be doing to her that would soon banish that timidness.
He bunched his eyebrows together for a moment as he looked at her, wishing with every particle of his being that he could wrap his arms around her waist and caress her soothingly, "This is going to hurt, sweetheart... but I need to put this cream on or your skin will blister... just squeeze my arm as hard as you need if its too much, ok?" his concern and worry overtook every other emotion in him, knowing that the moment his fingers touched her skin she would relive the burn as though it had just happened. His own hands trembled as he lifted the cream on his fingers to her raw skin; she hissed in the agony through her mouth as he continued to massage the emollient in as gently and softly as he could. "Sh-shivam... it hurts" she spoke through her tears as she softly sobbed out the pain, clamping her hand over his other arm and leaning further into him for support. He didn't stop, needing to get it over and done with for her sake more than anything, "I know baby... just a little more and then it's done, I promise" he couldn't help calling her that again. She was in agony and vulnerable and hurting from the inside out and he loved her for f**k sake. He couldn't bare to see her suffering like this as she trembled against him, needing him to look after her even if she had shunned him away and told him to leave her alone. Like f**king hell would I ever leave you alone in this state... he thought vehemently, his fingers barely touching the skin over the swell of her breasts as she dug her short nails into him, seeking whatever outlet she could for her pain. He hadn't imagined that this was how his first time touching her so intimately would have gone... and yet he was still thankful that it was he who was taking care of her... that he had found her when he did or she would have suffered alone and silently. Just the thought of it angered him and his renewed hatred for himself flooded his face in harshness knowing that if he had never found her she would have never asked for his help. She must have noticed because she pulled back, thinking he was angry at her. "I-its ok Shivam... you can stop... I'll go" still she held her other arm over her breasts, unable to relax infront of him and was it truly any wonder after the way he had played with her emotions like it had been a game of football and her heart had been the ball? Shivam only shook his head at her, his scowl still present and his voice harsher and more gravelly as his possessiveness took over, "I'm not angry at you, Riya..." he didn't give her any further explanation, his words insinuating that he was angry at someone else entirely as he continued to cover her skin in another layer of the soothing cream. When he finally covered every inch of her burns, he washed his hands and held out the two white tablets he had brought with him and a glass of water to her. "Take these pain killers... they're pretty strong and they'll numb the pain through the night and then you can take them again in the morning" however; when she shook her head he felt his anger start to bubble again, "I don't need them... I'll be fine Shivam" she looked up at him with her large brown eyes already melting his heart even if he wasn't going to let her walk out without taking them. "Riya take the damned tablets, alright? That pain you're feeling is going to get worse and unless you want me to call the doctor to get you to take those same pain killers then I suggest you shut your pretty mouth for once and just swallow the tablets" he could feel his own exhaustion pinch the back of his eyes as his patience and politeness wavered; if she wouldn't listen to him then he would have to scold her like a wayward child. If it got her to look after herself then he had been left with little other choice.
After she scowled back to him at his grouchy and moody words and having swallowed both tablets with half a glass of water, he backed away from her warmth as his body immediately craved her closeness to him. Without even a hint of a smile he kept his features level and spoke succinctly, his feet still backing away from her as he walked backwards, "Now I'll go..." He inwardly smiled, his face still serious as she picked up the sari he had thrown to the side, his eyes gravitating to her movements as she bent forward still trying to conceal herself from him with the now tatty cloth. She's so f**king beautiful... he shivered inwardly and waited for her to call him back, knowing she would call him back. "But Shivam... I don't have any clothes, this... this sari is soaking wet and covered in milk..." he let her trail off as he raised an eyebrow at her sardonically, shrugging his shoulders once and levelling his gaze as he continued to back away from her even as she took a step toward him. "You told me to leave you alone... several times... so now I'm leave you alone sweetheart" he stressed the last word, his body already humming in his need to stalk straight back to her, to wrap his arms from behind her waist and weld his lips to hers as he pressed the length of his body into her back, his hands bringing her head around to his until he had her exactly where he wanted her. It would be the only way he could press himself into her and kiss her and not hurt her chest. Instead Shivam narrowed his eyes at her, just enough to show her that he was serious before he fully turned around forcing himself further away from her. When he heard her next words he froze solid, "Please... please don't leave me like this baby!" she had almost sobbed the last word out in her desperation; she had never called him that and yet when he slowly turned to look back her she had already clamped her hand over her mouth, the embarrassment of what she had said out loud much too late to be held back by those pretty hands of hers. Shivam slowly walked back into the washroom, merely staring at her and clenching the hard muscles in his jaw as he did so, his lower abdominals contracting painfully out of pure male need. He was this f**king close to tearing that damned sari to shreds, carrying her to their bed and slipping in with her until she was laying on top of him. It was the only way he would get any damned peace after the endless tortuous months of having given her up, as if he had been some kind of f**king saint or monk relinquishing the only pleasure life had given him; her. She had no f**king clue how close he was to losing it and turning into some damned caveman to feast on her and now of all things she had called him that? It undid him. Unable to speak for fear of just how deep his voice would sound as his throat contracted in on itself, he simply stared at her still shocked face and walked back out, across the bedroom and out of the door into the landing.
*
What do I do now god? I'm naked and in his washroom and...and I called him... that. She closed her eyes, the fine tremor flowing up and down her body only reminding her of the effect he had had on her. When she had seen him suddenly walk in on her, the shock had been worse than the stupid milk burning her... as if the supercharged heat in his eyes had branded her permanently. She was humiliated... mortified that he found her so close to being naked, in disarray with her hair all about her shoulders, sticking out at odd angles and clutching at a filthy sari that she herself had wanted to rip to shreds and burn on a bonfire. She felt stupid, ugly... and a complete mess compared to how amazing he had looked. Even now as she remembered him from just moments ago her belly ached at the mere sight of him. The deep red t-shirt hugged him like a second skin, highlighting each perfectly contoured muscle in his chest and arms... his black jeans hanging low and suggestively over his lean hips as he had stalked up to her like some kind of predator in the wild. The fearsome and dark look in his chocolate brown eyes had done things enough to melt her insides, let alone the way his beautifully sculpted body moved in her direction. Even with the small gap between them she could feel the waves of heat rolling off his body; his metabolism had surely been through the roof if the miles of muscles over his body was anything to go by. He had changed himself slowly and gradually over the months, honing and defining each muscle group until just the sight of his broad shoulders and the hint of his cut abs underneath his t-shirts were enough to send her mind to the gutter. Except this time her body had been completely confused, unsure if she wanted to cry from the painful burning over her chest or if she had wanted to rub herself all over him like a puppy, his puppy. Not to mention that she had also wanted to run as far as she could and away from him; she had felt exposed, stupid and embarrassed as his eyes freely moved over her as though he had already laid claim to her even though he had shunned her only hours ago. The pain-killers had already started to take effect and she was grateful that he had forced her to take them even if she had wanted to smack him over the head for being so brutish about it. Her head was starting to feel light and floaty and for the first time in what felt like an eternity she felt like her cares were starting to melt away, sliding off her shoulders and her chest like layers of old and rusty armour. She looked around the washroom not sure how she was going to make her way downstairs now that he had abandoned her to fend for herself when her eyes fell on his t-shirt hanging behind the door. It will have to do... maybe I can wear a pair of his jeans and make my way downstairs... she mused in her haze as her mind started to fog up somewhat, no doubt the tablets had surely been stronger than she had expected. Riya slipped the t-shirt on and over her head, inhaling deeply as his scent filled her from her head and down to her curling toes as she revelled in the masculine spice and something fresh that made her throat ache for his lips just there. She tried to shake her head free of the encroaching cobwebs as whatever was in the tablets had made her head spin for a moment; she really needed to get out of here before she passed out on his floor. He didn't want her here... he didn't want her anywhere near him anymore... it would be best if she just left him alone... afterall he had simply left without saying a word, probably expecting her to be gone by the time he returned. She wasn't even sure why she was here anymore as the unbidden tears came back to curse her with their presence. To her horror she almost giggled even as her heart hurt not understanding why or caring anymore, knowing only that the man she would give her life for couldn't wait to get rid of her whilst she stood preposterously naked in his washroom... even if he had shouted at his mother she was under no illusions that he had done it to stand up for her. He had only taken care of her out of basic humanity... he didn't love her. She had been fooling herself. Her tears continued to fall, her chest ached and she wondered why she was hurting again so soon after taking the tablets. Weren't such things meant to numb the senses, send you to sweet oblivion and far away from the painful reality of one's life? So why was her heart still aching every time she thought of him? Why were the stupid tears still coming out of her eyes as though they had a direct connection to her battered heart? Would she never be free of it? Riya leaned her back to the wall for what felt like an hour but could have only been minutes, her feet already unsteady and her thighs and calves completely bare as she had somewhere along the line stopped caring about her state of undress. At least her breasts weren't hanging out like before... the way he had looked at her, the memory of his eyes darkening so dangerously and his throat working as he swallowed back whatever emotion he had felt upon looking at her was still making her lower belly ache. The tears might have been falling down her face, but it didn't mean she didn't want her husband. It didn't mean it was just her heart that was crying out for him; her body was craving his touch like a balm to her soul. Was it any wonder that she hadn't been able to ignore the wetness between her legs as she had clamped her thighs shut, sure that her movements had told him exactly how aroused she had been at his attention to her. It had been his eyes that had undid her even though the movement of his fingers had hurt over her raw skin. When the pain had started to subside and the medication had worked its way into her bloodstream she hadn't been able to ignore the feel of his heat as he stood close to her, the sound of his even breathing or the way his chest rose and fell at the sight of her. Did he want her the way she wanted him? Was she just imagining what she wanted to believe? Or had she seen desire in his eyes again... the way he had desired her on the balcony and as she had sat on the edge of his bed, his body leaning into her? Had he cast her aside for good or... did he still want her, the way only a man could want a woman, needing to sink into her and lose himself in her? She wanted him... she didn't care anymore if it made her seem wanton; he was her husband, was it such a crime that she desired him? That his dark eyes melted her insides every time he stared at her like that? Was it really so wrong when it felt so good? Riya squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, swallowing back the ache in her throat for the man she loved and she hoped... once more and yet again... that she was wrong. That he loved her... somewhere deep down where he didn't even know he did, that maybe he felt for her what she felt for him.
*
He cursed silently under his breath after nearly tripping over the step he had completely forgotten about, having obviously left his brain behind with her in the washroom behind him. Even as he regained his balance he heard the soft feminine cry ahead of him, the sound stilling his movements until he heard it again and moved in its direction. Shivam found her on the floor, her billowing nightwear low and around her ankles as she leaned forward and cried out in pain again before looking up at him. "Chanda? What happened?" Even in the dark he could see the deep frown over her forehead as she shook her head from side to side, "Forgive me... I didn't mean to wake you. I-I...ah!...I came to use the washroom and I tripped on my way out. My ankle... I think I just twisted it..." He frowned for a moment, almost sighing out his own frustration knowing that Riya was still in the washroom and probably getting cold. He didn't have a choice; he would need to help Chanda downstairs and back into dadi's room so she could rest her leg. He couldn't exactly leave her there all night and no matter how much he suspected the girl, he wasn't some kind of degenerate who would refuse to assist a woman in need of help. "Come with me... I'll help you get back to your room. Can you stand up?" even as he hoped she would be able to move herself she quietly cried out in pain again before giving up her efforts to lift her legs up. That's just great... now I have to carry her downstairs... he grumbled to himself, grateful at least that Riya wasn't here to witness this and take it completely the wrong way. "Alright... it looks like I'll have to carry you downstairs. Do I have your permission? It shouldn't take long..." he waited politely for her answer as she nodded her head after a moment; Shivam bent down and lifted her up easily as he focussed on holding her as far away from his body as he could and not brushing his hands against her nightgown. The entire thing felt f**king awkward and yet he moved onwards before descending the stairs and down into the deeper blackness of the lower landing. He couldn't help but notice her tenseness in his arms, no doubt she could feel him through the thin material of her own clothes and the thought almost urged him to put her back down again only wanting to put the distance between them. As he continued through the lounging room and past dadi's swing he was sure he heard some movement above him, however, he swiftly ignored it as he carried on through the archway and found himself stood just a meter or two from dadi's bedroom door. "I'm going to put you down... can you try and put weight on it?" he spoke softly lest his voice carry, hoping that she would be able to at least traverse the short distance into the bedroom as she used the wall to help keep her balance. When she nodded he let her down gently allowing her to regain her balance before her hand shot out and reached for his forearm in the dark, "I-Im sorry... I'll be alright. I can just lean on the wall until I get to my bed. Thank you... Shivam" He simply nodded at her, watching her hobble softly in the dark as she made her way back towards her bed in dadi's room and surprised that she was able to put some amount of pressure on her sprained ankle in the short time since he brought her downstairs. He frowned and shook his head not sure what it meant and not really dwelling on it at this time of the night, especially being so close to dadi's room. God, it gave him the creeps in all honesty; someone couldn't pay him to sleep alone in her room at night. Right... now I need to get that wife of mine some clothes before she falls asleep naked in that washroom... He turned away, his lips upturned for a moment at how much he had adored her shyness infront of him before his thoughts turned less innocent yet again. That image of her wasn't going to disappear any time soon, of that he was sure.
*
Riya felt the cold icicle of jealousy spear her from the crown of her head and straight into her heart and nauseous belly. She hadn't been able to stay in the washroom in just a t-shirt when her head had spun for a moment and she had decided to find one of his jeans from his draw, even if the garment would have hung loosely around her. It was a hell of alot better than just walking around in her panties. As she had rummaged around in the dark, the tiny lamp in the corner barely giving her any light she hadn't missed the soft mumbling sounds of voices out on the landing. She had ducked to the floor so quickly that she had momentarily lost her bearings before realising that no lights had been turned on. Her curiosity peaked, she walked slowly towards the bedroom door slightly ajar when she heard the unmistakable sound of his voice low and soft in the dark. As she had watched the scene before her unfold, the nausea in her entire body had multiplied and now as she watched him carry another woman in his arms and down the stairs just as he had carried her up only less than a week ago she felt stupid. Foolish. Somewhere, at some point she had thought it had meant something, that he had wanted her again even if he hadn't known it. Her blood felt like it was being forced through her veins like sludge and the fresh sting in her eyes turned to tears before she viciously swiped them away, her heart breaking for the hundred thousandth time since knowing this man. The betrayal swept through her like she was a magnet in a room full of needles, each sharp point piercing her entire body until she felt sick. She couldn't stand it... the way he had lifted her up into his arms, holding her close to him... for how else could you be held in anyone's arms? Chanda's body had sunk into his and the jealousy and bitter anger was clawing at her right now as she stood motionless in the doorway for anyone to find her. She wouldn't cry, not the hell again! She swallowed the pain back, feeling like packing her damned bags and just leaving them to it. How many times? How many times was she going to put herself through this? What the hell is wrong with me? So WHAT if I love him?! So WHAT?! Every time he had kissed her, touched her... looked at her like that, she had let her guard down bit by bit... trusting that maybe, just maybe he truly needed her. That he knew she was his. But no... no he was moping about in the dark carrying that woman about like a knight in bloody shining armour... the same woman that dadi and this whole insane family wanted him married to. Her head felt so light that she leaned against the doorframe for a moment before letting go; she didn't care how dizzy she felt. She was getting the hell out of his room; she didn't need him to look after her. She was stupid, desperate... so damned lonely and missing him like he was her heart, because he was her heart and here he was carrying Chanda in his arms like his damned lover? No. I'm going back down and he can go to hell. Five months, God. Five months and then I WILL go! She screamed inwardly as the tears started to fall again, swiping at them hatefully and now hating the familiar wetness on her face these days. She wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of accusing her of giving up and not doing everything she could to fix her marriage... but no, she knew now that she couldn't fix it. Not after that display of his. No, she would damn well make herself stay here for another five months and show them that she wasn't the kind of person to just give up on her marriage without giving it her best shot and then she would leave even if they begged her to stay. No, she would never return after practically begging for their acceptance; even if it killed her she would leave and she could just shrivel up and die in a hole somewhere without him while he lived the life of his dreams with Chanda. She hated herself; she hated her weakness for him, that she felt so incomplete without him that she had become so small in her own eyes. If he touches me again I'll scratch his eyes out! She felt like she was coming unhinged, both hating and loving the way he had kissed her and touched her because it gave him complete and total control over her heart, her body... her spirit. She melted into a puddle of goo and uselessness when he looked at her like that. Well, no more. No more Shivam! You cant just put your hands on me and...and...and kiss me and think I will put up with anything! You can have her! She trembled in the dark, her only protection against the cold was his t-shirt as she kept wiping at the tears over her cheeks; no sooner would she dry her face with the back of her hand before another sad and angry tear would replace the last one. Without looking back into his room, she stepped out of the doorway in just his shirt and her bare legs and made her way back down to her pathetic old mat. She was sure he wouldn't even notice that she had disappeared anyway, not when he was with Miss Perfect downstairs probably massaging some ointment on her ankle. Whatever... who cares? She shrugged it off in her mind, in truth feeling anything but aloof. She was hurt, again and again and again and again. You can have her Shivam. She let the unspoken ball of pain and anger settle like crumbling rocks in her chest before she took one step down the staircase after the other.
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